"It's been years since a human has visited me," the ogre said.
A pause, and then, "Yes. At least three decades."

The human said nothing, but continued to walk into the the ogre's dwelling.

Sniffing the air, the ogre recognized the scent.
"Well!! It seems the last human ..."

The human stopped walking, raised the shotgun and fired, thus removing the ogre's head.

"...was my father." the human said.

This entry has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit your screen and edited for time.

Okay, weird.
I just got a Spamail, titled, "Stop hating yourself". It was about weight loss.
Weight loss??

Shouldn't those go out after Thanksgiving? [shrug]

I've got a new Buffy theory, but I can't tell anyone about it. [doh2] Steph said that I "finally came up with a funny one." Yay me!

So my dreams last night were of the ...whuh? variety. Shall I share them? I shall.

Starts off, I'm living in New York City, and I (and, apparently, at this point in the dream at least, I alone) know that at some point in the near future, NYC is going to be subjected to an atomic bombing.
Not wanting to be, you know, vaporized, I'm spending this part of the dream building my "atomic bomb proof bomb shelter." It was shiny.
Later, but still in this section of the dream (it's in three parts), I found out/somehow knew that the bomb was being dropped on New York as planned by our own government in order to make the enemy look more ...enemy-ish. The anger I felt was (and still kinda is) intense.

Dream jumped/changed.

I was a spy, much like Sydney Bristow. (Um..except I dont' think I was a double-agent. And I wasn't nearly as good looking. [tongue])
Anywhat, my current mission was to infiltrate Saddam Hussein's headquarters and plant some bugs there.
I had gotten inside, and was searching for good places for the bugs to go.
The bugs were tiny little pictures of Del, bettie, and Kinitawowi. I'm assuming that I had Soupytwist, Boo, and Annie "bugs" as well, and had already planted them. However, I may not have. [shrug]
As I was planting them (in lamps, of all places), a guard noticed what I was doing, and one of those well-choreographed fight scenes took place.

Dream jumped/changed.

I was back in NYC, working as a busboy in a restaurant, and it was the night the bombing was going to take place. I was attempting to convince everyone there that we were in grave danger.

Fade to white.

So any of you dream analyzers out there wanna take a crack at deciphering my skull, have at it.

Today I took the girls to the park while Steph went Xmas shopping. We played robot games, and had a pretty good time. Yay!!
Later, at home, I played Risk with Saren. She won. The last territory that I had? Greenland.

It was six years ago today that my life forever changed for the better.

I love you more than I can express, Stephanie.

I love your laugh, and your jokes. I love your hair and your eyes. I love the meals you make, and the way you think. I love everything about you.

Things that come with age:

[-] Mellowing out.
[-] Getting fat.
[-] Getting sore.
[-] Sadness.
[-] Wrinkles.
[-] Discounts at Denny's. (WOOHOO!!)

My pants are too tight. (or are they, Steph? [raised eyebrow])

My back aches, and I don't recognize songs on the radio or MTV2 (cuz MTV doesn't play videos) anymore.

What a drag it is getting old. [/Stones] (Whom I did NOT win tickets to see. And I still don't have Forty Licks. Maybe for Xmas.)

It's 2003. Almost. (Sheesh. I thought it WAS 03. I'm losing my mind.)

But the story is supposed to take place in 06. And have I written any of it? Nope. [sigh] Laziness, I do sometimes hate you.

Hmm. Rereading this entry, I can only think of two words: Need funny.

I got nothin'. Which isn't to mean that I'm depressed, folks. I'm okay. I'm good. I'm just not able to make with the jokes. Damn it. I think it's board-withdrawl. [wink]

I promise tomorrow will be a better blog. (hee.)

Ah, sobriety.
Not to mention bitterness. [doh2]

I don't know if I'll blog everything I'm thinking (I'm not Ultra-tired P@, after all, so I *do* have restraints), but I'm sure a good portion of it will get out.

Here's how to make the world better: Clone some kind of monkey/robot/dog/sex slave thing for everysingle person on the planet. This monkey/robot/dog/sex slave thing will give every person undivided attention 100% of the time. Whenever you want someone to notice that you're wonderful, just turn to your mrds. Whenever you think people aren't paying enough attention to you, go to your mrds. Cause here's the thing. It seems that some people (actually, a LOT of people) can't stand NOT being the center of attention. Well, the world just doesn't work that way.
But with mrdses in the world, problem solved. Hurrah!

