Thursday, December 31, 2009

Sign of the times

Pretty much sums up the year, i think

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - Exodus, Part 2

Jack, Kate, and Locke go
inside the Black Rock. Hurley
and Arzt stay outside.

The trio find an
old crate full of dynamite.
They carry it out.

Arzt berates the main
characters, telling them they
need to be careful.

He does have a point,
because mid-sentence the stick
Arzt was holding? Boom.

Yup. Just like that, Arzt
exploded. Nobody will
really miss him, though.

Very carefully
Jack and Locke pick up and wrap
some dynamite sticks.

As the group heads back
they encounter the Monster.
They all, but Locke, run.

Locke goes to see the
Monster, and winds up getting
dragged away by it.

The Monster tries to
pull Locke into a hole. Jack
grabs his arms, holds on.

He uses a stick
of dynamite to force the
Monster to let go.

We get a semi-
good look at the Monster for
the first time. It's ...smoke.

Yes. Apparently
the thing making machine-like
noises, crushing trees...

...dragging Locke, eating
pilots, and scaring the crap
out of them all? Smoke.

On the beach Danielle
shows up and steals Turnip-head.
Sayid and Charlie...

...go after her. They
track her down near the black smoke.
She wanted to trade.

In her nutso mind,
she would give them Turnip-head,
she would get Alex.

But, the Others aren't
there to make the trade. Charlie
thinks she made them up.

But, no, she heard the
whispers. They said "we're coming
for the child. The boy."

Sayid and Charlie
take back Turnip-head, who is
named Aaron by Claire.

On the raft, a boat
approaches! Everyone cheers!
Yay! They are rescued!!

Michael begins to
tell their rescuers about
the crash and so on.

He's interrupted
by the boat's captain, saying
some creepy ass lines:...

..."Only, the thing is,
we're going to have to take
the boy." Oh my god.

Michael says, "Hell no."
The boat people shoot Sawyer
who falls overboard.

Jin jumps in to save
him. Two of the Others board
the raft, and take Walt.

As Walt is taken
from his dad, screaming, Michael
jumps in the water...

...as a Molotov
cocktail burns his second raft,
and the Others flee.

Michael cries Walt's name
in a heartbreaking voice as
the boat disappears.

Back on the island,
Hurley notices the Hatch
contains the Numbers.

He tries to stop Locke
from lighting the dynamite,
but he's too late. Boom!

The hatch is removed,
and Jack and Locke peer down a
very long passage.

So what's inside? We'll
have to wait until Season
Two to answer that!

Haiku Review: Lost - Exodus, Part 1

Season finale!!
This ep plus the next one have
multiple flashbacks

The flashbacks are brief,
and mostly unimportant.
One exception: Jack's.

Jack is in a bar,
Michelle Rodriguez sits next
to him. Her name is...

...Ana-Lucia.
That's too many syllables!
Let's call her "Ana".

Ana flirts with Jack,
and we learn she will be on
the plane...in the back.

Oh, we also learn
Sawyer's real last name. It's "Ford".
Okay. Island time.

Danielle shows up on
the beach with a warning: The
Others are coming.

She tells them all how
sixteen years ago they showed
up and took her child.

First, she says, there was
a pillar of black smoke. That
night they took Alex.

Now they are coming
back. The survivors have 3
options: Run. Hide. Die.

A pillar of black
smoke on the horizon seems
to prove she's correct.

Jack's plan is to get
into the hatch, and hide the
group inside it. But...

...to do that, he needs
explosives. Danielle will take
them to the Black Rock.

So. Jack, Kate, Hurley,
Locke, Danielle, and Arzt will trek
to get the boom sticks.

Meanwhile, the raft is
nearly ready to set sail.
Jack wishes James luck.

And gives him one of
the guns ("just in case"). Sawyer
tells Jack 'bout his dad
.

Walt gives Vincent to
Shannon. Sun gives Jin a list
to help his English.

Jin says he's going
to save her. They share a kiss.
Then, it's time to go.

The raft is launched, and
amidst cheery, uplifting
music, starts sailing.

Meanwhile, the jungle
crew has arrived at Black Rock.
It's a pirate ship.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - Born to Run

A science teacher
named Arzt (but Hurley calls Arntz)
is a survivor...

...from the crash.Up 'til
now, he's been just an extra
with no speaking lines.

He tells the group that
the winds are changing, the raft
should launch...yesterday.

He's a bit of a
know-it-all and somewhat rude.
He should go away.

Sayid shows the Hatch
to Jack, who, like Locke wants to
open it up now.

Sayid is aghast.
He thought Jack would talk Locke out
of his crazy plan.

But Jack is all, "Hey
this could be a great place to
live!" Sayid thinks not.

The trio decide
they need to figure out what
they should all do next.

Michael continues
to work on the raft. He, Walt,
two more, will soon leave.

Position 3 is Jin.
Rounding out the crew - Sawyer.
Kate wants on the boat.

She tells Sawyer she'll
get his spot. He scoffs. But when
Sawyer & Michael...

...have an argument,
Michael says maybe Sawyer
shouldn't come along.

Sun, meanwhile, does not
want her husband to leave her,
but he won't listen.

Michael suddenly
gets quite ill. Jack figures out
that he's been poisoned.

Blame time! Michael blames
Sawyer. Sawyer blames Kate. Jack
does, too. Which makes sense.

When Sawyer reveals
Kate's criminal past to all,
she is ostracized.

Michael votes Sawyer
back onto the boat, which will
set sail tomorrow.

Jack concludes that Sun
poisoned the water, meaning
for Jin to drink it.

She wanted to make
him sick enough that he'd have
to stay and not go.

Walt warns Locke not to
open it (meaning the Hatch).
Walt knows he will, though.

So that night he tells
his dad, "I burned the first raft.
I wanted to stay."

Michael says, "We can
stay. We don't have to go." Walt
says, "Yes. We do." Chills!!

Haiku Review: Lost - The Greater Good

In Sayid's flashbacks,
we learn the CIA used
Sayid as a mole.

Sayid's roommate from
his college days is plotting
to blow himself up.

In the end, Sayid
tells his friend he was working
for the CIA

His pal shoots himself.
But, Sayid learns Nadia
is alive stateside.

(Which makes me wonder
why he told Rousseau she was
dead
. Writing error!!)

On the island, Boone's
funeral is being held.
It's not going well.

Sayid mentions (in
a roundabout way) how poor
a swimmer Boone was.

Then Locke shows up and
Jack goes berserk, punches him,
calls him a liar.

Locke tells the crowd 'bout
the plane that he and Boone found,
fails to mention Hatch.

Shannon tells Sayid:
"Locke killed my brother. Will you
do something 'bout that?"

So Sayid walks with
John to the plane, asking him
questions the whole way.

Locke's all, "Why don't you
trust me?" Sayid says: "You've got
a handgun on you."

Locke tells him about
the dead "priest", and then gives the
handgun to Sayid.

And then, because Locke
has some serious chutzpah,
he tells armed Sayid...

..."I was the one who
knocked you out and broke your stuff
."
Sayid aims the gun.

Locke talks him out of
pulling the trigger, but *still*
lies about the Hatch.

Meanwhile, Kate drugs Jack
with sleeping pills to force him
to recuperate.

While he's passed out, the
key to the case with the guns
goes missing. Uh-oh.

It's Shannon who took
the key, and she has a gun
now. She wants revenge.

Sayid, Jack and Kate
try to talk Shannon out of
killing Locke. She shoots.

But the gunshot goes
wild, only grazing Locke's skull.
It's just a flesh wound.

I'll quickly mention
the b-story here: Charlie
is baby-sitting.

He's christened the child:
Turnip-head. (Ha ha! I had
forgotten 'bout that.)

The only person
who can stop Turnip-head from
crying is Sawyer.

At the very end,
Sayid goes to Locke, demands
to be shown the Hatch


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - Do No Harm

Despite Jack's efforts
Boone succumbs to his wounds, dies.
Farewell, Worst Lifeguard.

While he lay dying,
Boone mentions the hatch, makes Jack
suspicious of Locke.

And when Boone dies, and
when he's gone, there'll be one
child born, carry on.

Claire gives birth. Kate's there.
Jin and Charlie are, as well.
(Is Sawyer there too?)

Shannon is busy
having a date with Sayid
while Boone is dying.

Oh, Sayid. Any
time you fall in love, it ends
with somebody's death.

In the flashbacks, we
learn that Jack married Sarah,
a former patient.

He fixed her spine, and
she fell in love with him. It's
as dull as it sounds.

At the end of the
ep, Jack is off to find Locke,
since "he murdered Boone".

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

3 years from now

I feel like i should mention the fast-approaching 2012 winter solstice, but, really i have nothing to say about it. It's fun to pretend that something world-ending or life-changing or paradigm-shifting or whatever-whatevering will take place then, but i honestly dont think it will be anything other than just another day.

aside from the zombie uprising, of course.

in other news, i also wanted to take a brief break from posting in haiku form. and from lost. if my math is correct, if i finish up season 1 by the end of the year, i can get the other 3 seasons done in January if i post 2 episodes a day. do-able, but it may cause Lost-burnout amongst the few readers i still have. so i'll be sure to mix things up a bit and blog about other things, too.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - Deus Ex Machina

In the past, Locke gets
conned out of a kidney by
his dad, Anthony.

(You can tell it’s the
past because Locke is wearing
a wig. And walking.)

Locke’s mom was in on
the con, too. She introduced
Locke and his papa.

Once Locke got to know
and trust the guy, he reveals
he needs a kidney.

Locke is a nice guy,
so he gladly donates his,
then his dad ditched him.

