Friday, April 02, 2010

Haiku Review: Lost - The Package

In the alt-world, there
were plenty of things reVealed
about Sun. *ahem*

Apparently, one
of Lost's sponsors this week was
Victoria's Secret.

Anyway. We find
out that Sun and Jin are not
wed, but still make loVe.

And while the couple
approVe of pre-marital
sex, Sun's dad doesn't.

Man, Daddy issues
plague our Losties no matter
what dimension, huh?
Not only did Sun's
dad steal her cash, he also
planned to haVe Jin whacked.

Of course, Sayid makes
sure that doesn't happen, as
we already saw.

But. While Sayid
took care of Keamy and co,
there was still Patchy.

Who started off not
needing his trademark eyepatch.
-didn't stay that way.

Sadly, Sun gets hit
by a stray bullet. And we
find out she's pregnant.

On the Island, Smocke
goes to Sun, says, "Hey, join my
team! It'll be fun!"

But Sun has a thing
about trusting walking smoke
that looks like dead Locke.

So, she runs away,
and hits her head on the Tree
of Forgetfulness.

Once she comes to, she
no longer speaks English. Just
like her alt-world self!

Meanwhile, Widmore's crew
drugs Smocke's team and kidnaps Jin.
Who are these people?!?

Can't anyone on 
the Island simply talk to 
each other? Why's it...
...always gotta be
kidnapping and subterfuge?
Niceness works wonders.

Zoe asks Jin to
explain some of the Dharma
maps. Jin's not helpful.

He might haVe been, if
you hadn't tazed him, Zo....e.
Again, try niceness.

Widmore tells Jin, if
Smocke gets off the Island, we
will cease to exist.

Well, that's intriguing.
And also good incentiVe
for Jin to help you.

Widmore decides to
show Jin "the package", which sounds

But, it turns out it's
Desmond, just like the whole world
already guessed.

When Smocke finds that Jin
is missing, he takes Sayid
oVer to Hydra.

Pretend there's a great
"Smoke on the Water" joke here.
I can't think of one.

Smocke confronts Widmore,
tells him that war just arriVed.
Wonder who will win.

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