Taking Simpsons Tests, so you don't have to.

You scored as Homer Simpson. You're Homer Simpson Homer Simpson 50% Groundskeeper Willie 38% Dr. Nick 31% Chief Wiggum 31% Bart Simpson 31% Lisa Simpson 25% Mr. Burns 25% Waylon Smithers 25% Marge Simpson 19% Maggie Simpson 0% Which Simpsons Character are you most like? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Marge. Lisa 56% Marge 56% Homer 56% Flanders 50% Grandpa 50% Bart 33% Milhouse 28% Moe 22% Mr.Burns 11% Police chief wiggam 11% Mrs. Krabbapal 6% Comic book guy 0% principal Skinner 0% Smithers 0% what simpsons character are you created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Lisa. You scored as Lisa. You are smarter then most people and are proud of it! Flaunt your stuff! Lisa 70% Homer 50% Maggie 40% Bart 30% Marge 10% **What Simpsons character are you?** created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Lisa. You scored as lisa. You are very smart and know your music. But because of that you are teased. Don't feel youwill ruleone day. Lisa 83% Mr.Burns 75% Barney 67% Marge 50% Homer 50% Bart 33% Which simpsons charecter are you? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Homer. Homer Simpson. You enjoy food and telivsion above all other things in life, you also have a disregard for personal hygene. Homer 53% Bart 50% Marge 40% Lisa 23% Ned Flanders 23% Mrs Lovejoy 20% Nelson 3% Who is your simpsons alter ego? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as The simpsons. The simpsons 69% Simpsons 69% The simpson family 25% bart 25% What character are you?from the simpsons created with QuizFarm.com

(this one was the one that made the least sense so far.)

You scored as Santa's Little Helper. Well done, being a dog isn't the worst thing, but it is pretty bad. Santa's Little Helper 42% Homer 33% Lisa 33% Marge 25% Maggie 17% Bart 0% What Character from The Simpsons Are You created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as BART SIMPSON. EAT MY SHORTS. AYCARUMBA. GET BENT. YOU ARE BART. YOU ARE A JOKER, AND YOU ARE AN EVIL TWIN. BART SIMPSON 89% LISA SIMPSON 44% KRUSTY THE CLOWN 39% ABE SIMPSON 28% SEYMOR SKINNER 22% SIDE SHOW BOB 17% MAGGIE SIMPSON 17% MARGE SIMPSON 11% C. MONTGOMERY BURNS 11% HOMER SIMPSON 6% What Simpsons Character Are You??? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Homer. u r homer simpson...the head of the household...ur very funny, but u should lay off the sweets and alchohal Homer 39% Marge 18% Lisa 14% Ned 11% Bart 7% Ralph 0% Maggie 0% Da SiMpSoNs...WHICH R U created with QuizFarm.com

(holy christ. spell check is not this person's friend)

You scored as Grandpa Simpson. You are Abraham "Grandpa" Simpson. Homer Simpson 63% Lisa Simpson 63% Grandpa Simpson 63% Marge Simpson 50% Ned Flanders 50% Bart Simpson 38% Maggie Simpson 0% Which "Simpsons" character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Otto. You are most like Otto Mann! Ned 58% Dr. Hibbert 58% Otto 58% Ms. Krabappel 58% Comic Book Guy 50% Sideshow Bob 42% Barney 42% Krusty 33% Martin 33% Mr Burns 33% Carl 25% Ralph 25% Apu 25% Nelson 0% Which character from "The Simpsons" TV Show Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Lisa. You're Lisa- you're in the 2nd grade but you spell at a 12th grade level. You read encyclopedias for fun, are a vegetarian, and are eager to learn about life. Your family doesn't appreciate you for the genius you are.

Which Springfield resident are you? (From the Simpsons)
created with QuizFarm.com



Okay. There are still about five more tests at the site, but I think we get the point. The point is, of course, that QuizFarm and The Simpsons should never be mixed. And that while QuizFarm is doing wonders for my word count, maybe I should find someplace else (or at least another topic) to get quiz results from.

An XmasX question

People always ask after Giftmas, "What did you get?" (which simply demonstrates the fact that it is all about presents)

I suggest a new question be asked on Boxing Day instead:

What did you give?

Saying this now, in case I can't later

It's nearly 1:00 am on December 25th, which means it is time for the traditional phrases of the holiday season. I need to blog them now, at this super early hour in case the business (or busy-ness) of the day prevents me from doing so at a later time:

Merry Humbug!!

and

God Damn Us, Everyone!!

So, however you celebrate, or don't, I hope you enjoy your last Sunday of 2005!!

And now, the exciting conclusion!

We misplaced the advent calendar, so for the past couple of days I was worried I'd not know how it ended. But we found it this morning, so here's the story in its entirety:


In the days when Herod was king of Judea, Mary was visited by an angel.
The angel said, "You shall bear a son and call him Jesus."
In those days, everyone went to the city of his ancestors to be taxed.
Joseph had to go to Bethlehem, the city of David.
Joseph and Mary made the long journey together.
When they reached Bethlehem, the city was filled with people.
There was no room for Mary and Joseph at the inn.
Mary and Joseph had to stay in a stable.
That night, Jesus was born.
Mary laid Jesus in a manger to sleep.
Out in the fields, some shepherds were watching their flocks.
A great light flashed, and the shepherds were afraid.
An angel appeared and said, "Good news! A savior is born!"
The angel told them to go find Jesus in the stable and worship Him.
Then many other angels appeared, singing, "Glory to God".
The shepherds hurried to find Jesus.
They found Him in the stable with Mary and Joseph.
The shepherds knelt down and worshiped Jesus.
A star shone over the stable where Jesus was.
Three wise men in a distant land saw the star.
These wise men traveled a long way to find the Baby Jesus.
They brought gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. (because what newborn doesn't want that!?)
When they saw Jesus, the wise men worshiped Him.
May the joy of the first Christmas be with you always.

And to quote Homer: "And did you know that that Baby Jesus grew up to become... Jesus?!? [nods] I know, it's weird, isn't it?"

In other update news, our imaginary savings total for the year (thus far) from Smith's is: $603.06.
Woo!

And my word count total for the year (thus far) is:

128,479 / 200,005 (64.2%)

It's an Xmas miracle!!

Following are xmas miracles (tm):

1. It's 70 degrees outside right now! AWESOME!!
2. I'm off work until Wednesday, and I am home at 3 in the afternoon.
3. Gas prices are down to 2.05 per gallon.

What xmas miracles are going on in your neck of the woods?

underhung aquafarmer

[waves]

Hiya, Google.

Just leave a comment if you're reading this. Especially if you found it
by doing a google whack.

I have nothing else to say right now.

Solstice

12-21-05. Seven years remain until the Mayan calendar ends. Should be interesting.


And, now, a story from seven years ago. (I've been looking through my old 1998 notebook)

The following was originally written on June 17th, 1998:

It was quiet in the Meadow. Not even the flies were buzzing. The silence was deep enough that if you wanted to, you could almost hear the gears of the universe turning.

The Meadow was large. It spread itself out like an exhausted teenager on a couch after a grueling six hours of "education".  The Meadow was, in fact, one of the largest in Nebraska.  Over 3000 acres of flat land with soil that was ultra-perfect for farming. Yet not one inch of it was being used for agriculture. Not by human hands, at least.

The local farmers had known not to attempt approaching the Meadow for several years. It wasn't until 2 months ago that word spread to the media. And, of course, when it did, it became a oversized event.

You see, the Meadow was protected by a force that was beyond human understanding. The force could not be reckoned with. It did not care for human life, and with good reason.  For this was not an alien lifeform, or some supernatural ghost, oh no. This was a product of our own design.  It was a cow.