Poor John. It’s not his
fault that his dad, Anthony
Cooper, is pure scum.

But now we can add
Locke to the list of males with
daddy issues. Yay!

Locke and Boone have built
a trebuchet, even though
Boone can’t spell that word.

It smashes against
the Hatch window, but shatters,
frustrating them both.

(Oh, and a piece of
shrapnel impales Locke’s leg. But
he doesn’t feel it.)

Locke has a vision
involving a small airplane
(and a bloody Boone)

He tells Boone about
the vision (but leaves out the
part of him bloody)

At first Boone is all,
“Whatchoo talkin’ ‘bout Willis?”
And Locke is all, “FATE!!”

As they tromp through the
jungle, Locke’s miracle legs
start to waver some.

Locke & Boone find a
dead body in a tree. It’s
wearing a priest’s clothes.

But it had a gun,
so Locke thinks he wasn’t a
priest. (Boy, is he right!)

They then spot the plane
from Locke’s vision. It’s up on
cliff top, dangling.

Locke can’t go up there,
so Boone climbs up, goes inside,
and finds ...heroin.

Lots of heroin,
hidden in Virgin Mary
statues. Holy crap!

The plane starts to tip,
Locke warns Boone, “get out”. First he
tests the radio.

He says into it,
“We’re the survivors of flight
815.” “Us, too!!”

But then, crash! The plane
comes down, and Boone is bloody.
John carries him home.

He drops Boone’s wounded
body off with Jack, saying
“he fell off a cliff”.

He then goes back to
the Hatch, angry, crying. Then…
on comes a light. Whoa.

Haiku Review: Lost - Numbers

These are The Numbers:
Four. Eight. Twenty-three. Fifteen.
Sixteen. Forty-two.

Hurley heard them from
Lenny, a guy he met while
in a psycho ward.

Why was Hurley in
an institution? (He just
wanted a Pepsi?)

We don’t find out. Yet.
All we know is he’s fine now.
Don’t call him crazy!

Hurley picked up the
numbers from Lenny (who got
them from Sam Toomey)

Toomey was a guy
in the Navy who listened
for transmissions in…

...the Pacific. He
heard the numbers transmitting,
and used them to win…

…a guessing game that
let him win fifty-thousand
dollars, but cursed him.

Hurley used the same
numbers to play the lotto
and now he’s cursed too.

His run of bad luck
includes: grandfather dying,
mother’s house burning…

…getting arrested
by the LAPD, and,
of course, the plane crash.

No one believes him
when he tells them about the
curse. Except Rousseau.

The irony, I
think, is lost on Hurley, but
it doesn’t matter.

He’s just relieved to
have someone else confirm his
beliefs, re: numbers.

Rousseau (whom Hurley
continuously calls “French
chick”) knows the numbers.

Because her team heard
the same transmission that Sam
heard. It brought them here.

At the end, we see
the Numbers are inscribed on
the Hatch that Locke found.

Haiku Review: Lost - ...In Translation

When Michael’s raft gets
set on fire, Michael blames Jin,
starts beating him up.

Sun breaks them up and
reveals to everyone that
she can speak English.

Jin is pissed, shocked, hurt.
He packs up his stuff, moving
back down to the beach.

He offers to help
Michael build a new, better
raft, as does Walter.

Locke blames the arson
on Ethan's people. They have
attacked them before.

But, turns out that Walt
was the one who destroyed the
raft in the first place.

He tells Locke that he
did it because he likes the
Island. Locke does too.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - Outlaws

The T-1000
tells Sawyer he's found the guy
who ruined his life.

He goes by the name
of Frank Duckett and he is
living in Sydney.

Sawyer goes down there,
gets a handgun, and stalks Frank.
But can't murder him.

So Sawyer ends up
in a bar, getting drunk, and
Christian Shepherd's there!

Jack's dad admits that
he loves his son, but is too
weak to call him up.

He tells Sawyer, whose
real first name is James, to take
care of his business.

So Sawyer gets his
Ducketts all in a row, and
shoots Frank in cold blood.

As Frank is dying,
we learn he's not who James was
looking for at all.

Mr. Duckett was
just a guy who owed the T-
1000 money.

Main lesson here is
never trust Robert Patrick.
He's an evil dude.

Frank's dying words were,
"It will come back around." So
James is a bit freaked...

...When he hears that phrase
among the whispers while he
is in the jungle.

For a good portion
of this ep, James is harassed
by one of the boar.

He's semi-convinced
the boar has a vendetta
against him. (He's right.)

He wants to kill the
boar, but ultimately he's
like, "It's just a pig."

Near the end, Sawyer
figures out he met Jack's dad,
but doesn't tell him.

(Because it makes more
sense to wait until a more
dramatic moment.)

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - Homecoming

Back before Charlie
crashed on the Island, he tried
to pull off a scam.

But he couldn't pull
it off because he wasn't
responsible then.

Now, though, Charlie is
watching out for Claire, making
sure that she's okay.

Claire has come back from
wherever Ethan had her,
but no memory.

The last thing she can
remember is getting on
the flight to L.A.

Maybe she should read
my Haiku Reviews to help
her remember things.

That's not possible,
so instead Charlie is there
to help her along.

But then Ethan Rom
tells Charlie he wants Claire back.
If not, he'll kill Scott.

Or Steve. Oh. AND Steve.
And everyone in the camp,
until Claire comes back.

Guards are set up, but
Ethan manages to get past Boone
once he fell asleep.

A plan is made to
lure Ethan out and catch him.
Claire is used as bait.

Ethan shows up, and
he and Jack fight. Then Charlie
shoots Ethan. A lot.

Charlie says Ethan
deserved to die, and he'd not
let him get near Claire.

In the end, Claire tells
Charlie that she remembers
peanut butter.
Aww.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - Special

Walt is special. He
can summon polar bears, knife
throws, dice rolls, and birds.

Michael is going
to build a raft. Nice to see
someone proactive.

Charlie reads something
in Claire's journal: she had a
dream about black rock.

Since Rousseau mentioned
a Black Rock too, maybe that's
where Claire was taken?

Maybe they can ask
her, since at the end of the
ep, Claire has come back.

Haiku Review: Lost - Hearts and Minds

Boone gets a call from
Shannon, saying she needs help
and is in Sydney.

Boone flies down to help
his sister. She's with a guy
who is beating her.

Boone goes to the cops,
who are not very helpful.
(Oh look! There's Sawyer!)

(Yeah, Sawyer makes a
cameo in this flashback.
They're all connected!)

Anyway, we learn
that Boone and Shannon aren't blood
relation. Okay.

Boone goes to Shannon's
boyfriend and tells him to leave.
Pays him 50k.

But then Boone finds out
Shannon set up this scam to
get Boone's mom's money.

Boone is (rightfully)
pissed and gets into a brawl
with Shannon's boyfriend.

Later, Shannon shows
up at Boone's hotel, saying
she knows he loves her.

First he denies it,
but then performs CPR
on her...with his tongue.

Afterward, Shannon
says things have to go back to
how they were before.

Now, on the island,
Shannon flirts with Sayid while
Boone is jealous, mad.

Locke has Boone focus
on the hatch. Says that is their
top priority.

To convince him, Locke
makes some homemade LSD
let's Boone go trippin'.

Suddenly Shannon
is nearby. The monster shows
up. They scream, and run.

Shannon gets snagged while
running!! Whoa! It just picked
her up, and killed her!

Except, as it turns
out, not really. That was a
drug-induced vision.

And since when she died
in his vision, Boone was glad,
he'll follow Locke now.

Other storylines:
Kate learns that Sun speaks English.
And Sayid asks Jack...

...to stand in the place
where he lives, and now face north.
His compass is whacked.

Sayid thinks either
the compass is defective
or magnets are near.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - Whatever the Case May Be


Kate finds a suitcase
that belonged to the marshal
and wants what's inside.

After grave-robbing
with Jack, the case gets opened.
Oh great. More handguns.

But Kate doesn't want
guns or ammo or money.
She wants the airplane.

Yup, a toy airplane
that she claims belonged to the
man she loved...and killed.

In her flashbacks, we
see that Kate helped rob a bank
just to get this toy.

Haiku Review: Lost - All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues


Was Jack's dad, Christian:
Alcoholic? Surgeon? Jerk?
All of the above!

Seems Christian sometimes
went into surgery while
intoxicated.

Jack at first covers
for his dad. Ultimately,
though, he turns him in.

So, yeah, you could say
that Jack has daddy issues.
So...he's a cowboy?

That's in the past, though.
Presently, everyone is
looking for Ethan

Who has managed to
kidnap both Claire (who's pregnant)
and Charlie, alone.

He made fake trails, too.
Dude's a good multi-tasker,
is all I'm saying.

Jack, Kate, Boone, and Locke
are following the trails. Kate
has some tracking skills.

Jack & Kate head one
way, Boone & Locke another.
Jack finds Ethan....'s fist.

Ethan beats the crap
out of Jack, warning him to
stop following him.

If he doesn't, he
will kill one of them. Moments
later, there's Charlie...

...hanging from a tree.
Jack and Kate cut him down. Jack
performs CPR.

But it's too late. Kate
asks Jack to stop. Jack won't give
up. He continues.

And then, it works! Jack
worked another miracle.
They shed joyful tears.

They return to the
camp, but Charlie's traumatized.
He won't speak, just stares.

Eventually
he tells Jack that "they" only
wanted Claire. Just Claire.

Meanwhile, Boone and Locke
are still in the jungle. Boone
tells Locke 'bout Redshirts.

Locke replies, "Sounds like
Kirk was a piss poor captain."
Ha! That scene was great.

Later that night Boone
wants to head back. John tosses
him a flashlight, but...

