Ape10 episode 4: Que Sera Sera

England, The Middle Ages.

Ape10, Spark, and Zombielyn are wandering the countryside. "And you're sure that this is where the second dinowarrior is?" Ape10 asked Spark.

"Affirmative." Spark responded. "The history books from our present day stated that many villagers in this time period reported seeing a "dragon" terrorizing their day to day activities. My computer brain predicts that there is a 99.98% chance that the dragon is in fact one of the chronologically misplaced dinosaurs."

"Greeeeaaayt!" Zombielyn said. " Hnnuuh."

Ape10 approached a passing villager. "Excuse me, sir, I'm trying to find the ..."
But by that time, the person had turned to see Ape10 and reacted.
"Ahhh! Ye are infected with the olde plague! Back! Back! Before I am cursed with the disease!"
And with that, the man fled down the olde pathe.

The primate looked slightly offended. "Pfft. Primitive middle-ager. Well...maybe you should ask someone, Spark. I don't want the next person to attempt to cure me with leeches."

Spark found another passerby and approached him. Before the robot could speak, the young man bowed.
Spark looked back to Ape10 and Zombielyn. They were as baffled as he was, but gestured for him to go ahead.
"Um...I'm looking for the dragon that has been terrorizing your village lately. Do you know where it is?"

The young man rose and said, "Kind Knight, Sir - Nobody knows where to find the mighty dragon. It simply comes to town and kidnaps the maidens. If only we knew where the beast was hiding, I myself would take it down. Then the villagers would write great tales of my heroic deeds. They would say, 'Brave Arthur slayed the creature!' and other such things."

Spark analyzed the small person named Arthur in front of him. "Hmm." he thought, "there is a 83.12% chance that this is the King Arthur from those legends. I should make sure that history is not altered." Before leaving, he whispered into Arthur's ear.

Spark then conferred with his friends. "It seems that the dragon has an interest in maidens." At that, Spark and Ape10 looked at Zombielyn.

"Unnnhhh."

As Zombielyn strolled around, doing her best to look 'maidenish', Ape10 and Spark remained hidden behind some trees. The plan was to ambush the dragon once it tried to attack Zombielyn. Spark was wielding a sword, Ape10 had a rock.

Suddenly, the dragon appeared. Zombielyn monotoned, "Heeehhlp." and the robot and the ape stepped out from behind the trees. Ape10 said, "We're about to get medieval upon your ass." and then they began to attack the creature from another time.

As Spark sliced it with his sword, Ape10 began to hit it with the heavy rock, and Zombielyn tore into its flesh with her undead fangs. Before long, the dinosaur was deceased.

Having nullified the threat, Ape10 set his weapon down on the ground. Spark stuck the sword into the stone, and Zombielyn wiped the blood off her face.
Ape10 said, "You know, if we keep this up, the series is gonna be done before it even gets started. We need a more difficult enemy than these dinosaurs."
"There is still one more out there," Spark said. "And we have Bluebush himself to track down and bring to justice. Not to mention The Boy."

Before they could return to the Time Blender, an elderly man dressed in robes appeared. "Excuse me, but which one of you is Ape10?"

Ape10 looked at the old man with curiosity, then answered, "Who wants to know?"

"My name," the gentleman responded, "is Merlin."

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" Ape10 asked.
Zombielyn leaned over and whispered "Maaaahgic." into Ape10's ear. He looked impressed.

"Oh. Well. Then. Yes. I am Ape10. What can I do for you?"

Merlin said gravely, "I know that you have had dealings with The Boy."

Ape10 cringed. "How do you know about him?"

Merlin smiled and said, "Try to understand. Try to understand. Try, try, try, to understand. I'm a magic man."

By this point, a small crowd of people had gathered around the dragon's corpse. A few of the men were trying to take credit for the slaying, but none of them were able to remove the sword from the stone to prove that they were responsible. Arthur was among the crowd. He remembered what Spark had told him, and using the tip that he'd given him, he easily unsheathed the weapon.

Merlin sighed. "I would like to return to the future with you three to assist you in battling The Boy, but as you can see, I am needed here. However, I will do the next best thing. When you return to your own time, I will have arranged for a magician to provide guidance in regard to your nemesis. To call upon this fellow augur, follow these directions." Merlin handed a scroll to Ape10.

Ape10 took the scroll, and Merlin said, "Be careful, Ape10. The Boy will stop at nothing to become The Man. If that happens, he will be much more difficult to deal with."
Ape10 nodded. "Thank you, Merlin. And...um. May the Force be with you, I guess."

*****

Azwood, Present Day.

Upon returning to their home, Ape10 took the scroll and unfurled it. The text was written in Latin. He grimaced and handed the scroll to Spark. The robot looked it over and said, "Sorry, buddy. But I can't help you."

Ape10 did a double take. "You can't read Latin, Spark?"

Spark said, "Of course I can read Latin. But everyone knows that robots can't do magic. Or at least, not unless they have the right processors implanted. I do not."

Ape10 sighed. "Oh. Well..." Zombielyn reached over and took the scroll. She looked it over, then read it aloud, doing the necessary dance steps as well. Once she was finished, the scroll disintegrated.
Ape10 looked at Zombielyn and asked, "You can read Latin?"
"Etiam!"

"Wonderful! So...did it work?"

"I'd say yes." A voice from behind them said. The trio turned to see a redheaded woman standing in the park. "I am Belinda, the witch. You summoned me?"

Spark asked, "Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"

Belinda smiled and said, "Good one. I've not heard that one a thousand times before."

Spark softly said, "Well there's no need to get snippy."

Ape10 stepped in and said, "Yes. Merlin told us that you would be able to assist us in our battle with The Boy. What can you tell us about him?"

"I will attempt to gaze into the future, and tell you what I can see. I warn you now, though, that using these powers is not easy, and I may not be able to predict what The Boy is planning. In addition, future knowledge may not be as helpful as you would like. I will try, though."

Belinda closed her eyes briefly, then said, "I...yes...I see...a robot!"

Spark seemed to become more interested in what the woman had to say. "Yes?" he prodded, "Go on."

The witch added, "This robot...will travel from the future....and into the past...to ...cause death and destruction."

Spark shook his head. "No. It can't be true."

Belinda opened her eyes and glaring at Spark, said, "It is. It shall come to pass."

Spark looked at Ape10 and Zombielyn. "She's mistaken, then. She must be thinking of that old Arnold movie, perhaps."
Before anyone could comment on this idea, Belinda closed her eyes again and said, "Zombielyn! I see you ...Ape10 and Spark have abandonded you in the past. During the ...Salem witch trials. You will be placed on trial for some reason, and ..." she didn't finish her thought, instead began to predict Ape10's fate.

"As for you, Ape10 - you will soon die. It seems that The Boy will, ultimately, become The Man, and he will kill you. He will kill all of you. It is inevitable!"
At that point, Ape10 said angrily, "Okay, witch. How long have you been working for The Boy?"
Belinda smiled evilly. "You're a smart monkey, aren't you? I see why The Boy admires you. But it won't matter. I may have been lying about Zombielyn, but I am a soothsayer, and it is fact that you will all be killed. It isn't my fault if you can't handle the sooth."
Ape10 growled. "What happened to the wizard Merlin was going to send us?"

Belinda shrugged. "She died. It happens."

The ape glared at the woman and said, "It certainly does."

*****

Spark returned from the Time Blender alone.
Ape10 asked the robot, "Done?"
Spark answered, "Affirimative. I took our friend to the Salem Witch Trials. With the outfit she was wearing, it didn't require much convincing on the mob's part to believe that she was, in fact, a witch."
Zombielyn said, "Guuuuhuhhhhhhhhhh."

Ape10 nodded, but looked troubled. "Spark? Zombielyn? Do ...do you guys think that Belinda was actually able to see the future?"

Zombielyn shook her head. "Nuuuuuuhhhhhh-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh."

Spark agreed. "She was simply an agent of The Boy, trying to get us to doubt ourselves. Remember what Linda Hamilton told us? 'The Future is not set. There is no fate but that which we make.' And besides, the only real way to tell the future is to highlight spoilers."

Zombielyn added, "Plaaaaahhhhstik."

Ape10 smiled and thanked his friends. "Thanks, guys. You're both right, of course. Worrying about the future is completely pointless. Whatever happens, happens. From now on, "Inevitable, schminevtable" is my motto. Besides, the future can't be as bad as she predicted."

