Thursday, December 10, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - Pilot, Part 2

Jack, Kate, and Charlie
can't get the transciever to
work. Wait a second.

Did they just leave the
pilot's body up in the
trees? That's cold-blooded!

But I guess they do
have more pressing issues to
deal with currently.

As they make their way
through the jungle, Kate asks what
Charlie was doing...

...back on the plane, in
the bathroom. Charlie claims he
was "getting sick", but... Charlie's flashback
to the flight, we learn, in fact,
he was getting high.

So, really, he was
in the bathroom searching for
his heroin bag.

Meanwhile, on the beach,
Shannon is sunbathing. Still
waiting for rescue.

World's Worst Lifeguard asks
her to do something useful,
which seems unlikely.

Preg-o asks Shannon
if Lifeguard is her boyfriend.
No, he's her brother.

And, his name is Boone.
Yay! Character names! We still
don't find out Preg-o's.

Although she admits
she hasn't felt the baby
kick since yesterday.

Black dad is looking
for his son, Walt. Maybe he
should try asking the...

...passengers who, you
know, speak English? Instead of
the Korean folk.

Walt, meanwhile, is in
the jungle, calling out for
Vincent, his lost dog.

He discovers a
pair of handcuffs. That's somewhat
disturbing. His dad...

...finds him, scolds him for
not staying nearby, and is
freaked by the handcuffs.

beachside, tensions soar
as Sayid is being blamed
for crashing the plane

He's fighting with a
redneck (Sayid's words) until
Kate breaks up the fight.

Redneck thinks Sayid
was wearing the 'cuffs. Sayid
doesn't deny this.

Redneck is less than
thrilled to hear Sayid will
work on transceiver.

Redneck has penchant
for nicknames. Ironic, since
we don't learn his name.

But! We learn "Hurley"
is Big Guy's name. Plus, Sayid
fought in the Gulf War.

Transceiver gets fixed,
but Sayid wants to broadcast
from the mountaintop.

Kate's going with Sayid.
Shannon decides she's going.
Charlie and Boone, too.

Redneck opts to tag
along also, because he's
quote, "A complex guy".

Mr. Orange Peel
is setting up a game of
backgammon. Alone?

Along comes Walt, who
gets a history lesson:
Backgammon is old.

Really old. Older
than Jesus (and more famous!).
Two sides. Light... and dark.

Then, Mr. Orange
Peel asks Walt if he wants to
know a secret. Hmm.

The jungle group is
startled by a rustling of
trees. Uh-oh!! They run.

Except for Redneck,
whom Kate calls "Sawyer". He pulls
out a gun (!!) and shoots.

He fires many shots
at whatever is coming
toward him. It dies.

Turns out it was a
polar bear, giving us our
first "What the...??" moment.

The jungle crew have
lots of questions. Well, two. Where'd
the bear come from? And...

...where did Sawyer get
a gun? He says he found it
along with a badge...

...on the body of a
U.S. Marshal. This causes
Sayid to suspect...

...that Sawyer is who
was wearing the cuffs. Sawyer
doesn't deny this.

But, while they bicker,
Kate steals the gun from Sawyer,
and takes it apart.

Flashback to the plane.
Kate is the one wearing the
handcuffs. Nice plot twist!

Now Sayid gets a
signal. But they can't transmit,
cuz someone else is.

Shannon translates the
transmission, which says, "You are
fucked." (Pardon her French.)

The transmission is
from a woman who says "I'm
alone. It killed them."

It's been repeating
16 years. Man, these guys are
never getting saved.

Charlie ends the ep
by asking what we all want
to know: "Where are we?"


Amy said...

I keep forgetting to reply to these. Reading them is excellent, because it feels like watching the episodes for the first time again. Yay!

P@ said...

Originally, I was going to embed the eps at the bottom of the haiku from But there's no way that this computer could handle something like that. I mean, just typing hulu makes it nervous.
Maybe I'll go back and insert them in nce we get a new 'puter.