Wow. Um. I'm not going to be the best looking 55 year old, am I?
What about you? How will you look in 20 years?
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
20 bucks, same as in town
Last night I dreamt about Last Comic Standing. (I know, right? How boring am I?)
Anyway, the sad thing is that I can't remember the majority of the joke, so I'm hoping we can reverse engineer it. I recall the set-up, and the punchline, but I need the middle section.
The set-up is that "these" are the three most important questions in the world.
I don't remember 1 & 2, but the "punchline" was that the third was "Did you hear what I said?"
...which, really, isn't all that funny, but in the dream it certainly was. And, hey, maybe if I remembered what the first two questions were, it would be (doubtful!), so, if you're feeling particularly comedic, have at it. What are the other 2 most important questions in the world?
Anyway, the sad thing is that I can't remember the majority of the joke, so I'm hoping we can reverse engineer it. I recall the set-up, and the punchline, but I need the middle section.
The set-up is that "these" are the three most important questions in the world.
I don't remember 1 & 2, but the "punchline" was that the third was "Did you hear what I said?"
...which, really, isn't all that funny, but in the dream it certainly was. And, hey, maybe if I remembered what the first two questions were, it would be (doubtful!), so, if you're feeling particularly comedic, have at it. What are the other 2 most important questions in the world?
Monday, June 21, 2010
Shave your face with some mace in the dark
I'm clean shaven again.
I'd post a photo, but oddly, all the pictures (well, it's just the one so far) of me sans beard make me look older and aren't appealing, so for the sake of my vanity, none are available yet. Give me a day or three to get used to it (and take better pictures. Ha!).
Actually, here. I'll just put the picture up so that there's something else to this post, because as it is, it's somewhat boring, isn't it?
I'd post a photo, but oddly, all the pictures (well, it's just the one so far) of me sans beard make me look older and aren't appealing, so for the sake of my vanity, none are available yet. Give me a day or three to get used to it (and take better pictures. Ha!).
Actually, here. I'll just put the picture up so that there's something else to this post, because as it is, it's somewhat boring, isn't it?
Monday, June 14, 2010
Halfway to 70
So it's Flag Day.
Last night I had a disturbing dream.
Keeping in mind that a) people's dreams are always less interesting to anyone hearing about them than the one who had them, and b) describing dreams usually takes much less time than the dream itself, here's what happened:
It was a post apocalyptic setting. The details of which were apparently not important enough for my brain to create, but I knew that a large percentage of the population had died off, fairly recently.
Survivors began to congregate, as they do in such tales.
I suggested that we go to the library to gather books on plumbing, gardening [real life intrusion!], and...I had some other topic that I thought was vital, but I forget now. But, you know, knowledge is power and all that, so that was the plan.
On the way to the libe, I picked up on some less than kind vibes coming from a young guy near the back of the group.
At one point he even told me, "You're going to die unexpectedly."
Well, that certainly increased the feeling of dread that was creeping over the dream.
Anyway. We get to the library, and we begin searching for books, splitting up to cover more ground quicker.
Naturally, I end up alone with Threat Guy, and two other people. Threat Guy (man, it would be nice if dream-people came pre-equiped with names, no?) removed a gun from his jacket, and I'm in full-on panic mode. But one of the other people in the room with us said, "Don't worry, Patrick. You don't die here."
Hearing this prophecy (I really don't know why, but that's the sense I got - what this guy said was actually preordained, and just...prophetic), anyway, hearing this prophecy instantly calmed me.
I was at complete and utter peace....and that's when Threat Guy shot me in the back of the head.
And then, at that exact instant, I woke up because Saren was screaming about a bug in her room.
It was 1am. Happy Birthday!!
The remainder of the day was surprisingly less dramatic.
At work I received Happy Birthday wishes from about 13 different people, with roughly 4 of them asking me why I didn't take the day off. Heh.
I also got free lunch (no such thing!), 4 bags of Skittles, a bag of barbecue potato chips, and a cupcake.
When I got home, I walked into the girls jumping out from various hiding places to wish me happy birthday, and homemade cards from them all. Not surprisingly, many of them were chinchilla related.
Oh, yes. I'm 35 now, so...chinchilla day, right?
Well... no.
A few days ago, Steph said (paraphrasing): "I didn't say you'd get a chinchilla when you turn thirty-five. I said 'forty-five'."
So, 10 years until I get the 'chilla. Mark the calendars - 6/14/20.
(Reminder: Get this promise in writing.)
