Comedy comedy!

Non-halloween entry. And last one of the night. And month!

Funny things I've heard/read the past couple of days -

From Jupe:

"If I had nukes, I wouldn't waste them on children."

******

Spsh4 [9:55 PM]: On that same trip, I did run over a snake!
Jupe [9:56 PM]: Yay!
Spsh4 [9:56 PM]: Although we didnt' eat it.
Jupe[9:56 PM]: Snakes are scary!
Spsh4 [9:56 PM]: I felt bad.
Spsh4 [9:56 PM]: I also laughed about it.
Jupe [9:56 PM]: Snakes are scary.
Jupe [9:56 PM]: It was him or you, dude.
Jupe [9:56 PM]: Him or you.

******

Saren: "Dad. Listen. Angel. [pause] Los Angeles."

I kinda giggled. "Yup."

Saren: "Los...TVless."

I start laughing.

Saren: "Buffy...Los Buffyless."

In between laughter, I give her a puzzling look.

Saren: "You know, Buffy. Like, she's a buffalo."

******

Saren: "If the Universe swallows us in a black hole, it means it doesn't like us."

What are you supposed to be?

Costumes are great.

I always want to spend elaborate (and nonexistant) amounts of money and time making my costumes, but I never do. Or, you know, did. Since I don't really dress up anymore.

But in the past I always wanted to start preparing my get-up around like March. The ultimate dream costume I had in mind was this angel with wings, robes, halo, the whole 9 yards. And then, at midnight, I would have the costume change into a devil/demon thing. With horns, pitchfork, blah, blah, blah. It was incredibly cool looking in my mind's eye, anyway.

Probably my best Halloween costume (aside from the aforementioned Michael Jackson) was when I was a hooker. I shaved my legs. And armpits. I wore a bra. I ...um...tucked. I had a blonde wig. And wore makeup. I was, in a word, hot.

Or, um, maybe not.

The only thing I remember dressing up as any other year was the old standby of vampire. White makeup and fake teeth are simple, after all.

"Let me out! Let, let me out!"

~ Smashing Pumpkins, Cherub Rock.

It's also very much what my brain is screaming (my vocal cords are also screaming) during any trips into haunted houses.

I'm a huge ol' wuss.

I remember one year I went to a Haunted House with Jared (actually, that year we hit like 4 of them), and at one point a werewolf turned a corner, growling at us. I screamed, "Don't kill me, kill him instead!"

In a separate haunted house, a very large (and rather fake looking) spider dropped from the ceiling. My reaction? Dropping to the floor and cowering in the fetal position. (I kid you not) Jared had to pick me up off the floor and push me in order to keep going.

It always amazes me in the movies how people (or at least those who survive) aren't completely petrified with terror. [shrug] I guess if anything like that ever happens to me, I'll just wind up as zombie-food.

Every single one of us, the devil inside.

When I was in 6th grade, I became a devil worshipper.

Mrs. Beard, my home-room teacher that year, may have taught our class other things, but the only thing I remember from her curriculum was the fact that she was a Christian. And she used many many hours of class warning us of the dangers of Rock N' Roll, and of course, Satan himself.

Sounded pretty darn good to me, and some of my friends.

We didn't do anything harmful. We drew lots of pentagrams, upside down crosses, 666s, the whole rigamarole of "satanic" images. We listened to a lot of Motley Crue and Poison and (heh) Bon Jovi. (He's the DEVIL!!!) I had a lot of ...disturbing, I suppose is the best word, thoughts regarding my parents and my teachers and the people in our church, but I never followed through on any of them.

The whole thing blew up one summer when I was visiting my mother. My stepmom found my notebooks with the demonic drawings. When I came home at summer's end, there was a confrontation. I'm sure it was ugly, and there was probably tears, but luckily my brain has decided to block all of that memory out. Yay for repression!!

Of course now, I believe in neither God nor Satan. Now I worship Pepsi.

Let's see if I can scare something up.

All right. I've succumbed to the peer pressure of my spouse to attempt to take part in the Blog-a-thon. And I'm even going to try to make them Halloweenesque in nature. Excellent.

Except, of course, that I have nothing (Halloweeny) to write about right now. Ugh.

My stream-of-conciousness thoughts have been going something like this, though:

Night of the Living Dead, zombies, oslowe, scary movies with michael jackson screaming like a little girl, and a new Scary Movie 4 next year making fun of superhero movies. Bally was Superman. And Spartacus.

One year I Michael Jackson for halloween. ALthough I looked nothing like him. I was wearing a Santa Claus beard, dreadlocks, a bowler cap, and a fake muscle chest.
On second thought, I guess that is rather Michael Jacksonish.

