It may break a few international laws, some unspoken agreements, and perhaps be slightly tacky, but I'm going to post my answers to a Bunch Of Questions (boq) from the Watcher's Diary here instead. AND I'll provide a template. Not that I expect anyone to actually use it in their blogs, but, heck, it's a simple way to boost my word count.
Would you like butter on your copporn?
We sick fucks. (ha!)
Um. Nah, I think I'll pass. Butter (not to mention porn, cop related or otherwise) tends to make me ill these days.
Money is no object. Where would you travel to first? Where would you NEVER travel to no matter what?
Money (originally I wrote monkey) is no object?!?! Coooooool!! I'm guessing the first place I'm travelling to is Fort Knox, so I can laugh at them for guarding imaginary treasure.
To answer the question(s) a bit more honestly - I've always wanted to see Awwwwstralia.
As for places I'd avoid? Africa looks rather hot.
Don't you think coffee is the most wonderful substance on the planet?
It smells nice.
"Burned all my notebooks, what good are notebooks?"
Well...they make for good burning.
("Life During Wartime" by The Talking Heads)
What is wrong with you?
Physically:
My kidneys hurt.
My hair is dry.
I have a gap in between my two front teeth - not as pronounced as say, David Letterman's, but still irritating to me.
I have an overbite.
I'm getting a belly.
My back hurts.
My feet are dry.
My toenails are pointy.
I'm short (for a male).
I most likely have morning breath.
My penis curves to the left.
I kinda stink. (In my defense, I haven't showered yet. I don't think I normally have a bad odor to me.)
I thometimes lisp.
I don't talk loudly or clearly enough.
I hate my laugh, and sometimes my voice.
My posture is crap.
Mentally:
I'm stubborn.
I'm quick to anger (way too quick with regard to my girls).
I'm not as smart or as clever as I'd like to be.
I'm selfish.
I have a vocabulary of about 4.
I'm lazy.
Financially:
I'm nearly 30 years old and I make 19,500 a year. Gross. Or Net. Whichever one is after taxes.
In short, I'm a human being, and I really ought to stop thinking of the above things as being "wrong", but, being a human being means that I most likely won't.
Desert or dessert?
Yes.
I prefer dessert, myself, but that's because I have the desert all the time. Dessert is more special, because it's not a constant.
So who is Carly Simon singing about, anyway?
George W. Bush.
But, oddly enough, Warren Beatty thinks it's about him.
They (read: Van Halen) claim "there's only one way to rock!" Do you know what that one way is?
I already said I didn't!
Also, there is no one right way. [tongue]
What days are your trash/recycling/whatall collected?
Wednesdays and Saturdays. Although we don't recycle.
I don't have a sig right now. Say something significant.
That's not a question. Oooh. I think that gives me an idea for what to make my sig...
Yeah, okay, fine. But what if you're wrong?!?
Jesus, I wish more people would ask themselves that.
Is Tom Cruise out of control?
Pffft. Control is an illusion.
I think Tom Cruise might be as well...
and finally...
[In the style of a game show host]"What.... is your face? (you have ten seconds, Bob.)[/In the style of a game show host]
Fluid?
BZZZZT!!
Aww, thanks for playing! Tell him what he's won, Johnny!
Well, he's won himself a three month supply of Rice-a-roni, the San Francisco treat (ding ding!), along with an additional 2000 words added to his blog! Congratulations, fluid-face!!
[cheers and applause]
And the template, if you want to answer it yourself... (copy and paste the red text)
<b><span style="color:#cc0000;">Would you like butter on your copporn?</span></b>
<b><span style="color:#993399;">Money is no object. Where would you travel to first? Where would you NEVER travel to no matter what?</span></b>
<b><span style="color:#006600;">Don't you think coffee is the most wonderful substance on the planet?</span></b>
<b><span style="color:#000066;">"Burned all my notebooks, what good are notebooks?"</span></b>
<b><span style="color:#3366ff;">What is wrong with you?</span></b>
<b> <span style="color:#993399;">Desert or dessert?</span></b>
<span style="font-size:130%;color:#99ff99;"><b>So who is Carly Simon singing about, anyway?</b></span>
<b>They <span style="font-size:78%;">(read: Van Halen)</span> claim "there's only one way to rock!" Do you know what that one way is?</b>
<b><span style="color:#cc66cc;">What days are your trash/recycling/whatall collected?</span></b>
<b><span style="color:#9999ff;">I don't have a sig right now. Say something significant.</b></span>
<b><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ff0000;">Yeah, okay, fine. But <em>what if you're wrong?!?</em></span></b>
<b><span style="color:#ffcc66;">Is Tom Cruise out of control?</span></b>
<b>and finally...</b>
[In the style of a game show host]<b><span style="color:blue;">"What.... is your face? (you have ten seconds, Bob.)</b></span>[/In the style of a game show host]
Dear God, you have no idea how sick I am of these questions now. Oh well. Yay for random words!
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