Haiku Review: Lost - He's Our You

The flashbacks are back!
Or are they flashforwards? Ehh.
Time is meaningless.

How does Sayid prove
to his dad that he's manly?
Choking his chicken.

Sayid in a cage,
Ben gives him chicken sandwich.
What's with all the fowl?

Sayid and Ben talk
Ben more or less says, "I'll get
you out of here, pal."

Sawyer gives Sayid
multiple chances to get
out, but he's not game.

So the Dharma clan
take Sayid to visit the
local torturer.

(Which makes me wonder
why does a group of hippies
have a torturer?)

He's given some drugs
to make him tell the truth, which
he does, but come on...

...who is gonna buy
the truth? It's too outlandish.
So Sayid's recaged.

Ben's dad mops up near
Sayid's cage. Ben shows up with
more food. Dad flips out!

Christ, what an asshole!
He bangs young Ben's head on the
bars, and spills the food.

Ha ha, joke's on him!
He'll have to clean that up! (Or
get Jack to do it.)

Speaking of Jack, he's
eating Hurley-cooked food with
Kate. They speak of James.

Kate is the last to
know that Sawyer has moved on.
Kate is... kinda dumb.

Back to Sayid! In
his flashbacks: he kills the last
guy on Ben's 'kill' list.

Ben says, "All right. Thanks!"
Sayid's all, "Um. Well, now what?"
Ben shrugs. "See ya 'round!"

So Mr. Jarrah
goes to build houses instead
of breaking necks. Then...

Ben shows up. "You have
to come back!! There are people
(like me) you must kill!"

But once at the dock,
Sayid says, "Aw, hell no!" And
leaves to get wasted.

He meets Ilana
at a bar. Seduction, guns
and handcuffs follow.

So now we know how
Sayid got on the plane and
that takes us back to...

Dharma. Where they vote
to execute Sayid!! Jeez!
Worst. Hippies. Ever.

Before that happens,
the community is shocked
by a flaming bus.

Seems young Ben set the
bus afire to distract the
guards and save Sayid.

The two make their way
into the jungle, but are
stopped briefly by Jin.

When Jin starts to call
for backup, Sayid flips him,
knocks him out, takes gun.

Then Sayid says, "Screw
history! I'll kill baby
Hitler right now!" Bang!

Sayid shot young Ben
in the chest! I suspect that
Ben read Marty's note.

Haiku Review: Lost - Namaste

Maybe it was the
two week delay between eps,
but this was ...not great.

Granted, it was no
Stranger in a Strange Land, but
it was no Constant.

Anyway. On with
the show. Frank Lapidus pulls
a "Sully". Nice job!

Well, his co-pilot
might disagree, but you get
the point. (So does he!)

Ben leads Sun to some
outriggers. She thanks him with
an oar to the head.

Sun and Frank row, row,
row their boat to Craphole, where
Christian awaits them.

Meanwhile, in the past,
Jack, Kate and Hurley are brought
in as Dharma crew.

And Sayid is caught
by Radzinsky, who thinks he's
a Hostile/Other.

Sawyer locks him up
and in the end young Ben brings
Sayid a sandwich.

:/

There are certain bloggers i wish would update more often, but I totally get that they don't.

I had(have) more to say, but honestly, even typing this is a struggle. My mind is just NOT in the mood to type text right now. (Which begs the question of why I'm bothering to post this at all. I don't know, precisely, why, I think it's because there's a part of me - a very nagging, irritating, persistent part of me - that also wants to write. Write something. So I'm caving to that part - but the other part that has nothing to say or thinks anything I do say is boring trash - is winning. Hrm.

Blah. This was a very mundane entry. Perhaps the word verifications will spice things up a bit. If you reply, work your wv into your comment. You know. If you want.

Don't blame me, I voted for Voldemort*

It's been a while since I've done a Church Sign Wisdom post - partly because it's been a while since they've updated their signage, and partly due to not having anything witty to say about the previous signs when they have changed it. I mean, there's not really anything funny about BIBLE CLASS
WEDNESDAYS 7PM

(Well, there might be. But you know what I mean.)

Anyway. They've updated the marquee, and it's ...oddly worded, I think is a fair assessment.
The new message:

THE PROBLEM IS NOT
WHO IS PRESIDENT
BUT WHO IS LORD

Well there we go. We just have to vote out God, and everything will be so much better.