But, before you begin to laugh, or think this tale should not be considered serious business, take heed.  This was no ordinary, run-of-the-mill-one-day-I'm-here-the-next-day-I'm-steak cow.  This bovine had, by either fate, luck, or pure accident, been changed forever.  The government, in the interest of producing better tasting hamburgers, had been conducting cloning experiments on cows. Needless to say, something went wrong. The dreaded result -

Apocalypse Cow

Another short story from then. This one dated 7/29/98:

"Ma'am, the radar is showing that impact will occur in 26 hours."

"That's not possible, ensign," Commander Powers said angrily.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but that is what the computer readouts are indicating." Ensign Harvey was nervous. He knew that Powers was right, but computers were always right, too. Despite the illogical calculations the machine was displaying currently, it had to be correct.

"According to the latest stats, the Ajax comet will collide with the earth in... what the?" Harvey couldn't finish. The read-out was too shocking. His mind could not conceive what his eyes were seeing. The comet had advanced 20 hours in seconds.

"It... it must not be a comet," Powers said. It was the only logical conclusion.

"My god," Harvey whispered, in shock over the display.

"Impact in 3... 2... 1."

The Ajax comet smacked into the European Headquarters for Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence.

The world was cleansed. And smelled lemony-fresh.

And one more... from Saturday, October 3rd, 1998:

Frank and Charlie and Lester all went to get a beer. Frank and Lester both got to the refrigerator at the same time. Lester opened the door and discovered that only one beer remained.

So they gave it to Charlie, because they knew that they'd fight over it otherwise. Charlie, however, didn't like beer too much on account that he was underage and had previously only drank one beer. And it was a lite beer at that. However, Charlie didn't want to seem rude, so when Frank and Lester offered the brew to Charlie, he accepted.  Lester and Frank then went to the store to buy more beer. When they returned, Charlie was dead.

After a few hours of deep mourning, Lester picked up Charlie's young, limp body and flushed the goldfish down the toilet.

There are a few other stories from my '98 notebook, but I'll save those for another entry.

Happy Winter Solstice, everybody!!

Hilarious!

I went to the WD and did a search for "womlu" in all forums, for all posts. (I have my reasons)

 

The result was "Website not responding".

 

HEEE!

And he seemed like such a nice young boy.

We watched Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith today.

I didn't really like it any better this time. I did notice that the Emperor's "master plan" seemed to rely on a lot of luck and assumptions of people reacting in certain ways. Which, they did, so I guess I can't really complain.

I still don't know why the Wookies were in this movie, other than to give Yoda the hilarious innuendo-laced line about how he "has a good relationship with the Wookies."

In the end, Steph commented on how I look like Obi-Wan, and she's right, I sorta do, so yay for that.


And now, xmas story:

In the days when Herod was king of Judea, Mary was visited by an angel.
The angel said, "You shall bear a son and call him Jesus."
In those days, everyone went to the city of his ancestors to be taxed.
Joseph had to go to Bethlehem, the city of David.
Joseph and Mary made the long journey together.
When they reached Bethlehem, the city was filled with people.
There was no room for Mary and Joseph at the inn.
Mary and Joseph had to stay in a stable.
That night, Jesus was born.
Mary laid Jesus in a manger to sleep.
Out in the fields, some shepherds were watching their flocks.
A great light flashed, and the shepherds were afraid.
An angel appeared and said, "Good news! A savior is born!"
The angel told them to go find Jesus in the stable and worship Him.
Then many other angels appeared, singing, "Glory to God".
The shepherds hurried to find Jesus.
They found Him in the stable with Mary and Joseph.
The shepherds knelt down and worshiped Jesus.
A star shone over the stable where Jesus was.
Three wise men in a distant land saw the star.

Huh. You know, we have four sentences left in this story. Seems a little late to be introducing new characters into the tale, but we'll see how it plays out.

Dear Santa Christ

I have been very good this year. Of course, being omnipotent, you know that already. You also know what I want for my reward for being such a model citizen. But it never hurts to remind people, so here is my xmas wish list:

1. time
2. money
3. life
4. games
5. other magazines
6. a bow and arrow set
7. to know how to use a bow and arrows
8. skills
9. skillz
10. a new computer
11. stuff
12. some dvds
13. pepsi
14. sleep
15. aspirin
16. a cell phone
17. a cell phone grenade
18. for cell phones to be eliminated from the planet
19. to hit my word count goal of 200,005 words blogged in the year of 2005
20. to be a little bit taller
21. a haircut
22. money
23. everyone to be happy
24. peace of mind (that's good any time of the year, actually)
25. peace on earth (so is this)
26. piece of pie (ditto)
27. piece of ass (and this, too)
28. a time machine
29. pop tarts
30. to have finished my story
31. to have actually worked on my story
32. someone else to write my story for me, but to incorporate the ideas I have for it
33. a chinchilla (although I know I'm getting one when I turn 35, so if you can't get me one this year, I can wait)
34. email
35. email that is not junk
36. a second job
37. to not have to get a second job
38. Operation: Simpsons Edition
39. friends
40. ooh! A robot!
41. a monkey
42. zombies
43. I'll take the porcelain dalmatian (hee!)
44. less people on the planet
45. less traffic
46. less pollution
47. less meanness
48. less politicians
49. lunch
50. bar-b-cue potato chips
51. one of them fancy calculators (you know the kind)
52. a great glass elevator
53. a paper airplane
54. the new NIN cd (With Teeth. Um. With Teeth is the title, I don't need teeth to be included with the cd)
55. a lasso of truth
56. Y: The Last Man Graphic Novels
57. a big screen television
58. a Buffy game for the GameCube
59. Two new controllers for the GameCube
60. gloves
61. A1 sauce
62. a jar of dill pickles
63. Mr. Potato Head
64. creativity
65. superpowers
66. bottled water
67. a fireplace
68. better insulation
69. better circulation
70. chickens (to raise, to eat, to sell)
71. a collection of all the special state quarters
72. a tornado in a box
73. a Tasmanian devil
74. a new printer
75. a deserted island
76. a new car
77. an answering machine
78. my two front teeth
79. peace on earth, goodwill toward man
80. any other cliche you've got available
81. a lightsaber
82. Yoda
83. Jedi Mind Trick Capabilities
84. a minotaur
85. Mandy Moore
86. Michael Moore
87. Roger Moore
88. more more more!
89. mores (heeee!)
90. weapons of mass destruction
91. The Dark Tower series
92. an alien spacecraft
93. an alien
94. an Alien in a Can
95. the moon
96. the sun
97. the sun blocked out (excellent)
98. a turtle
    