Mmm. Trick or treating begins in about 3 hours. Yay for free candy.

Scratch that, reverse it.

It's not that I don't have anything to say, it's that I don't want to say it.

Right?

The trip to Cali was brief, and filled with peril and adventure and whatnot, but I'm really not in the mood to go into detail about it. Tough pickles, as Mario might say.

Uh...PMA time.

Yes. (also, I didn't know it was a question. I always assumed it was a statement of fact.)

Because what are ya gonna do - starve?

Meh. And it's by the Scorpions. I think.

Yes. Some of them are. (this would be where I'd provide the links, if I were feeling so inclined. And if I'd done the work.)

Somehow, I don't think I'm going to be doing the October version of the blog-a-thon. There's always next month. (for the next 9 years, anyway.)

Potato peeler!!!

[laugh] Man, that was priceless.

So, it's early, and we're going to drive through hell (literally!!) in order to get to Disneyland.

The state, the state, the state is on fire.

I'm setting the VCR to record SpAngel while we're away. Hope we don't have our cable turned off before that happens.

My feet are freezing!!

God, I want a Pepsi.

In other news - last night before going to sleep, I had a really great idea for my November Novel. Excellent.

Is that all?

Your soul is worth £21386. For your peace of mind, 45% of people have a purer soul than you.

From the We Want Your Soul site.

I'm havin' trouble tryin' to sleep.

It's nearly 3:30, and i'm still up, and worse - I'm NOT TIRED!!

This bites.

I was gonna post this question on the WD, but meh. Can't be arsed to log in, so I'll ask here:

What do you do when you can't sleep?

Can we vote the Bush family off the island?

Please? All of them?

Two days ago, on the Fucking News, Barbara Bush was there, criticizing the Democratic Presidentials.

So...Dubya is having hismom fight his battles now? What is he, like 8 years old? [rolleyes]

And then yesterday on our NewsTicker the information scrolled by stating that the Florida woman who was in a coma and had her feeding tube removed ...well, apparently Jeb Bush ordered it back in.

I guess the brain-dead like to stick together.

Seriously, I just want to take that whole family and launch them into space. Give them some other planet to 'rule'. Let them interefere with other people's lives. I'm pretty sure the Earth won't miss them.

In other news, new episode of Spaingel tonight! Yay, right?

It was 20 years ago today...

Well, 20 minus 19. [doh2]

One year ago I started this blog. Of course, back then it was at pshift2.blogspot.com, and it was known as Patent Ambiguity. It had crazy changy colors, and I didn't have a commenting feature. So much has changed. And yet, the entries are still just as dull. [doh2]

And now, I think I'm off to go reminisce and reread some of my archives. Good times. Good times.

Pain means you're alive.

Pfft.

Anywhat, my teeth are killing me (I don't know what I did) and Stephanie and Harper are both feeling ill. Yippee.

I'm vastly overtired, and not in the mood at all to blog. Damnit.

At leatst tomorrow is my Friday. Although I only have one day off. [sigh] Work should suck it.

Reserving this space.

I don't have time right now, but I will be blogging later today, after work.

"Okay, let's kill this pig."

Not sure where it came from, but I said it the other day before doing my first ever switching of Gold 33 News @ 7.

It seemed ...apropos. I won't go into the massively boring details about how the shows went, but will simply sum up the past three days with a quick synopsis.

Monday (I wasn't running it) - In the words of corporate, "It was the worst news launch we have ever seen."
We watched it at home, and yes, it was pretty bad. I cringed. I laughed. I wondered what else was on.

Tuesday (my first time) - Smooth. There was a different director (Nancy, the director of Monday night's show, had been "reassigned" [eyebrow]), and he was pretty damn good. Not to toot my own horn, but so was I. [/smug]

Wednesday (tonight) - Heh. Nancy was back on deck, which everyone who had been there for Monday night took to be a bad omen. And oddly enough, it became a bad omen. Sort of. The way we have the news set up, our national news comes off the satellites via a hook up to the Corporate Headquarters in Baltimore. Well, today, Baltimore was having audio problems, so it was up to Nancy to fill the local stuff for an additional 10 minutes or so while the problem was fixed. She had me shuffle some spots and rearrange some breaks, but I think she handled it extremely well. Eventually we got Baltimore back up and running with audio, and I'm sure the audience had no clue that there was a semi-crisis. Which is all that matters.

So, yeah. News is here, and it's not all that horrible. Which pleases me greatly.

The bad thing? I'm on 33, which means I don't "run" the WB shows. So tonight, despite having Angel on right next to me, I didn't really get a chance to watch it. And Stephanie forgot to record it. Doh. Fortunately, I nabbed the DVC pro tape of it, and I'll transfer it to VHS tomorrow. Take that, Universe!

