"Ohhhllllldderryouu?" Zombielyn mentioned.
Ape10 brightened up. "You know, Zombielyn, that's a pretty good idea. Maybe I will do ..."
Just then, the Time Blender appeared in the park. Before anyone could react to the appearance of a second time travelling appliance, the machine opened, and a chimpanzee walked out of it. "Hello, Ape10. I'm Ape10."
The two apes stared at each other.
The chimpanzee who had emerged from the Time Blender said, "Uncanny, isn't it?"
Spark scanned the newcomer and said aloud, "As unlikely as it sounds, it appears that this person is indeed..." he turned to Ape10, "...you."
The visitor, upon seeing Spark, gave the robot a friendly embrace. "SPARK!! I'm so glad to see you! Stay right here. I've got something for you!" The primate scrambled back into the Time Blender and returned with a box wrapped in wrapping paper. "You can consider me Mr. Christmas Yet To Come." he said, smiling at his joke. He then unwrapped the box, revealing a package of Hot Pockets, among other things. He handed the microwaveable meals to Spark and said, "I know they're your favorite."
Spark smiled and said, "Thank you....Ape10 ....to be."
Zombielyn warned Spark, "Eeennnjoy. Faaaaahhht."
At that, Ape10-2b said, "Zombielyn! Oh, dear! You look just as I remember you! So dead and full of life!" He reached into the box and dug around, pulling out a carton marked "Fresh Pork Brains." He handed them to the undead woman and said, "For you."
Zombielyn smiled, and took the tasty treat. "Yuuuuuhhm!"
Ape10-2b then asked, "Where's Steggy?" Upon receiving a few blank stares, he realized his error and said, "Oh. Right. You guys haven't met her yet."
"Hmm." He said, more to himself than aloud, "I wonder how far back I've gone." Then, to his younger-self, Spark, and Zombielyn, he asked, "Have you encountered the Diaper Sniper?"
"No." Spark said.
" The Bagel Boy Band?"
"Nuh-uh." said Ape10.
"The gutalielidnaeiarians?"
"Noooooh." Zombielyn said.
Ape10-2b scowled. "Wow. I came back further than I thought. What episode am I in? Um. You've at least encounted Belinda the witch, right? Or Bluebush? Tell me I'm not pre-episode one."
The trio confirmed that, yes, they had met and dealt with the evil that was Belinda. "And Bluebush is still out there," Ape10 said, "but we'll bring him to justice eventually."
He paused.
"Right?"
Ape10-2b smiled and said, "That's what I'm here to tell you about. Your future! Or, really, OUR future."
He instructed Ape10 and the others to sit down, then grabbed a television and DVD player, along with some DVDs, out of the Time Blender.
"What I have here," the visitor from the future said, waving the DVDs, "is what you will do in the next twenty years."
Ape10 looked skeptical. "I'm going to make movies?"
Ape10-2b said, "Well, no. But there will be movies made about you. Ben Stiller does a pretty good job, too. I don't know if it's Oscar worthy, but still."
"Ben Stiller looks nothing like me." Ape10 pouted.
Ape10-2b shrugged, and set up the entertainment center. "Are you ready for a glimpse into the future?" he asked.
"Wait!" Spark interrupted. "Before you do this, we must consider the consequences of the actions we are about to partake. Having Ape10 know what his future is will undoubtedly alter what decisions he would normally have made, and that will cause unknowable ripples through the space-time continuum. Billions of lives will be changed drastically based on the choices that Ape10 makes. Having insight into what is "supposed" to take place will taint the future, perhaps in ways that we should not change. Fate is not something to be messed with, and the flow of natural chronology should remain intact and pure. There also is the possiblity of creating a paradox that would destroy the universe as we know it. The chance of a time-disparity ripping the threads of reality apart is, by my calculations, 65.31%.
In short, I don't know if we should watch those DVDs."
The two Ape10s looked at Spark and replied in unison, "Meh."
Spark shrugged and sat down to enjoy the show.
Ape10-2b placed the first DVD into the player. "This is a copy of VH1's documentary on you, VH1's Behind the Monkey. It was made ...it will be made after your initial rise to fame. Well, you'll see."
The ape pushed play, and the documentary began....
Ape10. Arguably the world's most famous primate, the shape-shifting monkey wasn't always world-known. From his humble beginnings in the little town of Azwood to his rise as international superstar, to his eventual downfall and his comeback, this is Behind the Monkey!
Ape10 paused the video. "What did he mean, 'eventual downfall'?"
Ape10-2b looked uncomfortable and said, "Oh. You know how these things are. Let's just watch the show and I'll explain more at the end."
The video resumed:
NARRATOR:
Not much is known of Ape10's origins. The only mammal with the capability to physically alter his DNA at will has been quite reclusive in speaking about his past. Even his best-selling autobiography, "Monkey Musings", did not delve into the details of his birth and childhood. Many conspiracy theories have been put forward. Some believe that Ape10 is alien in nature, and that he is the first of an intergalactic invasion.
"Pfft! Alien invasion!?!" Ape10 said in disbelief. "I'm not planning on invading anyone."
Others believe that Ape10 is an agent of the United States Government.
"Please! I wouldn't work for any government!"
Or an advanced being from the distant future of Earth.
