Sunday, March 29, 2009

Haiku Review: Lost - He's Our You

The flashbacks are back!
Or are they flashforwards? Ehh.
Time is meaningless.

How does Sayid prove
to his dad that he's manly?
Choking his chicken.

Sayid in a cage,
Ben gives him chicken sandwich.
What's with all the fowl?

Sayid and Ben talk
Ben more or less says, "I'll get
you out of here, pal."

Sawyer gives Sayid
multiple chances to get
out, but he's not game.

So the Dharma clan
take Sayid to visit the
local torturer.

(Which makes me wonder
why does a group of hippies
have a torturer?)

He's given some drugs
to make him tell the truth, which
he does, but come on...

...who is gonna buy
the truth? It's too outlandish.
So Sayid's recaged.

Ben's dad mops up near
Sayid's cage. Ben shows up with
more food. Dad flips out!

Christ, what an asshole!
He bangs young Ben's head on the
bars, and spills the food.

Ha ha, joke's on him!
He'll have to clean that up! (Or
get Jack to do it.)

Speaking of Jack, he's
eating Hurley-cooked food with
Kate. They speak of James.

Kate is the last to
know that Sawyer has moved on.
Kate is... kinda dumb.

Back to Sayid! In
his flashbacks: he kills the last
guy on Ben's 'kill' list.

Ben says, "All right. Thanks!"
Sayid's all, "Um. Well, now what?"
Ben shrugs. "See ya 'round!"

So Mr. Jarrah
goes to build houses instead
of breaking necks. Then...

Ben shows up. "You have
to come back!! There are people
(like me) you must kill!"

But once at the dock,
Sayid says, "Aw, hell no!" And
leaves to get wasted.

He meets Ilana
at a bar. Seduction, guns
and handcuffs follow.

So now we know how
Sayid got on the plane and
that takes us back to...

Dharma. Where they vote
to execute Sayid!! Jeez!
Worst. Hippies. Ever.

Before that happens,
the community is shocked
by a flaming bus.

Seems young Ben set the
bus afire to distract the
guards and save Sayid.

The two make their way
into the jungle, but are
stopped briefly by Jin.

When Jin starts to call
for backup, Sayid flips him,
knocks him out, takes gun.

Then Sayid says, "Screw
history! I'll kill baby
Hitler right now!" Bang!

Sayid shot young Ben
in the chest! I suspect that
Ben read Marty's note.


Amy said...

What's with all the fowl?

Oh no, Sayid's pregnant! [/Twilight joke]

why does a group of hippies
have a torturer?

Did you noticed that instead of actually torturing anyone he just kind of ... gave him LSD?

Ha ha, joke's on him!
He'll have to clean that up! (Or
get Jack to do it.)

I know!! I laughed.

DropEdge said...

Well done, sir. Well done! Stanzas two and three are especially awesome.