Sunday, February 20, 2005

Is tomorrow Liar's Day?

No, wait, that's April 1st, not President's Day. Although, you know, presidents do lie. (It's that whole "being human" thing that does it to them.) Even "Honest" Abe, and George "I Can Not Tell A Lie" Washington. Oddly enough, the only president I can think of that has never told a lie is George W. Bush.


But, yeah, tomorrow, Feb. 21st, is President's Day. Which means that many stores will have special sales. Because many presidents like to shop? And they all like to save money. I mean, really, listen to them. They all go on and on and on about the budget, so I suppose it makes sense that there would be sales on their day.

My real point, though, is that once upon a time, the celebration was known as Washington's Birthday and Lincoln's Birthday. We had two days. Now, though, they've combined them into one. It's wrong! WRONG!! People complain about Xmas being all commercialized, and how we forget that Jesus is the reason for the season. But what about President's Day? Huh? I mean, if Abraham Lincoln hadn't been born in a manger, and then crucified on a cherry tree chopped down by George Washington after Rutherford B. Hayes sold him out for 30 pieces of silver, where would be? I'll tell you where we'd be - we'd be in America.
But it would be an America that didn't have President's Day! And that would mean that Toyota wouldn't have an excuse for selling overpriced vehicles at a slightly lower cost. And that, my friends, is no America I want to live in.

I think we need a catchy slogan, similar to the "Jesus is the reason for the season" tagline used by the Christians, you know, to help people remember that the day is not just for going out to purchase discounted mattresses, it's also to honor the rich white men that have done so much for us (and for the world) over these thousands of years. Maybe something like: "Bush is the Push for the Mush" or "The Prez sayz: 'Go Shop!'" I don't know. Maybe I'll write Bush, and have him create a committee to create a slogan.

Of course, they would have to wait until Tuesday to start on it. Monday is a holiday, ya know.

1 comment:

Amy said...

I'm pretty sure that you should send this letter to your congressman.