Of keyboard kidney stones and other issues

Hodge-podge entry.

So I haven't blogged the next installment of my story yet, despite the fact that I should have posted the next 2 sections by now (and the final one, if I had stuck to my schedule, would have been up on Thursday). I have, however, been writing it out on paper, but here's the thing: Writing this story (or any story, really) is like passing a freaking kidney stone. The ideas are more or less there, in my head, oftentimes playing out like I'm watching a movie, but getting them to transfer from there to screen (or page) is damn difficult. And it's highly frustrating.

I've told myself about a billion times with this tale that it's just a first draft (and it is) but that hasn't exactly helped. I don't know what it is, exactly, that makes it so hard for me to write, but I wish I could get past it. I mean, it's not fear of it sucking, because as I said, I KNOW the errors that are present in the form that it's taken so far, and I'm (more or less) okay with them. It's not not knowing where it's going, because, oddly, I have this one pretty much mapped out. [Which is unusual for me. Generally when story ideas come to me, it's the beginning and some plot points along the way of things that would be good to have happen, and absolutely no idea how it'll end. Not so in this instance. I've known from the get-go how this was going to start, a few of the middle bits, and the end. So. Why. Won't. It. Flow?? Arrgh!]

Anyway. The point for now is that even though I haven't finished writing out The Greater Good (which is the title of the next section), and I haven't even begun typing it up - I will. I made a promise to myself (and the readers of this blog) that I would finish the entire thing by the end of this month, and I plan on keeping that promise. The last 3 sections: The Greater Good, Another Version of the Truth, and Zero-Sum will all be typed up and posted by midnight of 5/31/09, even if I need to travel back in time to make it happen. (ha!)

Other things: Last night I had my first work-related dream since I've been on 'paternity leave' this week. It was rather dull, as most work dreams are. And it was simply nerves about going back after having been gone for so long. In the dream, my work space had been cleaned up and all my papers were misfiled and I couldn't remember how to, you know, do my job. Rolleyes. Silly brains. Of course, I really am NOT looking forward to going back tomorrow, but what am I gonna do - starve?

We've got a bit of an empty nest here now. The older girls have gone off with their grandmother to have a camping trip for 3 days. This will be the longest that the girls have ever been away from us (they've done sleepovers at grandma's before, but three days is a new record). It's ...quiet here. I don't know how Steph (and Irina!) will handle things tomorrow when I am gone, too.

I really need a haircut. I haven't had one this year.

Yesterday I went out to get gas for the van, and some dinner as well, and ended up getting hit by a guy on his bike. He was okay, as was his bicycle - although his handlebars were bent a bit - but for a few minutes afterward I was shaky as hell. It seems like each time I go to get food lately, something unusual happens. I'm getting ready to go out now with Irina to grab a Slurpee and some junk food. We'll have to see what goes down this time.