Saturday, May 19, 2007

Upfront Lowdown

Yeah, it happened two days ago, and no doubt there are a hundred other places you could read about the CW Fall 07 Schedule, but ...um.

So. Let's get to it, shall we? Or should I say "Get Into It"? (a ha ha ha)

Last year's CW Upfront was in some ways better than this one, and in some ways worse. The performances were ...just as bad. This year instead of Black Eyed Peas, they had the Pussycat Dolls. Who pose the eternal question - don't you wish that your girlfriend was hot, like them?
Well - don't you?
DON'T YOU!!?!?!!

And they performed twice! The song at the end was not their one hit wonder, though. It was a new song entitled "Get Into It", because that will be the CW's new tagline. And new theme song.
The orignal theme song was "Get Ready", and the the tagline was "Free to Be [blank]" We were informed that the "Free to be" campaign would continue for several years, at least - and so we ordered a lot of material for the station with that tagline all over it - hell, our sign outside the station says: "The CW Las Vegas: Free to be you". So, having them drop that was ...mildly irritating.
I guess they are "Free to" change their minds.

So, Pussycat Dolls perform, and Dawn Ostroff comes out, and, after some lame joke about how Dawn wanted to be the next Pussycat Doll - along with photoshopped image of Dawn's face on a Pussycat Doll's body to make the "joke" complete - she got into the schedule.

They started with Wednesday night, so that's what I'll do here, too. New shows will be bolded, and discussed in detail.

Wednesday
8pm - America's Next Top Model
9pm - Gossip Girl

So, yeah, ANTM is back. Again. And, apparently, is the new flagship program for the CW. It had some of the highest ratings in key demographics of women 18 - 34. Sad.
Gossip Girl is a new drama from the creator of The OC. Gossip Girl is set in Manhattan, among rich snobby teens, who act like they are in their 30s, and have no parents, and spend more money in an hour than I make in a month. Plus, they use their cell phones and blackberries and internets to , like, OMG! totally talk about how Serena is sleeping with Zack and Kelly totally hurt Screech's feelings!!!
Ugh.
This is what they're leading the upfront with??
Well, I suppose since I'm nearing the end of the CW's key demographic age, it would make sense that the shows they are running would become less appealing to me.
Anyway, the show looked boring-o-rama to me, but maybe I just don't have my fingers on the pulse of today's youth. [shrug]

Thursday
8p - Smallville
9p - Supernatural

They know a good thing when they see it - or they know not to piss off the cult-show fans by moving things around. Either way, Smallville coming back makes me happy. This will undoubtedly be the show's final season, so I'll definitely be watching. Or, at least watching the finale. ;)

Friday
8p - Friday Night Smackdown!

Okay, then.

Saturday
Still nada on Saturday night.

Sunday
7p - CW Now
730p - Online Nation
8p - Life is Wild
9p - America's Next Top Model (encore of Wednesday night's episode)

Wow. Lotsa new stuff here!
CW Now is totally just an "Extra" or an "Access Hollywood" or "The Insider". In other words, an entertainment-based news magazine show. In other other words, canceled after three weeks.
Online Nation can be summed up in 4 words: "Youtube: The TV Show". This is where the 4 hosts (why? I mean, couldn't one person do the intros?) showcase the latest and greatest "online user-based content". So, if you want to see funny online viral videos, but ...um, don't want to watch them online - then Online Nation is the show for you.
That being said, despite my snarkiness, Online Nation did have some pretty funny clips. So, too, does America's Funniest Home Videos, and that's been on for like, 170 years, so, who knows. This could work.
ON will also rely heavily upon people loading videos to the site and chatting about what they liked, and whatever else the "digital generation" finds attractive and fun. (I sometimes really hate the whole 'interactive aspect' of EVERY SINGLE tv show on nowadays, but I guess that's just the way things are going. And with a show like this, it makes sense.)