[Being spoiler for -15 minutes highlight to view]Ape10 becomes famous.[end spoiler]

Back to you, fuckers!

Mostly this is a reminder to myself to blog about the hilairity that is my workplace on a later date. Man, that place is fucking funny! Emphasis on the fucking!

The groove? It's in the heart.

Oh yeah.

So, the money came. And ironically (er...coincidentally, rather) that day I aired the episode of Seinfeld called "The Money". Never underestimate the power of coincidence.

Oddly, I'm not as happy about the cash as I expected to be. I'm all ...not. Who knew that money didn't equate happiness? I mean, I'm glad we got it, because, hey, it beats starving (because although starving is truly hilarious, it's only funny when it's happening to other people.), but I'm not overjoyed. In fact, I spent most of yesterday in Grumpy Old Troll mode. Bah.

Today's been better, though. I've had two cans of Pepsi. And not just regular Pepsis, either! They're 8 ounce cans!!!!

I call them....Mini-P.

They make me feel like a giant when I'm consuming them. And they're so cute! Everything should be minisized. Tiny = aesthetically pleasing, in other words, fly.

Tomorrow I'm off work! For two days! Hot damn!

I really should be working on Ape10. I hope that it doesn't end up suffering as a result of my laziness. Speaking of - I was thinking about my "Do you hate ME?" post, and I've decided to go easier on the ME folks. Writing is hard. Creating an entertaining, engaging piece of art takes a lot out of you, and to do it for as long as they did - they deserve quite a bit of slack. Season 7 still sucked major ass, though.

Speaking of writing (and of Ape10) I really do wish that that type of thing were more prevelant on blogs. Don't get me wrong, I love the diary type things that everyone does, but sometimes I get a hankering for a dose of fiction. Are there "story" blogs? It seems there should be. And it seems that some of them would incorporate pictures like Ape10 does. So where are they? Or maybe I'm actually the first one to do this type of thing. [shrug] That's me. The trendsetter. [drolleyes]

One final note - I can't seem to read anything anymore. The last book I finished was Hey Nostradamus! which was back in January. I never did finish reading The Egg Code nor The Silk Code (they were completely unrelated to each other, in case you're wondering), and while I was enjoying The Forest People, I all of a sudden ...stopped reading it. [shrug] I simply can't find any books to grab my interest any more. No wonder I quit doing the WD Book Club.

Shouldn't this be on that Buffyboard?

Without getting all spoilery, I'm hoping that the season (and series) ends with the Angel team giving into the evils of W&H. I want all of them to be corrupted, and to just accept that.

There are spoilerish examples of things that have happened this year I could cite, but I'm not in the mood to do it right now. Also, I haven't seen Shells yet, so I have no idea if that will change my POV or not. But as of right now, I want them all to wind up evil, and proud of it.

We'll see how it goes.

And (still trying to not use spoilertags. Man, I go through so much for the benefit of Jupe), going back to the events that ended episode 100 - how do we know that it was the SP that did the hole thing? We have no way of knowing for sure that that is where that character went...(Hopefully that was vague enough.)

In other news, the 8-ball is one kickass piece of plastic.

Nowhere Man

I'm my way of the brain is yareh.

Yeah.

Also, my nose hurts.

Maybe later, I all actually post the thing I was going to post about when I frist started to want to type this up. Maybe.

Remember wahile back when I made a post that was on that Buffyboard that was about Dr. Seuss, and I misspelled his name? Guess what! So did our news department today! (Today is his 100th birthday) So I

Supposedly, the rain will stop, and the nice weather will be back by the weekend. Thank Gord. (Heee. Gord.)

IT's been a while since I've been sick, so I'd forgotten how much it sucks. A lot, is the amount, in case you're curious.

Gord, I 've got just over a week to type up the next Ape10, and I've not even started. Not a problem, so along as I feel better before then. Get to work, anti-bodies!! Get to work!!

IN conclusion, SHamalamadingdong.

I guess I should post today.

I've got nothing to say, really, but it's the 29th of Feb, which only comes around blah, blah, blah.

Anywhat, the Oscars are on, and Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King has won everything it's been nominated for. Is it really that good?

Huh. Today, while being an extra day in the year, wound up being pretty much wasted. Go Team Lazy!

Oh, and there were not doughnuts.

Hmmm.

There's a meeting with the General Manager of the stations tomorrow. 7:30am.

My expectations are low, but my interest is piqued.

See, about a week back the department got together and submitted a letter to the GM asking about raises. We're finally going to address this.

Mostly, I'm hoping that there's doughnuts.

I get mine at Wal-Mart

Which explains a lot, actually.

You need knowledge to recognize that you have knowledge....so where does it come from originally?

In the same vein, how does one know that one is "enlightened"?

Folks who claim to know all the answers...they're lying, aren't they?

Life imitating art imitating life

Back in the early 90s Stephen King released a collection of novellas titled Four Past Midnight. One of the stories is titled Secret Window, Secret Garden, and it's about a writer who is confronted by someone who claims that he plagiarized one of his stories and got famous off it.

Now, there's an upcoming movie starring Johnny Depp, called Secret Window, and it appears to be about a writer who is confronted by someone who claims he plagiarized one of his stories...

The weird thing is, Stephen King's name is nowhere on the commercials for the film. In fact, it says that the movie is "from the writer of Panic Room."

So...um...did this person plagiarize Stephen King's story or what?

Here's a truck stop, instead of St. Peter's

From the "Man, there really is something wrong with me" file - The top story on AOL is about how George Bush's dog died today. My reaction was laughter.

Laughter was also my initial reaction to finding out that Laura Bush killed someone in a car accident years ago. (On a side note- why is this not a wider known story?? I heard about it from someone at work, and thought she was joking...)

It seems that laughing is something I do whenever the Bushes and death are connected...

Today at work, we had some story about the Las Vegas section of craigslist.org. Of course, being our news, we got it as wrong as we possibly could. First, we were calling it Craigslist.com, rather than .org, and second, we put up a graphic that had it cited (hee! pun!) as "lasvegas.craiglist.com" - note the lack of "s".

Well, to prove my point, I fired up the ol' Internet Explorer at work, and went to lasvegas.craiglist.com.

Guess what! It's porn!

And not just porn, but it's the type of site that when you close the window, about 45 other porn windows open up. Wheee! For the record, I let the director know about the error, and the 10 o'clock news cast had the correct site address in the graphic.

What else? Um. My hair is big. You all should worship me.

OH! I'm working on a future post! In fact, I've begun it, and have the date set. (May 24th, 2004. 3pm.) It's gonna be Big. Wonderfully Big, one might say. Or, Wonderfully Boring, maybe.

And, speaking of upcoming posts, the next Ape10 episode started to actually form itself in my mind today. Thankfully.

It's nice to have tomorrow and the next day off, but I wish the weather were more ...something. I've had enough of winter for now, thank you.

Lastly, Donkey Kong on the gameboy is frustrating as hell. Why can't the princess rescue her own damn self for a change? [mad]

Our hearts pump dust and our hairs all gray

I think my problem is that I'm socially retarded.

La de da de da, la de da de da

Stolen from the Jupe....

I present to you the titles I've used that are lyrics from songs - explained!

From here on out, though, you're on your own. It'll be fun! When you think a title is a song lyric, when you leave a comment just state the song (and artist, if you're showing off).

Away we go...

Tuesday, July 15, 2003
"Sweet Dreams are made of these"
from "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)" by Annie Lennox of the Eurhytmics. Also Mariyln Manson.
Geez. I start with the obvious ones, didn't I?

Friday, August 15, 2003
"They say it's your birthday!"
from "Birthday" by the Beatles

Sunday, August 17, 2003
"The smile on a dog."
from "What I Am" by Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians

Wednesday, August 20, 2003
"...and the chaos that surrounds me like a flock of screaming pigs..."
from "Change" by Boingo

Sunday, August 31, 2003 was the blog-a-thon date, and all of my titles were the names of the songs from the CD Look Into The Eyeball. (We should have another blog-a-thon soon....)

Sunday, September 21, 2003
"One down. Three point six to go."
from "One Down" by Ben Folds

Thursday, October 02, 2003
"There is water at the bottom of the ocean."
from "Once in a Lifetime" by Talking Heads

Friday, October 10, 2003
"Sweet Dreams are made of these."
Again??

