Upfront, briefly

This year's CW Upfront actually took place on Thursday of last week. However, since I was at home with Silas at the time, I didn't get a chance to watch it until today. Since it was a really short presentation, and since I've blogged about each upfront for the past three years, I figured I'd blog my thoughts on this one.
(And, yeah, this is sort of a procrastination tactic for my story. But I swear, The Greater Good should be posted tomorrow.)

Like I said, this Upfront was brief. Which is good. They should all be this short. But I guess since the CW is eliminating an entire night's worth of programming next fall [they're dropping Sundays from the schedule, giving the time back to the affiliates {yay! More work for me!}], it doesn't take as long to talk about their lineups.

So. Anyway, out walked some CW bigshot, whose name and position I've forgotten, who spoke for maybe a minute, and introduced some character from Gossip Girl (I deduced. I don't watch the show.). His name was Chuck Bass, and I guess his character is a greedy womanizer. He's supposed to be a CEO of some industry, so he's like a millionaire playboy or something. Somehow I doubt he's dressing up in batsuits and doing vigilante justice. But if that is happening, I might have to start watching Gossip Girl.
Anyway, Chuck Bass does a shpiel about how in these tough economic times, even networks can fail, (but enough about NBC - Ha!) but the CW won't because they're going after the demographic of young women. His speech was slightly amusing, and I'm sure I'd've appreciated it more if I watched the show, but whatever. He introduces Dawn Ostroff (CW's President of Entertainment), who comes out and does a little more of the "CW is awesome" shtick that is to be expected at these things. And then, after about three minutes, she gets right to the new shows. Yay!

First up was Melrose Place. Yup. The Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off from the 1990s is now the 90210 spin-off of the aughts. It looked like more of the same - pretty, rich people having not-real-life problems. And sex. So I think I'll pass. The future girlfriend of Derek Reese (Jessie, I think her character's name was?) from Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles is in this show, though, so that was neat in a "hey! I know that actress!" sort of way.

Next up was Vampire Diaries, which, I guess, are based on some books. Basic premise: Vampire who used to live in Generic Town X moved away, then comes back for Mysterious Reasons. Oh, and he doesn't kill people anymore. Or so he claims.
Anyway, Mysterious Vampire attends high school (insert world's biggest fucking sigh here) and falls in love with World's Most Beautiful Girl whose parents died in a car crash a few years back. Um. So, it's Lana Lang?? Ugh. Shoot me.
I was all set to write it off, but then there was a twist. Mysterious Vamp has a vampire brother! And vamp bro is totally evil!! As in, he still likes killing people! And when he finds out that Mysterious Vamp is in love with World's Most Beautiful Girl, he's all, "ORLY?" and decides he might just fall in love with her. Or, you know, kill her. Sibling rivalry and vampire fighting ensues.
But the best part? Evil Vamp Bro is totally Boone from season one of Lost!! Yay!
It looks like it might suck (and it probably well) BUT!! Boone!! So, maybe. (but probably not)

Third up was The Beautiful Life, a scripted show that is about the fashion industry. So, rich, pretty people having not-real-life problems. And sex. Yawn!

The midseason show, Parental Discretion Advised looked semi-good, actually. A teenage girl who was given up for adoption finds her birth parents in Portland, Oregon (dad is a slacker type who lives above a bar he owns, mom is a famous DJ - they hooked up in high school and then went separate ways). She wants to get emanicipated, but a judge forces the parents to watch over her? It sounds kinda cheesy when I write it out like that, but it might not be half bad. I'd be willing to give it a shot, anyway.

So, having shown clips of the new shows, Dawn went to the schedule. New shows are bold:

Mon
8p - Gossip Girl
9p - One Tree Hill (again?? Won't this show just die already?)
Tue
8p - 90210
9p - Melrose Place
Wed
8p - America's Next Top Model
9p - The Beautiful Life
Thur
8p - The Vampire Diaries
9p - Supernatural
Fri
8p - Smallville
9p - America's Next Top Model repeat

Smallville on Fridays? Huh.
And Vamp Diaries on Thursday at 8 means we won't be watching due to Survivor. Oh well. Since I'm not a young woman, I'm not really the CW's target audience anyway.