...Boone misses the catch,
and it hits the ground with a
metallic "ka-thunk!".

The duo reveal
something large and metal is
buried in the ground.

Boone asks, "What is that?"
Locke: "We're going to find out."
Eventually.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - Raised by Another

Eight months ago, young
Claire Littleton found out she
was pregnant. Uh-oh.

Not to worry, though.
Her boyfriend is on board.
Things are going great.

Claire goes with her friend
to get a psychic reading.
The psychic freaks out.

He asks the girls to
leave, and won't do the reading.
This doesn't bode well.

Five months ago, Claire's
boyfriend changed his tune and left
Claire all alone. Jerk.

A week later, Claire
returns to the psychic and
asks for a reading.

He informs her that
she must raise the child. "It can
not be another."

Claire doesn't want to
hear that. She's putting the kid
up for adoption.

The psychic begs her
to reconsider. "This child
needs your protection."

Four months ago, Claire
was ready to sign the forms,
but the pens were dry.

She took that as a
sign that adoption wasn't
the thing to do then.

A month and a half
ago, the psychic bought Claire
a plane ticket so...

...she could fly to where
a family was waiting to
adopt in L.A.

Fifteen days ago,
that plane crashed. So Claire *can* raise
the baby alone.

Which makes Claire wonder
if the psychic knew the plane
would crash all along.

But now, Claire's having
visions of being attacked
(or are they visions?)

Hurley points out to
Jack that they don't really know
one another well.

For instance, his name
is actually Hugo.
Hurley's a nickname.

So, Hugo wants to
get a census. Jack says "Go
for it." Hurley does.

One of the men we
see him interview is named
Ethan. Ethan Rom.

Near the end of the
ep, Hurley tells Jack, "Ethan's
not a passenger."

Ethan was not on
the plane to begin with. Crap!
Where is Ethan now?

He's in the jungle.
With Charlie, and Claire, who is
having contractions.

Haiku Review: Lost - Solitary

Sayid, wandering
the jungle, ends up caught by
distress signal girl!

The French woman who
made the distress signal has
been here all this time.

Her name is Danielle
Rousseau. And she is a bit
detached from normal.

She asks Sayid where
Alex is several times. He,
of course, doesn't know.

They trade stories. She
crashed here on a boat with her
science team, years back.

Her time on the isle
hasn't been fun. She rambles
about the Black Rock...

...the Others, some sort
of sickness, whispers in the
jungle, and Alex.

Alex was her child.
The other stuff is left vague.
Poor, crazy, Danielle.

She lets Sayid go
back to camp, once he repairs
her old music box.

On his way back, though,
Sayid is stopped when he hears
whispers in the jungle.

Meanwhile, Hurley builds
a golf course to help relieve
the stress and boredom.

Jack goes golfing. Wait.
A doctor? Golfing? Come on!!
That's ridiculous!

In Sayid's flashback
we met Nadia, Sayid's
true love. She's dead now.

She was to be killed
for treason, but Sayid helped
her escape that fate.

Interestingly,
to help her escape, he shoots
a guard, then his leg.

Before she leaves him,
she signs a photo, "You'll see
me in the next life."

Haiku Review: Lost - Confidence Man

Shannon has asthma
but doesn't have inhalers.
Boone checks Sawyer's stash.

Unfortunately,
Sawyer catches him in the
act, and beats him up.

Kate figures she'll use
her feminine charms to get
the inhalers back.

Sawyer says he'll give
them to her in exchange for
a kiss. Um. Really?

Dude. Both of you have
been on this island without
toothpaste for nine days.

Kate must be thinking
the same thing, since she turns him
down (for now at least).

Meanwhile, Sayid has
spoken with Locke, who implies
Sawyer as the one...

...who attacked Sayid
from behind the other day.
Heh. Locke's a con man.

As Shannon's breathing
worsens, Sayid mentions he
has tortured people.

Jack and Sayid tie
Sawyer to a tree, and then
get under his skin.

Or fingernails, to
be more precise. With bamboo.
Ouch. Finally Sawyer...

...says he'll give them the
inhalers. But only to
Kate. And again, he...

...asks Kate for a kiss
first. This time she agrees. Then,
Sawyer admits that...

...he doesn't have the
inhalers after all. Wow.
Kate slaps him, tells Jack.

Sayid gets pissed, and
winds up accidentally
stabbing Sawyer's arm.

Jack is able to
patch him up so he doesn't
bleed to death, although...

...Sawyer says if the
tables were turned, he'd let Jack
die. Sawyer's just....wow.

Oh, and Sawyer is,
it turns out, not even his
real name. Of course not.

Does Sawyer tell the
truth about *anything*? Jeez.
Okay, backstory:

When Sawyer was a
kid, his mom got conned by her
lover. Sawyer's dad...

...found out, killed her, and
then himself. Sawyer has spent
his life looking for...

...the conman who caused
so much pain in his life. And
that man's name? Sawyer.

After torturing
Sawyer, Sayid decides he
needs to get away.

He wants to map the
island, and also atone
for doing torture.

Sun finds some plants to
help Shannon's breathing. Take that,
Western medicine!

Charlie gets Claire a
jar of imaginary
peanut butter. Yum!

Haiku Review: Lost - The Moth

Charlie wants his drugs.
Locke says, "No. Unless you ask
three times. Now bug off."

Jack gets trapped in a
cave-in. Charlie goes to get
help. ...and ask for drugs.

Locke says, "A moth has
to struggle to survive. Ask
once more for your drugs."

Charlie digs his way
into the cave-in, and saves
Jack. Just like a moth.

Wait. That doesn't make
sense. Eh. Whatever. The drug
rehab plotline sucked.

Sayid, meanwhile is
about to find the distress
signal's location.

But then he gets cLOCKEd
on the back of the head by
an unseen person.

Charlie asks for his
dope a third time. Locke gives it
up. Charlie burns it.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - House of the Rising Sun

Here comes the Sun. ..and
Jin episode. Sun and Jin
are the Koreans.

Jin was working as
a waiter when Sun first met
him. That much is true.

Sun's dad will only
let Jin marry his daughter
if Jin works for him.

So, great! Jin gets a
high paying job and gets to
marry his true love.

But if it were that
simple, it would be boring.
So. Complications.

It seems Jin is now
married to the mob. I mean
married to his job.

He's seldom home since
Sun's dad has him doing his
dirty work for him.

And as a result, Jin,
who once was a nice, decent
guy, has become...mean.

Not seeing any
other options, Sun has learned
English, plans to flee.

At the airport, though,
Sun sees the man she loves is
still there, so she stays.

On the Isle, Jin hits
Michael, so Sun has to come
clean: "Habla ingles"

Michael grudgingly
agrees to keep Sun's secret,
still doesn't like Jin.

Jack asks people to
move to the caves for safety.
Sayid's not convinced.

Sayid's argument
is the beach is more likely
the spot for rescue.

The camps get split. Kate,
Boone, Shannon, Sawyer, Michael
Sayid - stay on beach.

Hurley, Jin, Sun, Locke
move into the caves. So much
for "live together".

Oh, and Kate found the
remains of a couple in
the caves. Locke dubs them...

...Adam and Eve. Their
bones have been there a long time,
and each had a stone.

Jack took the stones, and
pocketed them. Does this mean
he's somehow Adam?

And lastly, Locke has
Charlie give him his drug stash,
points out his guitar.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost- White Rabbit

Charlie yells for Jack
to save someone from drowning,
since Charlie can't swim.

Jack jumps in and saves...
Boone. Wow. He really is the
worst lifeguard ever.

Especially since
Boone was out there trying to
rescue a woman.

So the woman drowns,
and Jack feels guilty, and goes
off to chase his dad.

The fact that his dad
is here on the Island makes
Jack somewhat worried.

For two reasons. One:
Jack's dad was a bit of a
jerk. Also? He's dead.

Jack, being Mr.
Logic, thinks he's gone nuts from
dehydration, stress.

Locke, on the other
hand, says, "What if you're not nuts?"
Which....isn't helpful.

So Jack chases his
dead, jerkass dad and almost
falls off a cliff. Ha!!

Eventually, Jack
finds both a water supply,
and his dad's coffin.

The coffin is sans
papa, which doesn't do much
for Jack's sanity.

But, hey! Fresh water!
Jack says, "Live together or
die alone. Your choice."

Haiku Review: Lost - Walkabout

John Locke has changed quite
a bit since the plane crashed. Let's
look at how, shall we?

John's pre-Island life:
worked in a cubicle, spent
his lunch playing games.

He often spoke of
his destiny, planned to go
on a Walkabout.

His dickish boss thinks
he can't do it. But Locke's made
his reservation.

He wants to bring his
"girlfriend", Helen, she's just
a phone sex girlfriend.

On the Island, Locke
is able to show off his
Walkabout talents.

He knows how to hunt,
and track, and stare down monsters.
Island-Locke kicks ass.

Locke can't stand being
told "what he can't do". He makes
his own destiny.

The biggest change for
John, though, has to be that he
was in a wheelchair.

For four years, he'd been
paralyzed from the waist down.
The crash changed all that.

Oh, hey! We learn two
more names. Preg-o is named Claire,
Walt's dad is Michael.

The Korean man
and his wife are still nameless.
This show's cast is huge!

Other goings-on:
Sayid wants to find where the
distress signal is.

Jack wants to burn the
bodies, and is seeing his
dead father around.

Rose, the woman Jack
saved back in the pilot ep,
says her husband lives.

Jack is all, "Um. He
was in the tail section. So...
I don't think so, Rose."