Saturday, October 11, 2003
"Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping ...into the future."
from "Fly Like an Eagle" by Steve Miller (or Seal)

Sunday, October 19, 2003
"It was 20 years ago today..."
from "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" by The Beatles

Saturday, October 25, 2003
"I'm havin' trouble tryin' to sleep."
from "Brain Stew/Jaded" by Green Day

Friday, October 31, 2003
"Every single one of us, the devil inside."
from "Devil Inside" by INXS

Friday, October 31, 2003
"Let me out! Let, let me out!"
from Cherub Rock by the Smashing Pumpkins

Monday, November 3, 2003
"JFK blown away, what else do I have to say?"
from "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel

Friday, November 14, 2003
"Life goes by so fast. You only want to do what you think is right. Close your eyes and then it's past."
from "Story of my Life" by Social Distortion

Monday, November 17, 2003
"I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me."
from "I Don't Like the Drugs (But the Drugs Like Me)" by Marilyn Manson

Sunday, November 30, 2003
"And the wolves all howl while the world around me dies"
from "Pedestrian Wolves" by Boingo

Wednesday, December 03, 2003
"Hobbit motherfuckers!"
from "Hobbit Motherfuckers" by Er...huh. I don't know.

Thursday, December 04, 2003
"Na na na na-na-na-naaa!"
from "Hey Jupe" by the Beatles

Friday, December 05, 2003
"Always look at the bright side of life."
from "Bright Side of Life" (I'm assuming) from the movie Life of Brian

Friday, December 12, 2003
"Champagne supernova"
from "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis

Friday, December 19, 2003
"This is my United States of Whatever"
from "United States of Whatever" by Liam Lynch (Sifl and Olly)

Sunday, December 21, 2003
"I don't know where the sunbeams end and the starlight begins."
from "Fight Test" by the Flaming Lips

Monday, December 22, 2003
"What would we do, baby, without us?"
from the theme song to the television show Family Ties

Thursday, December 25, 2003
"Holy Shit, It's Christmas!"
from "Holy Shit, It's Christmas" by Red Peters

Wednesday, December 31, 2003
"Just Another Day"
from "Just Another Day" by Oingo Boingo

Friday, January 16, 2004
"That which you fear the most could meet you half way."
from "Crazy Mary by Pearl Jam

Monday, January 26, 2004
"I'm gonna getchya-getchya-getchya-getchya."
from "One Way or Another" by Blondie

Wednesday, February 04, 2004
"I quit my job today, oh boy."
from "A Day in the Life" by The Beatles

Saturday, February 07, 2004
"And if I can't have everything, then just give me a taste."
from "Sin by Nine Inch Nails

Saturday, February 14, 2004
"When the whipperwhil whistles in the wind..."
from an episode of Animaniacs. I don't know if it's a real song or not.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004
"La de da de da, la de da de da"
from "What's the name of that song?" sung by the Sesame Street cast

Man, there were a lot more than I thought.

Tune in next time, when I might have an actual entry!

When the whipperwhil whistles in the wind...

It was 10 years ago today that my parents bought me my brand new Geo Metro. (And we all know how that turned out.)

I can't believe that a decade has gone by since then. Wow. Ten years.

In related ...ish news, we had dinner with my parents last night at Joe's Crab Shack. Those of you who are up on your P@ trivia know full well that I am allergic to shellfish. Luckily, I stayed away from the lobster, clams, and shrimp, and dined purely on Fish & Chips. I mean, I love the taste of shrimp, but for whatever reason, I prefer to remain able to breathe. I know. I'm weird.

Dinner was rather noneventuous, except for the fact that my parents were an hour and a half late. [insert jaw dropping/eyes popping out sound effects]
An hour and a half!

Oh, and the dancing. That was enjoyable, if slightly embarrasing. But, still. Fun.

The check came to a mighty 223 dollars. Yikes. Well, might as well let my parents leave here with something memorable. [doh2]

The other day, I helped my stepmom move. And by saying "helped", I mean that I drove over to the house and watched the movers pack things and kept my mom company for a few hours.
I'm amazed - simply amazed - at how much stuff my parents have. Dear god, they're packrats. And my mom was telling me how she had thrown away like entire garbage cans full of stuff beforehand. And they still had enough material goods to build a small city. [sigh]

It was a little saddening to see the house one last time. Plus, the fact that GLEPUB1 is no longer an active phone number. It was my parent's (and my own, for a time) phone number for years. At least 12. And now, it's disconnected. Sniff.

I thought that I had something else to blog about, and maybe I do, but for now this'll have to do it. It's time for the Fucking News.

UTP@ Returns!

My thoughts are mostly oatmealish right now. The word "FUCK!" seems to be ...something, like it is in oatmeal so often. FUCK. Heeee.e hee!

ude, there's some kind of giant lizard on teh TV. Iguana. That's the word. I am teh Iguana King! I can do anything!

ANd now that guy is looking at lizard piss. Fucking hell, that's kind of funny. Also - did you know that you caould say "Dick" on TV? Becuase they did on Angel last night. Oh. That was as poiler. Um. Ignoree that, if you didn't know.

I have stuff to say, but I'm so not ...whatever that word is...to do it firight now. But it was about how my parents are moving, and about someon at work, (which I am now at), and about something elese but motehrer fuck, I'm tired.

Heeeee.
Lizards.

Ape10 episode 3: How the West Was 011101110110111101101110

Spark walked into the park, looking for Ape10 and Zombielyn. He had exciting news to show them.
Ape10 was there, looking somewhat sad.

Seeing the look on his friend's face, Spark asked, "What's wrong?"

Ape10 sighed and said, "Our enemies seem to be one step ahead of us. Sure, we managed to defeat one of Bluebush's dinowarriors, but there are still two more out there. And now, this child who stole the shadow off a groundhog...It's as though the whole world is against us."

"Well, this ought to cheer you up. Read this article." Spark handed the primate the newspaper. Looking at it, Ape10 grinned. "This is fantastic! Let's get in the Time Blender, and capture him while we still can!"

"I felt the same way." Spark agreed. "Where's Zombielyn?"

Ape10 uttered, "Doh! I forgot, she's out shopping at the Azwood West Mall. She should be..."
Just then, Ape10's cell phone rang. Looking at the display, Ape10 saw that it was Zombielyn calling. "That's convienent," he said, then answered the phone.
"Ape10 here, talk to me."
The ape listened, then said into the phone - "All right, Zombielyn, I'll be there in a few minutes." He hung up, then addressed Spark. "I've got to go to the Azwood West Mall. Zombielyn is there, along with our other nemesis. And apparently, he wants to speak with me."
Spark asked, "What about Bluebush?"
" I still think mixing sci-fi and westerns is a crazy idea, but go ahead and apprehend him, if you can. Maybe we'll capture both of our enemies at once!" Ape10 concluded happily.

*****
Spark entered the newspaper building, and asked to see the reporter who had written the article about Bluebush. He was directed toward the back, among all the printing equipment.
A young man was working on the equipment, obviously preparing the next day's news. Spark tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Excuse me."

The man turned around and Spark gasped, " Mark Twain!"

The reporter chuckled and said, "No, good sir, my name is Samuel Clemens. But I see that you've got an interest in that article I wrote. What can I do for you?"

Spark got over his celebrity-induced shock and got to business. "Yes. I'm looking for the blue-skinned man you wrote about recently. Can you tell me where he is, by chance?"

The writer nodded. "Yes indeed, metallic stranger. That card-player is most likely in the Gosh Darn Saloon, over cross yonder. There's something...odd about him. But he can play cards like nobody's business."

Spark thanked him, and walked out. The man shook his head and muttered, "Mark Twain. I like the sound of that..."

Spark saw the Gosh Darn Saloon, and pushed open the swinging doors.

*****

Ape10 walked past several of the stores in the mall, marvelling at the names. Pencil Sharpening Emporium... 8-track Central ...Shoelace Depot ...Man, Ape10 thought, they sell everything here.

He found Zombielyn and the youngster in the food court. The child was a boy, who looked to be about 8 years old. He had sandy blond hair, and looked rather average. If Ape10 hadn't known better, he'd have never had pegged him as a criminal mastermind.

The boy spoke before Ape10 or Zombielyn could say anything. "Ape10! I knew you would come. You're so predictable. It's almost too..."