*I was debating what title to use for this entry. It was always going to be "Don't blame me I voted for [name]" but the options that I was waffling between were: "Voldemort", "Fauntleroy", "Vader", or "Tracy" (all Lords), or going the other way, "Zeus", "Odin", or "Yahweh". Not certain which choice was actually funniest, but I think Voldemort works best, obviously. The merit of the choices can be debated in the comments, if you'd like.

Haiku Review: Lost - LaFleur

Locke goes down the hole,
the gang sees the statue from
the back, fans go nuts.

There's one more flash then
...No more time jumps! Looks like Locke
set things right again.

Well, mostly right. Seems
Sawyer and pals are gonna
relive through disco.

James interrupts a
Dharma/Others picnic/fight
thus saving Amy.

Amy leads them to
the Dharma camp, where Sonic
Fence knocks them out cold.

Our favorite con-man
gets grilled by Horace Goodspeed,
lies convincingly.

Horace says, "Ya'll can
leave Craphole via our sub!"
Then Richard shows up.

Sawyer goes to chat
with Mr. Never Ages,
persuades him to chill.

Horace says, "Nice job.
You can stay two weeks." (Which is
like three years Lost-time)

Later, Amy goes
into labor - Juliet
delivers the boy!

James and Juliet
are so happy together!
Then Jin calls. Guess what.

Freckles is back on
the Island, to make things suck.
(And Jack will help, too.)

I was hoping James
would end the show by saying,
"Hey Kate! ...Where's Aaron?"

Haiku Review: Lost - The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham

Much later in the day than I had originally planned on posting these, but what are ya gonna do?


After turning the
wheel, Locke (re)meets Widmore, who
says, "War's a-comin'."

Widmore gives John a
new identity. Time to
bend it like Bentham.

Also from Widmore -
creepy driver Abaddon!
Locke's all, "Um. Gee. Thanks?"

First Locke goes to see
Sayid. "We have to go back,"
says John. Sayid: "No."

Next Locke visits WAAAAALT!
He doesn't ask him to go
back, causing much ire.

Seriously, if
that was the send-off for WAAAAALT,
I'ma be pissed, dudes.

Next up is Hurley,
who is convinced that Locke's dead.
Not yet, dude. Not yet.

Hugo doesn't want
to listen to John once he
spots Abaddon. Smart!!

So far, Locke's batting
zero. And his talk with Kate
is no different.

You know what will cheer
you up, Locke? Finding out your
ex-girlfriend is dead.

Or being shot at
by Ben's lackeys, who do kill
Abaddon. A LOT.

And then a car crash
so Dr. Jack can work you
over. Nice one, Jack!

At his apartment,
Ben shows up and says, "Hey Locke,
how's it hanging?....Locke?"

Then Ben Linus came
to talk him down. But he don't
need advice, he's down.

And things seemed okay
until Locke mentioned Hawking.
Ben...went kinda nuts.

Now that both Ben and
Locke are back (and living) on
Craphole... well...NOW what?

Yep.

The wordle cloud for February's entries is here.
I... apparently *really* like the word really. (Really!)

Thanks, Allison!

I felt like blogging, but had (of course!) nothing to blog about. So I was surfing other people's blogs, and found that Allison had asked a bunch of questions. So that gave me something to say. Hooray!!

# Why is it so easy to read 30 blogs every day and so hard to write just one?
I KNOW!! Although sadly, I find it difficult to read 30 blogs, too.

# Remember when Heroes used to be good?
Yeah. Remember when I gave up on it (on a weekly basis)? Why do I keep going back to it? Oh, Heroes, I wish I could quit you.

# I am listening to Fields of Gold by Sting (shut up! I like Sting). Why is it so much sexier when someone kisses "her mouth" instead of "her lips"?
I... don't really have an answer for that.

# Maybe if I refilled the bird feeder, the pretty birds would come back. Unfortunately, that currently entails navigating the sea of dog poop that is currently my backyard.
Heh. That's not really a question. But, you know, that would make a pretty decent online game.

# You really didn't need that last bit of information, did you?
It's all good. I mean, everybody poops.

# I didn't give up anything for Lent. I never give up anything for Lent. Do you?
Nope. What with the not being Catholic and all.

# I thought the Academy Awards rocked this year. I especially liked the groups of five previous winners doing the acting nominations. I thought it gave real power to the idea that it was an honour just to be nominated. Seemed to me that most of the actors really appreciated the acknowledgment. Since when did giving people compliments become boring?
I agree.