But Rose has faith that
her Bernard somehow survived.
*cough* season two *cough*

Friday, December 11, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - Tabula Rasa

Kate, and the others
decide NOT to tell the group
about the message

"So we lie" Kate says.
We learn from her flashback that
Kate's good at lying.

See, when Kate was in
Oz she met a guy named Ray
whom she lied to. Lots.

She said her name was
Annie. And she didn't say
she's a fugitive.

But eventually
Ray figures it out and turns
her in to the law.

Meanwhile, on the Isle,
Jack has to euthanize Kate's
captor cuz Sawyer...

...can take down a bear,
but shooting a dying man
proves too hard for him.

We learn that "Orange
Peel" shares his name with someone
famous - one John Locke!

Walt's dad doesn't like
Walt spending time with John, but
Walt likes Mr. Locke.

Walt tells his dad that
Locke told him "a miracle
happened to him." Hmmm.

Locke makes a whistle,
lures Vincent out of the woods.
See? He's not so bad.

Jack discovers Kate's
criminal past, but doesn't
want to know details.

He says that who they
were is not important. They
all have blank slates now.

Somehow, I think Jack
is wrong about this. I bet
their pasts will haunt them.

The episode ends
with a musical montage.
As "Wash Away" plays...

...Charlie changes fate,
Preg-o rubs her big belly,
Boone gives Shannon shades...

...Sayid tosses an
apple to Sawyer, Vincent
and Walt reunite.

John Locke watches them
in a creepy fashion. Hmm.
Maybe he is bad.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - Pilot, Part 2

Jack, Kate, and Charlie
can't get the transciever to
work. Wait a second.

Did they just leave the
pilot's body up in the
trees? That's cold-blooded!

But I guess they do
have more pressing issues to
deal with currently.

As they make their way
through the jungle, Kate asks what
Charlie was doing...

...back on the plane, in
the bathroom. Charlie claims he
was "getting sick", but...

...in Charlie's flashback
to the flight, we learn, in fact,
he was getting high.

So, really, he was
in the bathroom searching for
his heroin bag.

Meanwhile, on the beach,
Shannon is sunbathing. Still
waiting for rescue.

World's Worst Lifeguard asks
her to do something useful,
which seems unlikely.

Preg-o asks Shannon
if Lifeguard is her boyfriend.
No, he's her brother.

And, his name is Boone.
Yay! Character names! We still
don't find out Preg-o's.

Although she admits
she hasn't felt the baby
kick since yesterday.

Black dad is looking
for his son, Walt. Maybe he
should try asking the...

...passengers who, you
know, speak English? Instead of
the Korean folk.

Walt, meanwhile, is in
the jungle, calling out for
Vincent, his lost dog.

He discovers a
pair of handcuffs. That's somewhat
disturbing. His dad...

...finds him, scolds him for
not staying nearby, and is
freaked by the handcuffs.

beachside, tensions soar
as Sayid is being blamed
for crashing the plane

He's fighting with a
redneck (Sayid's words) until
Kate breaks up the fight.

Redneck thinks Sayid
was wearing the 'cuffs. Sayid
doesn't deny this.

Redneck is less than
thrilled to hear Sayid will
work on transceiver.

Redneck has penchant
for nicknames. Ironic, since
we don't learn his name.

But! We learn "Hurley"
is Big Guy's name. Plus, Sayid
fought in the Gulf War.

Transceiver gets fixed,
but Sayid wants to broadcast
from the mountaintop.

Kate's going with Sayid.
Shannon decides she's going.
Charlie and Boone, too.

Redneck opts to tag
along also, because he's
quote, "A complex guy".

Mr. Orange Peel
is setting up a game of
backgammon. Alone?

Along comes Walt, who
gets a history lesson:
Backgammon is old.

Really old. Older
than Jesus (and more famous!).
Two sides. Light... and dark.

Then, Mr. Orange
Peel asks Walt if he wants to
know a secret. Hmm.

The jungle group is
startled by a rustling of
trees. Uh-oh!! They run.

Except for Redneck,
whom Kate calls "Sawyer". He pulls
out a gun (!!) and shoots.

He fires many shots
at whatever is coming
toward him. It dies.

Turns out it was a
polar bear, giving us our
first "What the...??" moment.

The jungle crew have
lots of questions. Well, two. Where'd
the bear come from? And...

...where did Sawyer get
a gun? He says he found it
along with a badge...

...on the body of a
U.S. Marshal. This causes
Sayid to suspect...

...that Sawyer is who
was wearing the cuffs. Sawyer
doesn't deny this.

But, while they bicker,
Kate steals the gun from Sawyer,
and takes it apart.

Flashback to the plane.
Kate is the one wearing the
handcuffs. Nice plot twist!

Now Sayid gets a
signal. But they can't transmit,
cuz someone else is.

Shannon translates the
transmission, which says, "You are
fucked." (Pardon her French.)

The transmission is
from a woman who says "I'm
alone. It killed them."

It's been repeating
16 years. Man, these guys are
never getting saved.

Charlie ends the ep
by asking what we all want
to know: "Where are we?"

Sunday, December 06, 2009

i remember it like it was yesterday

i have a horribly bad recollection of my life prior to the age of 14 or so. And, really, a lot of the memories from before the age of 20 are ...blurry. I mean, if I concentrate, I can start to recall things better, but, honestly, it's almost like I simply popped into existence as a young adult.

It's enough to make wonder if I'm a fictional character, and most of my childhood/backstory just hasn't been fully developed by the author.

It always amazes me how much of her youth Steph is able to remember. She knows names of people she knew when she was, like, 6, for example.

I, on the other hand, never was six.

A lot of it, I'm sure is my own blocking/suppressing, but I think, also, that I could/should work on improving my memory recall powers. Not sure how to do that, exactly. I probably did know how at one time, but I've forgotten.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Life is perfect, never better

("Mother Mother" by Tracy Bonham)

So. Hypothetical.

Imagine your parents got divorced when you were 8. Your father got custody of you, and for several summers you would visit your mother (who remarried and lived in another state, all the way across the country). Around the age of 15, flying across country (and back) was simply too expensive, and you couldn't make the annual visit.

You lose touch with your mother, who doesn't write, or call, or attempt to make any contact with you.

Years pass, and you grow older and have children of your own. Your mother doesn't even (as far as you know) know that she now HAS grandchildren. She's never met them, or seen photos of them, or even heard of them.

Then, you get an email notification in your inbox from Facebook that your mother has added you as a friend. With the comment, "I believe you are my long lost son. I hope that you will allow me to reconnect with you via Facebook. Please let me know."

....What do you do? What do you say? How can you reestablish a link that has been absent for so many years (and should you even try)?

Friday, December 04, 2009

i wasn't born with enough middle fingers

um i forget which marilyn manson song that's from, but there ya go.

13 hours at work today. im exhausted. also, i realized on the drive home that i didnt mail amys bday card (and i left it at work on my desk. doh.)
at least its the weekend, though. so ready for rest and some decompressing time.
hope everyone else had a better day.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

(not really) essential viewing

Kirk's comment below (that he has never seen Gremlins), coupled with the fact that yesterday I discovered that Steph has never seen Die Hard ( I KNOW!!!), got me thinking of movies that I've not seen (harder to come up with a list then you'd figure).

There seem to be certain films that you just figure everyone has seen, but it turns out that, of course, isn't the case.

Anyway. Here are some of mine:

The Godfather (any of them)
Office Space
Deliverance
pretty much every Woody Allen film ever

Like I said, coming up with a list of things I've not seen is sorta difficult. ALso, it isn't like these are necessarily things I don't want to see (except for the Woody Allen movies. I just don't like his humor), just that I haven't gotten around to watching them.

Are there any films you either haven't seen (and other people think you should/need to) or movies that you (somehow) know that I haven't seen but think I should? If so, discuss!

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Which is the better Christmas movie: Gremlins or Die Hard?

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

it's the most wonderful time of the year

collapsing porches, stray cats being adopted, working, putting up the xmas tree, counting down days, packing up boxes, worrying about the van's engine, having too many ideas to blog (and not the time nor the energy nor the computer-power to do them), holding a drooly baby, needing a haircut, and of course, starving.

gotta love this month, and it's only the 1st day.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

blog post

Just a collection of random stuff.

Today at work was a good day. I had lunch! And now I have four days off, which will come in handy before the week of unprecedented busy-ness.

I also saw my old supervisor, Tina. She was back in town for Thanksgiving, and stopped by the station to visit for a bit. It was great to see her again. She might just be moving back to Las Vegas, if she can get a job here. Things haven't worked out too well for her since her move to Oregon. Hard to believe that that was four years ago already. Time flies.

I picked up Seasons 1, 2 and 3 of Lost from the library, which was sorta dumb, because how in the world am I going to watch all those before they're due back? Especially since we're going out of town for the next two days? Oh well. Maybe if I put the subtitles on, and watch them at double speed... (heh. then they'd have to enter the numbers every 54 minutes. [/season2dorkhumor])

Silas likes Jeopardy!, but the Daily Double noise always startles him. So sad. (And, yes, slightly amusing. But mostly sad.)

I just realized that yesterday was my 14.5 year mark at the station. Fourteen and a half years. Wow.

Speaking of time going by too quickly, it's going to be 2010 soon. No more oughts. :(
This decade was one blurry one. It went by much faster than the 90s did. And also not fast enough.

I had more I originally was going to blog, but it's lost to the ages now. Very likely wasn't important or interesting anyway.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Haiku Review: Quarantine

Camcorder gimmick
works, to an extent. But, since
you don't care about...

...the characters, most
of the time I spent rooting
for the zombie-folk.

Haiku Review: The Monster Squad

I wanted to still
enjoy this (loved it as a
kid) but...it's just bad.