Ape10 could take no more insults. He began to shout questions at the boy. "Who are you? How did you know about Bluebush's dinosaur-stealing plan? What did you do with Azwood Al's shadow? Where the hell are your parents?"

The boy glared up at Ape10 and said, "I'm The Man." He frowned, then added, "Or, I will be, once I grow up. For now, I guess I'm just The Boy. Which isn't nearly as menancing, I admit.

Regardless, it is a given that I will become The Man. And when that happens, the world will be mine. MINE!!!!"

Zombielyn said, "Ahhhh-haa!"

The Boy nodded. "Correct, Miss Monroe. The shadow told me much about my future."

"Well, The Boy," Ape10 interrupted, "I hate to disappoint such a charming individual as yourself, but I won't allow you to grow to become The Man, regardless of what the shadow told you."

The Boy chuckled and said, "I do believe that I am the one in charge here. And I'm afraid that you are the one that will not have much of a future. Minotaurs!!"
With that command, a small army of minotaurs appeared, surrounding Zombielyn and Ape10.

The Boy bowed slightly to the primate and the zombie. "Miss Monroe. Ape10. It's been fun. Pity you have to die now." And then he turned and disappeared out of the mall.

"Fuuuuuuugh." Zombielyn said.

*****

Spark looked around the interior of the Gosh Darn Saloon. The place consisted of the typical outlaws, thieves, and band of buggered. Over in a dark corner sat Bluebush, playing cards with a group of no-goodians.

Spark first walked to the bar. "Barkeep! I would like a glass of your best ale! And a Hot Pocket!"

The bartender slid the beer to the robot and said, "I don't know what a Hot Pocket is, Mister. That some sort of drink?"

Spark took his alcohol and said, "Never mind. This will do." He then made his way over to the table that Bluebush the pirate was sitting at. "Excuse me, gentlemen. I'm here to play cards with that fellow right there." He pointed at Bluebush.
The pirate scowled. Recognizing Spark, but not wanting to risk being captured, he decided to play along.
"Arr. Sit downs, mister, and we'll deal." After Spark sat down, Bluebush asked, "So, what game shall we play? Poker? Blackjack? War? I likes War. Arrrrr."

Spark said, "How about ....Go Fish."

The crowd that had gathered around to watch, gasped in unison.

Bluebush regained his composure and said, "Aye. Go Fish it be."

As he was dealing the cards, he asked, "Ye aren't afraid to make the game more ...interesting, are ye? A wager, of some sorts?"

"Absolutely," Spark said. "How about, the loser has to leave the West and never return?"

Bluebush chuckled. " Ye got it!"

Spark looked at the hand he had been dealt. Such luck! He was guaranteed to win, but he didn't let it show. Spark had a great Go Fish face. He put his fours down, leaving just the one card in his hand. He shouted "Uno!" and watched as Bluebush looked rather uncomfortable. The crowd murmured to itself - nobody had beaten Bluebush before!

A bearded older gentleman leaned over to Bluebush and whispered some advice to him.

"Have ye...." and before he finished asking, the pirate had upturned the table and run out of the Gosh Darn saloon. Spark followed, just in time to see Bluebush hop on a horse and gallop away. Grumbling, Spark found a horse and got on it. He tried to give chase, but, since it was the robot's first time on a stallion, he was unable to get it to cooperate. Bluebush had escaped yet again.

*****

In the Azwood West Mall, Ape10 and Zombielyn were trying to fight off the minotaurs. Zombielyn said, "Grrrraaaa!!"

Ape10 noticed they were next to Cattle Prods R Us. "Zombielyn!! Look!" He pointed at the storefront, and they went inside.

It was a mere matter of minutes later that they had managed to rustle the minotaurs together into a small enclosed area. "Well, we've got them captured," Ape10 said, "but what should we do with them? It's not like we can keep them here forever."

Zombielyn said with just a tint of evil in her voice, "Guuuh."

One of the minotaurs looked worried.

*****

Back in the park, the trio were sharing their adventures with each other.
Ape10 was concluding, "And we even made some money, selling the cheeseburgers!"

Zombielyn said, "Yuuuuuhhm."
Ape10 agreed, "And that's no bull!"

Spark laughed, then pointed out, "You know, technically, we're still at square one. Both of our enemies escaped, and if what The Boy says is true..." Spark shuddered.

Ape10 shrugged. "I'm not worried. We'll beat them in the end. That's what always happens in these types of stories. The good guys win, and then they all ride off into the sunset."

[Being spoiler for -Que Sera Sera highlight to view] As Ape10 and his friends investigate The Boy, shocking predictions about their own futures are uncovered.[end spoiler]

And if I can't have everything, then just give me a taste.

The internet is too big.

Proof. Man, I could (did) spend forever looking at all those links.

Knowledge sucks.






I mean it's great!

Another of them there movie lists.

Just like the fun one that went around a while back, only this one is shorter! The following 77 movies are the winners of the Best Picture Academy Award. I'll bold the ones I've seen.


1927/28 - Wings
1927/28 - Sunrise
1928/29 - The Broadway Melody

1929/30 - All Quiet on the Western Front
1930/31 - Cimarron
1921/32 - Grand Hotel
1932/33 - Cavalcade
1934 - It Happened One Night
1935 - Mutiny on the Bounty
1936 - The Great Ziegfeld
1937 - The Life of Emile Zola
1938 - You Can't Take It With You
1939 - Gone With the Wind

1940 - Rebecca
1941 - How Green Was My Valley
1942 - Mrs. Miniver
1943 - Casablanca
1944 - Going My Way
1945 - The Lost Weekend
1946 - The Best Years of Our Lives
1947 - Gentleman's Agreemant
1948 - Hamlet
1949 - All the King's Men

1950 - All About Eve
1951 - An American in Paris
1952 - The Greatest Show on Earth
1953 - From Here to Eternity
1954 - On the Waterfront
1955 - Marty
1956 - Around the World in 80 Days
1957 - The Bridge on the River Kwai
1958 - Gigi
1959 - Ben-Hur

1960 - The Apartment
1961 - West Side Story
1962 - Lawrence of Arabia
1963 - Tom Jones
1964 - My Fair Lady
1965 - The Sound of Music
1966 - A Man For All Seasons
1967 - In the Heat of the Night
1968 - Oliver!
1969 - Midnight Cowboy

1970 - Patton
1971 - The French Connection
1972 - The Godfather
1973 - The Sting
1974 - The Godfather Part II
1975 - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
1976 - Rocky
1977 - Annie Hall
1978 - The Deer Hunter
1979 - Kramer vs. Kramer

1980 - Ordinary People
1981 - Chariots of Fire
1982 - Gandhi
1983 - Terms of Endearnment
1984 - Amadeus
1985 - Out of Africa
1986 - Platoon
1987 - The Last Emperor
1988 - Rain Man
1989 - Driving Miss Daisy

1990 - Dances With Wolves
1991 - The Silence of the Lambs
1992 - Unforgiven
1993 - Schindler's List
1994 - Forrest Gump
1995 - Braveheart
1996 - The English Patient
1997 - Titanic
1998 - Shakespeare in Love
1999 - American Beauty

2000 - Gladiator
2001 - A Beuatiful Mind
2002 - Chicago
2003 - Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Okay, the 2003 one hasn't happened yet, but c'mon, it's a given. Also, I can't believe how sucky I did in the 80s. I made up for it in the 90s and aughts, though. [grin]

Ape10 episode 2½: The Groundhog Day Special

Winter had come to Azwood, and a bitter cold front had seized the city.

" It's freezing!" Ape10 complained.

"Mehhhhh." Zombielyn mehhed.

"That's easy for you to say," said Spark. "You're dead already. But it is cold. I mean, I can see my breath. And I'm a robot!"

Just then, a groundhog scampered into Ape10's park. It stood up and said, "I need your help."

Ape10 looked at the rodent and said, "Wow! Punxsutawney Phil! Is that you?"

The groundhog looked offended and said, "Pfft. Punxsutawney Phil! That fraud? Just because he got himself a Hollywood agent, everyone thinks he's the only groundhog that can foresee the future. No, I'm not Phil. I'm Azwood Al. And I can predict the future with the best of them. Or at least, I could up until a week ago. That's why I need you.

You see, about a week back, a young child swiped my shadow. Without a shadow, I can't accurately predict the end of winter. Groundhog Day is tomorrow, but if someone doesn't do something, I'm afraid Groundhog Day will have to be cancelled."