But, now Steph is making dinner - and a cake - and later I'm going to make good on my Birthday Resolution #2 (which is to start writing, daily, again). (Resolution #1 is to exercise daily. Completed!)
So, all in all, a pretty good Flag Day.
Last night I had a disturbing dream.
Keeping in mind that a) people's dreams are always less interesting to anyone hearing about them than the one who had them, and b) describing dreams usually takes much less time than the dream itself, here's what happened:
It was a post apocalyptic setting. The details of which were apparently not important enough for my brain to create, but I knew that a large percentage of the population had died off, fairly recently.
Survivors began to congregate, as they do in such tales.
I suggested that we go to the library to gather books on plumbing, gardening [real life intrusion!], and...I had some other topic that I thought was vital, but I forget now. But, you know, knowledge is power and all that, so that was the plan.
On the way to the libe, I picked up on some less than kind vibes coming from a young guy near the back of the group.
At one point he even told me, "You're going to die unexpectedly."
Well, that certainly increased the feeling of dread that was creeping over the dream.
Anyway. We get to the library, and we begin searching for books, splitting up to cover more ground quicker.
Naturally, I end up alone with Threat Guy, and two other people. Threat Guy (man, it would be nice if dream-people came pre-equiped with names, no?) removed a gun from his jacket, and I'm in full-on panic mode. But one of the other people in the room with us said, "Don't worry, Patrick. You don't die here."
Hearing this prophecy (I really don't know why, but that's the sense I got - what this guy said was actually preordained, and just...prophetic), anyway, hearing this prophecy instantly calmed me.
I was at complete and utter peace....and that's when Threat Guy shot me in the back of the head.
And then, at that exact instant, I woke up because Saren was screaming about a bug in her room.
It was 1am. Happy Birthday!!
The remainder of the day was surprisingly less dramatic.
At work I received Happy Birthday wishes from about 13 different people, with roughly 4 of them asking me why I didn't take the day off. Heh.
I also got free lunch (no such thing!), 4 bags of Skittles, a bag of barbecue potato chips, and a cupcake.
When I got home, I walked into the girls jumping out from various hiding places to wish me happy birthday, and homemade cards from them all. Not surprisingly, many of them were chinchilla related.
Oh, yes. I'm 35 now, so...chinchilla day, right?
Well... no.
A few days ago, Steph said (paraphrasing): "I didn't say you'd get a chinchilla when you turn thirty-five. I said 'forty-five'."
So, 10 years until I get the 'chilla. Mark the calendars - 6/14/20.
(Reminder: Get this promise in writing.)
But, now Steph is making dinner - and a cake - and later I'm going to make good on my Birthday Resolution #2 (which is to start writing, daily, again). (Resolution #1 is to exercise daily. Completed!)
So, all in all, a pretty good Flag Day.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
A lesson for all those who want to run a corporation someday
While removing a bunch of employees seems like a great way to save money (and, in fact, probably is, at least in the short term), keep in mind that the workers you have stick around are going to have their workload doubled (or sometimes tripled ...or more).
And while that might work out just fine for you - after all, you aren't doing any extra work, and you're saving lots of money since you aren't increasing the workers' pay - given enough time, your slaves are going to get worn out from all that extra labor.
And when people get tired, they make mistakes.
And mistakes? They tend to cost businesses money.
Sometimes LOTS of money.
Sadly, I don't think this 'lesson' will be learned by anyone, really, because honestly, it's not like the workers have much say in the matter. I mean, what are they gonna do - starve?
So, despite the fact that working people to death is good for neither them nor, ultimately, you, the whole stupid game will keep on going until the earth tires of it all and hurls itself into the sun.
And while that might work out just fine for you - after all, you aren't doing any extra work, and you're saving lots of money since you aren't increasing the workers' pay - given enough time, your slaves are going to get worn out from all that extra labor.
And when people get tired, they make mistakes.
And mistakes? They tend to cost businesses money.
Sometimes LOTS of money.
Sadly, I don't think this 'lesson' will be learned by anyone, really, because honestly, it's not like the workers have much say in the matter. I mean, what are they gonna do - starve?
So, despite the fact that working people to death is good for neither them nor, ultimately, you, the whole stupid game will keep on going until the earth tires of it all and hurls itself into the sun.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Haiku Review: Diary of the Dead
with "social commentary".
How original!
"Diary" wasn't
bad, just heavy-handed,
and not ground-breaking.