# This is very nearly a BoQ, isn't it? Don't you miss BOQs? How do you write bOq?
Yes. Yes. I usually say 'boq'.

# I had iTunes Genius make me some playlists from my music. It pretty much scored a home run.
TNAQ. But... what is iTunes Genius? Sounds intriguing.

# Are you looking forward to baseball season? Do you ever look forward to a sporting season?
Not so much, no. (Sorry!)

# I have fingerling potatoes to roast for supper tonight. You envy me, don't you?
I don't really know what fingerling potatoes are, but right now I'm starving and ANYTHING sounds delicious. So, um. Yes.

# What state would you most like to visit?
Idaho. Just to visit, though.

# After I wrote the last item, the Genius playlist just moved to New York State of Mind. It really is a Genius, isn't it?
"Who knows the wily mind of computers?" ;)

# Have you watched Life on Mars? You really should. Trust me.
I've seen promos for it. Does that count?

# Which reminds me: I am actually feeling somewhat nostalgic for the 70s. I blame Milk, The Pursuit of Happyness and the aforementions LOM. What decade do you feel nostalgia for?
The 90s, weirdly. They just had some really good music. Although I suspect that the 20s probably will as well. We'll just have to see.

# I think this one is done for now. Thanks for playing
Hey, no problem! Tell me what I've won!

Haiku Review: Lost - 316

Hello, Lamppost. What
ya knowing? Can you tell where
the Island's going?

We finally learn
Eloise Hawking's middle
name - Exposition.

Kate says, "Don't hold on
to things that make you sad." I
say, "Like toy airplanes?"

Anyone else wish
that when changing Locke's shoes Jack
had counted his toes?

Bloody Ben better
not have hurt Desmond, Penny
or baby Charlie!

Not really down with
the whole Kate and Sun giving
up their kids angle...

Jin!?! In Dharma clothes?!!?!!!
Does that mean they're stuck in the
'70's? Groovy.

Haiku Review: Lost - This Place is Death

I wonder if I even need to spoiler-tag my haikus. Unless I hear otherwise, I think I won't anymore.

Montand (the French guy)
versus Smokey. Smokey wins!
Give that guy a hand!!

Ben's meeting on the
pier...didn't go so well. Kate
leaves, so does Sayid.

Aww. Sawyer and Jin
share a hug. And now, onto
the Orchid, to find...

Well, well, well. Looks like
Locke got himself buried. But!
He did turn the wheel.

Note to the ladies:
Don't fall in love with Daniel!
(Unless you like death.)

Ben, Desmond, Jack, Sun
are with Mrs. Hawking, who
says, "Let's get started."

Haiku Review: Lost - The Little Prince

I need to pick a specific day to start doing these, rather than jumping through the week. Perhaps Sundays will be the new Lost review days.

Spoilers, of course:


Oh, look! Sawyer found
a DVD of season
one in the jungle!

"Run when trouble brews."
That was Kate's motto back then.
And...she hasn't changed.

"I can fix it!" was
Jack's mantra pre-Island and...
he's not changed either.

No Rose or Bernard
on the Future(?) beach. Are they
Adam's and Eve's bones?

Jin's alive! Not a
surprise, still good to see him.
Time to learn French, Jin.

Digital Conversion - 0111001101101110011000010110011001110101

In a move that will please nobody, the House approved the delay on the Digital Transition date, from February 17th to June 12th.
However, the bill allows stations to switch off their analog signals early - provided that a) they file with the FCC by February 9th and b) that the FCC approves it.

Sigh.

Of course stations want to turn their analog signals off on the 17th. Running two transmitters - both analog and digital - costs money. Depending on who you talk to, the cost of keeping the analog going will be anywhere between 5,000 and 20,000 dollars per month. Either way, that's pretty pricey. Many stations have not budgeted keeping their transmitters running an additional four months. (And rightfully so. The fricking 2/17/09 date was set TWO. YEARS. AGO.)

