Thursday, June 04, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - The Incident, Part 1

This first scene is, in
retrospect, one of the most
important - ever.

So pay attention!
All right, here we go. We start
with a guy.... weaving.

So this Dream Weaver
goes out to the beach, and he's
caught a red herring!

He's joined by "Man
#2", which is what the
credits list him as.

Dream Weaver offers
Man #2 some herring
he says he just ate.

They sit on the beach
together, watching a ship
(the Black Rock?) approach.

It should be noted
Dream Weaver has light hair, while
Man number 2, dark.

That may mean nothing
but this is Lost, which loves black-
white symbolism

Warning!! Important
dialogue coming up!! I'll
quote (near) verbatim

"I take it," says Dream
Weaver, "You're here 'cause of the
ship." Man 2: "I am."

Man 2 continues,
"How did they find the Island?"
"You'll have to ask them."

"You brought them here. You
are trying to prove me wrong."
"You are wrong, my friend."

"Am I? They come. They
fight. They destroy. They corrupt.
Always ends the same."

"It only ends once.
Anything that happens 'fore
that is just progress."

"Do you have any
idea how much I wanna
kill you?" Man 2 asks.

Dream Weaver says, "Yes."
Man 2: "One of these days I'll
find a loophole, friend."

"Well, when you do, I'll
be right here." "Nice talking with
you, Jacob." .... JACOB!?!!

Young Kate is about
to begin her life of crime
she steals a lunch box

It's a New Kids on
the Block lunch box, which means that
Kate was hangin' tough.

But Kate's not real good
at crime. She gets caught stealing
(once, when she was five eight)

However, before
the store owner can call Kate's
folks, Jacob (!!!) steps in.

Jacob offers to
buy the lunch box. He's sure that
Kate's got the right stuff.

He asks Kate if she'll
steal again. She says no. He
boops her nose. "Be good."

In the present/past
Kate tells James and Juliet
how Jack has a bomb.

Sawyer is rather
cavalier about Jack's plan
to blow up the past.

"Jack's got a bomb, good
for Jack." Um. James? It's Jack. With
a nuclear bomb.

Perhaps Juliet
should check to see if Sawyer
suffered brain damage.

Locke, meanwhile, is in
full-on leader mode, leading
his group to Jacob.

Richard Alpert tells
Locke "I've never seen someone
come back from the dead."

Locke says in return
he's never seen someone who
doesn't age. Touché.

Richard says he's that
way due to Jacob. Locke says
well let's go thank him.

Bram and Ilana
show Frank what's in the box. Frank
sighs, "Terrific." Heh.

Young James is writing
the letter to the man he
blames for his folks' deaths.

His pen runs out of
ink, but Jacob is there to
help him continue.

He hands James a pen
says he's sorry for his loss.
James writes his letter.

James, Kate, Juliet
hijack the sub so they can
go back and stop Jack.

Jack and Sayid are
ready to remove Jughead's
core, using Dan's notes.

Richard decides that
Eloise shouldn't be this
close to a bomb, so...

...He knocks Eloise
out and drags her away, but
first asks about Locke.

Jack tells him, "Don't give
up on Locke." ..wait. Jack said that
about John Locke?? Huh.

Speaking of John, he's
just told Ben that Ben's the one
who will kill Jacob.

If you think you're shocked,
you should see Benjamin's face.
It's "WHAT THE!?!?!" defined.

In flashback, we see
Jacob was there when Sayid
watched Nadia die.

At this point, I had
to ask, is Jacob fate? Or
is he weaving it?

Either way, Jacob
does touch Sayid, in cast that's
important later.

On the Island, Jack
and Sayid carry the bomb
through the tunnels and...

...right in the middle
of Dharmaville, while all the
hippies excavate.

But our duo need
to get Jughead to the Swan
site! What can they do?

They put on Dharma
jumpsuits, blending right in, and
then Ben's dad spots them.

Bullets start flying
(Man, these guys are violent
for hippies, aren't they?)

Sayid tries to warn
Ben's dad not to shoot since he's
carrying a nuke.

But Mr. Linus
is all, "You shot my son!!" BLAM!!
Gut shot for Sayid!

I believe this makes
Sayid the 15th person
we've seen get gut shot.

Things look grim for the
guys, but then Hurley (and friends)
arrive in the van.

They jump inside and
race from the gun play! Time for
a commercial break.

James, Juliet, Kate
wash ashore and ...dude. Dude! DUDE!!
Vincent is there!! Dude!!

And so are Rose and
Bernard!! (Although Bernard has
not aged well.) But still!

All those weeks we asked
"Where are Rose and Bernard and
Vincent too?" paid off.

The trio have spent
the last 3 years hiding out,
enjoying nature.

They're done with the whole
Dharma drama-rama and
the love quad from hell.

The Dharma group could
learn a thing or two from these
guys. I'm just sayin'.

But, taking a break
from the plot only works with
minor characters.

So, James, Kate, and Jules
continue on their mission
to find and stop Jack.

Flashback! Ilana
is in a hospital with
her face bandaged up.

And, hey! Jacob is
there, because he's in every
flashback now, I guess.

Anyway, Jacob
knows Ilana. Asks her to
help him. She says yes.

Interestingly,
Jacob doesn't touch her and
he's wearing black gloves.

Jack tells Hurley to
get to the Swan site so that
he can "save" Sayid.

Ilana and her
crew have found Jacob's cabin,
but they are alarmed.

Jacob's not there, and
hasn't been for some time. Plus,
outside the cabin...

...the ring of ash has
been disturbed. The circle has
been broken. So they...

...burn the cabin down,
despite Frank's warnings about
forest fires. Heh.

Oh, hey, flashback time.
Jacob is reading a book
when John Locke drops in.

Jacob is the first
one to get to Locke after
his fall. He touched Locke.

And John gasped for breath.
Now, did Jacob just give John
a resurrection?

Or did his touch make
John Locke paralyzed? Or both?
Or neither? Oh, Lost.

Locke, Ben reminisce
about their time in the hatch
and Jacob's cabin.

Ben admits he has
never seen Jacob. He lied
back in Season 3.

He's also lied
in every episode he's
been in. Ben lies. Lots.

Anyway, Ben now
wants to know why Locke wants him
to murder Jacob.

Locke says, "Look. You're on
the Magic Healing Island
...and you got cancer.

"And you had to watch
your daughter get gunned down in
cold blood." (Ben's own fault.)

"And your reward for
listening to a man you've
never met? Exiled!!"

"So, really, Ben. Why
wouldn't you want to kill him?"
Ben considers this.

It's amusing how
Locke has manipulated
Ben for a change, huh?

Sun, meanwhile, has found
Aaron's old crib and Charlie's
old ring from Driveshaft.

We flashback to the
wedding of Jin and Sun. Lo
and behold, Jacob!!

He greets them at the
reception, touching them both,
wishing them the best.

Despite the fact he
spoke "excellent Korean",
Jin nor Sun knew him.

In the Dharma van
Sayid works to make Jughead
explode on contact.

Even when dying
from a gunshot wound, Sayid
does what he must. Wow.

Hurley stops the van
cuz Juliet, James, Kate are
in the road with guns.


Part 2 will be posted in a few days.

2 comments:

Amy said...

I don't know what the deal is, but I've stopped reading these as haikus. They just sound like normal ... non-haiku things.

Also, the Dharma Initiative are seriously the worst hippies ever.

And, ten years later and I still get tripped up trying to spell "Initiative."

Min said...

I love your take on these episodes. They make me giggle. Especially the one about Kate getting caught stealing. :-D