I guess I should post today.

I've got nothing to say, really, but it's the 29th of Feb, which only comes around blah, blah, blah.

Anywhat, the Oscars are on, and Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King has won everything it's been nominated for. Is it really that good?

Huh. Today, while being an extra day in the year, wound up being pretty much wasted. Go Team Lazy!

Oh, and there were not doughnuts.

Hmmm.

There's a meeting with the General Manager of the stations tomorrow. 7:30am.

My expectations are low, but my interest is piqued.

See, about a week back the department got together and submitted a letter to the GM asking about raises. We're finally going to address this.

Mostly, I'm hoping that there's doughnuts.

I get mine at Wal-Mart

Which explains a lot, actually.

You need knowledge to recognize that you have knowledge....so where does it come from originally?

In the same vein, how does one know that one is "enlightened"?

Folks who claim to know all the answers...they're lying, aren't they?

Life imitating art imitating life

Back in the early 90s Stephen King released a collection of novellas titled Four Past Midnight. One of the stories is titled Secret Window, Secret Garden, and it's about a writer who is confronted by someone who claims that he plagiarized one of his stories and got famous off it.

Now, there's an upcoming movie starring Johnny Depp, called Secret Window, and it appears to be about a writer who is confronted by someone who claims he plagiarized one of his stories...

The weird thing is, Stephen King's name is nowhere on the commercials for the film. In fact, it says that the movie is "from the writer of Panic Room."

So...um...did this person plagiarize Stephen King's story or what?

Here's a truck stop, instead of St. Peter's

From the "Man, there really is something wrong with me" file - The top story on AOL is about how George Bush's dog died today. My reaction was laughter.

Laughter was also my initial reaction to finding out that Laura Bush killed someone in a car accident years ago. (On a side note- why is this not a wider known story?? I heard about it from someone at work, and thought she was joking...)

It seems that laughing is something I do whenever the Bushes and death are connected...

Today at work, we had some story about the Las Vegas section of craigslist.org. Of course, being our news, we got it as wrong as we possibly could. First, we were calling it Craigslist.com, rather than .org, and second, we put up a graphic that had it cited (hee! pun!) as "lasvegas.craiglist.com" - note the lack of "s".

Well, to prove my point, I fired up the ol' Internet Explorer at work, and went to lasvegas.craiglist.com.

Guess what! It's porn!

And not just porn, but it's the type of site that when you close the window, about 45 other porn windows open up. Wheee! For the record, I let the director know about the error, and the 10 o'clock news cast had the correct site address in the graphic.

What else? Um. My hair is big. You all should worship me.

OH! I'm working on a future post! In fact, I've begun it, and have the date set. (May 24th, 2004. 3pm.) It's gonna be Big. Wonderfully Big, one might say. Or, Wonderfully Boring, maybe.

And, speaking of upcoming posts, the next Ape10 episode started to actually form itself in my mind today. Thankfully.

It's nice to have tomorrow and the next day off, but I wish the weather were more ...something. I've had enough of winter for now, thank you.

Lastly, Donkey Kong on the gameboy is frustrating as hell. Why can't the princess rescue her own damn self for a change? [mad]

Our hearts pump dust and our hairs all gray

I think my problem is that I'm socially retarded.

La de da de da, la de da de da

Stolen from the Jupe....

I present to you the titles I've used that are lyrics from songs - explained!

From here on out, though, you're on your own. It'll be fun! When you think a title is a song lyric, when you leave a comment just state the song (and artist, if you're showing off).

Away we go...

Tuesday, July 15, 2003
"Sweet Dreams are made of these"
from "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)" by Annie Lennox of the Eurhytmics. Also Mariyln Manson.
Geez. I start with the obvious ones, didn't I?

Friday, August 15, 2003
"They say it's your birthday!"
from "Birthday" by the Beatles

Sunday, August 17, 2003
"The smile on a dog."
from "What I Am" by Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians

Wednesday, August 20, 2003
"...and the chaos that surrounds me like a flock of screaming pigs..."
from "Change" by Boingo

Sunday, August 31, 2003 was the blog-a-thon date, and all of my titles were the names of the songs from the CD Look Into The Eyeball. (We should have another blog-a-thon soon....)

Sunday, September 21, 2003
"One down. Three point six to go."
from "One Down" by Ben Folds

Thursday, October 02, 2003
"There is water at the bottom of the ocean."
from "Once in a Lifetime" by Talking Heads

Friday, October 10, 2003
"Sweet Dreams are made of these."
Again??

