Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Ape10 episode 3:
How the West Was 011101110110111101101110

Spark walked into the park, looking for Ape10 and Zombielyn. He had exciting news to show them.
Ape10 was there, looking somewhat sad.

Seeing the look on his friend's face, Spark asked, "What's wrong?"

Ape10 sighed and said, "Our enemies seem to be one step ahead of us. Sure, we managed to defeat one of Bluebush's dinowarriors, but there are still two more out there. And now, this child who stole the shadow off a groundhog...It's as though the whole world is against us."

"Well, this ought to cheer you up. Read this article." Spark handed the primate the newspaper. Looking at it, Ape10 grinned. "This is fantastic! Let's get in the Time Blender, and capture him while we still can!"

"I felt the same way." Spark agreed. "Where's Zombielyn?"

Ape10 uttered, "Doh! I forgot, she's out shopping at the Azwood West Mall. She should be..."
Just then, Ape10's cell phone rang. Looking at the display, Ape10 saw that it was Zombielyn calling. "That's convienent," he said, then answered the phone.
"Ape10 here, talk to me."
The ape listened, then said into the phone - "All right, Zombielyn, I'll be there in a few minutes." He hung up, then addressed Spark. "I've got to go to the Azwood West Mall. Zombielyn is there, along with our other nemesis. And apparently, he wants to speak with me."
Spark asked, "What about Bluebush?"
" I still think mixing sci-fi and westerns is a crazy idea, but go ahead and apprehend him, if you can. Maybe we'll capture both of our enemies at once!" Ape10 concluded happily.


Spark entered the newspaper building, and asked to see the reporter who had written the article about Bluebush. He was directed toward the back, among all the printing equipment.
A young man was working on the equipment, obviously preparing the next day's news. Spark tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Excuse me."

The man turned around and Spark gasped, " Mark Twain!"

The reporter chuckled and said, "No, good sir, my name is Samuel Clemens. But I see that you've got an interest in that article I wrote. What can I do for you?"

Spark got over his celebrity-induced shock and got to business. "Yes. I'm looking for the blue-skinned man you wrote about recently. Can you tell me where he is, by chance?"

The writer nodded. "Yes indeed, metallic stranger. That card-player is most likely in the Gosh Darn Saloon, over cross yonder. There's something...odd about him. But he can play cards like nobody's business."

Spark thanked him, and walked out. The man shook his head and muttered, "Mark Twain. I like the sound of that..."

Spark saw the Gosh Darn Saloon, and pushed open the swinging doors.


Ape10 walked past several of the stores in the mall, marvelling at the names. Pencil Sharpening Emporium... 8-track Central ...Shoelace Depot ...Man, Ape10 thought, they sell everything here.

He found Zombielyn and the youngster in the food court. The child was a boy, who looked to be about 8 years old. He had sandy blond hair, and looked rather average. If Ape10 hadn't known better, he'd have never had pegged him as a criminal mastermind.

The boy spoke before Ape10 or Zombielyn could say anything. "Ape10! I knew you would come. You're so predictable. It's almost too..."

Ape10 could take no more insults. He began to shout questions at the boy. "Who are you? How did you know about Bluebush's dinosaur-stealing plan? What did you do with Azwood Al's shadow? Where the hell are your parents?"

The boy glared up at Ape10 and said, "I'm The Man." He frowned, then added, "Or, I will be, once I grow up. For now, I guess I'm just The Boy. Which isn't nearly as menancing, I admit.

Regardless, it is a given that I will become The Man. And when that happens, the world will be mine. MINE!!!!"

Zombielyn said, "Ahhhh-haa!"

The Boy nodded. "Correct, Miss Monroe. The shadow told me much about my future."

"Well, The Boy," Ape10 interrupted, "I hate to disappoint such a charming individual as yourself, but I won't allow you to grow to become The Man, regardless of what the shadow told you."

The Boy chuckled and said, "I do believe that I am the one in charge here. And I'm afraid that you are the one that will not have much of a future. Minotaurs!!"
With that command, a small army of minotaurs appeared, surrounding Zombielyn and Ape10.

The Boy bowed slightly to the primate and the zombie. "Miss Monroe. Ape10. It's been fun. Pity you have to die now." And then he turned and disappeared out of the mall.

"Fuuuuuuugh." Zombielyn said.


Spark looked around the interior of the Gosh Darn Saloon. The place consisted of the typical outlaws, thieves, and band of buggered. Over in a dark corner sat Bluebush, playing cards with a group of no-goodians.

Spark first walked to the bar. "Barkeep! I would like a glass of your best ale! And a Hot Pocket!"

The bartender slid the beer to the robot and said, "I don't know what a Hot Pocket is, Mister. That some sort of drink?"

Spark took his alcohol and said, "Never mind. This will do." He then made his way over to the table that Bluebush the pirate was sitting at. "Excuse me, gentlemen. I'm here to play cards with that fellow right there." He pointed at Bluebush.
The pirate scowled. Recognizing Spark, but not wanting to risk being captured, he decided to play along.
"Arr. Sit downs, mister, and we'll deal." After Spark sat down, Bluebush asked, "So, what game shall we play? Poker? Blackjack? War? I likes War. Arrrrr."

Spark said, "How about ....Go Fish."

The crowd that had gathered around to watch, gasped in unison.

Bluebush regained his composure and said, "Aye. Go Fish it be."

As he was dealing the cards, he asked, "Ye aren't afraid to make the game more ...interesting, are ye? A wager, of some sorts?"

"Absolutely," Spark said. "How about, the loser has to leave the West and never return?"

Bluebush chuckled. " Ye got it!"

Spark looked at the hand he had been dealt. Such luck! He was guaranteed to win, but he didn't let it show. Spark had a great Go Fish face. He put his fours down, leaving just the one card in his hand. He shouted "Uno!" and watched as Bluebush looked rather uncomfortable. The crowd murmured to itself - nobody had beaten Bluebush before!

A bearded older gentleman leaned over to Bluebush and whispered some advice to him.

"Have ye...." and before he finished asking, the pirate had upturned the table and run out of the Gosh Darn saloon. Spark followed, just in time to see Bluebush hop on a horse and gallop away. Grumbling, Spark found a horse and got on it. He tried to give chase, but, since it was the robot's first time on a stallion, he was unable to get it to cooperate. Bluebush had escaped yet again.


In the Azwood West Mall, Ape10 and Zombielyn were trying to fight off the minotaurs. Zombielyn said, "Grrrraaaa!!"

Ape10 noticed they were next to Cattle Prods R Us. "Zombielyn!! Look!" He pointed at the storefront, and they went inside.

It was a mere matter of minutes later that they had managed to rustle the minotaurs together into a small enclosed area. "Well, we've got them captured," Ape10 said, "but what should we do with them? It's not like we can keep them here forever."

Zombielyn said with just a tint of evil in her voice, "Guuuh."

One of the minotaurs looked worried.


Back in the park, the trio were sharing their adventures with each other.
Ape10 was concluding, "And we even made some money, selling the cheeseburgers!"

Zombielyn said, "Yuuuuuhhm."
Ape10 agreed, "And that's no bull!"

Spark laughed, then pointed out, "You know, technically, we're still at square one. Both of our enemies escaped, and if what The Boy says is true..." Spark shuddered.

Ape10 shrugged. "I'm not worried. We'll beat them in the end. That's what always happens in these types of stories. The good guys win, and then they all ride off into the sunset."

[Being spoiler for -Que Sera Sera highlight to view] As Ape10 and his friends investigate The Boy, shocking predictions about their own futures are uncovered.[end spoiler]

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