Monday, May 31, 2010
May 2010 word count
I can't believe tomorrow is June. And also back to work. Even 3 day weekends are too short.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
That's easy. Pez. Cherry flavored Pez.
Imagine you're going to be cursed.
The curse is, that for the rest of your life, you will only hear the music of *one* band (or singer). If you could choose who the artist was, who would you choose and why?
And what band or singer would be absolute hell for you?
Yes, I realize that these questions may be too difficult to actually answer. I have thought about it for a while, and I still don't have a response myself.
The curse is, that for the rest of your life, you will only hear the music of *one* band (or singer). If you could choose who the artist was, who would you choose and why?
And what band or singer would be absolute hell for you?
Yes, I realize that these questions may be too difficult to actually answer. I have thought about it for a while, and I still don't have a response myself.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Haiku Review: Lost - The End
Well, actually, we got two
endings, didn't we?
This is what took place
in Sideways World: Each of the
characters "wakes up".
This "waking up: means
remembering their Island
life (and sometimes death).
As each character
has their epiphany, lots
of great music plays.
Most of these wake ups
happen thanks to loved ones from
their days on the Isle.
I guess in The End
the love you make is equal
to the love you wake.
I wanted to hear
"You All Everybody" at
the Drive Shaft concert.
I like to pretend
it was played during the Church
scene at the end, though.
But I'm not quite there.
Let's go to the Island and
see what happened there.
Desmond was rescued
by Rose, Bernard and Vincent.
(Yay, Vincent!! Good dog!!)
Only to be caught
by Smocke moments later. Then
Jack & co. show up.
Jack's all, "Let me take
you to the Light. The thing
I'm meant to protect."
Once there, Jack & Smocke
lower Des into the Light.
Des removes a cork.
Really. There's a stone
cork plugging up a hole. Des
pulls it out. Earthquake!!
The Island begins
to sink. Jack and Smocke battle.
Smocke is mortal now.
Smocke starts to cut Jack's
neck (I knew it!), but then Kate
shoots Smocke in the chest.
Jack kicks Smocke off a
cliff, and he falls to his death.
Well, that was simple.
But, even with Smocke
dead, the Isle is still sinking.
Must put back the cork.
Jack says he'll do it.
Hurley says it's suicide.
Kate and Sawyer leave.
They're on their way to
Hydra, where Frank and Richard
are alive and well.
Miles is with them, too,
and they're repairing the plane
with duct tape. Hee hee!
Jack needs to put the
cork back in. Since that will kill
him, he transfers the...
...title of "Island
Protector" to Hurley. First
smart thing Jack's done.
Jack gets lowered down
by Hurley and Ben. He puts
the giant cork back.
He has Hurley pull
Desmond back up. And that's it
for Des, Island-wise.
We don't see him get
reunited with Penny,
or his son, Charlie.
But, he does see them
in another life, brotha.
So...hooray for death?
And, it's implied that
Hurley, as the new Jacob,
helps Desmond get home.
Hurley asks Ben to
be the new Richard Alpert.
Aww. Hurley's so sweet.
Kate and Sawyer find
Claire, say, "Come with us." Claire says,
"No." Then says, "OK."
Kate, Claire, Frank, Richard,
Sawyer, and Miles are the new
Oceanic Six.
I guess technically
they're the Ajira Six. Point
is, they're who escape.
(Until 3 years pass
and Richard yells, "We have to
go back, Kate!!!" Ha ha)
Time to revisit
Sideways World one last time. We're
nearing the Ending(s).
The concert is done
and (You All) Everybody
is now at the Church.
Except Jack. He meets
up with Kate, who mentions how
long she has missed him.
Then she says she'll see
him at the Church for the Lost
cast wrap-up party.
Ben is outside the
Church. Hurley invites him in,
but Ben says, "No thanks."
Hurley tells Ben he
was a great number 2, and
Ben tells Hurley he...
...was a great number
one. I think they're talking 'bout
the "fan favorite" poll.
Jack enters the Church,
goes to his dad's coffin. He
opens it. ...empty!!
Christian's body is
always getting LOST, isn't
it? Oh, wait. He's here.
Standing behind his
son, Christian explains Sideways
World to Jack (and us).
All the people in
this world are dead. Some, like Boone,
from before Jack died.
Others, like Hurley,
died "much, much later". But, they're
all dead. ('cept David)
[I haven't figured
out David. Why would Jack and
Juliet make him?]
This world was a place
created by the Losties
for them to meet up...
...before they "move on".
Then (You All) Everybody
hugs and smiles and cries.