Spark gasped. "That child! That's probably the same kid from the first episode!"

"I assumed the same thing, Spark. It appears that we have another nemesis to contend with. And if this youngster is evil enough to ruin Groundhog Day, I fear that this enemy will make Bluebush look like ...well, child's play.
But right now we must try to help Al. Don't worry, Al. You're in good hands."

Just then, Azwood Al shrieked.

Ape10 and Spark turned just in time to see Zombielyn eating Al's brain.

Zombielyn smiled sheepishly, and said, "Gruhhhhh."

Ape10 sighed and said, "Well. Now we have to find a way to really fix Groundhog Day."

Spark said, "I believe I have an idea."

******

"Did it work?" Ape10 asked.

"Like a charm." Spark smiled. " The puppet was flawless. Nobody knew that I was the actual groundhog today. Plus, I made sure that winter will be ending soon."

"That's wonderful!" Ape10 said. "And the other part of the plan?"

"Dr. Setumei said that he would be able to clone a new groundhog from Al's remains. He added that he would make sure that he turned on the Shadow Gene, so future Groundhog Days will be safe once more." Spark concluded happily.

Ape10 smiled and said, "It seems that the Groundhog Day spirit can't be stolen, no matter how hard our enemies may try to stop it. Because the true meaning of Groundhog Day is within all of us."

"Guuuhhhgg!!" Zombielyn said.


Happy Groundhog Day from everyone at Ape10!!

Sometimes, I'm really funny.

That is all.

Secret ...Agent Man

I'm posting at work, which means I must avoid enemy lines. The walls have ears. And eyes. And possibly other organs as well. It's kinda creepy.

The next few days - or weeks, even- are going to be busy. Tomorrow we've got quite a bit to do before I even go to work. But we'll have money again! Huzzah! Money fixes everything.

Tonight I will probably watch Bruce Almighty, since Mike is going to lend it to me. Free movies rule.

I've got lots of onlineness to finish up in the next few days as well. It's all boring, so I won't go into it. It's just the same old thing of feeling like needing to play catchup after being offline for any extended amount of time. Call it the Online Trap. (Not related to the Agricultural Revolution! Trap. [wink]) But, in related news, Jupe, if you're reading this, I should tell you that it might be a little longer before I respond to your email(s). By the end of February, I promise.
And don't even get me started on finishing reading Heath's manuscript. I am so far behind on doing that. I'm deeply ashamed of myself, and I feel like I should apologize (many times) to Heath for how long it's taking me. Gah. Bad friend. Bad critic.

In RL news, the 11th is some Valentine thing for homeschoolers that we're going to attend for the girls. Yay!
Friday the 13th will be the last day that my stepmom is in the house that my parents bought back in '95. Not sure if I blogged about this before or not, but my father has been living in Arizona for the past two months (after he retired from the Air Force, he got a job in AZ. Yeah. I know. Taker Insanity.), and they've finally sold the house here. So the 13th will be a goodbye dinner. Weird.

Before then, we need to arrange to get a truck so that we can pick up the dining room table and hutch that my parents owned (they're getting rid of all the old furniture). Yay for new/used stuff!

And of course, there's the Stupid Bowl coming up on Sunday. I plan on watching for the commercials, although even that doesn't seem all that appealing.
Although - in related news - yesterday we dubbed a Quizno's spot that is...well, you've just got to see it to believe it. I'm thinking that it's going to be a SuperBowl ad, simply because even though it's a horrible spot, it's memorable. Anywhat, we've shown it to several people here at work, and the reaction 90% of the time is "Is this a joke?"
It's...odd.

But the day after SBSunday is Groundhog Day! Yay!! Oddly, we don't have any plans for GHD. Suppose there's still time...

On that note, I must take my leave. The enemy is closing in.

Jupe will like this post.

We ordered pizza from Pizza Hut today, and it was the "4 For All" meal.

What's that? You ask. (I, too, have not seen the ads for it, but I'm sure they'll be coming. This thing is too good for them to not advertise it)

It's a medium square pizza, cut into four mini-personal pizzas. Each of the mini-pizzas is cut into four smaller pieces. AND! each mini-pizza can have it's own individual toppings, up to 3.
Stephanie had green peppers and onions.
Pat had pepperoni and green peppers.
Saren had cheese.
Haprer had pepperoni.

Yummy!!

Speaking of "4"... go and find some of your writing, or, just grab a pen and write the number four. Chances are that the four you draw does not look like this: --> 4
The four you drew most likely has an "open" top. But the fours that computers use (look at your keyboard, or at any of the 4s in my blog...or anywhere else online) have the "triangle" top.

I've looked around, and practically everyone draws their fours with the open top.
And practically every four drawn by computers has the closed, triangle top.

I'm convinced that in the future the way we'll be able to tell computers and humans apart is by the 4 test.

In other news, the Steph made a mondo-huge blog entry, and then the computer shut down. [cryingmonkey] Why must technology mock us? WHY!!!?????

I'm gonna getchya-getchya-getchya-getchya.

One way or another.

So I didn't brush my hair today. Or yesterday, either. I'm going the au natural route. I look like Jesus. Or Darth Vader....with hair. And a beard. Because I've not shaved in the past four days or so, and I think I'm going to grow my facial hair back out.

Saren and I have spent far too long at addictinggames.com the past two days. I suppose they gave themselves that name for a reason, huh? Saren loves SWRON, which is basically that motorcycle game from the movie Tron. ("Has anyone seen the movie Tron?" "No." "No." "No." "No." "No." "Yes....I mean no.")

I prefer the Blockout/Araknoid type games, for mindless fun, and for the ones that require thought, we spent god-only-knows how long playing Chasm (Joe is cute!!) and MOTAS (Mystery of Time and Space). I must go back to the MOTAS game, because it's highly intriguing. And I believe there are others similar to it at that site...

Yesterday I also introduced Saren to the fun that is RPG. I drew a rather small dungeon, then had her roll her dice to determine her Hit Points, Skill, Intelligence, Speed, Magic, Luck, and Silver and Gold levels. Being the DM was fun, but it reminded me of how much my imagination has atrophied. Sheesh, I used to be creative.

Anywhat, Saren loved it, and when we have some cash we'll venture on down to some of the game shops and see if we can find a true D&D (or something like it) manual/starter kit.

Hard to believe that January is almost over. I still haven't finished February's questions, although I've got the first 6...ish done already. Something tells me I'll be creating a lot of non-month-related queries come January 31st...

One way conversations with dead fictional people.

I finished reading Douglas Coupland's Hey Nostradamus! today.

I liked it quite a bit, as I like most of his books. I'd recommend it to anyone that is a fan of his, and to anyone who might not be, it's a pretty quick read.

The book is divided into four segments, each with a character doing first person narratives. The final segment was written by the least sympathetic (or perhaps the most sympathetic, if you want to look at it that way) of anyone in the book, but the ending gave me goosebumps. I'm such a sap. And by "sap", I mean "freak".

The first segment is written by a dead teenage girl, Cheryl, who is a victim of a school shooting in 1988. Coupland's treatment of grisly events - or rather, Cheryl's detatchment to them - was sort of like Slaughterhouse Five, and sort of like one of the stories from Coupland's short story collection, Life After God.

The rest of the book deals with the way the survivors of the High School Massacre that killed Cheryl are dealing with their grief. As in previous works by Coupland, ponderings on religion and belief and the future are sprinkled throughout, and while I may not agree with everything that the characters do, I felt like I could understand where most of them were coming from. And I liked them all. (Except for Reg. But I get the feeling you weren't supposed to)

Heather's section of the book was probably the most depressing. But the weird thing about the book is that even while he's bringing you down (and Coupland can be a downer), he's able to mix in a smattering of hope. It's hard to explain (or at least, it is for me. Lousy inarticulateness.) but I like it.

Douglas Coupland's books make me think, which is a good thing, even if I can't express it clearly.

So, yeah. Hey Nostradamus! gets my vote. But don't take my word for it. *ba-dum-dun!*

Ape10 episode 2 Big Time

Ape10, Zombielyn, and Spark are getting ready to have lunch.
Ape10 has decided to have one of his favorite meals - an apple.
Zombielyn, too, has been looking at her favorite recipes.
Spark, being a robot, doesn't technically require nourishment, but he does enjoy the company. And he secretly likes the taste of Hot Pockets.