Additionally, this delay means an extra 4 months of talking about the transition for stations. It means an additional 2 more quarters of having to file the 388 forms with the FCC [the 388s are the forms they require stations to submit that keep track of how many DTV transition PSAs, crawls, and advertisements they've aired over the past 3 months]. It also means that the public is going to be more confused as to when the transition actually takes place. And let's not get started on the amount of confusion, irritation, and non-conformity that is going to result with *some* stations being able to make the transition early, while others wait until March. Or May. Or June. Christ.
And the kicker is, the whole point of pushing this back was because there are reportedly some 6.5 million households still not "entirely" prepared for the switchover. (Some people state that those reports are exaggerated. I get that, because we are, by Nielsen's standards, not entirely prepared, since we have one TV with a converter box and one TV without. That being said, we're still ready, because we really only watch the one with the converter box hooked up.) But, the thing is, there will ALWAYS be people who aren't going to take action until they absolutely have to. Punishing everyone else because of their inaction makes no sense.
And really, would not having television access be such a horrible thing? Proponents claim that citizens require the ability to get emergency information, but, um. Radio? The Internet? Friends?? I mean, it's highly irritating that this much importance has been placed on the digital transition to begin with, but the fact that it's being screwed up is like icing on the cake.

Bah. I know that the above was very stream-of-consciousness-esque and probably didn't make as much sense as it should have, but it's been a long day and I felt like ranting.

Haiku Review: Lost - Jughead

Better late than never, no? Although I don't know that these are all that illuminating or remarkable haikus. It was a good episode, just not one that lends itself to Japanese poetry, apparently.

That being said, spoilers!

Papa Widmore was
on the Island way back when.
AND was an Other!

Daniel's favorite
band must be U2. (Get it?)
Hope things don't go boom.

John Locke and Richard
Alpert - BFFs!! Are they
each others Constants?

One more day until a new episode!

6 more weeks of winter

Apparently Phil saw his shadow (again!), so according to folklore, we're due for six more weeks of winter. Of course, it was 62 degrees out today, so I won't complain with another month and a half of that type of weather.

Yesterday was busy.
In addition to the birthday celebration of Irina, I also got my haircut, and Buffybowl 8* happened.


*Looking back over the years, I've never quite pinpointed exactly what number it is. But from here on out, it's officially going to be that yesterday's was the 8th one. Now, if only I can remember that for next year.

For Irina's birthday, we ate at both DQ and Chuck E. Cheese. Paragons of health are we!
That being said, she greatly enjoyed the outings. Especially going to Sunset Park for a while in the afternoon in order to enjoy the awesome "winter" weather we're currently experiencing.
We also ventured into Toys 'R' Us, where we found that they had WiiFit in stock. Woo! The girls have been spending all day tight rope walking and hula-hooping and doing yoga. Fun!

The Buffybowl game was another showdown between Adam and the Scoobies. Adam, of course, won, because Saren was Evil, and Saren always wins. (She's claiming that she's going to play as Good next year. I'm typing this as a way of reminding her of this fact.)
Actually, I think that Buffy would've taken Adam out ...if he'd been on the board from the beginning!! [Yes, due to an error by the Powers That Be, Adam didn't get placed on the board until about halfway through the game, and was thus completely safe from any attacks. Of course, in Season 4, Adam didn't really show up until about halfway through, so in that way it was more accurate.]
But, in the end, even with the Glove of Mahna-Mahna, Buffy could not defeat the evil demon, and was killed by Spike. Sad.

The commercials we witnessed were ...okay. We didn't see much of them, but from all reports of what I've read/seen today, I don't think we're any poorer for having not seen them. We did see the 3-D commercials, and we did have our 3-D glasses, but none of us were overly impressed with the results. Apparently NBC went and lessened the effects so that people who didn't have the glasses would be able to see the spots with less problems, which is... really a bonehead move, actually. Why go through all the trouble of promoting the technology if you're not going to actually use it? [sigh] We're looking forward to Chuck tonight, which is also supposed to be in 3-D, but we like Chuck regardless of how many Ds it's in. :)

Today I had an interview with the local PBS affiliate. I'm feeling confident about it, but dumbly I forgot to ask, "When will you make a decision?" so now...it's a waiting game, then.

Obligatory

Is it just me, or does it feel like it's been January all year long?

Actually, aside from today, this month has gone quite quickly. But I still have to use that joke every year.

What is "somewhat disappointing"?

I just took the online Jeopardy! test.
But after it was all over, it stated that regardless of how well you perform, you will *not* be notified of your score. Harumph! I mean, I know I didn't do well, but I was kinda hoping to know just exactly where I fall in the grand scheme of things.
Oh well.