What's sad is, it has
potential. It could have been
a timeless classic...

...but instead, it's just
a lazy Goonies knock-off.
It's a shame, really.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - Pilot, Part 1

Lost begins with a
creepy wind-chime theme song, which
sets the mood nicely.

We start the show with
a closeup of an eyeball.
Hey! It's Matthew Fox!

He's lying on the
ground in a jungle. He hears
rustling. It's a dog.

A golden lab, to
be precise. The dog darts off,
and the guy stands up.

He's mildly hurt,
but at least he's got vodka
in his pocket. Yay!

He runs through the trees
(one of which grows sneakers) and
winds up on a beach.

It's a gorgeous beach,
except for the plane wreckage
and screaming people.

Obviously there
was a plane crash. Lots of
chaos and screaming.

As Matthew Fox looks
around, we see a guy who
yells in Korean...

...a Hobbit who looks
dazed and confused walk by the
plane's whirring engine...

...a black guy who is
yelling "Walt!!" repeatedly
(we hear it twice here)...

...a young blond woman
who is simply screaming at
the top of her lungs...

...and a guy who is
pinned under a piece of the
plane. He goes to help.

The guy's got bloodied
leg. Fox uses his tie as a
tourniquet, and then...

...runs over to help
a woman who is having
contractions. Don't! Can't!

She's eight months along,
but before we can find out
more, Gary Troup dies.

What a way to go!
He gets sucked into the plane's
turbine, which goes boom.

Fox asks a big guy
to stay near Preg-o and call
him if labor starts.

Big guy asks his name,
and we learn it is "Jack!" So
now we do know jack.

Jack approaches a
young guy doing CPR
on a black woman.

Jack admonishes
him for doing it wrong. He
says he's a lifeguard.

Jack's all, "Well, you're the
worst lifeguard I've met today!"
and begins CPR.

Lifeguard suggests a
pen to do a trach on her,
then goes to find one.

Jack revives her, then
has to race back to Preg-o
to save her. Again.

Because the plane's wing
was about to fall on her
and that other guy.

Once he's made sure that
they're both okay, he tells the
big guy to stay there.

He responds, "Dude, I'm
not going anywhere." Yay!
The first Lost 'Dude'!

World's Worst Lifeguard comes
back with, like, eight pens and he
hands them to Jack. Heh.

Jack rummages through
some luggage, finds thread, goes to
the jungle alone.

He removes his shirt,
revealing his scratched up back
and also, tattoos.

Jack can't reach his back
(so there is something he can't
do!). But here's someone!

A brunette woman
rubbing her wrist has shown up.
Jack asks if she sews.

She has. Jack asks if
she'll sew up his back. She says
'yes', but seems squeamish.

As the sun sets, we
see: Big Guy sorting food, a
bald guy just sitting...

...World's Worst Lifeguard walks
by with a cell phone, but he
gets no reception.

We meet Charlie (he's
the Hobbit) who helps Sayid
with building a fire.

Jack and the brunette
are still sewing him up (jeez!
it has been hours, guys!)

Jack tells a story
about how when he was a
surgeon, he goofed up...

...and cut a girl's dural
sack. He was terrified, but
he counted to five...

...and then he was good.
Jack can control his fear, you
see. Jack is a douche.

The woman says if
it had been her, she would have
run for the door. (HA!!)

Jack says, "That's not true.
You're not running now." Give her
time, Jack. Give her time.

Night time! Charlie is
writing FATE on his bandaged
fingers, Sayid says...

..."Where's the rescue?" The
blond who was screaming is now
painting her toenails.

World's Worst Lifeguard sits
next to her, offers candy.
She refuses, since...

...according to her,
rescue is coming. She'll eat
on the rescue boat.

Her name, by the way,
is Shannon. We still don't know
Lifeguard's real name, though.

Big guy gives food to
Preg-o, who says contractions
have, for the time, stopped.

Black guy looks over
a young black boy, asks if he's
warm enough. Kid nods.

Korean man tells
the woman he's with they need
to stay together.

Jack looks over an
injured man. Brunette asks "Will
he live?" Jack: "Know him?"

Spoiler! She knows him!
But she simply says she sat
near him on the plane.

Jack recalls some of
the flight: they hit turbulence,
and then he blacked out.

THe brunette did not.
She knew the tail section fell
off, as did the front.

Jack wants to find the
cockpit, cuz there might be a
transceiver inside.

Brunette wants to go
with him. Jack finally asks
for her name. "I'm Kate."

Seriously? They
didn't introduce themselves
until just now? Huh.

Suddenly there's a
weird metallic clanky sound
as lots of trees move...

...well, not so much move
as get pushed around. Something
large and powerful...

...is causing this scene,
which is really quite creepy.
The survivors look...

...toward the jungle
with a mix of confusion
and fear. The kid asks...

..."Is that Vincent?" The
black guy answers, "No. That's not
Vincent." (or is it??)

Charlie utters an
understated, sarcastic,
funny: "Terrific."

And with that we go
to the first commercial break.
This show is awesome.

Hey! Jack's on a plane!
That sure was a quick rescue!
Should have shown it, though.

Jack begins talking
to the black woman he saved.
Then, there's turbulence.

Again? Jeez. These guys
have the worst luck when it comes
to flying in planes.

Cut back to the beach,
and we see that previous
scene was a flashback.

Folks on the beach
are discussing the "monster".
(So are folks online!)

Jack is prepping to
go look for the cockpit. Kate
insists she's coming.

She'll need better shoes,
though. Fortunately, there are
plenty of corpses.

And they don't need shoes.
So. Kate looks for shoes that fit.
And gets a look from...

...a bald man (Terry
O' Quinn!) who smiles at her while
eating an orange.

It's hilarious,
but Kate seems disturbed by it.
Jeez, Kate, lighten up.

Charlie decides he
wants to tag along with Jack
and Kate. Off they go!

On the trek in the
woods, we learn Charlie was in
a band called Drive Shaft.

He sings a bit of
one of their hit songs, called "You
All Everybody!"

When a rain storm comes
from out of nowhere, people
on the beach scramble...

...except for Mr.
Orange Peel, who sits in the
rain, arms extended.

The trio has found
the front part of the plane. They
make their way inside.

Jack and Kate get to
the cockpit door, which is locked.
Dr. Jack breaks in.

Pilot is still in
his seat, presumably dead.
But, no! He's alive!

He asks how many
people survived the crash. Jack
tells him: forty-eight.

"How long has it been?"
the pilot wants to know. Jack
tells him: sixteen hours.

The pilot then gives
Jack and Kate (Charlie's not there)
some really bad news:

Turns out, during the
flight, the radio went out.
They turned around, and...

...by the time they hit
the turbulence, they were way
off course. Rescue crews...

...will be looking for
them in the wrong part of the
world. That can't be good.

Also not good? There
are sounds of the "monster" near.
We see it's shadow.

And then, the pilot
gets pulled out of the freaking
window!! Yoink! He's gone.

The trio run like
hell through the jungle while the
monster pursues them.

Charlie gets his foot
caught in a vine. Jack goes back
to save him. Kate screams.

She hides, alone, and
starts to count to five. I don't
think it's working, though.

Charlie finds Kate, but
Jack isn't with him. Kate says
they have to go back.

They find the pilot's
pin lying in a puddle.
Jack arrives there, too.

He managed to get
away from the monster, but
he didn't see it.

Charlie points above
them, to where the pilot's dead
corpse lies in the trees.

Charlie asks "How does
something like that happen?" And
with that, this ep. ends.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

why do i always forget about the monkeywrench when making plans?

so, as Steph mentioned, our main computer died, thus leaving us with a sort of zombie/Frankenstein's monster type of computer deal in order to get online.

which somewhat dampens my plans of typing up my haikus for Lost. (Ironically, I have the Pilot (part 1) episode halfway done. I was working on it on Sunday, and had planned on finishing it up, but then the computer and universe had other plans.)I would instead type up the haikus at work and then publish them all later, but the thing is that work has been INSANELY busy lately, so I don't have time to do it there. And then when I get home I'm too damn exhausted to do anything.

Eh. Enough whining. It'll happen. Or it won't.

In other news, Silas is going to be six months on Tuesday. How the hell did that happen?

Speaking of time passing quickly - two months (LESS!!), and we will be out of this house, and into a (presumably) better one. 50 days, people. Fifty. I can. Not. Wait.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Mommy, why does everybody have a bomb?

("1999" by Prince)

So early this morning - around ten after midnight, actually - there was a very strong knock on the door.

Turns out, it was two Las Vegas Metro Police officers, who informed us that we needed to evacuate our house because they had found an "explosive device" in the park behind our home.

I grabbed Irina (who was still sleeping at that point) and Saren and Harper began getting their shoes on while Steph grabbed Silas. At one point, one of the officers asked me how many people were in the residence, and I was still half asleep and answered, "Five." I did a quick (or somewhat slowed) mental count and corrected myself, "I mean six." Gah. Talk about a Homer moment.

The plan, according to the cops, was to have the neighborhood go down to the Wal-mart parking lot, where some buses would be ordered for us all to sit in and wait.

They said that we could drive our van down if we wanted to, and we were going to do that, but it turns out that Silas' car seat cover was not put together at the time, and we didn't know if we had the time to put it together, so we just opted to walk the short distance down to Wal-mart.