Christian opens the
Church doors, and there's a Light. (Same
Light from the Island?)
That's it for Sideways.
All Losties go to Heaven.
(Except those who don't)
But it's not The End.
Lost truly ends with Jack, now
almost at life's end.
He stumbles to the
spot he first woke up on the
Island, and lies down.
Vincent trods over
and kisses Jack's face, lies down
next to him (Good dog!!)
Jack watches as the
Ajira plane flies over.
At peace, Jack smiles, dies.
Lost concludes with a
close up of an eye shutting.
Hey! It's Matthew Fox!
So, there we have it. No more Lost. No more Lost haiku.
I was pretty disappointed with the finale, and I was going to rant at length about it here, but almost don't want to. I'm irritated that I've given it so much thought, even 5 days later. I want to "let go" of Lost myself. Maybe I do need to rant, just to be able to do so.
Lost was never a perfect program, during my rewatch of the first 4 seasons between season 5 & 6, I noticed a LOT of problems with it. But it was entertaining - wildly so in many instances, and for a very long time, I considered it my all time favorite show EVER. (Yes, even beating out Buffy and Angel. Because *those* programs have some pretty bad flaws too)
But the finale... and this final season...*sigh*
I wasn't expecting answers for everything. And it's not like I want the answers to be spoon-fed to me, but to have SO MANY THINGS just completely dropped altogether is a complete slap in the face.
Another haiku:
Please look into this thing called
Chekov's gun. Thanks, P@.
Seriously. So many things were just red herrings. Volcanos, Walt's specialness, the Egyptian hieroglyphs, the Dharma food drops, the interconnections of the Losties before they boarded the plane... I'm sure many of you have already seen this, but here's a pretty funny list of "unanswered questions" from Lost.
The David abandonment was bothersome. Jack (and Juliet) create a fictional child to help themselves get over their own issues, and then, once they realize they're dead, and the kid doesn't exist, just go, "Oh, okay. On to heaven it is, then!"
And, of course, Sawyer doesn't get to bring his daughter to heaven.
And Aaron is there...but as a baby.
And Ji Yeon isn't there at all.
I think the writers might have issues.
Some of the other things I've seen around about how the finale could've been improved have been interesting. I liked the idea of having "Christian" actually be the Smoke Monster, and Sideways World was a trap he made to lead all the Losties into the Light. The final shot would have been of 20-some-odd Smoke Monsters destroying the world.
Another thing that's irritating about the finale is that despite the creators talking about how Lost was "about the characters, not the mysteries" is...no. They didn't wrap up any of the character's arcs except Jack. We don't know what happened with Richard, Kate, Sawyer, etc. Or Hurley and Ben (although apparently there's going to be "missing footage" on the DVD set of exactly that).
Or the Island itself. The Island was a charcter too, ya know. And, in fact, I'd say it was the one that people wanted to know the most about.
By leaving all these things unanswered, they have absolutely a) pissed off a LOT of people
and b) ensured that fanfic and sequels and comics and books and movies and spinoffs are absolutely going to happen. I hope they're happy, but I highly doubt I'll invest in any of them. I want to put the Lost universe behind me. (Wish me luck. I somehow doubt the Island is done with me.)
Lost ending is I can stop
watching ABC.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Ha! I kill me!
Alf should be remade/rebooted/reimagined whatever it is they're calling it where they go back and mine a story for nostalgic reasons.
But they should totally go darker.
Other shows that should also get this treatment:
Bosom Buddies (that one doesn't have to be dark, and would probably work best as a comedy movie, ala The Brady Bunch)
Mr. Belvedere (again, big screen adaptation)
The Greatest American Hero (although I suspect that one is already on the air, and is currently going under the name of Chuck)
V. Oh. Wait. No, that one wouldn't work.
I'd like to see a Quantum Leap show that focused more on the time-travel wonkiness and how things were fixed. Like Timecop, but...not sucky like Timecop.
Or, Hollywood could come up with something original for a change. I mean, otherwise what are people going to remake 20 years from now?
But they should totally go darker.
Other shows that should also get this treatment:
Bosom Buddies (that one doesn't have to be dark, and would probably work best as a comedy movie, ala The Brady Bunch)
Mr. Belvedere (again, big screen adaptation)
The Greatest American Hero (although I suspect that one is already on the air, and is currently going under the name of Chuck)
V. Oh. Wait. No, that one wouldn't work.
I'd like to see a Quantum Leap show that focused more on the time-travel wonkiness and how things were fixed. Like Timecop, but...not sucky like Timecop.