Saturday, October 11, 2003
"Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping ...into the future."
from "Fly Like an Eagle" by Steve Miller (or Seal)

Sunday, October 19, 2003
"It was 20 years ago today..."
from "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" by The Beatles

Saturday, October 25, 2003
"I'm havin' trouble tryin' to sleep."
from "Brain Stew/Jaded" by Green Day

Friday, October 31, 2003
"Every single one of us, the devil inside."
from "Devil Inside" by INXS

Friday, October 31, 2003
"Let me out! Let, let me out!"
from Cherub Rock by the Smashing Pumpkins

Monday, November 3, 2003
"JFK blown away, what else do I have to say?"
from "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel

Friday, November 14, 2003
"Life goes by so fast. You only want to do what you think is right. Close your eyes and then it's past."
from "Story of my Life" by Social Distortion

Monday, November 17, 2003
"I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me."
from "I Don't Like the Drugs (But the Drugs Like Me)" by Marilyn Manson

Sunday, November 30, 2003
"And the wolves all howl while the world around me dies"
from "Pedestrian Wolves" by Boingo

Wednesday, December 03, 2003
"Hobbit motherfuckers!"
from "Hobbit Motherfuckers" by Er...huh. I don't know.

Thursday, December 04, 2003
"Na na na na-na-na-naaa!"
from "Hey Jupe" by the Beatles

Friday, December 05, 2003
"Always look at the bright side of life."
from "Bright Side of Life" (I'm assuming) from the movie Life of Brian

Friday, December 12, 2003
"Champagne supernova"
from "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis

Friday, December 19, 2003
"This is my United States of Whatever"
from "United States of Whatever" by Liam Lynch (Sifl and Olly)

Sunday, December 21, 2003
"I don't know where the sunbeams end and the starlight begins."
from "Fight Test" by the Flaming Lips

Monday, December 22, 2003
"What would we do, baby, without us?"
from the theme song to the television show Family Ties

Thursday, December 25, 2003
"Holy Shit, It's Christmas!"
from "Holy Shit, It's Christmas" by Red Peters

Wednesday, December 31, 2003
"Just Another Day"
from "Just Another Day" by Oingo Boingo

Friday, January 16, 2004
"That which you fear the most could meet you half way."
from "Crazy Mary by Pearl Jam

Monday, January 26, 2004
"I'm gonna getchya-getchya-getchya-getchya."
from "One Way or Another" by Blondie

Wednesday, February 04, 2004
"I quit my job today, oh boy."
from "A Day in the Life" by The Beatles

Saturday, February 07, 2004
"And if I can't have everything, then just give me a taste."
from "Sin by Nine Inch Nails

Saturday, February 14, 2004
"When the whipperwhil whistles in the wind..."
from an episode of Animaniacs. I don't know if it's a real song or not.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004
"La de da de da, la de da de da"
from "What's the name of that song?" sung by the Sesame Street cast

Man, there were a lot more than I thought.

Tune in next time, when I might have an actual entry!

When the whipperwhil whistles in the wind...

It was 10 years ago today that my parents bought me my brand new Geo Metro. (And we all know how that turned out.)

I can't believe that a decade has gone by since then. Wow. Ten years.

In related ...ish news, we had dinner with my parents last night at Joe's Crab Shack. Those of you who are up on your P@ trivia know full well that I am allergic to shellfish. Luckily, I stayed away from the lobster, clams, and shrimp, and dined purely on Fish & Chips. I mean, I love the taste of shrimp, but for whatever reason, I prefer to remain able to breathe. I know. I'm weird.

Dinner was rather noneventuous, except for the fact that my parents were an hour and a half late. [insert jaw dropping/eyes popping out sound effects]
An hour and a half!

Oh, and the dancing. That was enjoyable, if slightly embarrasing. But, still. Fun.

The check came to a mighty 223 dollars. Yikes. Well, might as well let my parents leave here with something memorable. [doh2]

The other day, I helped my stepmom move. And by saying "helped", I mean that I drove over to the house and watched the movers pack things and kept my mom company for a few hours.
I'm amazed - simply amazed - at how much stuff my parents have. Dear god, they're packrats. And my mom was telling me how she had thrown away like entire garbage cans full of stuff beforehand. And they still had enough material goods to build a small city. [sigh]

It was a little saddening to see the house one last time. Plus, the fact that GLEPUB1 is no longer an active phone number. It was my parent's (and my own, for a time) phone number for years. At least 12. And now, it's disconnected. Sniff.

I thought that I had something else to blog about, and maybe I do, but for now this'll have to do it. It's time for the Fucking News.

UTP@ Returns!