Just as our heroes are about to eat, though, the newly installed "Time Disruption" Alarm goes off. "Aw, man." Spark said sourly. "I guess my Hot Pocket will have to wait."

Ape10 looked at the controls and agreed with his robotic pal. "It appears that one of Bluebush's dinowarriors has been spotted in Tokyo. The year 1985."

"To the Time Blender!"

******

As they stepped out of the time-travelling appliance, they wondered where the dinosaur was. "Guhhhuhnih?" Zombielyn asked.

Ape10 looked toward the sky. "I'd say a very large one!"

The extra large creature screeched upon seeing Ape10, and then, to the astonishment of them all, it exhaled a burst of fire directly at them!!
Ape10 and Zombielyn screamed, expecting to be roasted instantly. The flames did not come, though. Spark had stepped in front of the fiery path, taking the brunt of the damage, and saving his friends' lives.

A Japanese scientist who had been hiding in an alley watching this all, called to them. "Robot! Primate! Starlet! Come this way!" Not wanting to die, they followed the person. The man led them to a high-tech underground laboratory and said, "We will be safe here. My name is Dr. Setsumei."

Ape10 shook hands with the Dr. and introduced himself and his companions. "We knew that you had trouble, but we had no idea it was this bad." he concluded.

Zombielyn asked, "Grrrun?"

"Two good questions, Miss Monroe." Dr. Setsumei answered. "I think I know part of the answer. We found a toenail from the animal and I counted the rings. It is apparently 40 years old. Which means that it was here in 1945. The radiation from Hiroshima must have caused the dinosaur to mutate. But my question is - what was a dinosaur doing here in the forties?"

Ape10 explained about Bluebush and his Master Plan.

Dr. Setsumei nodded, then explained, "So the pirate must have placed the dinosaur egg here in 1945. The bomb goes off, and the creature grows as a result. But that doesn't explain why it waited forty years to start attacking."

Zombielyn pointed out the obvious. "Grruhuhuhhhhhh."

"Well," Ape10 asked, "how do we defeat this thing? It's gigantic. I doubt even the three of us could take it in a fight."
"True, Monkeyman. Even the Army has been unable to defeat the fire breathing creature."

While this was going on, Spark had asked Dr. Setsumei if he could heat up his hot pocket in the microwave. Setsumei had said, "Okay" and Spark had walked over to a lot of expensive looking machinery. He placed his Hot Pocket inside a contraption and pushed "Go". There was a whirring noise, followed by a Ding! Spark took his Hot Pocket out of the machine and popped it in his mouth.

Without warning, Spark began to grow larger. In just a few seconds, Spark's head had hit the ceiling. "What's going on??" he asked.

Dr. Setsumei realized instantly what had happened. He yelled to Spark, "You must have eaten my advanced nanotechnology robots! Somehow they combined with your advanced technology insides and instead of producing something very small, they are making you very big!"

By that point, Spark had grown larger than the building they were inside. He now towered at least 500 feet, or some unknown number of meters, tall.

Seizing the opportunity, Spark saw the giant mutated dinosaur. Laughing, he ran toward it. Unfortunately, he destroyed anything in his path.
But, once Spark reached the giant green monster, he simply picked it up, as though it were a toy, and threw it into space.The prehistoric animal disappeared into the vastness of the Milky Way galaxy, never to be seen or heard from again.

The people of Tokyo were relieved (well, except for the guy who lost his car and home) and they considered Spark a hero. "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto!" they shouted.

Dr. Setusemi while glad that the T-rex threat had been removed, was still worried about Spark's growth. He explained to Ape10 and Zombielyn, "Your robotic friend is still in danger. As it is, he is already the largest thing on the planet.If Spark continues to grow, he will become the center of the universe! We must find a way to reverse the effects of the nanotechnology/Hot Pocket combination!"

Ape10 said, "I know! We will simply put him on television! Everyone knows that TV is reality. If we show a small Spark on TV, he will become small again."

Zombielyn pointed out, "Gnuh!!."

"True." Ape10 said. "Wait a minute! Adds 10 pounds! Zombielyn, that's it!"

******

"Rrruhr," Zombielyn grunted.

"It will." Ape10 said. "I hope." And with that, he took a bite of the Hot Pocket.

Soon enough, he began to grow.
Upon seeing that Ape10 had grown, Zombielyn consumed her tasty microwave treat, adding, "Gnerrr."

The threesome then proceeded to feed the entire world Nanotechnology-flavored Hot Pockets so that everyone was the same size.

Shortly, Spark was his original size again. He thanked his primate friend. "At least everything is back to normal. We solved our problem in 22 minutes, and even learned a valuable lesson."

"Which is?" Ape10 asked.

"The moral of the story is, 'History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man'."

Alternate ending 1:

"Adds ten pounds! Zombielyn, that's it!" Ape10 dashed off. He made a few phone calls, and arranged to have Giant Spark broadcast worldwide.

"Geeerrrrrrruhhhuh." Zombielyn said.

"It would," Ape10 agreed, "but we're not showing him through a normal tv lens. Instead, we'll be looking at him through a giant telescope....backwards. That way, he'll appear really tiny. Wham! Spark will be back to normal again!"

And it worked.
Millions of people watched their televisions that night, and saw tiny Spark. When critical mass had been reached, the robot shrank back to his original size.

Shortly, Spark was his original size again. He thanked his primate friend. "At least everything is back to normal. We solved our problem in 22 minutes, and even learned a valuable lesson."

"Which is?" Ape10 asked.

"The moral of the story is, 'The size of your body doesn't matter, the size of your microwave does'."


Alternate Ending 2:

"Adds 10 pounds! Zombielyn, that's it!" Ape10 turned to the scientist and asked for the toenail. Dr. Sutesami gave it to the primate, who then ran up to his robot friend, and using the claw, poked a hole in him. Within minutes,
the mechanical man began to deflate.

Shortly, Spark was his original size again. He thanked his primate friend. "At least everything is back to normal. We solved our problem in 22 minutes, and even learned a valuable lesson."

"Which is?" Ape10 asked.

"The moral of the story is, 'Be careful with Hot Pockets'."

[Being spoiler for -How the West Was 011101110110111101101110 highlight to view]Azwood is attacked by a gang of Minotaurs. Ape10 and Zombielyn must ward them off. Meanwhile, Spark visits the Old West [end spoiler]

M is for monkey. That's good enough for me.

Happy Year of the Monkey!

The sad thing is, I'm sure I'll keep signing my checks with roosters for another week or two. [tongue]

Angel was Yayish. Smallville made my inner geek dance with joy.

Um. What else?

Oh. The two things from Alias - Jack Bristow yells whenever he is online. What CIA agent uses all caps all the time? (In real life, I mean)
#2) Steph pointed out that SpyDaddy was reading one of the books from the Series of Unfortunate Events books. Heh.

My hands are cold. I must work on Ape10 tonight. And go to the WD and see what people are saying about last night's Angel. So much for sleep, huh?

OUTLOOK GOOD

If it says so.

I'm kinda hungry. Not hongry, but...

Bah. I don't want to blog. I don't want to not blog. I stayed up far too late last night working on Ape10. And becuase we had a gallon of Pepsi. A GALLON!!!

I only had two things to say about Yaylias, but I'll wait and see if Steph wants to blog about them first.

In the meantime, I'll say that One Tree Hill could very well be the most boring drama the WB has ever aired. EVER. I dread Tuesdays because of it. It is the current bane of my TV existence.

Today's word of the day (not from dictionary.com, but from one that Steph gets mailed to her) is Crapulent. Heee! That's like excellent and crap put together!

Bah. Need to go take care of things. Why does life have to interfere with me being lazy all the time? Lousy ...life.

In good news, though, new Ape10 should be up ...oh, let's give me a week, just to be safe. [up]

That which you fear the most could meet you half way.

It's time for another Hyperthought? entry! Again, I'm exhausted, but my brain is running like Carl Lewis. Or someone fast. Speedy Gonzalez, perhaps. Undale! (heh. I'm sure that's totally misspelled)

So yesterday didn't get better, but my outlook did. Weird, huh?

Turns out that yes, they did leave off the day of overtime (it was the 28th of December) but that it was intentional. Sort of.

