Monday, May 10, 2004

Ape10 episode 6:

Dead Woman's Party

From the journal of Zombielyn Monroe:

Today is the day! I'm so excited about this! My undead heart is brimming with joy and excitement!

Excuse me, dear diary, I should go back and provide the adequate backstory to what I'm talking about.

It all began about a month ago...

Spark had gone into town to look for some spare parts, or at least that was the cover story he gave me. After a half an hour, Ape10 received a phone call on his cell phone. He listened for a while, then hung up and said to me, "Spark needs some help carrying some stuff, and asked me to help him. We'll be back in a little while."

He then morphed into gorilla form. I've often wondered how exactly it is that he has that ability -along with how he can speak at all, no other animal I've met has known so much English - but I know that he's not very forthcoming about his past. And he never asks about how I came to be a zombie, so I suppose we're okay keeping certain secrets from each other. But I digress.

As I said, Ape10 morphed, and then he, too went into Azwood. I stayed in the park, just passing time, making myself look beautiful. After another fifteen minutes or so, Ape10's cell rang. I didn't realize he had left it behind, but I answered it, anyway.

It was Ape10. He told me that there had been a change of plans, and to meet him and Spark at the corner of Broadway and Maple. Concerned that perhaps The Boy had interferred again, I asked if everything was okay.
"It's not an emergency, Zombielyn," he reassured me, "we just can't do what needs to be done without you here."

On that somewhat cryptic note, we hung up, and I made my way into town.

Upon my arrival at the intersection of Broadway and Maple, I saw only one place to go - a pizza parlor named Chuck E. Cheese's. I entered the building, and was greeted by Spark and Ape10 shouting "Surprise!"

The party was wonderful. My friends really are the best part of being a zombie. The fact that a magical monkey and a robot with artificial intelligence planned for an undead movie star to have a pizza party makes life worthwhile.

The party was just as wonderful as the Hollywood soirees I attended during my pre-zombie days. Better, in many ways. There, the people would stand around attempting to be the center of attention, and ending up being entirely fake. Being with Ape10 and Spark, we are our real selves. We don't have to pretend. It's more real.

Spark and Ape10 had asked me if I wanted to dance, and I had said yes. They had gathered around me, and that was when the front doors were kicked in and three men began viciously attacking Ape10 and Spark!

I began to fight back, and it was at that moment that I recognized the assailants. They were my brothers! Lethargy, Corpsey, and Moe.
I yelled for everyone to stop, loud enough to shatter glass - I believe I might have part banshee in me - and all the fighting ceased entirely. The five most important people in my life - my zombie brethren, Spark, and Ape10, all stared at me in confusion. I stared back. I finally broke the silence by giving Lethargy, Corpsey and Moe a hug. It was so good to see them again! Even if they had attacked my companions.

Ape10 asked, "You know these hooligans?"

Moe gave Ape10 a dirty look (he's always been the most sensitive of the three) and asked me if I knew these hooligans. And then to Ape10 he added, "And who you callin' a hooligan?"

Violence, it seemed, was about to erupt again, but I intervened. I explained to Spark and Ape10 who my brothers were, and then explained to my brothers who Spark and Ape10 were. I then asked why they had come in and attacked my friends. Lethargy answered, "A young boy told us you were being attacked by a robot and a monkey!"

Ape10, Spark, and myself all instantly knew. "The Boy!"

On my brother's confused looks, I explained who The Boy was. They were quite impressed. Corpsey said, "Our little sis, freaking the establishment!" Moe bonked him on the head and said, "Knock it off, knucklehead! You're embarassing her."

Once we had worked out that there was no need for anyone to fight, Spark suggested that we continue the party, adding that there was plenty of food for my brothers as well.

We all had a wonderful time, and it was indeed nice to catch up with my siblings. It seems that the three of them own a cememtary in North Haskerville (which is about a 30 minute drive outside of Azwood). We hadn't seen each other in many years, so the nostalgia was quite thick that day. And, as icing on the cake, Spark and Ape10 got along very well with my brothers.

It was shaping up to be one of the best days of my life.

And then the wall of the Chuck E. Cheese building crumbled, and Bluebush stormed in - riding his third dinowarrior; a stegosaurus!

"Arrrhaa!!" Bluebush laughed. "I have found ye! Now behold my weapons of mass destruction!"

At that, the stegosaurus began to thrash it's spiky tail about, smashing into Chuck E. Cheese, and demolishing the soda dispenser.

It took only seconds for the six of us to decide to fight the pirate and his insane dinosaur. I think that if my brothers had not been there, Bluebush may well have succeeded in destroying us. But with the assistance of Lethargy, Corpsey, and Moe (who have always had a penchance for violence), we quickly made mincemeat of the prehistoric beast. (Quite literally.) While we were fighting the dinosaur, Bluebush quickly stepped out of the hole in the wall, as is his way. Attack and run. He's such a coward. I swear, if I ever get my hands ...and claws ...on him...

Back to the fight - While we were fighting the beast, it seemed to try to approach the desk - where the prizes are kept. At first, I thought that this was in an attempt to escape our onslaught. And while that may have been part of the animal's reasoning, it turns out that there was more to it than that. As the creature lay dying, moaning it's final moans, I followed it's gaze to the prize-counter...and saw a dinosaur egg.

It was behind the counter and available for 'purchase' for the price of 10000 tickets. The poor dinowarrior had been a mother! It had been wanting to be reunited with it's offspring! As the understanding of the situation dawned on me, I turned to the quickly dying monster, and whispered to it, "I'll take care of it."

I approached the counter, and told the clerk that I wanted the dinosaur egg. The young man said, "That's 10,000 tickets, lady."

I considered simply devouring this twerp's cranium, and taking the egg, but Ape10, having realized the situation, came behind me and stopped me from doing it. "That's not our way, Zombielyn." he said. Knowing he was right, I sighed. He then pointed to the Skee-ball machine and said, "But that is."

I smiled.

The six of us have mad skills when it comes to Skee-Ball. In a matter of minutes, we had won enough tickets to buy the dinosaur egg. And a few temporary tattoos! When we "bought" the egg, I asked Ape10 and Spark if they had any problems with keeping the infant dinosaur, rather than using the Time Blender to drop it off in history. They conferred briefly and Ape10 smiled and said, "I guess I'll be a monkey uncle."

So I kept the dinosaur egg, and have been caring for it for the past month. Today, finally, is the day that the egg is due to hatch. I should call my brothers to come attend the arrival of their new "niece" or "nephew".

Motherhood is going to be a challenge, but one that I'm really looking forward to...

Zombielyn put the pen down, closed her journal, and went to go view the birth of the stegosaurus.

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