In other news, I woke up this morning about two minutes before the phone rang. At 6 am. The freakin' sun wasn't even up yet, but someone was. It turned out to be Sears. Again.

They've called me three times in as many days, looking for someone with my name who has apparently become delinquent on his Sears card payments. I know that I'm not the Herb they're looking for (heh) because I don't have any credit cards. I've told them this each time, and they've then apologized. I explained it to them again this morning, and I sincerely doubt they'll be calling back. The guy on the phone sounded a bit scared. Truth be told, hearing my voice, I was a bit scared too.

Highlights of last nights dream: Ordering food at Wendy's, get my order (chicken nuggets) and it's swarming with ants. Disgusted and outraged, I threaten to call the Health Department. The dream jumps, and instead Stephanie and I are in the restaraunt lobby after hours with a teenage employee who is mopping the floor. We're discussing with her how much wage slavery sucks, and starting to segway into Ishmael territory (with the phrase, "What are you going to do - starve?" of all things) when the governor (a man in a suit) gets out of a government issued van and is coming to do a surprise inspection. Wendy's girl tells us to get out (or at least hide), and that's when the alarm woke me up.

I need a haircut.

Oh yeah!

Also - I got a PM from someone on the Nanowrimo site! It's from someone who runs Meet&Greets and whatnot in Nevada, urging me to go to the Nevada Forum that the site has there.

This person tracked me down (probably doing profile searches) and discovered I was in Vegas. And she sounds all...I don't know. It's left me kinda freaked out. I don't do public meetings very well. And I'm just not sure how involved (with other people) I want to be with regard to my "novel".

Banned posts.

I've got two (at least) things I want to type about, but they seem to be blocked in my brain.

I hate when that happens, and it seems to be happening to me a lot lately. I'm probably doing something wrong with my chi or ...something.

I think I need some candy corn.

Also - it's hilarious that there's a bring gaffer back campaign. I hope when I get banned (what?) that people simply move on. I know I would.

Anywhat - as a reminder to myself about what the topics were going to be, so I can post them in the future...the titles were: Yabba Dabba Do! and Leadership (the latter one has been one that I was going to post on the WD for...well, nearly a year and a half now.)

The Middle Ages sucked.

I won't go into the horrible details, but overall the Renaissance Faire was not an enjoyable day out. Damnit.

Gah. I had more to say, but I dont' think tonight is the night I'll post it.

I will say this - people should not write in library books. Or, rather, if they're going to, it should be something intelligent. Or at least relevant.

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping ...into the future.

Gawd.

We all have a limited amount of time on this planet, and I'm currently overloading myself. Because it's fun! [/sarcasm]

In addition to the project that I mentioned several weeks back (now at a stand-still) and a not-before-mentioned other project (WD related), I've now gone and joined the insanity that is the NaNoWriMo. I do believe that in order for me to complete any portion of it, I'll be writing most of mine the old fashioned way.

On paper.

Otherwise, I might as well just install some software in my head, and spend my whole life in front of a computer screen.

Ideas for what to write about are more than welcome, too. I've got ideas, of course, but hearing others is always fun. I think what I'll most likely end up with is a hybrid of something I've got in my head and the stuff that is thrown out there by the P@riots. We'll see.

In other news, we're now under 10000 miles from hitting the 123456 mark on the car's odometer. I believe the mileage is currently at 113499. So, guesses as to when it will hit the sacred mark are now being accepted. I do loves my games.

In other other news, we've got the Ren. Fair on Sunday. Bitchin' camaro.

Sweet Dreams are made of these.

Yay! Dream entry!

Since my personal life is so mind-numbingly dull, I'll entertain you all with the goings on of my nocturnal imaginings.

Three dreams I've had in the past week or so:

Dream 1:

Mostly involved floating down a river (the Mississippi?) and the fact that I owned a psychic chicken. This chicken would always give predictions that were simultaneously vague and specific. Talk about annoying.

The bird was dubbed the "Chicken of the See" (get it?) and the joke (in the dream) was that the animal was not a tuna.

Dream 2:

A movie called Flowers (I still don't know why. There were no flowers in it, and, as far as I could tell, no character with that name). The movie starred Robert Redford (that was me) and a very young Jennifer Lopez. (Jennifer Lopez ROCKS!! [/personal joke])

Apparently, J-Lo was a time traveller from the future. Redford discovered her secret, but so did some branch of the government. The movie mostly consisted of Lopez running from both me and the agents, all the while having time change due to things being changed.