My thoughts are mostly oatmealish right now. The word "FUCK!" seems to be ...something, like it is in oatmeal so often. FUCK. Heeee.e hee!

ude, there's some kind of giant lizard on teh TV. Iguana. That's the word. I am teh Iguana King! I can do anything!

ANd now that guy is looking at lizard piss. Fucking hell, that's kind of funny. Also - did you know that you caould say "Dick" on TV? Becuase they did on Angel last night. Oh. That was as poiler. Um. Ignoree that, if you didn't know.

I have stuff to say, but I'm so not ...whatever that word is...to do it firight now. But it was about how my parents are moving, and about someon at work, (which I am now at), and about something elese but motehrer fuck, I'm tired.

Heeeee.
Lizards.

Ape10 episode 3: How the West Was 011101110110111101101110

Spark walked into the park, looking for Ape10 and Zombielyn. He had exciting news to show them.
Ape10 was there, looking somewhat sad.

Seeing the look on his friend's face, Spark asked, "What's wrong?"

Ape10 sighed and said, "Our enemies seem to be one step ahead of us. Sure, we managed to defeat one of Bluebush's dinowarriors, but there are still two more out there. And now, this child who stole the shadow off a groundhog...It's as though the whole world is against us."

"Well, this ought to cheer you up. Read this article." Spark handed the primate the newspaper. Looking at it, Ape10 grinned. "This is fantastic! Let's get in the Time Blender, and capture him while we still can!"

"I felt the same way." Spark agreed. "Where's Zombielyn?"

Ape10 uttered, "Doh! I forgot, she's out shopping at the Azwood West Mall. She should be..."
Just then, Ape10's cell phone rang. Looking at the display, Ape10 saw that it was Zombielyn calling. "That's convienent," he said, then answered the phone.
"Ape10 here, talk to me."
The ape listened, then said into the phone - "All right, Zombielyn, I'll be there in a few minutes." He hung up, then addressed Spark. "I've got to go to the Azwood West Mall. Zombielyn is there, along with our other nemesis. And apparently, he wants to speak with me."
Spark asked, "What about Bluebush?"
" I still think mixing sci-fi and westerns is a crazy idea, but go ahead and apprehend him, if you can. Maybe we'll capture both of our enemies at once!" Ape10 concluded happily.

*****
Spark entered the newspaper building, and asked to see the reporter who had written the article about Bluebush. He was directed toward the back, among all the printing equipment.
A young man was working on the equipment, obviously preparing the next day's news. Spark tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Excuse me."

The man turned around and Spark gasped, " Mark Twain!"

The reporter chuckled and said, "No, good sir, my name is Samuel Clemens. But I see that you've got an interest in that article I wrote. What can I do for you?"

Spark got over his celebrity-induced shock and got to business. "Yes. I'm looking for the blue-skinned man you wrote about recently. Can you tell me where he is, by chance?"

The writer nodded. "Yes indeed, metallic stranger. That card-player is most likely in the Gosh Darn Saloon, over cross yonder. There's something...odd about him. But he can play cards like nobody's business."

Spark thanked him, and walked out. The man shook his head and muttered, "Mark Twain. I like the sound of that..."

Spark saw the Gosh Darn Saloon, and pushed open the swinging doors.

*****

Ape10 walked past several of the stores in the mall, marvelling at the names. Pencil Sharpening Emporium... 8-track Central ...Shoelace Depot ...Man, Ape10 thought, they sell everything here.

He found Zombielyn and the youngster in the food court. The child was a boy, who looked to be about 8 years old. He had sandy blond hair, and looked rather average. If Ape10 hadn't known better, he'd have never had pegged him as a criminal mastermind.

The boy spoke before Ape10 or Zombielyn could say anything. "Ape10! I knew you would come. You're so predictable. It's almost too..."

Ape10 could take no more insults. He began to shout questions at the boy. "Who are you? How did you know about Bluebush's dinosaur-stealing plan? What did you do with Azwood Al's shadow? Where the hell are your parents?"

The boy glared up at Ape10 and said, "I'm The Man." He frowned, then added, "Or, I will be, once I grow up. For now, I guess I'm just The Boy. Which isn't nearly as menancing, I admit.

Regardless, it is a given that I will become The Man. And when that happens, the world will be mine. MINE!!!!"

Zombielyn said, "Ahhhh-haa!"

The Boy nodded. "Correct, Miss Monroe. The shadow told me much about my future."

"Well, The Boy," Ape10 interrupted, "I hate to disappoint such a charming individual as yourself, but I won't allow you to grow to become The Man, regardless of what the shadow told you."