As we were walking down the street, looking at all the police and fire vehicles littering the road, we noticed that no other neighbors were making the exodus. It felt very weird. Almost like a really elaborate prank against us. (Surely that feeling was a combination of shock and lack of sleep, though)

We got to Wal-mart, and there was nobody else there, either. Or at least, nobody that we could tell was from our neighborhood. The greeter saw us and asked if we needed a shopping cart. (Heh) We explained the situation to her, and she offered us some seats at the McDonald's inside the store (and also told us of the time she was working at another Wal-mart where a gas station exploded so they evacuated that neighborhood).
The greeter, a few minutes later, came by and told us that she was going to treat us to anything we wanted from McDonald's, in case we were hungry. The girls (and I) did want a tiny snack, so even though we both refused her kindness at first, she insisted, so we ordered a few cheeseburgers, some nuggets, and 2 drinks.
The food helped make the time go a little quicker.

I went outside to check to see where the bus was, and saw another woman who had been evacuated. She said that the person living next to her had been picked up by a family member, but she was just waiting for the bus like we were. I told her to come inside the Wal-mart where it was warmer. A police officer drove up at that point and informed us that the bus would be there within ten minutes.

I asked him if he knew how long it would be until we could return to our homes. He didn't know, but said it could take up to 3 hours. Ugh.

I went back inside, and told the family the deal.

Then, about ten minutes later, the bus did show up. We boarded, as well as a rather cranky old woman who is one of our neighbors, and we all sat on the bus for approximately 30-40 minutes. Well, Irina played. She was having a grand ol' time. :)

At 1:25am, the police officer I had seen earlier came on board the bus, telling us that it would be about another 20-25 minutes until we could go home. Hooray!

At around 1:50, we were told we could go home. We made the short walk back to the house, wondering if any of the cops would tell us what happened (most of them were already getting back into their cars and leaving). We did stop one really young officer who was removing the yellow police tape as we passed, "What was it?"

He chuckled and said somewhat embarrassed, "It was a smoking bong."

A bong?

Not a bomb?

Not a buh-- ?[/Airplane]

Nope. A bong. *sigh* Well, at least we were all safe and sound back in our house, and able to get some sleep. Although I have to admit that I could easily use a few more hours.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Bustin' makes me feel good



Happy Halloween!!

Just got back from trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. Very worn out. Now the girls are going through their candy.

We have to go back!

Way back at the beginning of June, I mentioned that I would get around to rewatching and reviewing (in Haiku form) all the previous episodes of Lost.
Cut to 5 months later, and I've done none! Woo!

And Season 6 begins in January.

Which means I've got roughly three months to get a lot of viewing and typing done. Which also means next few word clouds are going to feature a lot of "Jack" "Kate" and probably "Locke". Ah, Lost.

I just hope that I can find the time to get around to doing it all. Fortunately, the universe is giving me an extra hour this weekend, so it seems someone wants it to happen. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make a stop at hulu.com.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Siren song

Dear musicians,

I'd say that 88% of my music listening life is done inside a moving vehicle. So, putting sirens, or music that sounds like emergency sirens, in your songs? Not really that cool.

Please stop.

Thanks!

P@

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I'M NOT YELLING

DESPITE WHAT INTERNET PROTOCOL SAYS ABOUT ALL CAPS, I'M NOT CURRENTLY EXPRESSING MYSELF AS YELLING.

NOPE, TODAY IS JUST INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY!! WOO!!

(SOMETIMES, VERY RARELY, BUT JUST EVERY ONCE IN A GREAT WHILE, I LOVE THE INTERNET) <--THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN 'WHISPERED', BUT TODAY NOTHING IS LOWERCASE!!

Monday, October 19, 2009

7 years later

Today is my blogoversary!

Hard to believe it's been seven years since I joined blogger and started this web log.

I'm curious as to how small my reading audience has dwindled to, so, I'm doing a stalker roll call. If you are reading this blog, please leave a comment, even if it's simply the word verification.

I'm guessing the total number of comments will be... 11. (Unless a conversation starts in there, in which case it will be 14.)

Sunday, October 18, 2009

We could be heroes. Just for one day.

("Heroes" by David Bowie)

I had this story idea recently, where there is a virus (or maybe it's not a virus, but something controlled by, say, aliens? I don't know. a lot of the details haven't been worked out)
Anyway. This virus causes people to get superpowers. Particularly, the ones that Superman has (flight, super-speed, invulnerability, x-ray vision)...but only for 24 hours. After that amount of time has passed, the abilities would vanish, and move on to another person. So, if an infected individual was flying 30,000 feet in the air when their time was up...they'd have a really bad day.

Imagine the chaos that would cause, though. If just ONE random person in the world had super powers...for only a day.

And the next person to obtain the powers is completely random. One day it could be a 65 year old grandmother in Miami, Florida, and once she lost her powers, it would be a 4 year old boy in Ibra, Oman.

The problem with the story is ...I don't have a story. I have the idea, which is kinda cool, and might make for an interesting comic book or movie (or even a story to read) but there's no ..plot. It's just an idea at this point. I mean, I guess the story could be about how people react to such an occurrence and/or how people who are infected react or use their abilities (or even how people who WERE infected deal with the aftermath of NOT having the power anymore), but where is it going beyond that?

And besides, doing all that writing sounds like work. And I'm lazy.

So, instead, I started thinking, "what would I do if I had Superman's powers for a day?"

And here's what I came up with:

I would definitely sleep in, because, dude, why wake up early if I can get to work in like 2 seconds?

Actually, why go to work at all? I think I'd call in sick that day.

And then I'd fly they family (one at a time? Or maybe I'd just carry the entire family in the van) over to Disneyland.

Oh, and then I'd be sure to remove all nuclear weaponry from the planet (yes, I know it wouldn't stop the problem, because people can create more, but it would make the world [temporarily] safer, at least)

I'd probably fly to Australia, just to see it.

I'd redistribute food. There's hundreds of thousands of tons of food that goes wasted here everyday. I'd take some of that over to, say, India, and allow them to dine.

I'd stop crimes, of course. That would be fun. I don't know that I'd stop any robberies, but murders? It would be sweet to jump in front of a bullet or two. Just to see reactions.

I'd deliver the mail. And tell all the postal workers to take the day off.

Oh, and hey, I could play Santa, couldn't I? Ha.

I'd blog about it all, of course.

And then, at the end of the day, I'd have to make sure I flew around the world backwards fast enough to turn time back, so that I wouldn't lose my ability. ;)

So. What would you do with superpowers for a day?

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Haiku Review: Batman Begins

Gotham is scared. Crime
is everywhere. A hero
is what this town needs.

Bruce becomes Batman.
Something for the criminals
of Gotham to fear.

This Batman kicks ass,
because he trained with ninjas.
An epic reboot.

Haiku Review: National Treasure: Book of Secrets

Historical and
geographical facts have
no place in this film.

But it's a lot of
fun, if you can overlook
those mind-numbing goofs.

Haiku Review: A Time to Kill

When it comes to Law,
Justice, Revenge and Murder,
nothing's Black and White

Haiku Review: Coraline

Other Mother sees
everything, even with her
button eyes. Creepy!

Haiku Review: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Snape kills Dumbledore!
We see (some) Voldemort's past.
Love is in the air.

Works well in print, but
when translated to the screen,
the magic is lost.

Haiku Review: Charlie Bartlett

Being popular
is the most important thing
while in high school

Haiku Review: Knowing

I went in knowing
that this movie would be bad.
I hate being right.

"THE CAVES WON'T SAVE US!!"
And, "You want some of this?!?" Oh,
Nic Cage. Never change.

Haiku Review: Crime Spree

Group of French thieves steal
from the American mob.
Wackiness ensues.

Add in one corrupt
FBI agent and some
street gangs, you get laughs.

Well, not laugh out loud
funny, but it's amusing,
and it held my interest.

Haiku Review: Death at a Funeral

Maybe 10 minutes
from this whole film was funny.
Not great comedy.

Haiku Review: Hamlet 2

"Rock me, rock me, rock
me, sexy Jesus." "Oh my
GOD, writing is hard!!"

Haiku Review: Terminator Salvation

A Terminator
film without time travel or
(real life) Arnie? Huh.

So many plot holes!!
But fancy explosions help
keep you distracted.

There was plenty in
this one to bitch about, but
still better than 3.

Was it as good as
1 or 2? No. Of course not.
It was ...adequate.

I'm easy to please.
Just give me killer robots
who appear human.

Haiku Review: Oliver!

Ahh, Oliver!, that
heartwarming musical that's
all about, um, orphans.

Songs, glorious songs!
Please, sirs, can we have some more?
They were all lovely.

Haiku Review: The Orphanage

Atmospheric ghost
story that is both sad and
beautiful. Well done.

Haiku Review: Grease 2

Michelle Pfeiffer wants
a coo-ooh-ooh-ool rider.
Who's that guy? Michael!

Plenty of great and
cheesy songs, elaborate
dance numbers abound.

It does get tired
by the end, but the first two-
thirds are pretty fun.

Haiku Review: Cry-Baby

I guess I don't "get"
John Waters films, because this
film bored me to tears.

Johnny Depp is good
and there are some moments that
shine, but mostly - meh.

It felt like it was,
I don't know, trying too hard
to be funny, cool.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Temperature in Hell - 33 degrees

Not quite frozen over. But close.

Yep. I've gone and joined Facebook.

Blame Steph. I simply wanted to play Bejeweled Blitz, but she wouldn't let me use her account.

So, yeah. I've joined the hordes of facebookers. But, on the bright side, still not on twitter, and I've still never watched American Idol. So I'm not a complete sell out.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

June's word cloud is here.

Hard to believe that aught-nine is half way over. (So is the year half empty or half full? Or just...half?

Speaking of "half", I've recently decided that you should be able to use "half" as an adjective modifier type...thing.
Example? Something can be meaningless or meaningful, but what if it's inbetween? Then, you would say that it's meaninghalf.