The two scenes I remember were when I was making a speech on telelvision, and the amount of time that had passed kept changing. "23 hours ago" (zap!) "24 hours ago" (zap!) "12 hours ago"... and there was a scene in a parking garage where I was more or less cornered by the FBI (or whoever it was) and the number of bullets in my gun was changing constantly.

The movie either took place in 1982, or was supposedly released in '82. Either way, I want to see it.

Dream 3:

This one I had last night. It's a bit fuzzy, but the gist was that some combination between Lord Voldemort and Darth Vader had actually won, and had been in control of (wherever) for 1000 (or was it 100?) years. Hagrid was there, and was serving the Dark Lord, but I remember he gave me (I'm not sure who I was) a knowing glance, which seemed to say, "Don't worry. I'm just playin' along until the time is right".

The odd thing is, that even though The Big Bad Evil had conquered the forces of "good", life was overall pretty decent.

And then...the Titanic rose back from the bottom of the ocean. This made the Voldemort/Vader guy really nervous. In fact, everyone in the (wherever) was freaking out about it (which is pretty understandable).

The Voldemort guy decided to do a spell that would allow him to see all the dead people from a specific date. (I believe he picked November 9th, but I forget the year) The whys of this ...I don't know. I think he wanted to interrogate the folks who would be on the Titanic, to try to find out who was behind the ship's rising.

Anywhat, there were a lot of children in Halloween costumes (my brain does not follow your Earth Logic), along with a bunch of sports fans who had died in a bus crash. But the people who the V-man was looking for weren't there. He was outraged.

I suggested to him that it was because they were on the ship, and no longer dead that the spell hadn't allowed him to see them. He concurred, and decided that it was time to board the Titanic.

It was at that moment that I awoke.

My dreams are fun.

sjkyjsofh

BLAGH!!!

I didn't get the job.

Oregon Trail only has the one disk downloaded, so we've only got half the game.

My belly is going to burst.

Will, Annika, and Soupy all didn't like last night's Spaingel.

Stephanie's got to keep the car tomorrow.

I know there are good things right now, but I'm having a hard time coming up with them. I blame it on being UTP@. (Heh. Steph: "Being tired doesn't give you the right to be an asshole."
Me: "Then what does?")

Dude, where's my entry?

I've spent the past half-hour staring at a blank screen. Wait, that's not entirely true.

I did have about half an entry typed out (it was about Ed) but deleted it because it was blah.

I then did a little blog-hopping in hopes that something would spark an idea. No go.

Then, I went to this site which filled me with a little bit of hope, but didn't really make me want to blog anything.

I then came back to my ol' familiar blank screen, and finally decided to just start typing. The title was inspired by a line from Gargoyles which is on right now. Elissa said, "Where's my car?" which reminded me of the movie (I didn't see the film, but I, of course, know the title), and the rest is (or, um, will be) history.

The past two days off of work have been wonderful. It's a shame they go by so quickly, though.

And now, since I've not updated in a gabillion years, a recap of some of the stuff that's gone on in my life in the past two weeks or so.

• (re)discovered Trader Joe's. That is of the good.

• Had a date with Stephanie. We had a very expensive dinner with really crappy service, followed by driving about 20 miles beyond the city limits to star gaze. That was awesome. Excpet for the coldness factor. Man, we're wimpy.

• Had a kind of play date with Jared and his daughter, Anastasia. She's grown a lot since I saw her last.

• Went to the library, where I checked out The Golden Compass, um..some mystery-type novel, and Ishmael.

• Speaking of books - I read the 3rd Aretmis Fowl book, and I believe that one to be the best in the series. I didn't care for #2 all that much, but #3 was back on track.

• Had (still have) some sort of bruised lung/clogged artery type of injury. Not fun. At all. But I think my body has pretty much healed itself. Yay!

• Had a "practice run" on the Fucking News®. It doesn't seem like it will be too intrusive, but then again, I've not yet experienced the real thing.

• The fucking Terminator got elected. Whatever.

• Fed ducks and geese and pigeons at the park. That was fun, and pretty damn cool. Also, watched pigeons trying to "get it on". Heh.

• Roy got attacked by a tiger! Dude.

• Tarzan is not as lame as I feared it would be, but not as cool as it was hyped up to be, either.

• I'm predicting that Harold Abbot's sister (the redhead) will wind up being "gay now". Because it would tie in with the Buffyverse.

• Tomorrow (now today, due to the technicality of midnight and all that crap) will be my last time I have to go to work at 7am. Unless I get the promotions gig. (Still haven't heard back one way or another about that.) Also if I get that, onlineness at work might be more likely. Woo!

And with that, I'm fresh out of bullets.

