Haiku Review: Lost - The Package

In the alt-world, there
were plenty of things reVealed
about Sun. *ahem*

Apparently, oneof Lost's sponsors this week wasVictoria's Secret.
Anyway. We findout that Sun and Jin are notwed, but still make loVe.
And while the coupleapproVe of pre-maritalsex, Sun's dad doesn't.
Man, Daddy issuesplague our Losties no matterwhat dimension, huh? Not only did Sun'sdad steal her cash, he alsoplanned to haVe Jin whacked.
Of course, Sayid makessure that doesn't happen, aswe already saw.
But. While Sayidtook care of Keamy and co,there was still Patchy.
Who started off notneeding his trademark eyepatch.-didn't stay that way.
Sadly, Sun gets hitby a stray bullet. And wefind out she's pregnant.
On the Island, Smockegoes to Sun, says, "Hey, join myteam! It'll be fun!"
But Sun has a thingabout trusting walking smokethat looks like dead Locke.
So, she runs away,and hits her head on the Treeof Forgetfulness.
Once she comes to, sheno longer speaks English. Justlike her alt-world self!
Meanwhile, Widmore's crewdrugs Smocke's team and kidnaps Jin.Who are these people?!?
Can't anyone on the Island simply talk to each other? Why's it... ...always gotta bekidnapping and subterfuge?Niceness works wonders.
Zoe asks Jin toexplain some of the Dharmamaps. Jin's not helpful.
He might haVe been, ifyou hadn't tazed him, Zo....e.Again, try niceness.
Widmore tells Jin, ifSmocke gets off the Island, wewill cease to exist.
Well, that's intriguing.And also good incentiVefor Jin to help you.
Widmore decides toshow Jin "the package", which soundshomoerotic.
But, it turns out it'sDesmond, just like the whole worldalready guessed.
When Smocke finds that Jinis missing, he takes SayidoVer to Hydra.
Pretend there's a great"Smoke on the Water" joke here.I can't think of one.
Smocke confronts Widmore,tells him that war just arriVed.Wonder who will win.