Friday, May 14, 2010

Haiku Review: Lost - Across the Sea

Since Lost is wrapping
up, and there are lots of loose
threads, let's flash way back.

Pregnant woman winds
up stranded on the Island.
Whoa. Déjà vu, dude.

An unnamed woman
finds and takes in the pregnant
woman, Claudia.

Hmm. I think unnamed
woman needs a name. I think
Crazy Pants works well.

Some other names we
might consider: Smoke Momster,
or how about Eve?

Well, whatever we
call her, she ends up summing
up Lost perfectly:

"Every question I
answer will simply lead to
another question."

Claudia gives birth
to a boy named Jacob. As
well as his brother.

And then Crazy Pants
smashes Claudia's head in
with a rock. Brutal!

Since Jacob's brother
is never directly named,
we had to come up...

...with possible names:
Milo, José, Boy in Black.
Or how about Adam?

Years pass. Crazy Pants
raises Jacob and Milo,
fills their heads with lies.

Lies such as: there is
nothing except the Island,
men are dangerous.

...Okay, that's more a
generalization than an
outright lie, but still.

Crazy Pants shows the
boys a magic cave of light.
She says, "Protect it."

Claudia's ghost tells
Milo the truth about all
of Crazy Pants lies.

Well, screw that, he says,
and leaves to join Claudia's
clan. Jacob stays back.

30 years later,
Milo is still trying to
get off the Island.

He discovered the
electromagnetic spots,
built the donkey wheel.

Crazy Pants is not
happy to learn about this.
Says, "No way, José."

She knocks him out, then
fills in the well, and slaughters
...well, ...everybody.

(This has led to the
specualtion that she might
be a smoke monster)

Then she takes Jacob
back to the magic light cave,
has him drink some wine.

This makes them "the same",
meaning he knows everything
and we still don't, right?

Milo comes to, finds
his people slaughtered, then goes
and stabs Crazy Pants.

Jacob gets pissed off,
throws Milo into the light.
Smokey emerges.

Jacob takes Milo's
corpse, along with Smoke Momster's,
puts them in the caves.

Where Jack, Kate and Locke
(remember them?) will find them
centuries later.

Lots of questions were
raised by this ep (see comments)
but remember...

Every question I
answer will simply lead to
another question.


P@ said...

So, really, for an episode of Lost that was supposed to provide answers and background, it ALSO brought a bunch of MORE questions, many of which will probably go unanswered.

Among them:

Where did Crazy Pants come from?

How did she become Island protector?

She said she made it so Jacob & Milo couldn't hurt each other - was this true? If so, how?

What is the light? How would Crazy Pants know that it is "in every man" and if it goes out there it goes out everywhere?

Why does going into the light turn you into a smoke monster?

Did the light go out when Milo went into it (or rather, when Smokey came out)?

Is Smokey's Jacob's brother? Or was Smokey actually trapped in the light all along, and having Milo enter there somehow released him?

Who built the statue? And the temple? And the lighthouse?

And most importantly, where the hell is Vincent during all this?

Don't get me wrong, still along for the Lost ride, (it's almost over, after all) but as Steph said while watching this ep: "I'm officially worried that Lost is going to be disappointing in the end."

Amy said...

I decided before this season started that I was going to attempt not to have any thoughts or feelings about what was happening until the end. So far, so okay!

Also, looks like Jacob owes Milo a Coke.


Unknown said...

"What's Dead?" Dude, Really?
Mother's Home School Major Fail
(Hint: Dead Boar - That's Dead