Life Is Wild - Everwood, take 2, pretty much. Dad is a veterinarian. He has two children - a CW-pretty daughter, and a pre-teen...um, son, I think.
He is widowed, and remarries a woman with a CW-pretty son, who gets into trouble with the law.
Family life is going eh, so dad decides that the best cure is for the family to up and move to South Africa to stay with his father for a year.
The show is filmed on location in South Africa, so it totally has great scenic shots. The acting, dialouge, and story lines... well, hard to tell if it'll be closer to 7th Heaven or Everwood. I doubt I'll watch regardless, but that's just me.

And the 9 o'clock hour on Sunday is just thrown away with "America's Next Top Repeat". But, I guess it's 'worked' for them this past year, so, you know, whatever.

Monday
8p - Everybody Hates Chris
830p - Aliens in America
9p - Girlfriends
930p - The Game

I'm surprised to say it, but Aliens in America looked pretty funny.
Premise: Quirky family in the midwest: CW-pretty older daughter, and CW-dorky-pretty teenage son, along with dad & mom (and alpacas. Dad raises them for money. See? Quirky.) Son - named Justin - is starting high school, and is having rough time of it.
Mom decides to get him an "instant friend" by agreeing to take in a foreign exchange student.
Except, through one of those 'only happens in a sitcom' misunderstandings - the student is a Pakistani Muslim named Raja.
Fish out of water culture misunderstandings and coming of age hi-jinks ensue.

My description makes it sound much worse than it looked, I'm sure. But trust me, there definitely was funny involved. I'll give it a few shots, especially if there is nothing else on on Mondays at 830.

Tuesday

8p - Beauty and the Geek
9p - Reaper

Surprisingly, B&tG is coming back first thing, rather than midseason. But, hey, whatever works for them. I've watched a few episodes of Beauty and the Geek, and enjoyed them moderately. If they can maintain the following that they've had, more power to 'em, I suppose.

But the big winner of the upfront had to be Reaper. It was why they saved it for last, I'm sure. End on a positive note.
Reaper's premise: 21 years ago, the main character's parents "accidentally" sold his soul to the devil.
Now, on his birthday, the devil (played awesomely by Ray Wise) has come to collect.
What the devil is having him do, is collect the souls of demons that have escaped from hell.
It looks extremely campy, very offbeat, and, from the clips that I saw, very very funny.
I'm sure it won't last. (If, for no other reason, then that dude that was in Dead Last and Invasion is in it as the main character's best friend. He's very funny, but he kills every show he's in.)

Midseason

Midseason shows that were mentioned, but not focused on too much:
One Tree Hill
Interestingly (and I never thought I'd use that word in the same sentence as "One Tree Hill") when the show returns in the spring of '08, they will have jumped forward 4 years, so that the actors will be playing their real ages.(heh) Also, so they can skip "the college years".
They plan on having online-only content that will be in the form of video diaries showing highlights of what happened to the characters during those 'missing years'. Huh.

The other 3 midseasoners are all reality shows:

The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll
Um. Yeah. I don't get how they're able to have a second (or first, really) season of this, but, there ya go.

Crowned
11 mother/daughter teams will compete in beauty pageants in what looks like a very bitter, catty, vicious, small-minded reality show.

and finally,

Farmer Wants a Wife
Green Acres, the Reality Show.
[sigh]

So, a few new glimmers of hope in a sea of WTF. Sounds about par for the course, actually.
I suppose the highlight of the whole thing is that they didn't revive 7th Heaven again.

2 comments:

matty said...

No Veronica, no me. And the Pussycat Dolls? NOT HOT. Well, unless you're into post op trannies. They're smokin' for post op trannies.

BTW- this does not reflect upon you in any way, but I HATE commenting on your blog. Blooger (typo, but HILARIOUS) never remembers my password, and then I type it in three times it finally logs me in, but then I have to do the word verify again, and then log in again, and the word again...

Honestly, tranny jokes aren't worth it.

Amy said...

CW-pretty

Awww. I remember when it used to be "WB-pretty"!

Seriously, though, what are Pussycat Dolls?