Or, Hollywood could come up with something original for a change. I mean, otherwise what are people going to remake 20 years from now?
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Time, let me waste it
So, two things here.
1) Lost ended, and was ...polarizing, might be the most apt description. I was pretty disappointed, as was Stephanie, and a whole lot of other people on the internet were as well. But, it seems, just as many people seemed to either love it or at least, find it acceptable. And there were moments that I truly enjoyed.
But after it ended, I actually felt trepidation about writing up my haiku review. I still will, and hopefully in the few days that it takes before I get it written/posted, my thoughts will have coalesced a bit more and I can express in it what I both liked and what I did not. All in 17 syllabic chunks.
2) Over the weekend (on Saturday, actually), the station was broken into by some vandals. They stole all the computers downstairs, and dumped a whole bunch of filing cabinets with a BUNCH of papers all over the place.
(Un)fortunately, my computer is upstairs, which was completely left untouched, and so I am still able to work. It was the sales department (and receptionist) that was mostly affected by this. Of course, the repercussions will be long lasting, and I have a feeling things are going to feel...weird at work for a while.
2a) Today was my 15 year anniversary with the station.
... Fifteen years is a god damn long time.
1) Lost ended, and was ...polarizing, might be the most apt description. I was pretty disappointed, as was Stephanie, and a whole lot of other people on the internet were as well. But, it seems, just as many people seemed to either love it or at least, find it acceptable. And there were moments that I truly enjoyed.
But after it ended, I actually felt trepidation about writing up my haiku review. I still will, and hopefully in the few days that it takes before I get it written/posted, my thoughts will have coalesced a bit more and I can express in it what I both liked and what I did not. All in 17 syllabic chunks.
2) Over the weekend (on Saturday, actually), the station was broken into by some vandals. They stole all the computers downstairs, and dumped a whole bunch of filing cabinets with a BUNCH of papers all over the place.
(Un)fortunately, my computer is upstairs, which was completely left untouched, and so I am still able to work. It was the sales department (and receptionist) that was mostly affected by this. Of course, the repercussions will be long lasting, and I have a feeling things are going to feel...weird at work for a while.
2a) Today was my 15 year anniversary with the station.
... Fifteen years is a god damn long time.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
LOST Day!!
To celebrate, the following things have happened:
Silas & I both wore Locke shirts (his is orange, which isn't canon, but he looks cute in it anyway, so a lot is forgiven).
I reread several of my haiku reviews. (God, some of the stuff I've written is hilariously awesome. For example, the fact that Boone [the world's worst lifeguard] performed CPR on his sister...with his tongue. Heh.)
John Locke showed up in the Wii Play game where you have to "find 3 look alikes"! Even the Wii wants to celebrate!
It rained, and hailed, too! Wacky weather that changes on a dime is sooo like the Island's weather!
Saren, Irina, and I started to play Lost: The Game. ...only to stop at a pretty early juncture. (Consider it in honor of the millions of people who started watching Lost, then quit at some point) Now we'll never know if Claire died at her tent or not.
I had Steph take a photo of me with one dark eye and one light eye, just like in Claire's dream. (I might upload it in a little while. We'll see. For now, it's time to start the Lost-a-palooza!! The 2 hour recap, and then 2.5 hour finale. The final haiku will be posted ...sometime this week, after my mind has been reassembled, I guess.
Silas & I both wore Locke shirts (his is orange, which isn't canon, but he looks cute in it anyway, so a lot is forgiven).
I reread several of my haiku reviews. (God, some of the stuff I've written is hilariously awesome. For example, the fact that Boone [the world's worst lifeguard] performed CPR on his sister...with his tongue. Heh.)
John Locke showed up in the Wii Play game where you have to "find 3 look alikes"! Even the Wii wants to celebrate!
It rained, and hailed, too! Wacky weather that changes on a dime is sooo like the Island's weather!
Saren, Irina, and I started to play Lost: The Game. ...only to stop at a pretty early juncture. (Consider it in honor of the millions of people who started watching Lost, then quit at some point) Now we'll never know if Claire died at her tent or not.
I had Steph take a photo of me with one dark eye and one light eye, just like in Claire's dream. (I might upload it in a little while. We'll see. For now, it's time to start the Lost-a-palooza!! The 2 hour recap, and then 2.5 hour finale. The final haiku will be posted ...sometime this week, after my mind has been reassembled, I guess.
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