....yeah. I don't really expect that to catch on. Although it would be wonderhalf if it did.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Haiku Review: Ghost Town

Socially inept
dentist hates people, learns that
ghosts aren't much better.

Rom-coms mostly suck.
I was surprised by how much
I enjoyed Ghost Town.

Lots of laughs, not too
much sap. Overall a fun
2 hour distraction.

Haiku Review: Muriel's Wedding

While her home life sucks,
("You're terrible, Muriel!")
at least there's ABBA.

And her "friends" suck, too.
("Let her finish her Orgasm.")
But there's still ABBA.

Muriel learns that
happiness comes from being
yourself. (And ABBA)

Haiku Review: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem

A requiem is
a song for the dead, which is
fitting for this crap.

This garbage managed
to annihilate two great
franchises at once.

For a horror flick
to work properly, you need
to care, somewhat, for...

...at least one of the
characters. I didn't. I
doubt the writers did.

At the end, when the
nukes went off, killing the whole
town, I felt nothing.

Nothing but relief
that the torture of this film
was finally done.

Haiku Review: Gremlins 2: The New Batch

The first Gremlins was
funny, scary. A classic.
This one? Kinda sucked.

The problem? They went
overboard with the jokes. And
they weren't funny jokes.

It was just one gag
after another, with no
real plot or story.

Glover's character
was fun, as was the brainy
Gremlin. Not much else.

silas is 1 month old today. time flies!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Sweet Zombie Jesus!

First, the good news, everyone: Futurama is going to return!! Starting in 2010, Comedy Central will be airing brand new episodes (26, in fact) of Futurama! Hooray for Zoidberg!!

(Of course, this means that we might have to, you know, subscribe to cable. But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.)

Second, this Saturday is June 13th, which means it's time for the third annual "Blog Like It's the End of the World" experiment. Basically, people sign up to make blog posts wherein they pretend that the undead have risen, and are attacking the real world.
I've participated in the first two years, and they were fun. ...but I don't know if I want to make it a three-peat. I'm ...kinda just not feeling it. [shrug] I don't know. I suppose I have (less than) 48 hours to decide. I do know that this type of thing is perfect for Twitter. But, the thing is, I don't have a Twitter account, and I probably never will. Mostly because I feel that my blog is adequate, and also, Twitter is too popular. (Heh. I'm lame that way.) Also, it seems like Twitter is too much work to maintain. And, I dislike saying/typing Twitter, which I've typed too many times now.
But if I did use that program, BLITEOTW would totally be a good use for it. Quick updates about zombies attacking? Awesomeness.
Anyway, if anyone else does feel like signing up for zombiefied blogging this Saturday, here's the site to sign up at.

Thirdly, here's the latest Church Sign Wisdom:

GREAT IS THE LORD
AND GREATLY TO
BE PRAISED


and

GOD INHABITS
THE PRAISE
OF HIS PEOPLE


I dont' really have anything snarky to say about these. But it does make me wonder why god seems to constantly want/need to be praised. I mean, sure, if there's some Creator of the Universe, it would be cool to pass along one's gratitude. But the Christian God seems to...I don't know, have like low self-esteem or something.

Haiku Review: Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

Bill and Ted's sequel
doesn't quite live up to the
original one.

It starts off strong, with
the Bill and Ted cyborgs, but
once the duo die...

...the scenes in hell go
on for too long, and the film
loses it's pacing.

It's not a bad film,
per se, just not as funny
or fun as the first.

To make up for that,
God gave rock and roll to you.
...and to everyone.

Haiku Review: Slumdog Millionaire

Growing up in the
slums of India provides
Jamal with answers.

Which is great, even
though he's not there for the cash.
He seeks his true love.

They find each other,
because it is written. That's
my final answer.

Then, the absolute
best end credit sequence. How
can you not love this?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - The Incident, Part 2

Locke and the Others
get to the statue's foot, which
is where Jacob lives.

FlashJack! During a
surgery, Jack screws up, starts
to panic. But then...

...Christian tells his son,
"Calm down. Count to five. Drink up."
(Well, not that last one.)

But he does tell Jack
"If you can't do this, I will.
So man the eff up."

Jack does, then goes to
the vending machine to get
an Apollo bar.

But this just ain't Jack's
day. The candy bar get struck.
Frustrated, Jack leaves.

He finds Christian in
the hallway and says, "Hey dad,
why'd you call me out?"

"Silly Jack," replies
Christian. "You are your own worst
enemy. See ya!"

As he leaves, Jacob
shows up with two candy bars.
He hands one to Jack.

As he touches Jack,
he says, "It just needed a
push." Subtle, writers!

Back on the Island,
Sawyer has asked to talk with
Jack for five minutes.

Jack: "Well, Sayid is
mortally wounded back here.
But.... okay. Let's chat."

Sawyer says, "Look, Jack,
my parents died when I was
eight. ...which was last year.

"I could have changed the
past." "Why didn't you?" asks Jack.
"What happened, happened."

"No, no, no," says Jack.
"Just nuke the energy thing,
and BLAM! Past is changed!"

"Jesus, doc. What's so
bad in the future that you
need to blow it up?"

"Would you believe... it's
because Kate and I are no
longer together?"

Really, show? Really?!?!
Sawyer can't seem to believe
it either, and so...

...because they're both male,
and stubborn, they resort to
punching each other.

James is winning the
brawl (he kicked Jack in the balls!!),
but then Juliet...

...says, "Jack is right." Um.
Is this brain damage disease
infecting them all??

Juliet's flashback
is brief, and Jacob-less. Strange.
It's when her folks split.

In the "present", she
tells James she is okay with
blowing up the past...

...because if she and
Sawyer never meet, then she
won't have to lose him.

Because she has seen
the way he's looked at "Freckles"
Aw. Poor Juliet.

At the Swan site, the
Dharma crew is drilling, and
of course, getting guns.

Jack, Kate reminisce
about first time they met, which
is in 30 years.

They discuss Aaron,
and setting things right for him.
Kate is now on board.

Which is good, because
the Incident is going
to happen quite soon.

Flashback for Hurley!
He gets released from jail and
gets in a cab with...

...Jacob! But, of course!
He tells Hurley what flight to
be on to go back.

But he tells Hurley
it's his choice if he wants to
go back or not. Hmmm.

He leaves a guitar
case with Hugo, saying that,
"It's not my guitar."

At Swan site, Sayid
has the bomb ready to go.
He gives it to Jack.

Jack says this will save
him, to which Sayid responds,
"Nothing can save me."

At the statue, Locke
and Ben follow Richard in
a secret passage.

Once Richard opens
a hidden door, he returns
to the beach alone.

Locke hands Ben a large
knife. Ben looks petrified for
the first time ever.

In the '70's,
at the Swan construction site,
Miles sees fit to ask...

..."what if dropping the
bomb is what causes what you're
trying to prevent?"

This is met with a
bunch of blank stares. "So glad you've
thought this plan through, guys."

But it's too late to
turn back now, since: the gang is
shooting at hippies...

...hippies are shooting
at the gang. They get to the
spot where they're drilling.

Jack drops the bomb core
into the deep, dark hole and
we all hold our breath.

Moments pass. Jack's brain
is currently channeling
Marvin the Martian:

"Where is the ka-boom?
There's supposed to be an earth-
shattering ka-boom!"

Soon, though, something starts
to happen. There's a rumbling
from deep in the hole.

All things metallic
at the construction site start
flying to the hole.

Dr. Chang's hand gets
crushed by some equipment. Miles
goes to help his dad.

A crane falls over
and Phil, one of the Dharma
jerks, gets impaled. Yay!

Jack, who often is
a tool, gets hit in the head
with a toolbox. HA!!

Ha ha ha!!! Sorry.
I shouldn't laugh, but, my god
it was funny. Look!

No more laughing now.
Juliet is in danger!
She's wrapped up in chains...

...that begin to drag
her down toward the hole. James
grabs her arms and pulls.

James is yelling, "Don't
let go!" Juliet says she
loves him, can't hold on.

Helplessly, Sawyer
watches Juliet fall to
her untimely death.

The show goes to a
commercial break, and I have
something in my eye.

Ilana shows up
at the base of the statue.
She asks for Richard.

Well, she really asks
for "Ricardus", which goes to
show how old he is.

She asks, "What lies in
the shadow of the statue?"
and Richard answers...

...in Latin. Thank god
we have the internet to
translate these things, yes?

The answer Richard
gave was, "He who will protect
(or save) us all." Hmmm.

Satisfied with this
response, Ilana opens
the box, revealing...

...a still very dead
John Locke. Which means the Locke in
the statue... uh-oh.

Inside the statue,
Jacob greets "Locke" by saying,
"You found your loophole."

"Locke" confirms this, adds,
"You have no idea what I've
gone through to be here."

Ben asks if Locke and
Jacob have met before. "Locke"
tells Ben that they have.

He then urges Ben
to do what he was asked to.
"Ben, you have a choice"...

...so says Jacob. Ben
asks, "What choice?" Jacob says, "You
can do what he asked...

...or you can just go."
But Ben is pretty peeved that
Jacob has ignored...

...him for so many years
after his devotion, yet
he'll see John, no prob.

Ben whines, "What about
me? It isn't fair! I've had
enough, want my share!"

Then Jacob says the
worst thing he possibly could:
"What about you?" Ben...

...stabs Jacob two times.
With his dying breath, Jacob
warns "Locke": "They're coming."

"Locke" looks upset at
this, then kicks Jacob's body
into the fire pit.

The Swan site has built
up a lot of energy
and is gonna blow.

So those still alive
start to run from the site as
fast as they can, but...

