Some things never change

Buffybowl 9 is now one for the history books.

I don't want to spoil the ending, but it's not that difficult to guess.

It was another matchup between Adam and the Scoobies (we've decided that the way to determine which villain is used is the following: Whomever is Evil rolls one of the 6 sided die: 1 = Master, 2 = Judge, 3 = Mayor, 4 = Adam, 5 = Evil player rolls again, 6 = Good player rolls again).

I was Adam, while Saren and Harper were the Good guys - Saren controlled Useless Xander and Oz, while Harper was in charge of the female counterparts: Willow & Buffy.

It's difficult to get things done with Adam, since all your minions are vampires, and are allergic to sunlight. So, I foolishly brought Adam out, and was promptly surrounded by Willow, Xander and Oz.

I was able to kill off the witch, and Adam and Spike managed to get a few hits in on Buffy. She was, at one point, down to 3 hit points. Victory was within my grasp! I rolled Adam's 4 fight dice, and came up with three blanks and 1 stake.
Sigh.

Buffy finished Adam off in the next round.

Next year, I swear.

On the commercial front, there were several that were quite good. The Simpsons-Coke ad was an early favorite (even if it was for Coke), and I thought the beavers that played fiddles was pretty good.
We all liked the Human Bridge ad, and the Human Dolphins were funny as well, but the one that got the biggest laugh was the Dorito's ad with ...Tim. ("Tim loves Dorito's.") (Sadly, all the other Dorito's spots were painfully unamusing.)

The movies that were advertised: Prince of Persia: Sands of Time [get on DVD. maybe.]
The Wolfman [meh. DVD. Which is surprising. Steph even said, "You like wolfmen!" Which is true, but I'm just not feeling this one]
The Crazies [definitely rent]
Shutter Island [yup, want to see this one too.]
Robin Hood [pass]
and
Alice in Wonderland [looks....Tim Burtony. Which means we'll see it, of course, but while I'm excited about it, I also have reservations. There's only so much weird one can handle, you know, and I fear the scale may be broken on this one.]

Haiku Review: Lost - LA X

Looks like this season

is "It's A Wonderful Life:

Island's POV"

In other words, what

if the Island wasn't there

during the Pilot?

Well, we begin to

find out. Looks like there are two

realities here.

Reality X:

In '04, flight 815

doesn't crash. Because...

...the Island is now

an octopus's garden.

It's under the sea!

The effects here were

supremely awful. I was

all, "Lost jumped the shark!"

On the flight, Jack talks

with Rose, saves Charlie's life, sees

Desmond's twin brotha.

On the Island, Jack

gets his ass kicked by James, who

also gives death threats.

Who else is on the

flight? Hurley, Kate, James, Locke, Boone (!!),

Charlie (!!) and Sayid.

Notoriously

absent: Shannon, Nikki and

Paulo, the Tailies.

We don't see Michael,

but I bet he's off looking

for Walt in first class.

Some things are the same:

Boone still sucks as a lifeguard

("Ocean crash? We'd die.")

Jin is sadly, still

a jerk.  Kate is arrested,

Hurley won lotto.

(Although Hurley says

he never has bad luck. So

that's a big difference.)

Locke's still wheelchair bound,

and Jack still wants to fix things.

Can he fix Locke's spine?

(question - did Jacob

not touch John, Jack, Kate or James?

Does Jacob "live" here?)

Oceanic lost

Jack's dad's body. They are the

worst. airline. ever.

Lots of things happen

on the Island, in the "real"

time line. Let's review:

Juliet dies a

second deaht, so James can feel

the loss once again.

Before she dies, she

hints James should "go then. There are

other worlds than these."

A recently dead

Jacob tells Hurley to get

to the Temple. Now.

At the statue, the

fake Locke becomes Smokey and

kills Ilana's men.

Fake Locke/Smokey (Smocke?)

tells Ben he wants to go home.

He's just like E.T.!