99. a trip to Awwwwstralia
100. clear skin
101. translucent skin
102. Canada (but just the cool half, eh?)
103. knowledge
104. hot chocolate
105. peak oil
106. a clone
107. tickets to see the Blue Man Group
108. a stereo
109. headphones
110. bagpipes
111. a typewriter
112. a mechanical pencil
113. pens
114. a trampoline
115. a lawnmower
116. an underground labyrinth that leads to various places around the city
117. the entire series of Angel on DVD
118. pizza
119. a new dictionary
120. a new atlas
121. a timeline
122. a chalkboard
123. a spoon
124. an asteroid
125. Asteroids
126. Hogwarts
127. Harry Potter Book 7
128. gills
129. wings
130. horns
131. fur
132. webbed feet
133. claws
134. fangs
135. a tail
136. a holodeck
137. anything that can be found using Google.com
138. anything that can not be found using Google.com
139. Applebee's
140. an end to this list
141. toilet paper
142. kitty litter
143. a horse
144. a lion
145. a tiger
146. a bear
147. to be on Survivor
148. an Energizer Bunny
149. an end to censorship
150. an end to stupidity
151. an end to avarice (heee!)
152. ice cream (Rocky Road)
153. to have an entry about me be put into wikipedia
154. some folders
155. a PT Cruiser
156. a vanity license plate to go with the PT Cruiser
157. a milkshake (that's better than yours)
158. a hat
159. a calendar
160. a desk
161. a new notebook
162. an iPod (not really, but might as well ask)
163. a crystal ball
164. sunglasses
165. a good Will Smith movie
166. a porcupine
167. some classes at UNLV or CCSN
168. a bowling ball
169. a bowling alley
170. a six sided die
171. a ten sided die
172. a 100 sided die
173. a pair of cool glasses like John Lennon used to wear
174. miracle whip
175. a walking stick
176. a little mermaid
177. a yellow submarine
178. the Nina
179. the pinta
180. an oubliette
181. a psychophysiological detection of deception
182. an American Express card
183. a Target store of my very own
184. an Xmas tree
185. a beehive
186. a scooter
187. a giant hamster ball
188. an ark
189. a dolphin
190. opium
191. squid
192. squirrels
193. sandwich bread
194. Indiana Jones' hat
195. a wad of cash
196. Boardwalk
197. Park Place
198. a sandshrew
199. a shovel
200. a rake
201. a new broom
202. a malfunctioner
203. a good spell chekcer
204. the second "P" tile from Scrabble
205. new clothes
206. etc.

I know it's a large order, but I feel I deserve it. If not, just remember that I know where you live.

For those of you playing along at home

The odometer is at 139212.

That is all.

Then the story got a little ...weird.

Xmas story time! With two new sentences added on - the one from yesterday and also today's.

In the days when Herod was king of Judea, Mary was visited by an angel.
The angel said, "You shall bear a son and call him Jesus."
In those days, everyone went to the city of his ancestors to be taxed.
Joseph had to go to Bethlehem, the city of David.
Joseph and Mary made the long journey together.
When they reached Bethlehem, the city was filled with robots people.
There was no room for Mary and Joseph at the inn.
Mary and Joseph had to stay in a stable.
That night, Jesus was born.
Mary laid Jesus in a manger to sleep.
Out in the fields, some shepherds were watching their flocks.
A great light flashed, and the shepherds were afraid.
An angel appeared and said, "Good news! I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico! Er...I mean, A savior is born!"
The angel told them to go find Jesus in the stable and worship Him.
Then many other angels appeared, singing, "Glory to God".
The shepherds hurried to find Jesus.
They found Him in the stable with Mary and Joseph.
The shepherds knelt down and worshiped Jesus.

A few thoughts.
1) I know everyone loves newborn babies, but worship? [eyebrow]
2) Isn't worshipped spelled with two p's? (Probably not, but it looks like it should be)
3) Huge thanks to the Simpsons for providing me with the perfect quote to end this with in a few days. I can't say it now since it'll spoil it, and if you watched the episode you probably know what I'm referring to already, but it just goes to show that there is pretty much no situation that exists that a Simpsons quote can't fit into somewhere.

just call me minnesota fats

Starving, but playing Monkey Ball Billiards with Saren instead of eating.

I'm doing kiuck ass pool playing, too. "Pocket!!" "Combination shot!" Hee.

But i must eat.
Moore later.

There is no you, there is only meme

Hee!

Apologies to Trent Reznor for the misuse of his lyric, there. But it's appropriate.
Although, I have issues with the fact that these things online have had the name "meme" stick. I mean, yeah, in a way they are what the word originally meant, but it still bugs me that most people hear the word "meme" and think "online quiz".

Anywhat, I'm doing a bunch of them because it will help boost my word count. Excellent.

Your birth month
Pick your birth month and cross (strike) out what doesn't apply to you.


JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. (that's debatable. Ha!!) Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

List 3 of each:

Pet Peeves:

1. Bad drivers


2. Phone calls being transferred to me when they shouldn't be (ala our latest receptionist at work)


3. Junk mail

Favorite Sounds:

1. Pepsi can being opened


2. Steph's laugh


3. Saren, Harper, and Irina

Favorite Candy:

1. Kit Kat


2. Candy corn


3. Peanut M&Ms

Biggest Fears:

1. Losing the girls


2. Being alone


3. Pain

Biggest Challenges:

1. This "meme"


2. I'm thinking of Survivor becausae of the word "challenges"


3. keeping irina asleep when she's sick

Favorite Department Stores:

1. n/a


2. or, Target. I guess.


3. Although lately, their commercials suck.

Most Used Words:

1. Heee (or Heh)


2. Dude


3. Um

Favorite Pizza Toppings:

1. Pepperoni


2. Green Peppers


3. Pineapple

Favorite Cartoon Characters:

1. Homer


2. Fry


3. Wobbuffet

Movies Recently Watched:

1. Star Wars: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace


2. Star Wars: Episode 2: Attack of the Clones (not yet finished. 20 minutes left)


3. Once Upon a Texas Train (watched at work, for work)

Favorite Fruits:

1. Strawberry


2. Banana


3. Orange

Favorite Vegetables:

1. Carrots


2. Corn


3. Potatoes

Ehh.
I'll have to wait til later to do more, since irina is awake now. But on the bright side, this will easily help me reach my word goal. Awesome!

Nine six nine

That's this post number. 969.

Time to answer my boq from a few days back...

What would we do, baby, without oil?
Let's find out, shall we!
We shall! (In probably another ten years or so.)

"Where were they going without ever knowing the way?"
Forward! Progress!! Nowhere!!!
This was "The Way" by Fastball (although I swore it was Smashmouth for the longest time)
The lyrics:
They made up their minds
And they started packing
They left before the sun came up that day
An exit to eternal summer slacking
But where were they going without ever
Knowing the way?

They drank up the wine
And they got to talking
They now had more important things to say
And when the car broke down they started walking
Where were they going without ever
Knowing the way?

Anyone can see the road that they walk on
Is paved in gold
And it's always summer
They'll never get cold
They'll never get hungry
They'll never get old and grey
You can see their shadows wandering off somewhere
They won't make it home
But they really don't care
They wanted the highway
They're happier there today, today

Their children woke up
And they couldn't find them
They left before the sun came up that day
They just drove off and left it all behind 'em
But where were they going without ever
Knowing the way?

Dad! The cable's out again! Can you fix it!?
That kid bugs me. I see him going places, though. He's a ^brilliant^ actor!
Also, cable is overrated. Television is free. Paying for it is just stupid. Just like paying for radio.

"Now you dont need that money when you look like that, do ya honey?"
None of us NEED money, despite how we look.
And damn it. Now I've got Are You Gonna Be My Girl by Jet in my head.
Lyrics:
Go!!

So 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me
because you look so fine
and i really wanna make you mine.

I say you look so fine
that I really wanna make you mine.

Oh, 4,5,6 c'mon and get your kicks
now you dont need that money
when you look like that, do ya honey.

Big black boots,
long brown hair,
she's so sweet
with her get back stare.

Well I could see,
you home with me,
but you were with another man, yea!
I know we,
ain't got much to say,
before I let you get away, yea!
I said, are you gonna be my girl?

Well, so 1,2,3, take my hand and come with me
because you look so fine
and i really wanna make you mine.

I say you look so fine
that I really wanna make you mine.

Oh, 4,5,6 c'mon and get your kicks
now you dont need that money
with a face like that, do ya.

Big black boots,
long brown hair,
she's so sweet
with her jet back stare.

Well I could see,
you home with me,
but you were with another man, yea!
I know we,
ain't got much to say,
before I let you get away, yea!
I said, are you gonna be my girl?