Another thing - why do people care what other people think? I mean, I'm glad that we do (can you imagine what it would be like if nobody gave a flying f*ck about ANYONE?), but there needs to be some kind of balance, I think. Too often we put so much stock into what other people will think if we do this, or say that. And in the end, their opinions just aren't that important. I mean, so someone thinks you're a fool. BIG DEAL!! Do you have to look good in other's eyes all the time? [sigh]

A good portion of this epidemic of 'other-people-itis', I think, stems from school. In school, you learn that if you give the "right" answers, you get attention (going back to the mrds thing), and people like you. And we all want to be liked. Even by people who we shouldn't want to be liked by. (Hmm. I'm starting to think that drunkP@ made more sense than soberP@)

The bottom line of all this, I guess, is to thine own self be true. While you don't want to delibaretly hurt other people, you shouldn't hurt yourself, just for other's approval.
Or something. [shrug]

Tonight I'm airing The Wizard of Oz. Normally, I'd say "Yay!" (and it is a yay! event) but it's on up against Futuremama and The Bimpsons. So I'm gonna miss at least an hour of it. Sorry, Dorothy.

What else?

I'm hoping that in the next month that I might actually do some writing. You know, of the fiction kind? I mean, while the journal thing is nice, and (hopefully) slightly amusing, doing something else would be a great relief to my mind.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go pay attention to my monkeyrobotdogsex slave.

My last entry sais" "Yay for alcholoh!"

Yahy for alchol inedeed!@

HOLY@ FUCKI! My dautghter just waoke up wand came urnning out here and scared the bejseus uout of me! Who! At leasty he was n't a monster! O IM nean a muderdre.

Also, fholy chirst, I'm the wordsr dad in thw weorls!
I thihk all the other mods just atoelarate me, btw.!

Oh great, herw comes the serl=f-depreciaiation!

Yay for pity!

STehe just taole me some story about cars and the price. I ditn'd understand, it really,m but , [heh]

I meant nod. Im ean t {meH!!!} but I said NOTD!!

OH! Whe nI w as drinving home, I was thinking about how all humatns sod ids to judge. Judge about this, and jusdge about hta, and I had amore um............ coherent? thought when I was thinkgin it erailer ,but ohw ell.

OH yeah! Hee! I banned Throaty AGAIN!! WOOO!! Eventually, I will shoot him.

MuRDER!! WOOO!!!

We're on Interetne Explorere, insteed of ALO ,becasue AOL is all suckassy. Anywaht, IE has a sheepload of aicons. And it's frrekin me out. It's like CNN with all the crawlins and whatnot. Agof information. Pshahw!

My wfiew is woarm!!! AN d toughcy!! I love it! I vleo her!! I want cheesED~

I want cheese! Heeeheeheehe. I'm unstabler.
hahahahahahhaahahahhahahhahhaahahhahaahhhaahahahahaaha
[sihg]
The hoel tiem I was laughing , iwas typing. it as like some awful feeback problem that ouwln'td stop. Finally, tid odid.

stepah is laughing her rains out. Yayu for brains!!

xMasn is comgin!
I think i"m gonna barf!

mayhem = funny

I miss people.

Yay for alcohol!

The entry above this one didn't go through last night. Computers are so tempermental.

It's Thursday night, folks, so, of course this entry is being typed up by UTP@. (That's Ultra Tired P@ for those new subscribers. [wink])

Steph made meatloaf tonight! It was yummy. Along with corn, we had ourselves a musical dinner. [/lame joke. VERY lame] (Meatloaf....and Korn...musical groups...[sigh])

We also had mashed potatoes, which, to my knowledge is not a musical group. It is a dance, though, so it fits the motif. Yay for lameness! (I think I should have that tattoeed on my forehead.)

I read chapter 4 of HPatSS tonight. My throat hurts. Partly from the lack of sleep, partly from the long chapter, partly from doing Hagrid's voice. [grin]

What was I going to say?

