2017 books, movies, and change

So, another year is finishing up, and that means it's time for me to copy & paste the lists of media (well, books and movies, at least) I've been maintaining throughout the past 365 days. And it's time to see how much spare change I've picked up along the way, too.

As always with the books, after my thoughts/review, I'll type up the final sentence, which will be in parentheses and will be spoiler tagged, except for the final word. (And if the last sentence of the book was only one word, that will be tagged.)

This is gonna be a long entry, so may as well get started...

Books read in 2017:

1. All Our Wrong Todays by Elan Mastai - started off really really good. Funny, whimsical, melancholy, sci-fi fun. It was about time travel, and how in Tom’s timeline, the Jetsons basically became reality after 1965. Teleporting, robot maids, peace on earth, no pollution, all the shiny future type things that they imagined it would be, all of those exist in Tom’s 2016. Tom’s dad is a brilliant scientist, and creates a time machine. Tom goes back in time, to 1965, but ends up changing the timeline *just barely*, and it results in OUR current situation. Tom winds up in our 2016, and there are different versions of his parents, as well as sister he didn’t have in the other time line, and everyone thinks of him as John. It’s a little bit complicated, but it makes a bit of sense in-novel. Tom/John has to choose between this new dystopian society and the old utopian one that he was used to (not to mention the fact that his tinkering with the timeline ‘uncreated’ millions of lives.) Chapters 91 and 92 were pretty amazing, and in my mind I was going to give it a 5 star rating on goodreads at that point. …And then chapter 93 happened, and I very nearly didn’t finish the book. There was a VERY drastic turn at this point, and while it was semi-explained/cleared up…it really did sour the book for me. And then reading other reviews that pointed out some of the negative aspects… yeah. Pity, really, because it had a lot of great potential, and I enjoyed a lot of the book, but, well having your main character commit sexual assault/rape is gonna make things a bit less pleasant, ya know? (All along it was you.)
2. Mr. Penumbra’s 24 Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan – Steph recommended I read this, and I’m so glad she did. All about a secret society dedicated to reading ancient books trying to find hidden messages. Great characters, and just a fun read all around. (A clerk and a ladder and warm golden light, and then: the right book exactly, at exactly the right time.)
3. Paper Girls vol. 1  by Robert K. Vaughn – Graphic novel by one of my favorite graphic novel writers. This is about four twelve year old girls in 1988 going about their paper routes on the night after Halloween. And then all sorts of weird shit happens – time travel, pterodactyl invasions, mass abductions. Volume 1 has a LOT going on, and it’s a bit early to tell if it’ll all pay off, but I’m intrigued enough, and Vaughn has built up enough of a good reputation with me, that I’ll continue on with the series for a bit. (My name is Erin Tieng.)
4. Paper Girls vol. 2 by Robert K. Vauhgn – even better than volume 1. The characters are growing, the plot is still crazy as all get out, but starting to make more sense and future seeds were planted, and there was a lot more humor. I’m not sure exactly how long it can be sustained, but as long as it isn’t dragged out for too long, I’m on board. (We’re alive.)
5. Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits by David Wong – Took a little while to get into, and most of the characters weren’t developed enough for me to care about, but this was still overall pretty fun. (Mission accomplished.)
6. Saga vol. 7 by Robert K. Vaughn –  I think….I might be falling out of love with Saga. The depressing ending didn’t impact me the way it was intended. I had predicted a bad ending for that particular storyline, and was correct in my prediction, although I was wrong in the timeframe. It happened a lot sooner than I thought it would. But, I just didn’t care. And the other storylines/characters have largely lost their appeal, too. Maybe there’s just too much time between volumes. Perhaps if I read them all together… Anyway, I’ll stick with the series for a little while longer. Could just be a slump. (One moment, the universe presents you with this amazing opportunity for new possibilities… … and then…)
7. Bedbugs by Ben H Winters – short creepy little novel about a family that moves into a new apartment in New York, which might just have a supernatural bedbug infestation. Quick read, and pretty enjoyable. (Every morning, when she woke, she lay in bed for a long time, until she felt ready to check her pillowcase.)
8. Gwendy’s Button Box by Stephen King and Richard Chizmar – this novella was good, but it was MUCH too short. There was definitely more there to be unpacked. I felt like things were teased that didn’t have payoff. (The black button; Farris’ hat; selling the coins) – And what is up with RF being… not malicious? Sure, he was creepy, but his overall plan was to… test a young girl? That’s not in character with how King has had this character act previously. Like I said, I greatly enjoyed the two hours or so that it took to read this, I just wanted there to be MORE to it. (Then she laughs and puts it in her pocket.)
9. Morning Glories vol 1: For a Better Future by Nick Spencer – Graphic novel series that basically poses the question – what if Hogwarts existed, but were EVIL. (well, sort of. It’s basically a private school with a lot of hints of supernatural weirdness going on. And murder. And time travel, maybe?) This being the first volume, it was just a lot of setup. Will it payoff? I dunno, but so far I’m intrigued enough to find out. (Call me Jade.)
10. Morning Glories vol 2: All Will Be Free by Nick Spencer – This was a  better volume – each issue delved into the pasts of the 6 main students, and made you care about them (and their mysteries) more. The series overall has a very Lost feel to it, which makes me somewhat leery, since that didn’t pan out as well as it should have, but we’ll see. Like I said, so far, I’m game. (What if I told you I could bring them back?)