Oh yea. Oh yea. C'mon!
I could see,
you home with me,
but you were with another man, yea!
I know we,
ain't got much to say,
before I let you get away, yea!
Uh, be my girl.
Be my girl.
Are you gonna be my girl?! Yea

Lots of lyrics make no sense. What is your favorite nonsensical lyric example?
A good portion of Come Together is nonsensical. That's the first thing coming to mind. "Got to be good looking cuz he's so hard to see."
There are lots of others, but I'm blanking now.

"Have you been an un-American?"
Not technically, no. Since you, know, I have lived in North America my entire life.
David Bowie's Young Americans (good song!)
Lyrics are thus:

They pulled in just behind the bridge
He lays her down, he frowns
"Gee my life's a funny thing, am I
still too young?"
He kissed her then and there
She took his ring, took his babies
It took him minutes, took her nowhere
Heaven knows, she'd have taken anything, but

[CHORUS (She)]
All night
She wants the young American
Young American, young American, she wants the young American
All right
She wants the young American

Scanning life through the picture
window
She finds the slinky vagabond
He coughs as he passes her Ford
Mustang, but
Heaven forbid, she'll take anything
But the freak, and his type, all for
nothing
He misses a step and cuts his hand, but
Showing nothing, he swoops like a song
She cries "Where have all Papa's heroes gone?"

[CHORUS (She)]
All the way from Washington
Her bread-winner begs off the bathroom floor
We live for just these twenty years
Do we have to die for the fifty more?"

[CHORUS (HE)]
All night
He wants the young American
Young American, young American,
he wants the young American
All right
He wants the young American

Do you remember, your President Nixon?
Do you remember, the bills you have to pay?
Or even yesterday?
Have been the un-American?
Just you and your idol sing falsetto
'bout Leather, leather everywhere, and
Not a myth left from the ghetto
Well, well, well, would you carry a razor
In case, just in case of depression?
Sit on your hands on a bus of survivors
Blushing at all the afro-Sheeners
Ain't that close to love?
Well, ain't that poster love?
Well, it ain't that Barbie doll
Her hearts have been broken just like you

[CHORUS (YOU)]
All night
You want the young American
Young American, young American, you want the young American
All right
You want the young American

You ain't a pimp and you ain't a hustler
A pimp's got a Cadi and a lady got a Chrysler
Black's got respect, and white's got his soul train
Mama's got cramps, and look at your hands ache
(I heard the news today, oh boy)
I got a suite and you got defeat
Ain't there a man who can say no more?
And, ain't there a woman I can
sock on the jaw?
And, ain't there a child I can hold without judging?
Ain't there a pen that will write before they die?
Ain't you proud that you've still got faces?
Ain't there one damn song that can make me
break down and cry?

[CHORUS (I) (repeat 3 times ad lib)]
All night
I want the young American
Young American, young American, I want the young American
All right
I want the young American

What was the last dream you had?
Something having to do with sharks, I can't remember.

125,300 / 200,005 (62.6%)

The Story of the First Christmas Catch-up

No, not Ketchup. (or catsup, either) Although, that would be an interesting story. The one where the Christmas Ketchup learns the true meaning of xmas from the other holiday condiments.

Anyway. It's been a while since i've posted the story, and I meant to do it the other day, but forgot, so here it is now. Lots of new and exciting things to cover:

In the days when Herod was king of Judea, Mary was visited by an angel.
The angel said, "You shall bear a son and call him Jesus."
In those days, everyone went to the city of his ancestors to be taxed.
Joseph had to go to Bethlehem, the city of David.
Joseph and Mary made the long journey together.
When they reached Bethlehem, the city was filled with robots people.
There was no room for Mary and Joseph at the inn.
Mary and Joseph had to stay in a stable.
That night, Jesus was born.
Mary laid Jesus in a manger to sleep.
Out in the fields, some shepherds were watching their flocks.
A great light flashed, and the shepherds were afraid.
An angel appeared and said, "Good news! I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico! A savior is born!"
The angel told them to go find Jesus in the stable and worship Him.
Then many other angels appeared, singing, "Glory to God".
The shepherds hurried to find Jesus.

There's another sentence for today, but that flap hasn't been lifted yet. I bet they find him though. Although maybe they have to go to prison to do so. Seems lots of people find Jesus in prison.

Baby, it's cold outside

On the way into work this morning, when walking to the bus stop, I saw
ice. Ice!! Ice, baby!! (heee!)

It was 27 degrees outside.

I believe the word I am looking for is: Day-umn!
(or is it that two words?)

Anyway, interactive time! What is the temperature where you are right now?

i need a malfunctioner

for so so many things.

anyway. wish i could breathe. i was feeling so much better, and now...
not so much. it's getting tedious.

i had a something to say, but i don't remember now what it was.

i think if we make it that far, that in 30 years time, we'll see
"September 11th: The Musical". Maybe sooner. Sounds tacky now - and it
would be then, too - but time heals all wounds. I mean, the freakin'
Titanic sinks nightly on the Las Vegas strip.

what else? Um. Oh. You know how sometimes you just want people to do all
your thinking for you? (or maybe that's just me) Well. I've seen it done
now, and I think I will pass. It isn't as cool as you would expect. At
ihop today there was a teacher with a young boy (maybe 9 or 10 years
old) at the counter, and he was paying for his meal. She was instructing
him on every single step he took. Every. Single. Step.
The boy wasn't mentally challenged, but you'd swear by the way that this
woman was treating him that she had brought along a lobotomized monkey
instead of a fully functioning homo sapien. Poor kid.

In other news, I realize that i have not updated the xmas story in many
days. I will remedy that when I get home tonight. There's a lot going
on in that! Joy! (heh)

Does this mean I can't complain about the show anymore?

The producers of "Cheaters" sent me a ham today! A ham!!!

For those (fortunate enough) to not know what "Cheaters" is: It is a "reality" type show where people in relationships who suspect their significant other of having affirs contact the program. They spy on the suspected cheater (who, of course, is always guilty - they just don't show the folks who are innocent) and eventually catch the person on videotape. The evidence is then shown to the mate, who is then offered the chance to have a confrontation with their cheating partner. Much drama ensues.

So, yeah. They sent me a xmas ham, which is cool, because, you know, free food. But I still don't like the show.

overkill

Yet another bunch of questions. Because I know how much they're enjoyed by everyone.

Don't worry. It's a short one. And, in case Jupe is wondering, it's not the one I was planning on making. (I think that I will post that on that electronic internet forum place)

After the b o q, there will be a link that will be enjoyed by all. Yay!

As always, you can either answer in my comments, or cut and paste the red text and answer it in your own blog.

<b> What would we do, baby, without oil? </b>

<b> "Where were they going without ever knowing the way?" </b>

<b> Dad! The cable's out again! Can you fix it!? </b>

<b> "Now you dont need that money when you look like that, do ya honey?" </b>

<b> Lots of lyrics make no sense. What is your favorite nonsensical lyric example? </b>

<b> "Have you been an un-American?" </b>

<b> What was the last dream you had? </b>

Okay. And now it's link-a-rama time! The following link is timely and informative and fun! Although I thought that EVERY day was Monkey Day, it turns out that it is actually on December 14th.
(note: Link does not open in a new window)

So. THere ya go. A boq and a link with monkeys. What more could you ask for from a blog entry?

Ask your doctor about Folgers full roasted coffee today.

Folgers may not be right for everyone.

Ugh. Still n ot fe ee ;inmg 100%. part of that might have to do with hthe fsct that the National Fucking News is on right now,

I swear to yuv thst ECEY commercial is for some kind of drug.

chills,.

ar least we sre srarting to win the war on terror. No, wait. Im ean t he war on this disease.

dude. u amnot going to huit the 200005 word goal. it's just not gonna happen.

want to die. so cold, and hot. like a mcdlt.

well, i may not hit my goal, but ast least i've bloogged today. now i will go lie down and hope to feel brtter.

ugh

feel horrible.