Tells Richard it's good

to see him out of his chains.

That's slashfic fuel, there.

Tells everyone else,

"I'm disappointed in you."

Jeez. Judgmental much?

The 70s group

gets to the Temple. Some more

Others are there. Like:

Secret Asian Man.

They've told us he's an Other,

won't divulge his name.

Also, Cindy, the

stewardess from 815.

And Zach and Emma.

The guitar case that

Jacob gave Hurley held a

giant wooden ankh.

Inside that was a

piece of paper. So it's a

fortune cookie, then?

Supposedly the

note says "if Sayid dies, they're

in danger. ....in bed."

The Others then hold

Sayid underwater 'til

he ceases to breathe.

Talk about sending

mixed signals. But then, Others

have always been...odd.

Hurley says Jacob

is dead. The Others spread ash,

shoot off some fireworks.

Dead Sayid wakes up.

"What happened?" he asks. Dude. That's

what we want to know!!

Here we gooooo!!

If I were a billionaire, I would totally make a Nintendo-themed amusement park. I'm honestly shocked it hasn't been done already. A real life Super Mario World? Where you could go around riding Yoshis and saving princesses and defeating Bowsers (where's my refund?) and wearing Raccoon Suits and bouncing on flying turtles? It. would. be. AWESOME.

And that could be just one section of the park. There could also be the Zelda/Link world, and the Sonic the Hedgehog section, and the Metroid area....

Man. This so needs to happen.

It feels like it's been January all year long...

there's a wrench in my back pocket

I'm sore, and beyond tired, and I kinda stink (I could use a shower), but we're moved in!! Such a good thing.

This new house is really great. We've met our neighbors - John, Susan, and tiny Devon - which is already a change from the previous house. (We spent 7.5 years there, and all the interactions with our next door neighbors were brief and unpleasant. And we never knew their names)

There's a LOT of room. Very spacious. And numerous windows. Windows EVERYWHERE. It's great. Especially since hte mountain is practically in our backyard, so the view is spectacular. So. Happy.

I'd blog more, but like I said, it has been a very long day, and I'm exhausted. Steph will most likely have pictures (and video?) tomorrow, so keep an eye out for that. In the meantime, I'm going to go take a quick shower, and then sleep in the mattress that was a hell of a thing to get up the stairs.

The number you are trying to reach is not in service...

Dude. Effective tomorrow (sometime between 7am and 4pm) our home phone number will no longer be the same one we have had for [at least] 11 years.

RIP, Catman4. You were a good number for a long long time. And then you got annoying when the only people who used you were creditors. I hope whoever ends up with you isn't overly irritated by getting calls asking for Patrick Wall-in.

And, yeah. Our number was "catman4". (It could have, I suppose, been "Batman4", but we all know that that was an abomination against humanity. And besides, for a while in my youth, my nickname was, in fact, C.A.A.T. (It stood for Crazy At All Times) So being "Catman" had a somewhat logical precedent.

Our new number, sadly, doesn't spell anything out. Or at least, nothing I've figured out yet.

Lost in 5 minutes

Okay, if your attention span is too short for 17-syllable haiku recaps of Lost, check out this hilarious video where all 5 seasons of Lost are explained in five minutes.



And, I swear, this is the last Lost related post until Season 6 starts.

Haiku Review: Lost - No Place Like Home, Part 2

The Oceanic
Six and Desmond and Frank are
able to get saved.

Penny's Boat shows up
to save the day, after Not
Penny's Boat goes boom.

Which happened after
Ben made sure Keamy's heart was
no longer beating.

Keamy was wearing
a heart monitor that would
trigger the C-4.

When the bomb went off,
Michael, Ghost-Christian, and Jin
were all exploded.

Sun's heart-wrenching scream
when she loses Jin is, well...
here. Just watch and weep.

Ben moves the Island.
Literally! He turns a
frozen donkey wheel...

...there's a blinding flash,
and then Whoomp! There it isn't.
Man, this show is cool.