Our pay system is completely whacked. We get paid for the days that we worked, except that overtime and holiday pay are held back a period. So this check I just got on the 15th had the extra money for working Xmas day on it. And it should have (imo) had the 28th as well. I went to HR and discovered, though, that the cut-off date was the 27th. So anyone who had overtime for the 28th, 29th, 30th, or 31st of December will get it on the next check.

Also included in our next check will be the raise (although nobody seems to know how much...[eyebrow]) that we are due. I guess this makes sense, seeing how they're not really paying us for the beginning of the new year yet. ...Except that they are...because the new rates for insurance have kicked in. 45 bucks every paycheck. And that's the cheapest family rate. [sigh] But, what are you gonna do? Starve?

So, anyway, besides figuring all that stuff out, yesterday was action packed.
I mean to say, "Yesterday was...ACTION PACKED!!!"

We went grocery shopping, and I made a rather odd observation. Packages of cat food usually have pictures of the cat - and the human owner. Dog food, on the other hand, generally only show the dog. Occasionaly (especially dog biscuits) there will be a human hand on the package, but no face. I haven't done enough investigating to determine if this observation is 100% accurate, but it sems to skew that way. I have no idea what this means (if anything) but there ya have it.

After stocking up on food (so I guess the answer to my favorite question is "No." ...at least for now), it was time for me to go to work. We hadnt' eaten lunch yet, so we left early in order to make a stop at Taco Bell on the way. The universe had other things in mind, though, because there was an accident on the freeway that slowed us down enough that we had to bypass the meal and take me straight to work.

Steph took Harper back to pick up lunch while Saren came inside the station. She was extremely popular. It's so much fun bringing her there. I wish I could keep her there.

After Stephanie arrived with the food and we ate, the girls left and I got to work. It was a super busy day, which was good in that it kept me occupied and made the time pass quicker ("That's good!") but bad in that I am lazy and dislike working. ("That's bad!")

Anywhat, at work Lorne asked me to do him a favor. Being a nice person, I agreed. Being a generous person, he offered me compensation. I tried to refuse it at first, but he insisted. And that is how we wound up with our very first DVD. It's The Order with Heath Ledger. I guess we'll see how it is once we get around to owning a DVD player.
I had some mega lame joke about how most people get the DVD player first, then DVDs, but we didn't do it in "that Order", but, as you can tell by reading it, it's too lame. So...um...just pretend you didn't read that last sentence.

As Stephanie explained, when she was at her dad's house, the seal for the radiator fell off. What she did not explain (because it hadn't happened yet) was that because of the missing seal, when she came to pick me up from work, the car overheated.

She managed to get it to a nearby 7-11 and cool it down enough that she could drive to my work. Once there, we sat in the parking lot for at least half an hour, letting it cool down so we could put more water in. The girls were not happy.

Long story short (too late) we filled the radiator with more H2O, then drove home. It made it, but for the unforeseeable future, I'll be taking the bus to work. And back home again. Fun.

Erm. Wow. I guess I have disengaged Hyperthought?, because as soon as I typed the 'n' in 'Fun', my brain just blanked. I'm pretty sure that I've said everything I wanted to. If not, I know where to find me.

Who invented mornings?

I hate that person. I bet it was...oh, I don't even know who it was. But they're bastards, whoever they are. And I hope they have their testicles (or the testicles of a loved one, maybe) bitten off by a rhino.

I was [i]this[/i] close to quitting today. And I haven't even gone to work yet! (Well, I did to pick up my paycheck, but I didn't have to do any actual work - not that I do actual work when I'm [i]there[/i]...)

But, yeah. Still no raise. Which we're supposed to get every year. And this year we (apparently) did not. Fuck that. Also, I think (but am not sure, because I am stupid and did not keep track) but I [i]think[/i] that they screwed me out of at least a day of overtime.

Plus, Angel was crappy last night. Crappy!!

And my hands are freezing.

In addition, ...damnit. I've forgotten. But I know something else was pissing me off. I'm the grumpy old troll today. I think it's because I had to wake up early. Bgargh! OH! I remember! I still haven't worked on February's questions for that 'boq a month' thing I was gonna do. And January is half over. AND I still haven't done any work on episode 2 of Ape10.

And I used markup instead of HTML at the beginning of this rant.











And I'm hungry.
[/rant]

Here's hopin' the day gets better.

Or, more accurately, here's hopin' that my outlook on the day gets better. Yeah.

Reminderoma

Reminder: Stephanie, record the new episode of Angel tonight.

Reminder: P@, bring a notebook to work, that way when ideas for Ape10 come to you, you cna jot them down.

Reminder: P@, go back and edit the word 'cna' to the word 'can', since 'cna' is not truly a word.

Reminder: Joss, if you're going to bring any old Buffy cast members onto Angel this season, I vote for Xander. Or Dawn. I've always wanted to see Dawn/Angel interaction. (Not in that way, you pervs!)

Reminder: Let Lisa know you got her email, and you're glad she's okay.

Reminder: Steph, don't forget about Angel!!

From the future!!

Mostly I'm testing to see if you set the time and/or date differently, if it will instantly blog when the time arrives.

But while I'm here, may as well state a few thoughts I had last night before going to sleep.

1) I don't know if Valerie watches Alias or not, but if she does, last night's episode must have given her about a kajillion orgasms. That thing was packed with continuity.

b) Thank you everyone for your kind words about the first episode of Ape10. Other episodes will be forthcoming. I realize that MvD wasn't perfect, but overall I'm pretty happy with it. Big Time should be just as good.

Thirdly) Um. What was the third thing? Oh. I was going to issue a challenge to everyone to try to make an entry on their blog that:
[-] was about whatever they wanted
[-] was at least 8 words long
and
[-] contained an 'e' in every word. (Or, put another way - Every single utterance does have 'e'.) I was even thinking that I'd give points, and whoever created the sentences with the most 'e' words would win.

IV) Well, the fourth thing is something I'll post at another time. Just a thought I've been having about stuff.

Now, if this works, it should show up in about five minutes. Let's find out.

Ape10 episode 1: Monkey vs. Dinosaur

Azwood. 65 million years ago.

An ankylosaurus walks by the lush landscape, bored. A loud grating noise, similar to when you attempt to start a car engine that is already running, emits from the air.

An eletric crackle, followed by lightning and smoke and then an ear-splitting "BOOM!" When the dust and smoke cleared, a silver box was left standing. The box opened, and a strange, implike, presidental creature with blue skin stepped out. (It's not him)

The ankylosaurus, upon seeing this, shook it's head slowly and said, in a meloncholy voice, Ruur!!.

Azwood. Present day.

Ape10 was relaxing, chatting with his friends Spark the robot, and Zombielyn Monroe.

"...and that's why they call it the blues." Spark concluded.

Just then, a small figure wearing a hood and cloak entered Ape10's park. Ape10 noticed, sat up and examined what was obviously a child. However, it was unclear whether it was a boy or a girl. Spark and Zombielyn turned to see what had gotten Ape10's attention. They all stared as the child walked toward the primate. It was rare for them to receive visitors at all, let alone someone so small in stature, and donning such unusual clothing.

Ape10 was the first to speak. "May I help you?" he asked. (Many people reacted badly to hearing a nonhuman speak, but it had been Ape10's experience that children were rather accepting of his unique abilities.)

The child stopped, and presented Ape10 with a sheet of paper. Ape10 took the paper, and tried to gaze at the young person's face, but could not get a clear look. The eyes were visible under the hood, but not much else. Ape10's gut told him that there was something off about this child.

He looked down at the paper that had been handed to him, and read what it said. Instantly alarmed, he looked up to ask the child where this information had come from. But the stranger had disappeared.

Ape10 showed the paper to Spark and Zombielyn. "I don't know who that was, but if this information is accurate, we need to go to the Time Blender right away."

Zombielyn growled, ""Grrahuh!"

Spark nodded. "Neither do I. There was something not quite right about that human. Besides, this could very well be a trap."

Ape10 agreed. "True. I, too, felt that the child was not to be trusted. However, this" (he shook the paper) "is too dangerous to ignore. I say we go to the Time Blender and take care of it. And if it is a trap..." Ape10 morphed into a gorilla, then finished, "...we'll be ready for it."

The trio climbed into the Time Blender, and Spark adjusted the controls. Once everything was set, there was a twip!, and the giant machine with a monkey, a robot, and a zombie disappeared into the distant past.

