Saturday, May 30, 2009

Another Version of the Truth

Previously: The Beginning of the End; The Good Soldier; Me, I'm Not; My Violent Heart; God Given; The Greater Good

US Military to Purchase Si Birden Systems, as AI Race Heats Up

Simon Birden, Founder and President of Si Birden Systems, a computer company specializing in Artificial Intelligence research, announced today that his company would be funded by the U.S. Military...

(page 23 of Business Weekly, July 3rd, 1991)

In Africa, Dead Rise, Feed on Human Flesh!!

Reports of dead people rising from graves to feast on human flesh of the living have been reported by numerous people in remote sections of Africa over the past two months. Authorities are dismissing the reports as pranks...

(Weekly World News, March 14th, 2002)


SKINet Capable of Growing Artificial Skin, Hair, Blood
..."The benefits in helping burn victims are enormous," said SKINet's CEO, Dyson Miles, "and there have been many interested parties in helping us develop the technology further. Including the U.S. Military..."

(ScienceNews Monthly, September 2007)


Louisiana Woman Attacks Family, Flees

Lisa Mooney, a 22 year old woman in Shreveport, Louisiana, viciously attacked her husband and three year old child yesterday afternoon. The attack was stopped when her neighbors, alerted by the husband's screams, fired upon Mooney, wounding her. Her husband and child are in intensive care at Shreveport Medical. Mooney is still on the run, and wanted for questioning by authorities. The reason for the attack is still unknown.

(Shreveport Times, June 2009)


Is Your Neighbor a Robot?

(Weekly World News Headline, January 2010)


CDC Says Super Rabies Could Reach Epidemic Status by August

(New York Times Headline, July 15th, 2011)


Fourth Twilight Movie Postponed as Original Stars Fall Victim to Super Rabies

(Entertainment Weekly headline, August 19th, 2011)


[8:52pm] Skyenet: OMFG!
[8:52pm] traxler: what is it, Skye?
[8:52pm] Skyenet: my dad just got attacked by some guy with SR
[8:52pm] traxler: shit!!
[8:52pm] traxler: 'sokay?
[8:53pm] Skyenet: yeah, think so. brb
[8:53pm] traxler: k
[9:06pm] Skyenet: hey, Trey? u there?
[9:06pm] traxler: yeah, Skye. hows ur dad?
[9:07pm] Skyenet: good. no bites. just scared, bruised up a bit.
[9:07pm] traxler: glad he's okay. my cousin's gf got bit last week.
[9:07pm] Skyenet: O_O
[9:07pm] traxler: yeah. she turned, tried to kill my 'cuz, but the fam threw her out.
[9:08pm] traxler: haven't seen her since.
[9:08pm] Skyenet: I hate this.
[9:08pm] traxler: I hear ya.

(IM transcript, August 30th, 2011)



President Palin announced today that all those infected with Super Rabies virus pose a serious health risk to the public, and should voluntarily turn themselves over to authorities. In addition, all infected individuals are hereby considered extremely dangerous, and the National Guard has the power to shoot to kill...

(Washington Post, September 11th, 2011)


Gun Ownership Triples in States
CDC Estimates 1 in 100,000 May Be Infected

(headlines from the week of September 20th, 2011)


"Super Rabies=vampires"
"Was SR created by gov't?"
"What is Project Mimicry?"
"SR next stage in human evolution? Discuss."
"Super Rabies Vaccines a hoax?"

(Top 5 topics from forums, November, 2011)


Operator: "911, what's the nature of your emergency?"
Wisher (groggily): "I need some cops... to find my stol... my stolen car."
Operator: "You're car was..."
Wisher: "And... I may need an amb.. an ambulance."
Operator: "Are you injured, sir?"
Wisher: "Yeah. My head. Fuck, that fucker."
Operator: "Were you assaulted by an infected, sir?"
Wisher: "What? No. This was some... asshole stole my car and hit me with a wrench."

(911 transcript, March 2012)


Palin Introduces Decoy Robots to Terminate Infected

(headline from March, 2012)


"How Safe Are Robots? A News 4 Investigation, tonight at 11!"

(April, 2012)


Vamp Attacks Down 71% in Cities With Decoy Bots

(headline from May, 2012)


Bot Fires at Civilian!! Authorities Questioned

(headline from June, 2012)


Bot Demand Still High, despite Monterrey Fluke

(headline from June, 2012)


Skyenet: Our neighborhood bot arrived today. He's kinda cute!

(from Skyenet's twitter feed, July 7th, 2012)


1st Completely Automated Bot Construction Factory Opens: No Humans Involved At All

(headline from August 3rd, 2012)


Are We God?
A Look at Bot/Human Relations from a Theological Viewpoint

(cover of Newsweek, August 15th, 2012)


Automated Bots Faster, Stronger, Say Happy Customers

(headline from August 20th, 2012)


posted to worldwide web:
Skyenet: @Mim-cha: Um. Who?
Mim-cha: We'll be back.

(from Mim-cha's/Skyenet's twitter feed, October 20th, 2012)


World Wonders Who Was Responsible for Mim-cha Hack

Bloggers, chatters, and just about everyone who uses a computer experienced a 'hack' from an unknown party yesterday. The odd post interrupted online transactions world wide, and read the same everywhere. At 4:31am, EST, the words "WE ARE MIM-CHA" appeared on any sort of computer screen connected to the World Wide Web.
Several people responded to this prompt, but Mim-cha, whoever that may be, sat silent for approximately three minutes, and then signed off with the equally cryptic comment, "We'll be back."
The CIA is investigating, but thus far, no body has taken official credit for the hack.

(headline from October 21st, 2012)


AI Gone Rogue? Reports of Bots Calling Themselves Mim-cha

(headline from October 22nd, 2012)


Mim-cha Attack!!
Mim-cha bots kill entire office in Atlanta, Georgia
Town of Colorado Springs Devastated after Mim-cha Rampage
300 dead in London Subway Mim-cha Massacre
Bots Turn on Humans, Hundreds Killed In Sydney

(headlines from various papers on October 31st, 2012)


Skyenet: The Mim-cha can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity or remorse or fear. They're worse than the vamps. At least they used to be human.

(from Skyenet's twitter feed, November 4th, 2012)


Palin not seen in months, chaos reigns in streets

(from CNN ticker, December 5th, 2012)


Skyenet: Oh god. CNN reports that nukes have been fired.
Skyenet: This is it, folks. Judgment Day. Make peace with your loved ones, everyone.
Skyenet: I'm scared. There was an explosion, and a flash. Oh fu--
...signal lost...

(from Skyenet's twitter feed, December 21st, 2012)

Next: Zero-Sum


Amy said...


Anonymous said...

Awesome. My only quibble:

>>Palin Introduces Decoy Robots to Terminate Infected

(headline from March, 2012)<<

Um, what if the vampires can read?


P@ said...

Hrm. Good point, Kirk. Although just because they would know that there are robots out there, doesn't mean they'd be able to recognize them. I mean, after the first few "tasty human turns out to be a killer robot" events, I think the vampires would realize what was up.

Amy said...

Plus, the press legitimately does stuff like that all the time.