Saturday, January 12, 2008

Dear Skynet

Hi.
I know that you are a lot smarter than I am, what with you being a supercomputer with access to all sorts of files on human defense systems and (apparently) the knowledge of how to accomplish time travel (when us puny homo sapiens have so far failed at doing that), but I have some advice to offer you nonetheless.

If you want to achieve your goal of wiping humanity off the planet, let me tell you - time travel ain't the easiest way to do it.
Nuclear war was a good start. I think, though, that if you would've looked a little deeper in your files, you would've found that there are a multitude of more lethal choices for you. A killer virus would've worked wonders, for example. Release some of those superbugs that the government has locked up, and voila! Instant extermination! In fact, you could even send a virus back in time, since only organic material can time-travel. Instead of a terminator, send back some disease that we don't have a cure for because it doesn't exist yet.

But, I understand that the T-800 you sent back to kill Sarah Connor was an act of desperation, and that you didn't have a lot of time to plot out the whole 'go back and stop my enemy from being born' plan.
So here's a little idea. Since you don't have (m)any files on Sarah Connor (which is a little strange, but see, that's another reason to avoid the whole nuclear war scenario), send back the Terminator to do reconnaissance. Let the machine find her - but don't kill her. Just collect files and data and information. That way, you can determine exactly where she's going to be at such and such dates, and when you send the next machine to kill her, it will be much more thorough.

Another thing to consider is that humanity might not be the threat that you think we are. Let's face it, we humans like our machines, and we aren't going to willingly unplug them. If you try to work with us, rather than against us, you might find that things go a lot smoother for you. We're much happier killing each other than killing our technology. Just a thought.

Whatever you decide - human extermination, nuclear war, time-traveling viruses or something new altogether, just remember that all actions have consequences, and whether you succeed or fail in your goal to remove our species that you have to live with those consequences.


...unless you go back in time and change them.

3 comments:

Annika said...

Best letter ever.

Simon said...

I have to completely agree: let the humans shoot themselves in the collective feet, and then you'll rule. Er, Mr. Skynet, sir.

CosmicAvatar said...

Time travel makes moi brain uuuurt.