Ape10-2b sort of nodded his head and said, "Well, they've got me there."
Most people, of course, pay these theories no heed, and are content with simply enjoying all that Ape10 does to entertain.
(shot of crowd screaming for Ape10)
NARRATOR:
Of course, Ape10 was not always in the entertainment business. He began by fighting crime. Primarily in the city of Azwood. The first time he was noticed by the public was at the Azwood West Mall, where he and fellow crime fighter Zombielyn Monroe fought off a horde of rogue minotaurs.
(cut to a woman, about 40ish, onscreen graphic IDs her as "Sarah Faraday, Azwood citizen")
SARAH:
I was at the Azwood Mall that day. I used to work there. I saw Ape10 yelling at some poor boy, and I felt sorry for him - the boy, not Ape10 - but then that kid made these half-bull things come out of nowhere and surround him. And that zombie woman. Those minotaurs were pretty awful, so I left in a hurry. I thought they were goners for sure.
NARRATOR:
But Zombielyn and Ape10 were not goners. Using ingenuity, muscle, and some old fashioned luck, the monkey and the undead starlet, along with their robotic pal, Spark, fought many such battles. Not only in Azwood, but all over the world, and all throughout history. This was due to the Time Blender, an appliance that allows those inside of it to visit moments in the past. Such a powerful tool has provided Ape10 with many moments of distress. In his own words:
(shot of Ape10, onscreen graphic IDing him as "Ape10")
APE10:
The Time Blender, of course, could be quite dangerous in the wrong hands. But Spark is the only one that knows how to operate it correctly. He provided me lessons before we split up, of course, but I'm nowhere near as good a pilot as he was.
Spark and Ape10 looked at Ape10-2b in shock. "Split up?" Spark asked. "Why...?"
But Ape10-2b was not in the mood to answer questions. He pretended to not hear the question and instead remained focused on the program.
Ape10's existence became known worldwide when a reporter for the Azwood Times wrote an award winning article on the monkey.
REPORTER:
This boy was the one that tipped me off. He told me that there was a talking monkey living in the park, along with a robot and a dead woman. At first I thought he was pulling my leg, but there was something about that kid...
Anyway, once I saw Ape10 for myself, I knew that his story would be big.
NARRATOR:
And, indeed, it was big. In the months that followed, Ape10 found himself in the center of public attention.
APE10:
It was difficult to fight any crime. Or even go anywhere without being harrased. Zombielyn told me that fame was a hassle, and she was right. Eventually, I couldn't take living in Azwood anymore - too many people knew where I lived, bothered me all the time. I felt like I was in a zoo, for crying out loud. So I did a very stupid thing. I got an agent, and, on her suggestion, moved out to Hollywood. Rahter than fighting for my normal life back - something the old Ape10 would've done - I surrendered to the monster that was stealing my friends away from me. If I could go back and do it differently, I would. Sure, I got to meet several celebrities, but...I sometimes miss the Good Old Days with Zombielyn and Spark.
NARRATOR:
Ape10's move to TinselTown put a strain on the relationship between him and his former colleagues.
SPARK:
I told him that becoming big isn't all it's cracked up to be. You'd think he'd've listened to me. Nope. Sometimes that ape can be a real ass.
Zombielyn and I stayed behind in Azwood, at least until that ordinance from The Man came down, making Azwood an Anti-Zombie Zone. Poor Zombielyn got run out of town by an angry mob. Not that there's any other kind. I've run across my fair share of mobs, and finding a happy mob is a true rarity. But, yeah, the townsfolk got it into their heads that zombies were evil, and
The video was paused.
"Fuuuuuuhhhhttturreyuuuchk."
"I would never leave my friends! And you're telling me that The Boy becomes The Man ...and he is in a position of power?? Who in their right mind would let The Man tell them what to do?? And why aren't I stopping it?! Future-me sucks!" Ape10 was quite irate.
Spark had an idea. "Wait right here!"
The robot found a bucket of paint and said, "Watch the screen. If this works, we should be okay."
Spark then painted his head green. The Spark on the DVD suddenly had a green head too!
"YES!" Spark exclaimed.
Upon the somewhat puzzled looks he recieved, Spark explained. "See? My future-head turned green when I painted my now-head green. Now watch." The robot used a washcloth and cleaned the fresh paint off of his metallic head.
The image on the paused DVD also changed from green, back to the usual silver.
Ape10 was excited. "This means that the future is still maleable! We don't have to split up! We don't have to let The Man take over!"
Ape10-2b smiled sadly. "That's why I wanted to come back. To insure you didn't make the mistakes I did. Of course, by changing your future, you also alter my present, but I knew that going in. I don't mind being a martyr. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one."
The two Ape10s hugged. "The future is in your hands," Ape10-2b said tearfully, "don't screw it up."
After his goodbyes to Spark and Zombielyn, Ape10-2b said, "All right. I'm ready. You know what you have to do."
Ape10 nodded slightly and said, "...Or, maybe, Zombielyn, I won't..."
Instantly, all traces of Ape10-2b disappeared.
[Being spoiler for -Dead Woman's Party highlight to view]A surprise party for Zombielyn results in angst when some unexpected family members drop by.[end spoiler]
No comments:
Post a Comment