Heh.
Okay. I apologize upfront about the length of the post. Everything else, I have no apologies for.
A little back story, first.
Apparently on either the 6th or 7th of March, the Sinclair owned station WZTV in Nashville ran an afternoon movie that was unedited for air. The movie was Quiet Days in Hollywood. I've not seen the movie (yet - we supposedly have an unedited copy of it ourselves at our station - our programming department decided to not air it), but from what I've heard, the movie contains a lot of swearing (fuck is reportedly said a couple dozen times in a five minute span), full frontal nudity of males and females, homesexual intercourse, and a rape scene. Quality Family Programming!
Anywhat, the movie aired, and the master control operator running it called the program director and said, "Hey, this movie is bad." And the program director said, "Ah, just run it anyway."
So, they did.
Monday the 8th, there were 8000 (eight thousand!!) emails and calls to the FCC. This means that 8000 people do not know what a remote control is.
The program director for that station no longer works for Sinclair.
On the 9th, we got the following memo from one of the Higher Ups at Sinclair Broadcasting. I'm going to type it verbatim, and then I'll break it down with commentary. Any typos or grammatical errors are from the memo itself. The names and numbers will be edited out to protect ...other people.
TO: All Master Control Operators
FROM: David O.
DATE: March 9, 2004
RE: Material Inapporpriate for Broadcast
It is absolutely essential that we take every step to prevent obscene material from appearing on our airwaves.
The Programming Department is responsible to prescreen all programming and edit offensive material. All objectionable content should be eliminated before it reaches Master Control.
It is also the responsiblity of the Master Control Operator to monitor the on-air signal. In the unlikely event that something obscene slips through the safety net, it is the responsibility of the Master Control Operator on duty to initiate immediate corrective action.
The following five words are never appropriate for broadcast: Shit, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, and Motherfucker. We also do not allow scenes that include shots of frontal nudity; female waist up or waist down, male waist down.
If you are on duty when prohibited content appears inside any pre-recorded non-network programming or IMMEDIATELY ABORT FROM THE PROGRAM.
Place a full screen still store graphic on the air while you locate a standby program to use as time filler. Place the standby program on the air until you receive additional direction from a station manager.
While the standby program is on the air call Tina M in the Programming Department. Her cell phone number is (702)806 -XXXX.
If she is unavailabe, contact Tommie G at (702)806-XXXX.
If he us unavailabe,contact Rob W at (702)610-XXXX or Sonia M at (702)610-XXXX.
Taking no action is considered negligence and is subject to disciplinary action.
[sigh]
It is absolutely essential that we take every step to prevent obscene material from appearing on our airwaves. Oh? And why is that? So that the FCC doesn't slap a half-a-million-dollar fine on your ass? Well, here's a step that hasn't been taken - change what is considered "obscene". Shocking, I know! Simply because the word "fuck" has been deemed "vulgar" doesn't make it so. It. Is. A. WORD. Just like mockingbird, or watermelon, or tekirana. And nudity? Don't get me started. Perhaps if we weren't so bloody uptight over things that are natural, we'd be healthier, happier human beings. Just a thought.
Besides, I find Crossing Over with John Edwards more offensive than any of the "swear" words. Maybe I'll start having an hour of dead air from 4 to 5 each day, stating that the programming was "obscene".
The Programming Department is responsible to prescreen all programming and edit offensive material. Funny thing - on Friday I was talking to Tina (the same one mentioned in the memo) and she said that this memo had not been given to her. Doh! She also said that we were supposed to get a set of guidelines on what is obscene from corporate, not simply from David O. ...
It is also the responsibility of the Master Control Operator to monitor the on-air signal.
Duh. That's my job, dumbass. I've been doing it for almost nine years. Thanks, though, for the condescending remark! Makes me feel wonderful!
Now we get to the meat & potatoes of the memo -
The following five words are never appropriate for broadcast:
Wait - Never? Not ever? I think, perhaps, if September 11th were to take place again, that it might be appropraite to use "Shit" or "Fuck", or any number of words, actually. And what if someone's name is legally "Motherfucker"? It would be so god-damn awesome for some celebrity to change their name to that. Hell, if any politician started running under the name "God damn motherfucker", I honestly think I'd vote for them. Even if it were George Bush.
Shit, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, and Motherfucker.
First- he capitalized them!!! How great is that?
Second - heeeeeeeee!!! This is an official Fucking Memo!! Heeeeeeeee!
Third - Does this mean that "cock" is allowed? And apparently there is no problem with "asshole" or "pussy"? Bastard, bitch, nigger, faggot? Those are all appropriate? Or sometimes appropriate, perhaps?
Lastly - Cunt? Cunt!?! What movies do you ever hear that in? I mean, hell, cunt was not even "legal" on the WD until just recently. But I think that we should go extreme with it. (Heh. "Extreme Cunt!" Heee! I'd watch that show.) But I think any thing that resembles Cunt should be not allowed. The word Country, for example. We have a show called "A Country Affair" that I've been wanting to get off the air for a while now. This gives me the opportunity. It's obscene.
If you are on duty when prohibited content appears inside any pre-recorded non-network programming or IMMEDIATELY ABORT FROM THE PROGRAM.
First, there's the typo. The "or" is in the wrong spot.
Second - so if we're in a network program or airing something live, and it has "prohibited" content, that's okay?
Third - dude, don't bring abortion into this debate.
Place a full screen store graphic on the air...
Yeah, um, except we don't have a full screen graphic. Perhaps if you spent some time in our control room, you might know that. Urgh.
However, I'm thinking that we should create one. A graphic that reads: "Experiencing Technical Fucking Difficulties. Please stand by, Motherfucker!"
Taking no action is considered negligence and is subject to disciplinary action.
Yeah. Fuck off.
Whew. I was going to make/continue a tirade about censorship, but I'm not up to it right now. Maybe later.
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