Once more, with feeling.

Interview with the Magic 8-ball, part III.

Magic 8-ball, do you know the outcome of the presidential election?
YES
DEFINITELY

Ooh! Now we're getting somewhere! Magic 8-ball, will you tell us the outcome?
YES
DEFINITELY

Awesome! Well worth the wait. (I hope) Okay, Magic 8-ball, is the president going to be John Kerry?
IT IS CERTAIN

Really. So George W. Bush is going to lose?
YES

Will there be rioting or lawsuits or a mass exodus to Canada as a result?
BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW

That bodes well. Magic 8-ball, are you just making these results up to make people feel better?
MOST LIKELY

Well, now we just have to see how accurate the 8-ball is. But, really, how wrong can a piece of liquid filled plastic be?