Haiku Review: Lost - The End

"It only ends once."
Well, actually, we got two
endings, didn't we?

This is what took place
in Sideways World: Each of the
characters "wakes up".

This "waking up: means
remembering their Island
life (and sometimes death).

As each character
has their epiphany, lots
of great music plays.

Most of these wake ups
happen thanks to loved ones from
their days on the Isle.

I guess in The End
the love you make is equal
to the love you wake.

I wanted to hear
"You All Everybody" at
the Drive Shaft concert.

I like to pretend
it was played during the Church
scene at the end, though.

But I'm not quite there.
Let's go to the Island and
see what happened there.

Desmond was rescued
by Rose, Bernard and Vincent.
(Yay, Vincent!! Good dog!!)

Only to be caught
by Smocke moments later. Then
Jack & co. show up.

Jack's all, "Let me take
you to the Light. The thing
I'm meant to protect."

Once there, Jack & Smocke
lower Des into the Light.
Des removes a cork.

Really. There's a stone
cork plugging up a hole. Des
pulls it out. Earthquake!!

The Island begins
to sink. Jack and Smocke battle.
Smocke is mortal now.

Smocke starts to cut Jack's
neck (I knew it!), but then Kate
shoots Smocke in the chest.

Jack kicks Smocke off a
cliff, and he falls to his death.
Well, that was simple.

But, even with Smocke
dead, the Isle is still sinking.
Must put back the cork.

Jack says he'll do it.
Hurley says it's suicide.
Kate and Sawyer leave.

They're on their way to
Hydra, where Frank and Richard
are alive and well.

Miles is with them, too,
and they're repairing the plane
with duct tape. Hee hee!

Jack needs to put the
cork back in. Since that will kill
him, he transfers the...

...title of "Island
Protector" to Hurley. First
smart thing Jack's done.

Jack gets lowered down
by Hurley and Ben. He puts
the giant cork back.

He has Hurley pull
Desmond back up. And that's it
for Des, Island-wise.

We don't see him get
reunited with Penny,
or his son, Charlie.

But, he does see them
in another life, brotha.
So...hooray for death?

And, it's implied that
Hurley, as the new Jacob,
helps Desmond get home.

Hurley asks Ben to
be the new Richard Alpert.
Aww. Hurley's so sweet.

Kate and Sawyer find
Claire, say, "Come with us." Claire says,
"No." Then says, "OK."

Kate, Claire, Frank, Richard,
Sawyer, and Miles are the new
Oceanic Six.

I guess technically
they're the Ajira Six. Point
is, they're who escape.

(Until 3 years pass
and Richard yells, "We have to
go back, Kate!!!" Ha ha)

Time to revisit
Sideways World one last time. We're
nearing the Ending(s).

The concert is done
and (You All) Everybody
is now at the Church.

Except Jack. He meets
up with Kate, who mentions how
long she has missed him.

Then she says she'll see
him at the Church for the Lost
cast wrap-up party.

Ben is outside the
Church. Hurley invites him in,
but Ben says, "No thanks."

Hurley tells Ben he
was a great number 2, and
Ben tells Hurley he...

...was a great number
one. I think they're talking 'bout
the "fan favorite" poll.

Jack enters the Church,
goes to his dad's coffin. He
opens it. ...empty!!

Christian's body is
always getting LOST, isn't
it? Oh, wait. He's here.

Standing behind his
son, Christian explains Sideways
World to Jack (and us).

All the people in
this world are dead. Some, like Boone,
from before Jack died.

Others, like Hurley,
died "much, much later". But, they're
all dead. ('cept David)

[I haven't figured
out David. Why would Jack and
Juliet make him?]

This world was a place
created by the Losties
for them to meet up...

...before they "move on".
Then (You All) Everybody
hugs and smiles and cries.

Christian opens the
Church doors, and there's a Light. (Same
Light from the Island?)

That's it for Sideways.
All Losties go to Heaven.
(Except those who don't)

But it's not The End.
Lost truly ends with Jack, now
almost at life's end.

He stumbles to the
spot he first woke up on the
Island, and lies down.

Vincent trods over
and kisses Jack's face, lies down
next to him (Good dog!!)

Jack watches as the
Ajira plane flies over.
At peace, Jack smiles, dies.

Lost concludes with a
close up of an eye shutting.
Hey! It's Matthew Fox!


So, there we have it. No more Lost. No more Lost haiku.
I was pretty disappointed with the finale, and I was going to rant at length about it here, but almost don't want to. I'm irritated that I've given it so much thought, even 5 days later. I want to "let go" of Lost myself. Maybe I do need to rant, just to be able to do so.
Lost was never a perfect program, during my rewatch of the first 4 seasons between season 5 & 6, I noticed a LOT of problems with it. But it was entertaining - wildly so in many instances, and for a very long time, I considered it my all time favorite show EVER. (Yes, even beating out Buffy and Angel. Because *those* programs have some pretty bad flaws too)
But the finale... and this final season...*sigh*
I wasn't expecting answers for everything. And it's not like I want the answers to be spoon-fed to me, but to have SO MANY THINGS just completely dropped altogether is a complete slap in the face.
Another haiku:

Dear Cuse and Lindelof,
Please look into this thing called
Chekov's gun. Thanks, P@.


Seriously. So many things were just red herrings. Volcanos, Walt's specialness, the Egyptian hieroglyphs, the Dharma food drops, the interconnections of the Losties before they boarded the plane... I'm sure many of you have already seen this, but here's a pretty funny list of "unanswered questions" from Lost.

The David abandonment was bothersome. Jack (and Juliet) create a fictional child to help themselves get over their own issues, and then, once they realize they're dead, and the kid doesn't exist, just go, "Oh, okay. On to heaven it is, then!"
And, of course, Sawyer doesn't get to bring his daughter to heaven.
And Aaron is there...but as a baby.
And Ji Yeon isn't there at all.
I think the writers might have issues.

Some of the other things I've seen around about how the finale could've been improved have been interesting. I liked the idea of having "Christian" actually be the Smoke Monster, and Sideways World was a trap he made to lead all the Losties into the Light. The final shot would have been of 20-some-odd Smoke Monsters destroying the world.

Another thing that's irritating about the finale is that despite the creators talking about how Lost was "about the characters, not the mysteries" is...no. They didn't wrap up any of the character's arcs except Jack. We don't know what happened with Richard, Kate, Sawyer, etc. Or Hurley and Ben (although apparently there's going to be "missing footage" on the DVD set of exactly that).
Or the Island itself. The Island was a charcter too, ya know. And, in fact, I'd say it was the one that people wanted to know the most about.
By leaving all these things unanswered, they have absolutely a) pissed off a LOT of people
and b) ensured that fanfic and sequels and comics and books and movies and spinoffs are absolutely going to happen. I hope they're happy, but I highly doubt I'll invest in any of them. I want to put the Lost universe behind me. (Wish me luck. I somehow doubt the Island is done with me.)

The best part about
Lost ending is I can stop
watching ABC.