Juliet and James
watch the smoldering wreckage
of their rescue boat...

...and, as far as they
know, about half of the main
characters just died.

That's a pretty good
excuse for getting wasted,
which is what they do.

Locke meets up with the
Others. At least someone has
a happy ending.

Except...not so much.
In the future, Locke is dead.
That's why Jack's a mess.

Jack says Locke said things
went to shit after Jack left.
Jack's on a guilt trip.

Ben's there (becuase
he hangs out at funeral
parlors, I suppose.)

Ben tells Jack that they
have to go back. All of them.
Even dead John Locke.

Haiku Review: Lost - No Place Like Home, Part 1

This felt like it was
mostly getting everyone
in place for next ep.

Jin, Sun, adn Aaron
end up on the freighter, which
is armed with C-4.

Sayid and Kate, who
went after Jack and Sawyer,
get caught by Others.

Jack and Sawyer find
Frank, arm themselves, head to the
Orchid for Hurley.

Hurley, Locke and Ben
get to the Orchid. Keamy
is already there.

Ben instructs Locke on
where the true Orchid is, then
surrenders himself.

Haiku Review: Lost - Cabin Fever

Alpert sees out Locke
the day he's born, when he's ten,
and when he's a teen.

Locke wasn't ready
to accept his destiny.
But Island-Locke is.

With help from some dreams
and a map from a corpse, John
finds Jacob's cabin.

Inside is Christian,
speaking on Jacob's behalf.
Claire is there as well.

I hope Claire's not dead.
Guess we'll have to wait until
Season six to know.

Things on the freighter
are getting intense. Keamy
slit the doctor's throat...

...then dumped the body
overboard. That explains how
he wound up that way.

Keamy also shoots
the captain. And straps some sort
of bomb to his arm.

I think it's safe to
say Keamy is one fucked up
individual.

Why is he on this
killing spree? Why, to force Frank
to be his pilot.

Meanwhile, Sayid has
taken a raft back to get
survivors rescued.

One last flashback with
Locke: Abaddon plants the seed
of a Walkabout.

When Locke asks Christian
"How do I save the Island?"
He answers, "Move it."

Well. They're gonna need
one hell of a U-Haul truck.
Or a big lever.

Haiku Review: Lost - Something Nice Back Home

Jack's appendix gets
taken out by Juliet.
Sound boring? It is!

Future Jack and Kate
live together, get engaged.
Sound boring? It is!

Christian Shepherd shows
up both on the Island, with
Claire, and off, with Jack.

For a guy who's dead,
he sure does get around. He
takes Claire to the woods.

Haiku Review: Lost - The Shape of Things to Come

Another 'holy
crap, a lot happened' ep. Let's
get started, shall we?

The freighter's doctor
washes up on the beach, with
his throat slit. Not good.

When Des radios
the boat, they say the doctor
is fine. Well, that's weird.

At the Barracks, a
shoot-out takes place. The guys from
the freighter want Ben.

The leader is named
Martin Keamy and he has
Alex held hostage.

He says "Ben, come out
or I'll kill your daughter." Ben
tries to call his bluff.

So Keamy shoots her
in the head. Boom. Just like that.
Ben: "He changed the rules."

Ben goes into a
secret hideaway, then comes
back covered in soot.

Smokey shows up and
it is angry as hell. It
destroys Keamy's men.

James, Claire, Aaron, Miles
head for the beach. Ben, Locke will
find Jacob's cabin.

In the future, Ben
recruits Sayid once his wife
is killed by Widmore.

Ben goes to Widmore,
says, "You killed my daughter, so
I'm gonna kill yours."

Haiku Review: Lost - Meet Kevin Johnson

Michael wants to die.
The Island won't let him. He
has to work for Ben.

He gets on the boat,
along with some explosives.
Sayid turns him in.

On the Island, Ben
has Alex, Danielle and Karl
head to the Temple.