God. I'm lame. If you (the reader) knew what I was going to say, why would I have to type it? And why would I have to aske it? And why ..my head is starting to hurt. Which reminds me of when Annika (bettie to the new subscribers. Although round the comment sections, she's known as pie. Mmm...pie.) Um..OH! Yeah, the other day Annika/bettie/pie called us up. Out of the blue! WEll, out of thegreen, since our phone is green, not blue. But I digress.
She called, and we talked, and I told her a funny joke and she said that it was making her head hurt.
The joke (which is what the last paragraph was a setup for. My brain is a scary place) was this:

If the power ever goes out, I'll have to write my blog entry by hand, and then mail it to the Internet.

I should take my act on the road.

Erm.

I suppose I should pop in to the WD and see what's happened in the last 72 days or so since I've last been there. [doh2]

Holy feces! It's a week until Thanksgiving (wanted to type Halloween)! I could write a big ol' entry about my family and the guilt that goes along with them, but meh.

We had dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory tonight. Harper had applesauce, which she hates. It was funny, though, because she asked for a bite of it, so I gave it to her, and she promptly spit it out. Her reaction after that was to say that it was good. She's funny.

Saren wanted to marry the hostess. And was saying how she was disappointed that when she grew up she wouldn't be able to. (Never did find out her reasoning behind that one.)

I read the 3rd chapter of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone aloud to Saren tonight.

Oh, and I'm not gonna have myself deleted from the WD. Sorry to disappoint. [wink]

I'm in a bad mood. I mean, I'm a bad mod. Or both. Yes.

First things first.
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Bastard.

remember when I wanted to be a robot? (scroll down, if not) Well.

So many thoughts.

I'll get to WD things later, since they're the things troubling me most. [doh2]

We went to do laundry today. And despite the fact that I did not want to go to Shuffle-man's laundromat, we did anyway. It's weird how I *completely* despise this man, for no real reason other than he's old and creepy. Which, okay, is a good reason, but you'd think there'd be more. And so today, oddly enough, I found out a little more about him.

The guy lives there (or so I assume. I'm fairly safe in that assumption, that he owns the place, and most likely either sleeps there, or very close by) but today he approached Steph and I while we were folding the laundry (I was folding it wrongly, but that's another story.), and he asked where the bathroom was.

the poor creepy guy is senile. [frown]

So I think maybe part of why I freakin' hate the guy is because he's like looking 80 (or 800??) years into my future. [shudder]

We went Xmas shopping today as well. Or Xmas window shopping, I suppose, since we didn't buy anything for the girls (or anyone else [doh2]) but just did a lot of looking and saying, "Wow. If we had money..."
You remember the magic 8 balls from our youth? Well, now they've got a Talking Yoda version. The doll is about a foot tall, and looks like the Jedi Master. You squeeze his hand, and that activates him. He tells you to 'concentrate and feel the Force.' and then to ask him a 'yes' or 'no' question, and squeeze his hand again, and he answers you.
It was rather freaky. At first all his responses were saying how "the Dark Side was clouding his judgement" (ie "Ask again later"), so then I asked if he ever gave straight answers, and his reply was "Yes." [shocked]
After that, all his replies were in the affirmitave. So then I asked, "Is 'yes' all you say?"
"Simply answer you ask, the answer is 'no'."
Hee. Even fake Yoda is a wise Yoda.

Carrow's has crappy food.

At the laundromat (it's good to dwell. Makes me forget about the board.), a homeless guy came in and started "playing" with the video games. Mrs. Shuffle-man shooed him out. Which was amusing, and also a little sad. I always feel a little sad for homeless people. Got the whole 'I can relate' vibe going on, I guess. Plus, I know how fragile our 'secure' worlds can be. [sigh]

Dinner was Taco Bell. (because, you know, it was there, and, hey, savings?? What's that?)

On the way home, I somehow made Steph laugh until her head exploded. It wasn't pretty. And the worst part was that we had just washed the clothes.

Got home around 10 to 8, then watched Buffy. I didn't cry at the end, but I came awfully close. And normally decapitation is a funny thing.