In other news, I've got to write my Lost haikus for last night's episode, but my mind's just not in it yet. Sometime before next week, I'm sure.

In other other news, this Sunday is Irina's 4th birthday. Four! Crikey. I suspect we'll celebrate by taking her out to dinner, making cake, and just focusing on her all day. I can't wait!

Urban Dictionary Meme

Mostly posting this so that I've got something new up. And something that isn't a haiku.
I found this meme weeks ago from Zen Momma's Garden.

Rules:
a) Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answers to the following questions.
b) Post your favorite definition it gives you -- or just post the first one. (or multiple answers if it's just too funny.)
c) Tag 4 people. Leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged.
d) Those people, if so inspired, should do the same. (I don't do the tagging thing. I believe that memes should spread on their own accord. ;))

1) Your name?
2) Your age?
3) Your favorite drink?
4) Favorite color?
5) Birthplace?
6) Month of your birth?
7) Where you live now?

My answers:
1) Your name?
P@ - "P@ isn't defined yet." True! I'm not!

2) Your age?
33 - A code-word for weed that can be used anywhere without anyone knowing what you're actually talking about. It's an evolution of the 1337 spelling for weed - 'w33d' The 33 was then taken from the middle of the word and is used on its own. Comes straight out of Caterham! Brap brap!
'Dude, are we gonna get 33 for this weekend??'

'Yes man! I've got 33 - let's get blitzed!'

3) Your favorite drink?
Pepsi - The main substitute for coke... both spend tens of millions of dollars on advertising a year and the effect is...
Customer: can i have a can of coke please?

Barman: sorry mate, only got Pepsi

Customer: that'll do!
Um ...yeah. Except I would never ask "Can I have a can of coke"

4) Favorite color?
Ultraviolet - A large part of the electromagnetic spectrumwhich is invisible to humans, but not insects or certain animals. It has a wavelength of 450 nannometers, about 4 nm from X-Ray wavelength. It is really cool to play with,too!
Urine, toenails, fingernails, and other materls glow,or flouress, under Ultraviolet light.

5) Birthplace?
Charleston - A gorgeous, old city in southern South Carolina. Not to be mixed up with North Charleston.
I went to Charleston and fell in love.

6) Month of your birth?
June - 1. The sixth month.

2. In Japan, an early publication featuring male/male stories in the tanbi style. People used to refer to the category of male/male relationships targeted at the female audience as June, but since that was a trade name for a magazine, that meaning of the term has fallen into disuse. The category has evolved and changed so much and the types of stories so varied that the entire category is now called BL by the industry and most fans. In some places, including Comiket, original stories are still called 'sousaku (original) June'.
1. My birthday is in June.

2. June is a thing of the past...
The better answer, though was #3, which said "The month the hottest people in the world are born."

7) Where you live now?
Las Vegas - American excess at its most excessive.

Everything that's bad about the United States all rolled into one location.

A colossal waste of energy, in the middle of nowhere.
Las Vegas should be seen at least once, if only to prove that it really does exist, and isn't the demented fantasy of a Hollywood set designer.
Superb.

Haiku Review: Lost - Because You Left/The Lie

Slight spoilers ahoy!

Because You Left
Time keeps on slippin'
into the fut...past... well, time
is slipping somewhere.

Sawyer is shirtless
the whole hour. So if you like
that, well, then enjoy!

The Lie
Poor Hurley. Haunted
by ghosts, and survivor's guilt.
Guy can't catch a break.

Oh, hello Vincent!
Nice to see you again. Ack!
Watch out for arrows!!



I'd've written longer, more detailed (and/or better) haikus, but I still need time to process the episodes, plus it's pretty early and my brain hasn't completley turned on yet. That being said, what did everyone else think? Feel free to discuss the show(s) in the comment section.

Haiku Review: Let the Right One In

Poor young Oskar is
often picked on by bullies.
He dreams of revenge.

Eli moves in next
door. She befriends Oskar and
tells him to fight back.

When Oskar learns that
Eli is a vampire, he's
like, "Cool. ...Don't eat me."

Oskar stands up for
himself. Eli kills random
townsfolk. The two bond.

The whole film is quite
haunting. The pool scene will stick
with me for a while.

Maybe the best thing
about Let the Right One In --
vampires don't sparkle.

End of an error

Feeling nostalgic for the past eight years of the Bush Administration? Then entertain yourself by looking over all The Onion articles relating to Dubya collected in one blog entry.