...at the bottom of
the hole, Juliet, wounded,
but alive, wakes up.

Lying beside her
is Jughead's core and a rock.
She picks up the rock...

...and bangs it against
the bomb's core, crying as she
does. It takes eight hits...

...before there's a flash
of white, ending the show 'til
winter of next year.

So the show ended
with a bang - literally.
What did you all think?

Your theories, questions,
speculation, wish lists and
feedback are welcome.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

1 year, 1 week, and 1 day

Years ago, I heard the song "My Chinchilla" by the band Cub. (here's the video!)



Anyway. After hearing that, first I was all, "What the hell is a chinchilla?" Then, after finding out what they are, I decided, I WANT ONE!


So. About five years ago, we were at a pet store, and we passed the chinchilla cages, and Steph (jokingly?) said that she would get me a chinchilla for my 35th birthday.
I've reminded her of this promise off and on for the past five years, although now she is saying that it was a joke, and that she won't be getting me the cutest pet in the world next year.
I have one year, one week, and one day to wear her down. Oh, and to come up with a name.

Haiku Review: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Bill and Ted was most
educational! I learned
many awesome things!

Like: Joan of Arc was
not Noah's wife! San Dimas
High school football rules!!

Bill's step-mom is cute.
(Shut up, Ted!) Napoleon
loved the water slides.

Strange things are afoot
at the Circle K. And, of
course, most important:

"Be excellent to
each other, and party on,
dudes!" Words to live by.

Haiku Review: Bicentennial Man

Based on Asimov's
story, Robin Williams plays
robot seeking love.

Not sure who this was
aimed at. Too sad (and long) for
kids, the "jokes" fall flat.

Any sympathy
for the robot's struggle to
find humanity...

...is lost in the crap
writing, horrid pacing, and
syrupy music.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - The Incident, Part 1

This first scene is, in
retrospect, one of the most
important - ever.

So pay attention!
All right, here we go. We start
with a guy.... weaving.

So this Dream Weaver
goes out to the beach, and he's
caught a red herring!

He's joined by "Man
#2", which is what the
credits list him as.

Dream Weaver offers
Man #2 some herring
he says he just ate.

They sit on the beach
together, watching a ship
(the Black Rock?) approach.

It should be noted
Dream Weaver has light hair, while
Man number 2, dark.

That may mean nothing
but this is Lost, which loves black-
white symbolism

Warning!! Important
dialogue coming up!! I'll
quote (near) verbatim

"I take it," says Dream
Weaver, "You're here 'cause of the
ship." Man 2: "I am."

Man 2 continues,
"How did they find the Island?"
"You'll have to ask them."

"You brought them here. You
are trying to prove me wrong."
"You are wrong, my friend."

"Am I? They come. They
fight. They destroy. They corrupt.
Always ends the same."

"It only ends once.
Anything that happens 'fore
that is just progress."

"Do you have any
idea how much I wanna
kill you?" Man 2 asks.

Dream Weaver says, "Yes."
Man 2: "One of these days I'll
find a loophole, friend."

"Well, when you do, I'll
be right here." "Nice talking with
you, Jacob." .... JACOB!?!!

Young Kate is about
to begin her life of crime
she steals a lunch box

It's a New Kids on
the Block lunch box, which means that
Kate was hangin' tough.

But Kate's not real good
at crime. She gets caught stealing
(once, when she was five eight)

However, before
the store owner can call Kate's
folks, Jacob (!!!) steps in.

Jacob offers to
buy the lunch box. He's sure that
Kate's got the right stuff.

He asks Kate if she'll
steal again. She says no. He
boops her nose. "Be good."

In the present/past
Kate tells James and Juliet
how Jack has a bomb.

Sawyer is rather
cavalier about Jack's plan
to blow up the past.

"Jack's got a bomb, good
for Jack." Um. James? It's Jack. With
a nuclear bomb.

Perhaps Juliet
should check to see if Sawyer
suffered brain damage.

Locke, meanwhile, is in
full-on leader mode, leading
his group to Jacob.

Richard Alpert tells
Locke "I've never seen someone
come back from the dead."

Locke says in return
he's never seen someone who
doesn't age. Touché.

Richard says he's that
way due to Jacob. Locke says
well let's go thank him.

Bram and Ilana
show Frank what's in the box. Frank
sighs, "Terrific." Heh.

Young James is writing
the letter to the man he
blames for his folks' deaths.

His pen runs out of
ink, but Jacob is there to
help him continue.

He hands James a pen
says he's sorry for his loss.
James writes his letter.

James, Kate, Juliet
hijack the sub so they can
go back and stop Jack.

Jack and Sayid are
ready to remove Jughead's
core, using Dan's notes.

Richard decides that
Eloise shouldn't be this
close to a bomb, so...

...He knocks Eloise
out and drags her away, but
first asks about Locke.

Jack tells him, "Don't give
up on Locke." ..wait. Jack said that
about John Locke?? Huh.

Speaking of John, he's
just told Ben that Ben's the one
who will kill Jacob.

If you think you're shocked,
you should see Benjamin's face.
It's "WHAT THE!?!?!" defined.

In flashback, we see
Jacob was there when Sayid
watched Nadia die.

At this point, I had
to ask, is Jacob fate? Or
is he weaving it?

Either way, Jacob
does touch Sayid, in cast that's
important later.

On the Island, Jack
and Sayid carry the bomb
through the tunnels and...

...right in the middle
of Dharmaville, while all the
hippies excavate.

But our duo need
to get Jughead to the Swan
site! What can they do?

They put on Dharma
jumpsuits, blending right in, and
then Ben's dad spots them.

Bullets start flying
(Man, these guys are violent
for hippies, aren't they?)

Sayid tries to warn
Ben's dad not to shoot since he's
carrying a nuke.

But Mr. Linus
is all, "You shot my son!!" BLAM!!
Gut shot for Sayid!

I believe this makes
Sayid the 15th person
we've seen get gut shot.

Things look grim for the
guys, but then Hurley (and friends)
arrive in the van.

They jump inside and
race from the gun play! Time for
a commercial break.

James, Juliet, Kate
wash ashore and ...dude. Dude! DUDE!!
Vincent is there!! Dude!!

And so are Rose and
Bernard!! (Although Bernard has
not aged well.) But still!

All those weeks we asked
"Where are Rose and Bernard and
Vincent too?" paid off.

The trio have spent
the last 3 years hiding out,
enjoying nature.

They're done with the whole
Dharma drama-rama and
the love quad from hell.

The Dharma group could
learn a thing or two from these
guys. I'm just sayin'.

But, taking a break
from the plot only works with
minor characters.

So, James, Kate, and Jules
continue on their mission
to find and stop Jack.

Flashback! Ilana
is in a hospital with
her face bandaged up.

And, hey! Jacob is
there, because he's in every
flashback now, I guess.

Anyway, Jacob
knows Ilana. Asks her to
help him. She says yes.

Interestingly,
Jacob doesn't touch her and
he's wearing black gloves.

Jack tells Hurley to
get to the Swan site so that
he can "save" Sayid.

Ilana and her
crew have found Jacob's cabin,
but they are alarmed.

Jacob's not there, and
hasn't been for some time. Plus,
outside the cabin...

...the ring of ash has
been disturbed. The circle has
been broken. So they...

...burn the cabin down,
despite Frank's warnings about
forest fires. Heh.

Oh, hey, flashback time.
Jacob is reading a book
when John Locke drops in.

Jacob is the first
one to get to Locke after
his fall. He touched Locke.

And John gasped for breath.
Now, did Jacob just give John
a resurrection?

Or did his touch make
John Locke paralyzed? Or both?
Or neither? Oh, Lost.

Locke, Ben reminisce
about their time in the hatch
and Jacob's cabin.

Ben admits he has
never seen Jacob. He lied
back in Season 3.

He's also lied
in every episode he's
been in. Ben lies. Lots.

Anyway, Ben now
wants to know why Locke wants him
to murder Jacob.

Locke says, "Look. You're on
the Magic Healing Island
...and you got cancer.

"And you had to watch
your daughter get gunned down in
cold blood." (Ben's own fault.)

"And your reward for
listening to a man you've
never met? Exiled!!"

"So, really, Ben. Why
wouldn't you want to kill him?"
Ben considers this.

It's amusing how
Locke has manipulated
Ben for a change, huh?

Sun, meanwhile, has found
Aaron's old crib and Charlie's
old ring from Driveshaft.

We flashback to the
wedding of Jin and Sun. Lo
and behold, Jacob!!

He greets them at the
reception, touching them both,
wishing them the best.

Despite the fact he
spoke "excellent Korean",
Jin nor Sun knew him.

In the Dharma van
Sayid works to make Jughead
explode on contact.

Even when dying
from a gunshot wound, Sayid
does what he must. Wow.

Hurley stops the van
cuz Juliet, James, Kate are
in the road with guns.


Part 2 will be posted in a few days.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

May's word cloud.

Huh. Now that I don't have my story to write, I find myself not knowing what to blog about.

For the four people that actually read and care about the Lost Haikus, please note that I do plan on writing up the review/reacap of The Incident. And... I was thinking that since there is such a big hiatus before the final season of Lost begins, that I would go back and rewatch seasons 1 - 4, and write up haikus for them, too. No specific time table, just as I rewatch and write them up. That way, we'd have the entire series in seventeen syllable recaps. Yes, I'm a big ol' geek.

Also, for anyone that isn't up to date on the series, note that the entire series to date is viewable online at abc.com. Note also that abc.com's online player is one of the most heinous inventions of the 21st century. Thirdly note that eventually the series is supposed to be up at hulu.com, and hulu is way awesome.