Sunday, December 14, 2003

Tiresome thoughts. Or, "You have what you want! Give de peeple ahir!"

So, driving around, I see hundreds or thousands of vehicles, each one with tires (of course).

That in and of itself is pretty darn amazing. Tires, I mean. The fact that a two ton piece of metal is able to move, being carried by nothing other than four pieces of rubber filled with air...sounds almost science fictiony.

But tires wear down. The treads on your car's wheels eventually thins, and they need to be replaced.

Which begs the question...where are the tire treads going? Are we breathing in used tire particles? Yuck.

Speaking of tires - what about all that air that is trapped inside them? The amount of breathable oxygen on the planet must be finite. I wonder what percentage of it is being held hostage within tires. I think I'll go through the neighborhood and begin freeing the air. (ie, deflating people's tires) Sure, people may be pissed off when they can't drive places, but I think they'll thank me when I point out to them that they'll be able to actually breathe as a result.

Or, you know, my next post may be done from jail.

On a semirelated note - the amount of people on the planet (6 billion and growing) is a hell of a lot higher than it was, well, any time in the past, really. We all know that that's a bad thing, but something that is probably very commonly overlooked is the fact that all of these extra people, on top of taking up extra space, and eating extra food, are also taking up extra air.

I propose we go the Spaceballs route, and that air become a commodity. That'll solve lots of things. Plus, we'll have the chance to meet Yogurt. That guy was comedic gold.

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