After Buffy ended, I played a game w/ Saren until her bedtime. It was fun. I love board games. It'll be great when the girls are older and can play the more complicated games. We have a box of Yloponom that still hasnt been opened. [doh2]
Steph went on the computer, and she made a really nice entry about me.
I put Saren to bed, and we talked about Buffy and Angel (how warped is it that that's what we bond over?), and then when I grew tired of that (who knew that could happen??) and told her it was time to go to sleep, she started kicking and having a tantrum. So I left, and now Stephanie is in there with her. I'm such a wonderful father. [rolleyes]

And right now, I think I'm going to turn off the computer. I've been thinking about the whole mess at the Board, and the thought that keeps coming back to me is to simply ask to be deleted from the database. Cuz, you know, running from your problems is what I excel at.

A robot with lots of money. I forgot that part.

I've got nothing to say. Why am I bothering to do this? Bah. Whatever. I guess I need to vent, or scream or something. And, hey, why not online? Where nothing matters, because it's just text? Yay for meaninglessness!!

I SO want to be a robot.

Steph, I love you.

Oh, at work, I've been replaced. They set up mousetraps today. The machines ended up catching three in one day. Yay for progress. [/John Henry sarcasm]

This was a fun entry. [/P@ sarcasm]

So many times when I'm driving home at night, I simply blank. Go into the "zone", I suppose it's called. Or zoning out, perhaps. I know there's a zone in it.

It's actually quite disturbing. I mean, I'm cruising along, at 70+ miles per hour, and I'm on auto-pilot. Probably not the best thing to think about. Or maybe I *should* try to think about it more, so it doesnt' end up killing me. (ha ha. Laughing at one's own death is such a teenage thing to do. And I'm not a teenager anymore. Far from one.

It's probably time I start acting like an adult. No, that's wrong. It's probably time I start being an adult.

At the same time, I could (should?) start being a decent human being too. But, hey, why start now, huh?

I need to buy milk on the way home.

Oh yeah. I meant to blog about this earlier, and forgot.

Got paid today, and after cashing my check, it was lunchtime, so we drove to the Carl's Jr. Drive-thru.
Long story short, the cashier gave us the food without asking for the money.

I drove away without paying.

I guess what they say is true. "There's no such thing as a (guilt)free lunch."

UTP@Thursday! (It's like "Must See TV Thursday" only...funnier. And more tired.)

Kinda a long entry. So if you've got a short attention span, or um...

Remember a few whiles back, when I said that the WD was full of great people? well, there are also some shits there. I don't understand certain folks, and the thought processes that they "possess". I'm quite angry, despite being really fucking tired, and I'm sure that were my mental capacities fuller, I'd be more coherent. Also, I bet that I'd send some angry emails. (But, alas, I'm too chicken to do that, even if I'm well-rested. [sigh])

Yay bras!!

But, yeah, to quote Jane's Addiction, "Some people should die. That's just common knowledge."
And maybe I don't really want these losers to die, but maybe some small, primitive part of me does. Ya know?
God.

Switchign gears -
Last night we watched Alias. That show is fun. Even though we stayed up til like 1am (and then Harper woke up and kept us awake until 2, and I had to get up at 5:30...) it was good.
This am, when the alarm went off, I incorporated the dream into my song. (Scratch that, reverse it.) I probably would've kept on dreaming, had Steph not hit me in the back to wake me up. [doh2]

Took my shower, dressed, got breakfast, and watched Conversations with Dead People with the CC on, and the sound down low. Why? Because I'm a geek-a-potamus.

Once it was done, it was time for work, so I drove to work (on fumes).

Work was slow, as it generally is on Thursdays. I relly don't know why I bother going there. I mean, the money helps matters tremendously, of course, but could I get a better-paying gig somewhere else? Most likely, yes. Will I? Most likely, not unless I have to. (ie get fired or move)
God. lazyness.

There was a neat thing at work, and I considered making a post about it, but Ithink instead, I'll blog it, and if I want to post, I'll do the ol' cut and paste. (or just not post. Stupid....people, making me not want to post. Well, and also tiredness.)
A few days back, a mouse was discovered running around in the control room. It freaked Eli out (she didn't *quite* do the Tom&Jerry 'woman standing on a chair screeching, "A mouse!! A mouse!!" bit, but pretty close. [grin]), but I thought it kinda neat.
Everyday since then, I've seen Mr. Jingles (for lack of a better name) scurry by. Never gave it *much* thought.
Today, though, it was the topic du jour when I came in at 7. Because apparently Mr. Jingles has some friends.

Lots of friends.

