Haiku Review: Lost - LA X

Looks like this season

is "It's A Wonderful Life:

Island's POV"

In other words, what

if the Island wasn't there

during the Pilot?

Well, we begin to

find out. Looks like there are two

realities here.

Reality X:

In '04, flight 815

doesn't crash. Because...

...the Island is now

an octopus's garden.

It's under the sea!

The effects here were

supremely awful. I was

all, "Lost jumped the shark!"

On the flight, Jack talks

with Rose, saves Charlie's life, sees

Desmond's twin brotha.

On the Island, Jack

gets his ass kicked by James, who

also gives death threats.

Who else is on the

flight? Hurley, Kate, James, Locke, Boone (!!),

Charlie (!!) and Sayid.

Notoriously

absent: Shannon, Nikki and

Paulo, the Tailies.

We don't see Michael,

but I bet he's off looking

for Walt in first class.

Some things are the same:

Boone still sucks as a lifeguard

("Ocean crash? We'd die.")

Jin is sadly, still

a jerk.  Kate is arrested,

Hurley won lotto.

(Although Hurley says

he never has bad luck. So

that's a big difference.)

Locke's still wheelchair bound,

and Jack still wants to fix things.

Can he fix Locke's spine?

(question - did Jacob

not touch John, Jack, Kate or James?

Does Jacob "live" here?)

Oceanic lost

Jack's dad's body. They are the

worst. airline. ever.

Lots of things happen

on the Island, in the "real"

time line. Let's review:

Juliet dies a

second deaht, so James can feel

the loss once again.

Before she dies, she

hints James should "go then. There are

other worlds than these."

A recently dead

Jacob tells Hurley to get

to the Temple. Now.

At the statue, the

fake Locke becomes Smokey and

kills Ilana's men.

Fake Locke/Smokey (Smocke?)

tells Ben he wants to go home.

He's just like E.T.!

Tells Richard it's good

to see him out of his chains.

That's slashfic fuel, there.

Tells everyone else,

"I'm disappointed in you."

Jeez. Judgmental much?

The 70s group

gets to the Temple. Some more

Others are there. Like:

Secret Asian Man.

They've told us he's an Other,

won't divulge his name.

Also, Cindy, the

stewardess from 815.

And Zach and Emma.

The guitar case that

Jacob gave Hurley held a

giant wooden ankh.

Inside that was a

piece of paper. So it's a

fortune cookie, then?

Supposedly the

note says "if Sayid dies, they're

in danger. ....in bed."

The Others then hold

Sayid underwater 'til

he ceases to breathe.

Talk about sending

mixed signals. But then, Others

have always been...odd.

Hurley says Jacob

is dead. The Others spread ash,

shoot off some fireworks.

Dead Sayid wakes up.

"What happened?" he asks. Dude. That's

what we want to know!!