The Boy chuckled and said, "I do believe that I am the one in charge here. And I'm afraid that you are the one that will not have much of a future. Minotaurs!!"
With that command, a small army of minotaurs appeared, surrounding Zombielyn and Ape10.

The Boy bowed slightly to the primate and the zombie. "Miss Monroe. Ape10. It's been fun. Pity you have to die now." And then he turned and disappeared out of the mall.

"Fuuuuuuugh." Zombielyn said.

*****

Spark looked around the interior of the Gosh Darn Saloon. The place consisted of the typical outlaws, thieves, and band of buggered. Over in a dark corner sat Bluebush, playing cards with a group of no-goodians.

Spark first walked to the bar. "Barkeep! I would like a glass of your best ale! And a Hot Pocket!"

The bartender slid the beer to the robot and said, "I don't know what a Hot Pocket is, Mister. That some sort of drink?"

Spark took his alcohol and said, "Never mind. This will do." He then made his way over to the table that Bluebush the pirate was sitting at. "Excuse me, gentlemen. I'm here to play cards with that fellow right there." He pointed at Bluebush.
The pirate scowled. Recognizing Spark, but not wanting to risk being captured, he decided to play along.
"Arr. Sit downs, mister, and we'll deal." After Spark sat down, Bluebush asked, "So, what game shall we play? Poker? Blackjack? War? I likes War. Arrrrr."

Spark said, "How about ....Go Fish."

The crowd that had gathered around to watch, gasped in unison.

Bluebush regained his composure and said, "Aye. Go Fish it be."

As he was dealing the cards, he asked, "Ye aren't afraid to make the game more ...interesting, are ye? A wager, of some sorts?"

"Absolutely," Spark said. "How about, the loser has to leave the West and never return?"

Bluebush chuckled. " Ye got it!"

Spark looked at the hand he had been dealt. Such luck! He was guaranteed to win, but he didn't let it show. Spark had a great Go Fish face. He put his fours down, leaving just the one card in his hand. He shouted "Uno!" and watched as Bluebush looked rather uncomfortable. The crowd murmured to itself - nobody had beaten Bluebush before!

A bearded older gentleman leaned over to Bluebush and whispered some advice to him.

"Have ye...." and before he finished asking, the pirate had upturned the table and run out of the Gosh Darn saloon. Spark followed, just in time to see Bluebush hop on a horse and gallop away. Grumbling, Spark found a horse and got on it. He tried to give chase, but, since it was the robot's first time on a stallion, he was unable to get it to cooperate. Bluebush had escaped yet again.

*****

In the Azwood West Mall, Ape10 and Zombielyn were trying to fight off the minotaurs. Zombielyn said, "Grrrraaaa!!"

Ape10 noticed they were next to Cattle Prods R Us. "Zombielyn!! Look!" He pointed at the storefront, and they went inside.

It was a mere matter of minutes later that they had managed to rustle the minotaurs together into a small enclosed area. "Well, we've got them captured," Ape10 said, "but what should we do with them? It's not like we can keep them here forever."

Zombielyn said with just a tint of evil in her voice, "Guuuh."

One of the minotaurs looked worried.

*****

Back in the park, the trio were sharing their adventures with each other.
Ape10 was concluding, "And we even made some money, selling the cheeseburgers!"

Zombielyn said, "Yuuuuuhhm."
Ape10 agreed, "And that's no bull!"

Spark laughed, then pointed out, "You know, technically, we're still at square one. Both of our enemies escaped, and if what The Boy says is true..." Spark shuddered.

Ape10 shrugged. "I'm not worried. We'll beat them in the end. That's what always happens in these types of stories. The good guys win, and then they all ride off into the sunset."

[Being spoiler for -Que Sera Sera highlight to view] As Ape10 and his friends investigate The Boy, shocking predictions about their own futures are uncovered.[end spoiler]

And if I can't have everything, then just give me a taste.

The internet is too big.

Proof. Man, I could (did) spend forever looking at all those links.

Knowledge sucks.






I mean it's great!

Another of them there movie lists.

Just like the fun one that went around a while back, only this one is shorter! The following 77 movies are the winners of the Best Picture Academy Award. I'll bold the ones I've seen.