*****

"Are we there?" Ape10 asked once they had arrived.
Spark inspected the controls, then said, "Yes. We are 65 million years ago. 65,341,401 years, to be exact."

Zombielyn smiled and said, "Gnnnnnuuh!!"

The trio emerged from the Time Blender into the strange surroundings of the Paleoithic. The trees were huge. The insects were huge. As they looked around, Zombielyn asked, "Rnuh?"

Spark said, "Yes. My sensors indicate that we are surrounded by prehistoric creatures. And..."
At that moment, several dozen velociraptors emerged from the bushes, followed by the person controlling them, Bluebush the Pirate.

"Bluebush." Ape10 said with a sneer, showing his teeth.

"Yarh." Bluebush said. "Tis 'bout time ye showed up."

Ape10 glared at his enemy, then said, "Well, are you going to explain your Master Plan? That's what you villians do at this stage, isn't it?"

The pirate looked contemplative, then said, "All right, ye stinkin' monkey. My plan is this - I will steal these terrible lizards from the past, train them to be obidient to me, and together we will defeat the Axis of Evil. Arrgh. Imagine it. T-rex versus terrorism. There's no way they stand a chance. Ha ha ha! And nobody can stop me. Not even ye!"

Ape10 shook his head. "You're wrong, Bluebush. We are gonna kick Jurassic."

Bluebush frowned, then said, "You'll have to get through my army first. And even if ye do, I've already sent three of my greatest dinowarriors through to various points on the timeline. You'll never find them all! Arrr!"

The blue man then ordered the dinosaurs to attack. Ape10 grabbed a stick and began to beat the reptiles. Zombielyn kicked, scratched, and punched. Then did what zombies love to do - she ate their brains. Spark was able to defeat the remainder of the dinosaurs using his incredible robot strength!!

Once the threat was nullified, our heroes looked around and discovered that Bluebush had disappeared. The wily politician had managed once again to allude capture.

Sighing, Ape10 and his friends went back to the Time Blender and returned to the present. They needed to plan what to do about Bluebush's plan, and the misplaced dinosaurs.

Back at Ape10's headquarters, Ape10 went over the questions that were bothering him. "Where could Bluebush have put the three dinosaurs? What effect on the timeline will they have? How did Bluebush aqcuire time travel capabilities?"

Zombielyn added, "Gnuh."

Spark nodded at that, and added, "And why was this episode called Monkey vs. Dinosaur when in fact, you are not a monkey, but an ape?"

[Being spoiler for -Big Time highlight to view]An accident involving nanotechnology causes Spark to grow to ginarmous size. [end spoiler]

Nervous.

One day! Less, really. Sometime tomorrow, Ape10 debuts. Eeee!
I'm worried that I've hyped it up too much (me? hype? never.) and that it'll bomb. But as Stephanie told me earlier, "I'll like it, and that's all that matters." Too true. And besides, when it comes down to it, I'm really doing it for myself.

Well, and a little bit for Saren. [grin]

In other news, I'm reading Stargirl right now, and it's quite good. Oddly, I can't seem to get into any books that aren't written for young adults. Huh.

The P@rix Reloaded

Heh. You have no idea how long I've wanted to use that title.

So, yeah. New layout. It's so awesome. Hee. My wife is the best.

And in less than two days, the first episode will premiere. Less than two days!!

Speaking of two days, for the past, I've had a killer headache. I need to drink more water. And perhaps get some aspirin (or whatever it is that doesn't kill me) into my system.

We're waking up early tomorrow. Fun!

Engage Hyperthought™!!

My body is exhausted, but my brain is racing a gabillion miles per second. There are half a dozen things I want to blog about, and the ol' gray matter is trying to make them all come out at once. I even jotted down notes so I wouldn't forget any of them. (YAY DORK!!)

Two days back we embarked on a secret adventure. Stephanie discovered this ...thing...called Letterboxing. Apparently it's a lot like Geocaching, only a little different. People go and hide a box with a stamp and a book in it, and then provide clues. You then follow the clues until you find the box, and then place an image of your own stamp in the book, and stamp their stamp into your own keepsake. (I'm explaining it poorly, but it's fun.)

We had to buy our family stamp (we picked a frog) and a book to start collecting the other stamps in, and then we proceeded to follow the clues to our first letterbox. (The site for the North American Letterboxing people is here. A few other people had already left behind their stamps, which was kinda neat. In fact, two of them were from San Diego! Plus the idea that hundreds (thousands??) of people pass this box daily with no clue that it is there just adds to the intrigue and the specialness of the whole ordeal.

The only downside was when we were putting the box back, Saren hit her head on a stairwell. So now we're going to sue the people who put the box there. [tongue]

We do plan on doing other letterboxing adventures in upcoming days. And eventually, we'll of course hide our own box for other people to find. Yay for free and fun things to do!!

Speaking of Saren - the other day we were playing Risk, and at one point she totally proved she was my daughter. She was attacking me. Ontario into Alberta. When I told her the names of the countries, she giggled and said, "Alberta you can't win this fight!" Yay dork!! [grin]

So yesterday before work I was websurfing, and I stumbled across Bush in 30 seconds, a site that is having a contest wherein people are asked to create ads that sum up the Bush administrations policies in a 30 second commercial. I've only watched a few of them, but they're quite creative and a pretty funny.

Then, at work they did a freakin' story on the site! Like I've said before, never underestimate the power of coincidence.

Anywhat, the story was about how the site had originally had two ads that compared Bush to Hitler. (Something I think I've done (vaguely) here before...) The ads were pulled from the competition, never made it on air of television, and moveon.org (the site that is sponsoring the contest) issued statements saying that they felt that those ads were in poor taste and that the ads were not endorsed by any of them. (Which, duh!. They pulled the ads from the internet. And DUH! the things were created by individuals entering the contest, not the site itself.) But, despite saying all that, my FUCKING NEWS has to go and have a STUPID FUCKING QUESTION OF THE DAY about it. The question of the day was "Did Moveon.org go too far by having ads comparing George Bush to Hitler?"

They didn't!! Jesus Christ people are stupid. I went to the site at work and voted "NO" several times (I'm not sure if it took more than once, but the fact that I could vote multiple times meant I was going to.) I was going to blog about this at work yesterday, and ask everyone here to go to the site and vote 'no', just to try and teach the fuckers a lesson. However, work interferred, and I was unable to blog while there. I suppose there might still be time, if you're so inclined to spend a few seconds of your life. (The last time I checked the results of the poll - last night- "no" had only 35% of the vote. [sigh]) Anywhat the site is here, if you want.

Also work related, apparently THE CEO of Sinclair Broadcasting will be in town next week. Everyone at work seems to think this is some kind of Second Coming or something. I've never met the guy before, but I have a feeling that he's flesh and bone, just like the rest of us. [shrug]

Yesterday, a bunch of monkeys beat the tar out of a giant crocodile type thing. (I beat K.Rool, the final "boss" on Donkey Kong64)

Annika asked what I was trying to do (in response to the other entry, re:HTML) - Two things. One - make a new template. (Stephanie has done a pretty damn good job in that regard, and I'll probably have that implemented later tonight, or tomorrow)
Two - work on ...the project. And that ...well, I've found some stuff out, and while HTML is still sometimes a motherfuck, it's manageable. Speaking of the project - only 3 days until it debuts!
THREE DAYS!!

And of course, today is the birthday of Lisa (imissoz). "Lisa, it's your birthday! Happy Birthday, Lisa!" [/Bart Simpson and Michael Jackson]

I had an Alias dream that I originally wanted to blog about, but it's pretty much faded from memory.

And lastly, I must issue thanks to the Jupe for helping me find the Charcter Map. "Yarh!"[/Skully]

Palpable. The excitement in the air is just palpable. Can you feel it?

2004, or, as I started to write it, @))$, is gonna be a kick-ass year. I just know it.

I mean, year of the monkey? 2004? It's got awesome written all over it.

Also, a year that begins with:

• Buying 4 calendars
  
• Me blogging at work
  
• Papa John's Pizza for lunch
  
• Pepsi
  
• A new template
  
• Getting paid overtime
  
• Steph figuring out our finances and seeing we'll probably have extra money left over at the end of the month
  and
  
• Other stuff
  

Can't be bad at all. Yes, the arbitrary date of twothousandfour is gonna rule. Mark my words.