Happiness is a warm puppy

So sayeth Rerun. Out of the Peanuts characters, I think he might be my second favorite. Snoopy, of course, being #1.

First, story. Then, bunch of answers.

In the days when Herod was king of Judea, Mary was visited by an angel.
The angel said, "You shall bear a son and call Him Jesus."
In those days, everyone went to the city of his ancestors to be taxed.
Joseph had to go to Bethlehem, the city of David.
Joseph and Mary made the long journey together.
When they reached Bethlehem, the city was full of people. (who were maybe robots)
There was no room for Mary and Joseph at the inn.
Mary and Joseph had to stay in a stable.
That night, Jesus was born.

!!!! It's just like the angel predicted!! Wow! Side note - are there ever any stories where a prediction is made and it DOESN'T come true? Psychics are ALWAYS right in stories. [/pet peeve]
Also of note - Mary had Jesus not in a hospital, nor with a midwife, nor with any sort of medical intervention. Just sayin'.

Okay! Question time!!

What does America need right now?
Well, according to the television commercial I lifted the question from, some sort of Dodge Car Sale Event. Yeah. Lower priced gas guzzlers. That's what America needs right now.
To be honest, I don't know what America needs. I don't think anyone else does, either. In fact, I'd be very wary of anyone who has an answer to that question. They're most likely looking to control you in some way.

"And I wonder, still I wonder, who'll stop the rain?"
Er. I know that John Grisham wrote a book called The Rainmaker. Maybe he'll write a sequel called The Rainstopper.
This was Who'll Stop the Rain by Creedence Clearwater Revival. Lyrics (go word count!) are thusly:

Long as I remember
the rain been comin' down.
Clouds of myst'ry pouring
confusion on the ground.
Good men through the ages,
try'n' to find the sun,
and I wonder, still I wonder,
who'll stop the rain.

I went down Virgina
seekin' shelter from the storm.
Caught up in the fable,
I watched the tower grow.
Five years plans and new deals,
wrapped in golden chains,
and I wonder, still I wonder,
who'll stop the rain.

Heard the singers playin'
how we cheered for more.
The crowd had rushed together,
trying' to keep warm.
Still the rain kept pourin',
fallin' in my ears,
and I wonder, still I wonder
who'll stop the rain.

Which seems to indicate that it wasn't really a question, but oh well.

What type of child were you? Or put another way, how would you describe yourself as a younger person?
Well, before being crushed by my parent's divorce and my stepbrother molesting me and the pressures of moving from place to place and feeling the need to excel in everything academic, I was a precocious little snot, from what I remember.
Heh. Precocious little snot.

What's it gonna look like twenty two thousand, six years from now? You know, December 9th, 4211?
It's just weird to think that there will even BE a 4211.

Pork?
No. No I am not.

How much paper do you throw away in a day? In a week? In a year?
If it's a (typical) work day, generally anywhere between 6 and 84 sheets of paper.
Weekends... less, but still quite a bit. I've not really kept track of paper tossed at home.
I'm afraid to even attempt to caclulate how much paper I dispose of in a year.

"Will you bite the hand that feeds you? Will you stay down on your knees?"
Yes. I gnaw on it pretty much daily.
And... yes? I mean no. Because I will need to stretch my legs at some point.
Also, I find it amusing (in a rather sad sort of way) that
a) The way I sing this song when it's on the radio. I change the tempo just enough to make it more of a swing or country type song. Something like that. Certain Linkin Park songs are done the same way. I can't explain it over the internet.
and
b) the whole MTV debacle with this song. Trent was going to perform this song at some MTV shindig, and his backdrop was going to be a picture of George W. Bush. MTV said, "Change the picture". Trent said, "no". MTV said, "Okay, we'll get the Foo Fighters"
Heh. Censorship is so hip!!
Anyway, the lyric was from The Hand That Feeds by Nine Inch Nails. Which I kinda want to get. Has anyone heard the entire album and or know if it is any good?
Here be the entire lyrics:

you're keeping in step
in the line
got your chin held high and you feel just fine
'cause you do what you're told
but inside your heart it is black it is hollow and it's cold

just how deep do you believe?
will you bite the hand that feeds?
will you chew until it bleeds?
can you get up off your knees?
are you brave enough to see?
do you wanna change it?

what if this all crusade's a charade
and behind it all there's a price to be paid
for the blood which we dine
justified in the name of the holy and the divine

just how deep do you believe?
will you bite the hand that feeds?
will you chew until it bleeds?
can you get up off your knees?
are you brave enough to see?
do you wanna change it?

so naive
I keep holding on to what i wanna believe
I can see
but i keep holding on and on and on and on

will you bite the hand that feeds you? will you stay down on your knees?
will you bite the hand that feeds you? will you stay down on your knees?
will you bite the hand that feeds you? will you stay down on your knees?
will you bite the hand that feeds you? will you stay down on your knees?
will you bite the hand that feeds you? will you stay down on your knees?
will you bite the hand that feeds you? will you stay down on your knees?
will you bite the hand that feeds you? will you stay down on your knees?
will you bite the hand that feeds you? will you stay down on your knees?


Ho hum. Bored now, what should I do instead?

Sleep. Well, publish post first, but then sign off and sleep.

have yours elf a merry little xmas

if the fates allow.

you know, they (they!!) talk of people speaking in tongues, but can people type in tongues? I mean... i am pretty much only looking at the screen every so often, and i just am typing what ever is coming to my brain and a iw onder if or what will come of that. you know? is it too broad a subject to broach? Heh. broach.

I had lunch at Bob's Big Boy today. Yum. Although now I need a nap, and my stomach feels like ...not so good. Also, a Pepsi is being craved by yours truly. although i suppose thta is not all that unusual. Which Tom Jones would know about. !!

I want to ask some questions. Because I can, I think that I will template them. Cut and paste away, if the fancy strike s you.

Note to Jupe: No, this is not eit either.

<b> What does America need right now? </b>

<b> "And I wonder, still I wonder, who'll stop the rain?" </b>

<b> What type of child were you? Or put another way, how would you describe yourself as a younger person?</b>

<b> What's it gonna look like twenty two thousand, six years from now? You know, December 9th, 4211? </b>

<b> Pork? </b>

<b> How much paper do you throw away in a day? In a week? In a year? </b>

<b> "Will you bite the hand that feeds you? Will you stay down on your knees?" </b>

<b> Ho hum. Bored now, what should I do instead? </b>

It's almsot ime (?!?) to go home, so I should send this off. I still haven't done my own wish list, nor the joke entry, but there's still time, right? I mean, xmas is still sixteen days away. That's all the time in the world.

Time to get ill

Apparetnly.

Steph, Saren, and to a degree, Harper, are all sick. I was feeling it a little yesterday, but appear now to be okily-dokily. Although I AM UTP@. Because I went tino work early, and so have been awake since four in the freaking bmorning. Four!

So, I guess that's all. Um, to Jupe, no, that was not "it". It will be forthcoming. Hee. Fourth.

Oh. I suppose I should answer my boq. And, I saw that Annika has requested that we put up our xmas wish list. And, I have a whole funny post idea that is sort of related to that, but a) Survivor is on and 2) everyone is sick and thirdly) I am totally freaking UTP@.

So. Quick answer of the movie boq from the other day, and then the next part of the xmas story, and then that is all.


Who's Harry Crumb?
Eww. A hairy crumb? That is totally something you would find like under the stove. eww.

What's the Worst That Could Happen?
Um. A railroad spike thru the gut?

Are We There Yet?
Don't make me turn this car around!
Wow. This boq is turning out pretty lame.