Unfortunately,
they're ambushed along the way.
Karl, Danielle both shot.

Haiku Review: Lost - Ji Yeon

Future Sun gives birth
to daughter Ji Yeon, but Jin
is sadly not there.

Sun, Hurley, Ji Yeon
visit Jin's grave site. He "died"
when the plane went down.

The Oceanic
Six (as the media has dubbed
them) have lied. A lot.

Speaking of lying,
on the freighter the captain
blames fake plane on Ben.

Also, on the boat
is "Kevin Johnson" who looks
a LOT like Michael.

Haiku Review: Lost - The Other Woman

Dan and Charlotte stop
Ben (or someone) from pulling
off "The Purge, Part 2".

The Tempest is a
Dharma station with poison
gas. (Who builds these things?!?)

Juliet is Ben's.
At least, that's what he believes.
Ben? Stalking's creepy.

Ben tells Locke Widmore
faked the plane wreckage and is
a dangerous man.

Haiku Review: Lost - The Constant

Listen: Desmond Hume
has become unstuck in time.
And, he's not alone.

One of the freighters,
George, is also time-bouncin'.
George dies. So it goes.

Des is going to
die, too. So it goes. Unless
he gets an anchor.

Penny can be his
constant. He just has to call
her on Christmas Eve.

Love does conquer all.
It stopped Desmond's time bouncing
nosebleeds. Poo-tee-weet?

Haiku Review: Lost - Eggtown

Miles tells Ben he was
hired by Charles Widmore
to come there to find him...

...But, he says, he'll lie,
say Ben's dead, if Ben pays him
3.2 million.

Dan calls the freighter
and is informed the copter
hasn't shown up there.

Future Kate has a
son. The final reveal is
that he is Aaron.

Haiku Review: Lost - The Economist

Future Sayid is
killing people on a list
that Ben gave to him.

Sayid, Kate, and Miles
go to the Barracks to save
Charlotte. they trade Miles.

Also, Kate stays and
moves in with Claire. Sawyer is
happy to see her.

Daniel sets up an
experiment involving
rockets, time delays.

Rocket that should take
20 seconds, takes 30
minutes to arrive.

Ordering pizza
on the Island is a bitch.
Never there on time.

Frank, Sayid, and Des
fly away in Frank's chopper.
Dan warns: "Don't change course."

Haiku Review: Lost - Confirmed Dead

4 new characters
get introduced to us: Dan,
Miles, Charlotte, and Frank.

Daniel Faraday
is a physicist who's a
bit absent minded.

Miles Straume talks to dead
people, is sarcastic, and
really likes money.

Charlotte spent her time
digging up polar bears in
the Tunisian sand.

Frank "The Lawnmower
Man" Lapidus: pilot, drunk,
but pretty cool guy.

All four of them were
hired by Abaddon to
go to the Island.

Charlotte gets captured
by Locke and his people. Ben
tries to shoot her dead.

Ben knows who Charlotte
is because he's got a spy
on her boat. Of course.

Miles tells Jack and his
group that they're there to capture
Benjamin Linus.

Haiku Review: Lost - The Beginning of the End

Future Hurley see
Maybe Evil Abaddon,
Dead Charlie, and Jack.

Abaddon asks him,
"Are they still alive?". Music
plays ominously.

Dead Charlie tells him
that he needs to go back. Hey!
That's what Jack told Kate!

Jack's not saying that
yet, though. When he sees Hurley,
he still has no beard.

When Hurley mentions
going back, Jack says 'never'.
Never say never!

Hurley also tells
Jack he shouldn't have gone with
Locke while on the Isle.

And we see when that
happened - after Hurley hears
about Charlie's death.

Locke tells the Losties,
"I'm going to the Barracks.
Who wants to join me?"

Hurley, Sawyer, Claire,
Aaron, and some background folk
opt to follow Locke.

Jack gets greeted by
one of the freighter crew who
jumped from a copter.