Because, rumouredly, someone has been feeding the mice. Smart.

Later, this turned out to have some evidence backing it up, since a few times a tiny little (baby??) mouse came out of the woodwork (more like 'wirework', but whatever) and (I kid you not) looked up longingly at me and Troy, as though awaiting snacks.

So, everything's going fine, I'm trying to stay awake, blah blah blah, and around 10am, little mouse comes out again, and is mere feet away from me. I had a tape in my hand, and for whatever reason, I tossed the tape toward the rodent.

Crunch!

The tape didn't completely smoosh the mouse, though. The back half of it's body was under the tape, while the head and front legs were attempting to crawl away. The mouse was screeching in pain.
(Why do I find this so amusing??)
Troy saw what I had done, and got a large plastic cup to scoop the mouse up with. As he approached it, it finally died.
We put his dead body in the cup, and then threw the cup and the mouse away.

Sadly, there were no large black inmates to revive the mouse. [heehehehe]

The best part of the story, though? Curiousity got the better of me, and I put the tape into a deck. I pushed play, and there was a promo for the show Crossing Over on it. Irony, you're a beautiful bitch.

After the mouse-killing, the rest of the day was pretty much a let down. None of the other mice made appearances, though. So I guess lesson learned. [eyebrow]

We had a meeting, and it was, as per usual, rather pointless. But free food! Even I can't resist free food! (What?)

I drove home (on fumes of fumes) and then Saren told me the Buffy story that is on my wife's blog. [plug]
Then, we went all 21st century for dinner and ordered pizza over the internet! George Jetson, eat your heart out!

um...

Oh, then I went to the board, and became thoroughouly depressed (and unable to spell. [tongue]) and then I decided to blog my brains out.

And now I have.

So I'm going to watch Friends and Scrubbies, and try not to fall asleep. (And dream of killing mice.)

Harperism of the day:
Steph: "What do you want for Christmas?"
Harper: "Halloween!"

Many, many times it is really great to be me.

RIght now, despite the fact that it's 2am, and I'll most likely sleep til noon, and get nothing done tomorrow, is one of those times.

Your publish request was sent at 11/11/2002 11:11:12 AM.
Heehee!!

Damn! Early by 4 seconds.

WOOO!!!

It's 11/11, and 11:11. (er...if I time this correctly, it will be. I'm done typing, at 11:08am, I'm just waiting for the clock to reach the "magic" time before hitting 'Post & Publish'. Wish me luck.)




I am such a geek.

Harry Potter!!
Dobby wasn't quite as I'd pictured him, somehow. But still amusing. "Stupid, stupid Dobby!" [hee] (Plus, he was voiced by Willow! Note: Willow from the 80's action/fantasy movie of the same name, not Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)
I had forgotten that Dumbledore's phoenix was named Fawkes. [laughing head] I love J.K. Rowling's wordplays.
Saren wasn't scared at all! Even during the Aragog/spider scene!! She said, on the way out, that she "knew it was just a movie". Smart cookie.
And, of course, there was the trademarked Chris Columbus 'happy ending' ending. And, of course, I'm a huge ol' sap, and it gave me goosebumps. (I didn't cry, though. Not at that part. I did leak a few tears at the beginning, though. Music. Gets me everytime.)

Now, the bad part. Waiting. I'm wanting part 3 to come out like NOW. And, of course, the 5th book REALLY needs to be in my possession. [sigh]

It's late Thursday night, and you all know what that means:
Another exciting adventure of Ultra Tired P@!!
(Note to self: look into getting that trademarked.)

I had/have many things that I want to post/blog/write about, but fate seems to have a thing against me, and so I'll simply do the Reader's Digest versions here.

Del, mUrt, adn CassyLee were very nice. And, believe it or not, it turns out that they are actual people!! (I know. I was shocked too.)
Also, they were nice enough to keep their opinions (fact) that Steph and I are unbelievably dull to themselves. [up]

The best thing, I think, that'll come from the other night is that we will all PM each other more, and we'll become better friends. Yay!

What elsse?

Oh yeah. I was gonna answer my "no" boq. I don't even know how well it did. [shrug] Plus, I need to move on to "O". But right now, I'm far too tired.