What the #$*! Do We (K)now!?
Not much, you?

Who Framed Roger Rabbit
That is not technically a question, ya know.

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
Her and Dick grew up, got a dog (Spot) and lived happily ever after.

O Brother, Where Art Thou?
He's in Mechanicsville, last I heard.

Shall We Dance?
Heh. I don't do public dancing. Steph has seen why that is.

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
That isn't a question, either. But if someone is coming to dinner, I hope they like pizza. Because that's what we had.

Car 54, Where Are You?
Guatamala. Heh.

Dude, Where's My Car?
HEEE! This ties in with Survivor right now. But, I'm not on surivivor. So to answer the question, my car is sitting in the driveway.

Where Were You When The Lights Went Out?
Well... if they went out right now, I'd be at the computer. I'd also be extremely pissed since I'm quite close to submitting this entry.

Okay, yeah. That was a pretty lame bunch of questions. Better one next ime.

In the days when Herod was king of Judea, Mary was visited by an angel.
The angel said, "You shall bear a son and call Him Jesus."
In those days, everyone went to the city of his ancestors to be taxed.
Joseph had to go to Bethlehem, the city of David.
Joseph and Mary made the long journey together.
When they reached Bethlehem, the city was full of people. (who were maybe robots)
There was no room for Mary and Joseph at the inn.
Mary and Joseph had to stay in a stable.

A stable what? A stable relationship? A stable platform? TELL ME!!

Eh. I should not blog qhiel tired. It makes for lamesly stuff.

Come back, baby. Rock and roll never does something.

I'm cold.
(And there are wolves outside.)

Steph is sick, and I'm getting there. I've consumed pepsi today, but I don't think even that magical elixir will stave off the coming illness. I don't want to be defeatist, since there is that mind body connection that plays such an important role in ...something. I lost my train of thought just then.

I've decided that ...I don't know, never mind. I was going to quote Jane's Addiction - "Some people should die. That's just common knowledge." - but felt that that was too cynical for what I really want to say. (Even if it is true.)

But I don't know that that's even fair. (ALthough it might be.) It's just... today there were an inordinate amount of people who said incredibly ...eye-roll inducing things. I don't even want to take the time to explain it all. I don't have the energy, and it wouldn't do any good anyway, ya know? It's just ... sigh. It would make me much happier if people would respect children more, is all. I mean, I know I'm far from a perfect parent, and I'm nowhere NEAR where I would like to be on the unschooling way of life, but, good god, I at least know that children deserve to be treated with the same respect as an adult.

Bah.

I'm not up to blogging much, as is quite evident, i'm sure. So. Story:

In the days when Herod was king of Judea, Mary was visited by an angel.
The angel said, "You shall bear a son and call Him Jesus."
In those days, everyone went to the city of his ancestors to be taxed.
Joseph had to go to Bethlehem, the city of David.
Joseph and Mary made the long journey together.
When they reached Bethlehem, the city was full of people. (who were maybe robots)
There was no room for Mary and Joseph at the inn.

Ahh. So the moral of this story is that you should always book your reservations ahead. Especially around the holidays.

It's beginning to look a lot like something.

We put up the tree today, and the decorations. Yay! We've got the radio station that is playing all xmas music on. For whatever reason, James Taylor's Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas just totally soothes me.

And now Happy Xmas (War Is Over) is on, which is the first time I've heard it this season, which means the xmas season has now officially begun. [cheer]

And now, I will put up the story:

In the days when Herod was king of Judea, Mary was visited by an angel.
The angel said, "You shall bear a son and call Him Jesus."
In those days, everyone went to the city of his ancestors to be taxed.
Joseph had to go to Bethlehem, the city of David.
Joseph and Mary made the long journey together.
When they reached Bethlehem, the city was full of people.


...people who were robots?
Probably not. [frown]

t'key ghee fa

Yeah. I wish.

I believe I need to write something like 3300 words for the next 25 days in order to hit my desired goal. Hmm. Do I have 82,500 words to say? Somehow, I doubt it. But we'll try anyway.

"We". Like I have a rat in my pocket or something.

I still need to go back to working on my story. It's been almost a week since I last looked at it. If I go much longer, I'm afraid I'll lose my interest in it completely, (it's happened before) and who knows when (or if) I would get it back again.

Last night I had some crazy ass dreams.

I was on the Lost island, and was walking along with Sayid, Locke, and someone else, who I can't remember. There was plenty of conversation, but, of course, now I can't remember any of it. I do remember that it was highly engrossing. We were interrupted by a rumbling in the trees. Locke bent down and picked up some rocks. A stegosaurus  (!!!!) emerged from the forest, running toward us. Locke hurled his rocks at the dinosaur, and it did about as much damage as throwing a stone at a school bus would do. The prehistoric animal continued trampling toward us, and we jumped out of the way in the nick of time as it barreled past us.

The dream jumped - or I don't remember what happened in between then - to where the four of us were now looking for food. Sayid, Locke, and other person were picking up the stegosaurus droppings and eating those. (Yuck!) They said that it wasn't very tasty, but that it contained plenty of nutrients, and there was nothing else around to eat, so...

I refused to eat dinosaur poop, believing that there must be something else to eat around the area. Locke picked up a couple of eggs (chicken eggs? Dinosaur eggs? I don't know) and asked me if I wanted to eat those instead. I said that would be great, and thank you. He pulled a pan out of nowhere, and the next thing I knew, I was eating some very tasty eggs.

When the dream ended, it was pretty much a promo for next week's episode of Lost. There was an announcer and everything. "Next week is the episode you Can. Not. Miss."
It appeared to be a Michael-centric episode, and it seemed to show that Michael had lost a baby on the island right before - or right after? - the crash. His ex-wife (who, in the show has died) was on the island, and either gave birth while going over a waterfall, or shortly before. Michael was shown holding onto a screaming infant that was going to go over the falls.

It was intense, but I remember detachedly thinking, "Oh, come on!! He loses his son AND a baby?!?"

Suddenly, I was no longer a part of the show, but was in my parents house. We were all watching the preview for next week, and were talking about the "baby episode", when suddenly my dad went batshit insane. He started screaming at my step mom, throwing objects, and acting completely unreasonable and very very scary. I was trying to calm him down (I have no idea what set him off) but he then directed his anger at me.

Right before the dream ended, he calmed down and apologized, but man, that was freaky.

Well, now I have to go watch the Maury Povich show. Which I will never be able to watch the same way again, due to South Park. "Oh yeah? I'll crap in Maury's pants! Whatever! I'll do what I want!" Heh.

*****

It is freaking COLD out side. And we're still two weeks away from the official start of winter.
Note to self: when we revert back to nomadic, hunter-gatherer type of lifestyles - make sure that we travel to places that are warm. But not too warm. Because I can't stand the heat, either.

I think it's time for a bunch of questions. Because that builds the word count, and because I can not think of anything else to talk about right now.

I have been wanting to do this bunch of questions for a while. All of the following questions are movie titles. Hooray!

<b> Who's Harry Crumb? </b>

<b> What's the Worst That Could Happen? </b>

<b> Are We There Yet? </b>

<b> What the #$*! Do We (K)now!? </b>

<b> Who Framed Roger Rabbit </b>

<b> What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? </b>

<b> O Brother, Where Art Thou? </b>

<b> Shall We Dance? </b>

<b> Guess Who's Coming To Dinner </b>

<b> Car 54, Where Are You? </b>

<b> Dude, Where's My Car? </b>

<b> Where Were You When The Lights Went Out? </b>

Undoubtedly, there are a gabillion other movies I could use, but I'm not in the mood to go researching them now. In fact, I'm pretty hungry right now, so maybe I'll go have lunch, even though it's only 11:16.