1927/28 - Wings
1927/28 - Sunrise
1928/29 - The Broadway Melody

1929/30 - All Quiet on the Western Front
1930/31 - Cimarron
1921/32 - Grand Hotel
1932/33 - Cavalcade
1934 - It Happened One Night
1935 - Mutiny on the Bounty
1936 - The Great Ziegfeld
1937 - The Life of Emile Zola
1938 - You Can't Take It With You
1939 - Gone With the Wind

1940 - Rebecca
1941 - How Green Was My Valley
1942 - Mrs. Miniver
1943 - Casablanca
1944 - Going My Way
1945 - The Lost Weekend
1946 - The Best Years of Our Lives
1947 - Gentleman's Agreemant
1948 - Hamlet
1949 - All the King's Men

1950 - All About Eve
1951 - An American in Paris
1952 - The Greatest Show on Earth
1953 - From Here to Eternity
1954 - On the Waterfront
1955 - Marty
1956 - Around the World in 80 Days
1957 - The Bridge on the River Kwai
1958 - Gigi
1959 - Ben-Hur

1960 - The Apartment
1961 - West Side Story
1962 - Lawrence of Arabia
1963 - Tom Jones
1964 - My Fair Lady
1965 - The Sound of Music
1966 - A Man For All Seasons
1967 - In the Heat of the Night
1968 - Oliver!
1969 - Midnight Cowboy

1970 - Patton
1971 - The French Connection
1972 - The Godfather
1973 - The Sting
1974 - The Godfather Part II
1975 - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
1976 - Rocky
1977 - Annie Hall
1978 - The Deer Hunter
1979 - Kramer vs. Kramer

1980 - Ordinary People
1981 - Chariots of Fire
1982 - Gandhi
1983 - Terms of Endearnment
1984 - Amadeus
1985 - Out of Africa
1986 - Platoon
1987 - The Last Emperor
1988 - Rain Man
1989 - Driving Miss Daisy

1990 - Dances With Wolves
1991 - The Silence of the Lambs
1992 - Unforgiven
1993 - Schindler's List
1994 - Forrest Gump
1995 - Braveheart
1996 - The English Patient
1997 - Titanic
1998 - Shakespeare in Love
1999 - American Beauty

2000 - Gladiator
2001 - A Beuatiful Mind
2002 - Chicago
2003 - Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Okay, the 2003 one hasn't happened yet, but c'mon, it's a given. Also, I can't believe how sucky I did in the 80s. I made up for it in the 90s and aughts, though. [grin]

Ape10 episode 2½: The Groundhog Day Special

Winter had come to Azwood, and a bitter cold front had seized the city.

" It's freezing!" Ape10 complained.

"Mehhhhh." Zombielyn mehhed.

"That's easy for you to say," said Spark. "You're dead already. But it is cold. I mean, I can see my breath. And I'm a robot!"

Just then, a groundhog scampered into Ape10's park. It stood up and said, "I need your help."

Ape10 looked at the rodent and said, "Wow! Punxsutawney Phil! Is that you?"

The groundhog looked offended and said, "Pfft. Punxsutawney Phil! That fraud? Just because he got himself a Hollywood agent, everyone thinks he's the only groundhog that can foresee the future. No, I'm not Phil. I'm Azwood Al. And I can predict the future with the best of them. Or at least, I could up until a week ago. That's why I need you.

You see, about a week back, a young child swiped my shadow. Without a shadow, I can't accurately predict the end of winter. Groundhog Day is tomorrow, but if someone doesn't do something, I'm afraid Groundhog Day will have to be cancelled."

Spark gasped. "That child! That's probably the same kid from the first episode!"

"I assumed the same thing, Spark. It appears that we have another nemesis to contend with. And if this youngster is evil enough to ruin Groundhog Day, I fear that this enemy will make Bluebush look like ...well, child's play.
But right now we must try to help Al. Don't worry, Al. You're in good hands."

Just then, Azwood Al shrieked.

Ape10 and Spark turned just in time to see Zombielyn eating Al's brain.

Zombielyn smiled sheepishly, and said, "Gruhhhhh."

Ape10 sighed and said, "Well. Now we have to find a way to really fix Groundhog Day."

Spark said, "I believe I have an idea."

******

"Did it work?" Ape10 asked.

"Like a charm." Spark smiled. " The puppet was flawless. Nobody knew that I was the actual groundhog today. Plus, I made sure that winter will be ending soon."

"That's wonderful!" Ape10 said. "And the other part of the plan?"

"Dr. Setumei said that he would be able to clone a new groundhog from Al's remains. He added that he would make sure that he turned on the Shadow Gene, so future Groundhog Days will be safe once more." Spark concluded happily.

Ape10 smiled and said, "It seems that the Groundhog Day spirit can't be stolen, no matter how hard our enemies may try to stop it. Because the true meaning of Groundhog Day is within all of us."

"Guuuhhhgg!!" Zombielyn said.


Happy Groundhog Day from everyone at Ape10!!