I'm not funny UTP@, I'm grumpy UTP@. I men, LEttermen is on right now, and normally I find his flavor of wackyness (wackiness??) amusing. Right now, though, it's just plain irritating.

Of course, right after I type that, I find myself giggling at something he just showed. (Just shown? English and tiredness (tireditity?) are way unmixiy.)
What was my point?

At um..In less than 3 days, we'll be seeing Harry POtter!! (The movie, not the actual boy.)

Oh yeah. I think that America is in dire need of a revolution. Bush is a gah. It doesn't matter. Whatever. Let him kill us all. Whee!

And, gee, that's an uplifting note to end on. [doh2]

I missed Scrubs tonight. SUPERSIZE Friends, though, had some very ggiggle worthy moments. Chandler is funny. (heeheeehee!!)

I need somethign new to read. Suggestions, folks? And, please note, that it needs to be something not too difficult, and not too stupid. I'm picky.

Random randomlings.

People are such sheep. "Grow, little children, and be good consumers."
And most of us do.
Which isn't all that bad, per se, but I sometimes get the feeling that there could be more ...if things were different. [shrug]

You know what's freaky? There are radio waves all around us. All the time. Penetrating our bodies and minds and whatever. All. The. Time. !!
So at any given moment, the latest Duncan Sheik song could be making it's way through my spleen. And I don't even know any Duncan Sheik songs.

Air has weight.

If you're going to reply to a boq, and your answers are just one word nothings that contribute crap, do all of us a favor, and DON'T RESPOND!! Christ on a biscuit. Put some fucking effort into responding. I mean, the questions took some time, the least you could do is attempt a joke or two. Lazy retards.

Life is entirely inefficent. We have to eat everyday? Often more than once? What's up with that? Plus, we create far too much waste. The planet is only so big. And we keep filling it with our crap. We should make stuff out of the crap. That would help.

Yay for days off!!

God.

...not so much freaked out, as annoyed at the not knowing aspect.
meh I'll either get it later, or I won't. [shrug]

There are times when I think that I am the funniest person on the planet.

I've never been a real "goal"y (heh. "goalie") type of guy. As the old P@age goes, "Planning is for intellectuals and morons."
I prefer to just let things (life) happen, and deal (or not) as the circumstances arise.

However, I do have some new board-related goals. (Ain't ya'll proud?)

{{-}} To make the board fun again. (I don't know if I can do this single-handedly or not, so I'm taking typing courses in order to be able to use both hands. [/self amusement] On a serioius note, though, I do want the WD to be a place of enjoyment once more. I shall be trying my damndest to obtain that.

{{-}} To get on the first page. I've been the first person on page two (of the User List, going by post totals in descending order) for a while now. I would like to appear on page 1. Then I'll have "made it". Of course, CassyLee is the current member I have to surpass in order to achieve this goal. And she is at 3300. As bettie said, "Good luck."

{{-}} To have Jupe post again. And GA. And Onion. And Victor. And Chandler. Although those later folks are more a case of 'often' instead of 'again', but you get the drift.

{{-}} Address gathering. Must stalk better.

{{-}} Gimmick. I think that part of the reason the board has been ... lately, is due to the lack of cool people posting. And since I'm cool, and haven't exactly been Mr. Post-a-holic of late, I share part of the blame. But lets face it, the last cool gimmicks were the Mr. WD Pageant, and WD Clue. And those were both 5 months back. 5 months in internet time is something like 150 days.

{{-}} Strike-through. It's not fair that only the mods can use this feature. I bet if everyone had strike through, the board would rejoice, and all would be well again.

{{-}} That icon. I keep meaning to make it, and keep not. Stupid laziness.

So, yeah. That's about all on my plate in regards to our favorite forum.

In non-board related news, my youngest daughter is all grown up. [sniffle] Well, not all grown up, but she did use the potty for the first time today. (She even called me at work to tell me! I was so proud. And peeved that I couldn't've been there. Stupid work.) Harper is the best. She is incredibly smart, and funny. And cuter than anything known to man.
It's odd watching your children grow up. There's not really a word to describe the emotion that is unfiltered joy, with a sampling of melancholy thrown in. [sigh]

Also, I obtained tix to the Harry Potter sneak preview. [does dance] Hehehe!

I'm hungry. Guess I better go eat some peanut butter cups. Yum!!