*****

Back in February of 1989, when I was 13 years old, we lived in Utah. A friend of mine, whom I will call Brian Haney, because that was his name, was older than I was. He had gone snowmobiling many times, and asked me to come along with him. My parents agreed to let me, and so off we went.

Once we got there, (or maybe on the way, I don't know) Brian informed me that there was an age restriction. You had to be 14 years old in order to get one of the snowmobiles from the ski resort we were going to. That wasn't a problem for Brian, since he already met the arbitrary age requirement. I, however, still had four months to go. It was agreed upon that I would just lie, since they never asked for proof of one's age - besides, how exactly could I provide proof? I didn't have a driver's license. So. When I filled out the form, I wrote that my birthday was either that day, or a few days before. (My brain initially thought that this was on Feb. 14th, 1989, but I just looked at that was on a Tuesday, which probably means it wasn't then. Feb. 14th, 1988 was a Sunday... so maybe I got the year wrong. And maybe it wasn't even February 14th at all, but for some reason, that date is sticking in my mind. So I think I put that my birthdate was the 14th of February, rather than the 14th of June, but that the actual renting of the snowmobile might have been some date later in February. [shrug] Sorry the story is so crap, but that's what you get when you have such a poor memory like I do.)

Anyway. I lied on the form, it was accepted, and we got on our snowmobiles and began to follow our tour guide. He instructed us on how to operate the snowmobile - the accelerator on the right handlebar, the brake on the left.
Everything was going great. Our group of about ten snowmobilers were all driving along, following a premade path for the machines that wound through the forest. I saw a squirrel zip across and was feeling pretty ecstatic about the whole snowmobiling thing.

Then.

I smacked the snowmobile into a wooden pole, crushing the front and pretty much making the machine undriveable.
My head whipped forward  and my helmet hit the handlebars. The seatbelt pulled on me and my shoulders were sore for about a day afterward. I remember I actually thought - and may have even said out loud - "I am dead."

I wasn't, obviously (unless this whole past sixteen years have been the delirium dream of a dying preteen on a snowmobile in Utah), but it's funny that I had that thought, because I WISHED i had died.

I don't remember much else about this story. I do recall that Brian laughed at me, and that our friendship pretty much dissolved shortly after that. (He really was sort of a prick. Who laughs at their friend when they get into an accident?) The damage ended up being paid for by my dad, and it was about $500 to get it repaired.
I don't know that anything ever came of my age deception, or if the snowmobile people even ever found out. Of course, I had more pressing concerns at the time, what with having wrecked a very expensive piece of machinery and all, but. Yeah.

No real point to that story, and I don't know why I was thinking of it the other day, but I don't believe I've told it in my blog before, so ...now I have.

*****

Our computer at home only has 48% free space left in its memory. Which totally explains why it is running so slow. I bet there are plenty of programs that we could delete in order to free up more room. Or, we could be American about it and just buy a whole new computer...

*****

I hate money.

*****

Well, apparently I'm about half way to the three thousand goal so far. Boring!

A female employee who works in Master Control - she got hired in that department after I had already left, so I haven't had much interaction with her - called in on Sunday. It was like 30 minutes before her shift was supposed to start, and she called her relief, telling him that she was going to kill herself.
She was reportedly very drunk while on the phone, and sounded very stressed. (Obviously.)

The guy she called talked to her for about an hour, trying to calm her down. He called his supervisor, who called HIS supervisor, because nobody had her address anywhere. Her address is in the HR computer, of course, but HR is locked, and nobody could get hold of the employee who has the key.

Eventually, her resume was found in the Master Control Supervisors office, and her address and phone number were on there. Hoping that it was still accurate, the number was called, and there was no answer. They called the apartment offices of where she lives and made them aware of the situation. The apartment manager called the paramedics, who broke into her apartment and discovered her passed out and very very intoxicated. She was revived, and the paramedics passed on the info to the apartment folks who called the Master Control Supervisors back to let them know she was okay.

Her days off are Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Calls to her home have not been answered.

From what I have heard, and from the little interaction I have had with her, this is extremely out of character for her. The main belief is that she is not answering her phone due largely to embarrassment over the entire ordeal, but I am still pretty worried about her. We'll have to see what happens on Thursday, I suppose.

I just hope that she doesn't get fired over this. That would piss me off majorly.
Of course, I also don't know the entire story. I've been getting all of the above info 3rd hand and have not yet talked to anyone directly involved, so [shrug]. Another semi pointless story from me, I guess.

*****

And, now another work day has come to a successful close. And, yet again, I have not done diddly squat on my story. Don't I know that I only have six more months to complete it before it "happens"? Well, technically, that isn't true, since it "began" back in the 1960s. But still.

I'll send this off, and then later add in the xmas story sentence. I hope that there are explosions in today's installment. Explosions or robots or time travel. That would be cool.

Welcome. You've got mail!

I also have a headache. i think that work causes headaches. or maybe i need glasses. or both.

i was the Frog again today, but not for money. A promo was being made for the premiere of Peter Jackson's new movie, King Kong, of which our station is going to be somehow involved. So, for the commercial, Michigan j. frog (as played by me) will grab a blonde model and swat away planes. Yay!

I got this email at work today. Found it somewhat amusing, thought i'd share. (See, if they limit your freedoms in creative ways, it makes it easier to tolerate!)

So, email...
Titled:
Twas the night before the server crashed and all your files were lost...

A reminder and warning in a seasonal muse:

T’was the weeks before Christmas, when all through Sinclair,
Our firewall is maxed, almost beyond repair.
It seems our policies employees have ignored,
Surfing for gifts, seems to have soared.
Some surfing is business, some clearly is not,
Like trips to ebay and e-save-a-lot.

We in MIS were all snug on our floor,
When cyber Monday hit, it ripped off our door.
So many visits, too many strange sites,
“Keep out the viruses, or read the last rites!”

Gordon in his kerchief, and Jim in his cap,
Are racing the building, lap after lap.
Away to the servers, Jim flew like a flash,
“Decode all the bugs, free some more cache!”

With a little screw driver and encouraging remarks,
In through the door, runs Delbert R. Parks.
His eyes, how they twinkled, his nose a little runny,
So much weight, he lost from his tummy.

“There’s no way to fix this men,” he said in a daze,
“This is high speed gases and cosmic rays!”
“There is but one thing we can hope to do,
Beseech our employees to do what they’re supposed to.”

Now Daniel, now David,
Now Patricia, and Susan!
On Ronald and Linda,
On Donald and Karen!
All our employees no matter your name,
Stop surfing the web, this isn’t a game.
Please, please, stop, don’t fracture the 'wall,
Stop surfing the web and go to the mall!


Hooray!

I was going to blog the story of Feb. 14th, 1989, but my headache is too imposing right niow. Maybe tomorrow.

The girls went over to the across the street neighbors house today for cake and ice cream and pudding. They had a pretty good time.

It's so cold outside now rthat i had to wear layers of clothes to work - i had a t-shirt under my button up work shirt, and jeans under my slacks. Dorky? probably, but at least i was warm. er.

my wife just stopped by and fed me pepperoni slices while i type with a baby on my lap. Except for the headache, life is pretty good.

You know what is a damn good song? Testify by Rage Against the Machine.

I'm running out of rthuings to blog about, and my shoulders are getting all tense from sitting here with Irina on my lap, so I will type up the xmas story thus far and hit publish post.

In the days when Herod was king of Judea, Mary was visited by an angel.
The angel said, "You shall bear a son and call Him Jesus."
In those days, everyone went to the city of his ancestors to be taxed.
Joseph had to go to Bethlehem, the city of David.
Joseph and Mary made the long journey together.