Evil.

I work around computers all day long, but not a single one of them allows Internet access.

This is just wrong. It's akin to having a starving (ha!!) person cook all day long, but not allow them to sample any of the food.

I'll be back online later, hopefully.

There is water at the bottom of the ocean.

I'm UTP@, but it may be for the last time.
See, it seems that Fucking News® is beginning on the stations on the 13th. (Yeah, that's a good sign [doh2]) and Tommie (my supervisor) told me today that he wants his "A-Team" (his words) to be the ones who work the shift that would be covering Fucking News®.

His A-Team would be me, Troy, and Mike.

I think I might be B.A. Barracus, mostly due to my hair, foo!!

But really, I'm probably more Mad Dog (or do I mean Faceman? [sigh] I don't rememeber well enough. [/sad geek])

Anywhat, the point is, my schedule will most likely be changing. My days off might be changing in addition. Which, yeah, whatever. I'd prefer to have my days off be Monday thru Sunday, but somehow I doubt that's doable right now.

Moving on.

You know what helps? Looking up. The simple act of looking up into the sky - day or night - and just gazing into the depths of the universe changes you. If only minutely, and if only temporarily. It's a nice way to help. I think it's because gazing skyward is something primeval and human (in the best sense of the word). I also think it's because in our post-modern (whatever that means) world, we don't do it enough.

We went to the park today, and spent some time laying on the ground and staring at clouds. It was incredibly nice.

The other day we were having lunch outside of Wild Oats, and I leaned back in my chair and just stared up for about 30 seconds. I liked doing that. I think I'm going to look up more often.

Also at the park, we played Frisbee for a while. I recalled that I used to spend a long time in my youth playing frisbee. In Alaska, we spent hours flinging frisbees around the neighborhood, doing "frisbee tricks". Mostly, that consisted of bouncing them off the pavement, or throwing one up into the air, and then having the other discs try to hit it on the way down. Or hitting/avoiding parked cars. [wink]

It made me want to use our frisbee more often with the girls.

It is, to restate the obvious, a new month. Normally when the month changes, I have a difficult time writing the write date at work. Today, though, I didn't. I knew it was 10/2, and never once wrote 9/anything. I don't know why. Perhaps October has some kind of special magic to it. I even commented on something like that earlier today to Steph. About how October knows that Halloween is coming, so to prepare it is getting darker earlier.

Wow. This has been rambly and super dull.
Same as it ever was. [tongue]

robotce

So, in my dream last night, Tom Skerrit was George W. Bush. Yeah. I don't know either.

I've gotten the first part of my 'project' done! I'm so excited! Depending on how things go, I should have the rest of it uploaded and complete for your viewing pleasure (or, disdain) in a matter of days. Woo!! Finally, when it's done, I'll be able to talk about it without having to be all cryptic.

In less than 30 minutes, new Smallville and Spangel episodes! Yay! That means I'll need to start going back to TWOP on a regular basis. Doh.

My other masterpiece (the Perth story), while not coming along, has suddenly become interesting to me again. Pretty much since I came up with the idea, I've not known how it was going to end. Last night I thought of an idea, that, while doesn't tell me the ending will certainly help me get there. So that's a big Yay!

And now Saren wants on to play a computer game.

Secret agent stuff.

Woops. Due to last post being all "Grumpy ol' troll", I forgot to mention the Alias thing I was going to mention.

[Begin spoiler for The Two - highlight to view]

The Sydney in the videotape had the same knife (or same style of knife) as the Russian Assassin Guy. And AND!!! When Sydney killed (??) the Russian Assassin Guy, he got stabbed in the stomach in the same place that Sydney has her scar!!!

I don't know what it means, but it must mean something!

Because if I don't update, bad things will happen.

Shit, man.

It's a new month. October.

I hated this past week. It sucked beyond all telling. It was really really bad. Like, "Holy fuck, something or someone somewhere must end living soon" bad.

But, hey, it's over now. Right?

And later today (it's after midnight) there is new Spangel! Which is of the good. Hopefully.

Catching up on all the blogging that's been going on has been whirrly for the ol' brain. Annika and Will engaged ("Make it so!" heh. I amuse myself so easily), Heath & Jess living through Toilet Flood '03, other stuff.

Ya ever feel like you've spent a week of your life doing stuff for other people, and that it was all really, just wasted time? A nice chunk of your recent past just gone? Yeah. That's a fun feeling. (Note: Fun is used sarcastically in the previous sentence)

We mailed stuff to people last week. I'm pretty sure that happened.

Blegh. Maybe when I wake up I'll be recharged enough to put words into an order that makes a modicum of sense. Here's hoping.