If you can't make cookies, you should race cars.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was really enjoyable. Tonight we're going to watch Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace, mostly for Saren's benefit. She has seen the original trilogy, so now it's time to scar her forever with the 'new' one. Also, Steph has only seen Episodes 1 and 2 (and 4, 5, and 6, of course) so when we get #3 later this week, it will be new to her, as well.

After that, we've got several Christmasy movies lined up in our Netflix queue.
Speaking of Christmas movies - why do so many of them suck? The exceptions that I can think of are: A Christmas Story, Die Hard, Gremlins, The Nightmare Before Christmas, It's A Wonderful Life, and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Oh, and bits of Home Alone.

Every other xmas movie seems to be blah. Or maybe "Bah". Heh.

Speaking of blah xmas stories, it's time to state the story of the first xmas as told by our advent calendar thus far. I'm going to restate the first three sentences (go word count!) and the fourth sentence as well, so we can see how the story is progressing.

In the days when Herod was king of Judea, Mary was visited by an angel. The angel said, "You shall bear a son and call Him Jesus." In those days, everyone went to the city of his ancestors to be taxed. Joseph had to go to Bethlehem, the city of David.

Hmm. You know, I realize we're only four days into the story, and they're still establishing characters and whatnot, but ...I really hope this tale gets a little more exciting.

Of course, I can't really knock the tellers of this story very hard, since I haven't worked on my Nano story AT ALL since the end of November. It's still sitting in the floppy drive, at 26,899 words. Lame, P@. Lame.

Um. Damn. I had something else to say, but I've now forgotten what it was.

Online quizzes increase word count!

Well, they do.

You scored as Claire. You're Claire! You're cute, and everybody likes you - especially Charlie ;) Claire 88% Locke 63% Kate 63% Shannon 63% Sawyer 56% Jin 56% Michael 50% Hurley 50% Jack 50% Charlie 44% Sun 44% Sayid 31% Boone 0% Who is your "Lost" alter ego? created with QuizFarm.com

Erm. I'm a pregnant Australian woman? Well... Okay then. It makes as much sense as Stephanie being the black single father. [grin]

You Failed the US Citizenship Test

Oops, you only got 6 out of 10 right!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

Um.

You Are 70% "Average American"

You are average because you wouldn't pay to go in space. You are not average since you don't think affirmative action is necessary.

How "Average American" Are You?

U! S! A!
U! S! A!

Wait a minute....

Your Blog Should Be Blue

Your blog is a peaceful, calming force in the blogosphere. You tend to avoid conflict - you're more likely to share than rant. From your social causes to cute pet photos, your life is a (mostly) open book.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

It used to be blue!
Although, "peaceful, calming force"?!? Okay...

One more, just for the heck of it:

Your Famous Blogger Twin is Wil Wheaton

You're a friendly, funny guy (or girl) next door With more than a touch of geekiness

Who's Your Famous Blogger Twin?

Hooray!! I totally win!

Play that funky music, white boy!

Lay down and boogie and play that funky music 'til ya die!!!

Xmas story sentence 3:

"In those days, everyone went to the city of his ancestors to be taxed."

Huh. Well, okay. I suppose that they probably had some sort of IRS that would come after yyou if you didn't go to that city? Because otherwise, I would think tax evasion would be a relatively simple thing to do. Just don't bother going to the city of your ancestors. [shrug]

Speaking of god type things, here's an email i got forwarded to me from my dad. Warning, since it is a forward, it may cause eye-rolling and/or heavy sighing.


Did God Create Evil?



Did God create everything that exists? Does evil exist? Did God create evil?



A University professor at a well known institution of higher learning challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?" A student bravely replied, "Yes he did!"



"God created everything?" The professor asked.



"Yes sir, he certainly did," the student replied.



The professor answered, "If God created everything; then God created evil. And, since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then we can assume God is evil."



The student became quiet and did not answer the professor's hypothetical definition. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.



Another student raised his hand and said, "May I ask you a question, professor?"



"Of course", replied the professor.



The student stood up and asked, "Professor does cold exist?"



"What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?" The other students snickered at the young man's question.



The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat.



Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy.





Absolute zero (-460 F) is the total absence of heat; and all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist.



We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat."



The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?"



The professor responded, "Of course it does."



The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light.



Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact, we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color.



You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."



Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?"



Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course, as I have already said. We see it everyday. It is in the daily examples of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world.

These manifestations are nothing else but evil.



To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God.



God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart.

It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light."



The professor sat down.



The young man's name -- Albert Einstein
[/email]

Yeah.

On the agenda for tonight: Cleaning, maybe putting up the xmas tree, watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Yay!

117,480 / 200,005 (58.7%)

This is post #950.

Fifty to go in the next thirty days. No problem!

Looking around the internet today, saw some weird stories. Apparently, some ex-caretakers of Koko (yes, Koko the gorilla. The one that knows some sign language) suied the Gorilla Foundation for being fired.

Why were they fired?

Well, according to their suit, they were asked to show their breasts to Koko in an attemptr to bond with him because, supposedly, Koko has a "nipple fetish". When the women refused, they were fired.

The foundation denies the allegations, but the suit has been settled out of court.

Koko was not available for comment.

Also in the news, Mother Nature must not have received the memo about hurricane season ending. Tropical Storm Epsilon (I like that name! Epsilon! It sounds like a super hero. Or something you would see as a "word" verification code.) has escalated into Hurricane Epsilon. Two days after the hurricane season officially ended.

And, apparently we (or, rather, the United States) has executed the 1,000th person under the death penalty since it was reinstated in 1977. No word was given in the article making mention of whether any prizes were awarded for having reached the "milestone".

Oh yeah. Today is the 2nd of December, so let us continue the story of the 1st xmas, shall we? We shall:

"The angel said, 'You shall bear a son and call Him Jesus.'"

Oh, Angel, you and your silly prophecies. Always telling people how their lives are going to play out. And while this particular prophecy is a good one - Yay! Childbirth! - it's interesting that he doesn't tell her the entire story: "Then, in about three decades time, your son will be publicly executed. But in another two thousand years after that, people will use his birth as an excuse to purchase merchandise from Sears. Merry Christmas!!"

Man, they should totally make that into a tv series.

Numbers

Words blogged in January 2005 - 7,306
Words blogged in February 2005 - 12,587
Words blogged in March 2005 - 69
Words blogged in April 2005 - 0
Words blogged in May 2005 - 7,894
Words blogged in June 2005 - 16,146
Words blogged in July 2005 - 10,193
Words blogged in August 2005 - 16,399
Words blogged in September 2005 - 13,666
Words blogged in October 2005 - 15,537
Words blogged in November 2005 - 16,348
Total (before this entry) for 2005 - 116,145
Average words written per month: 10,558.6363636363
Number of words to go to reach my goal by years end as of November 30th: 83,860
Average number of words that must be written per day to reach that goal: 2,705.1612

Nano total as of midnight on November 30th, 2005 - 26,899

In non number news, Mr. Eko is totally fucking awesome, and may very well be the best character ever to exist anywhere ever.

And on Survivor, I actually danced a jig when they did the thing they should have done 14 weeks ago.

Oh, and since it is December, which is all Xmas time, I will include a bit of the story of the first xmas, as provided by the advent calendar that was sent to us by my parents.
"In the days when Herod was king of Judea, Mary was visited by an angel."

Because I am a product of pop culture, Herod reminds me of He-Man, and "visited by an angel" makes me think that David Boreanaz is going to be part of this story. Dude. A He-Man/Angel crossover fanfic would be sweet.
Or sour. But sweet if done correctly. Which, it wouldn't be. But in my mind, it would be a kick ass story.

I feel like there is something else to blog about, but since it's nearing midnight, I suppose whatever it is can wait until tomorrow.

Happy December, everyone!