11. Nailbiter vol 1: There Will Be Blood by Joshua Williamson – another graphic novel series. This one is about the town of Buckaroo, Oregon that has been the birthplace of 16 serial killers over the past 40 years. Why are so many people born here growing up to become murderers? The sheriff (Crane) and an NSA agent (Finch) [what’s with the bird names?] must work together to figure that out, all the while dealing with the townspeople, as well as a possible new killer among them. Some of the twists were predictable, and sometimes the pacing is weird, but very interesting start. (If I were a serial killer, who would I kill next?)
12. Nailbiter vol 2: Bloody Hands by Joshua Williamson – the pacing is still off, and we’re getting far more questions thrown at us than answers, but I still like Finch and Crane’s characters enough to stick with the series. I almost wish this was a tv show or a novel, though. Sometimes things (especially in this  collection) would be really intriguing, and they’d drop it when I wished they’d delve deeper. (A midnight snack has always helped me sleep.)
13. Morning Glories vol 3: P.E. by Nick Spencer – A little  bit of a letdown after volume 2 – it’s feeling like they’re throwing more and more stuff at the wall to see what sticks. It’s still entertaining/intriguing, but I’m feeling like tying it ALL together to make sense is becoming increasingly unlikely. The bigger your ball of wax, the harder it is to make it all tie together. (Hello, Hunter -- looks like I finally caught up to you.)
14. Morning Glories vol 4: Truants by Nick Spencer – Okay, things are a little bit clearer, but …not really much? There’s a vague sense of where the overall story may be going – but I expect that it probably won’t turn out that way. Anyway. Whole bunch of new characters thrown at us this go around, and one of the original six may be dead-dead. (Hard to know if characters actually stay dead in series such as this.) And a sort of retcon with Ike’s character took place here – still a pompous ass, but with maybe a heart of gold. Or aluminum, maybe. Anyway. Decent volume, we’ll see what happens. (Not you.)
15. The Walking Dead vol 27 The Whisperer War by Robert Kirkman – tra la la. Too many subplots, too many characters to keep track of, and difficult to care about all of them. Plots I’m curious about still: the radio conversation, Negan (somewhat),  Rick’s “old man” comment, Carl and his relationship with Alpha’s daughter. Plots I could care less about: everything else. (Our war is over… let the dead finish what we have started.)
16. Chew vol 12 Sour Grapes by John Layman – So, Chew is over. And…the ending was a letdown. I think maybe the series went on too long, or … I don’t know. There was a LOT of exposition to explain everything in this final volume, which I appreciate having them wrap things up, but … I don’t know. It felt sort of like, what was the point? The series, I think, maybe felt like it had to keep topping itself with weirdness, and at a point just got a little tiresome, and it was hard to still care about the characters. There were some deaths in this volume that *should* have impacted me, but …didn’t. And that ending … really? THAT is how things are gonna go out? Sigh. So disappointing overall. The series artwork was FANTASTIC, and the humor, when it was on, was SPOT. ON. Just a bummer that they didn’t stick the landing. :( Oh well. (Shunk!)
17. Nailbiter vol 3 Blood in the Water by Joshua Williamson – hm. I have a feeling I’m going to stick with this thru thick and thin. I just hope I’m not disappointed. I THINK it’ll be fine, so long as it doesn’t get dragged on too long. I’m really hoping that the way this volume ended means that some answers will be coming very soon. Guess I’ll find out when I read volume 4. (But can you tell me what happened to my arms and legs?)
18. Nailbiter vol 4 Blood Lust by Joshua Williamson – Characters in this series flip flop a lot. Meaning people who you hate and think you’ve got figured out are given backstories that suddenly make them more sympathetic. And protagonists go and say or do something that causes you to despise them. Is that because the writing is good, or because it’s inconsistent? I’m gonna go with “yes”. I really really hope that there is an ending -with answers/explanations – in store, and that things start coming soon. (What have you done?)
19. Morning Glories vol 5: Tests by Nick Spencer – (Make her get up!)
20. Morning Glories vol 6: Demerits by Nick Spencer – I have no idea what is even going on anymore. (My David.)
21. Morning Glories vol 7: Honors by Nick Spencer – I’m not sure why I keep reading – I keep thinking I know what’s going on, because there are hints of answers, but I have no idea if any theories I come up with are close to accurate because more shit gets thrown into the mix. Sigh. (Zoe?)
22. Spoonbenders by Daryl Gregory – this was so much fun! The Amazing Telemachus family was once on the edge of greatness – the patriarch of the family (Teddy) is a conman, the rest of his family (wife Maureen, eldest daughter Irene, and his sons Frank and Buddy) each have actual psychic abilities. In the 70s during a taping of The Mike Douglas Show, a skeptic ruined the family by pointing out Teddy’s tricks. The main plot of the story takes place in the mid-90s; where Irene’s son Matty is now developing his own abilities, and Frank is trying to work his way out of financial problems with the mafia. The characters were all great, and I loved spending time with all of them. This would make a great movie if done properly. (In an instant, he’s there.)
23. Here by Richard McGuire – an experimental type of graphic novel. The book focuses on one particular area (a corner of a house built in the 1800s) and checks in on it during various points in time over thousands of years (from hundreds of thousands of years ago to several hundred years in the future). There wasn’t really a ‘story’ here, but it was still an interesting type of book. (Now I remember.)
24. Nimona by Noelle Stevenson – such a joy! This graphic novel started as a webcomic and tells the story of Nimona, a young girl who can shapeshift and decides to become a sidekick to the local villain. It’s set in medieval times mixed with futuristic technology, and blends it all together wonderfully. The characters all have more to them than you’d be set to believe, and the artwork is marvelously adorkable. There was a Chekov’s gun that never fired, but that is a minor nitpick. I really really liked this, and supposedly it’s being turned into a movie – if so, it should be a good one. (A friend.)
25. Tomorrow’s Kin by Nancy Kress – First in a planned trilogy. Good first contact novel. The “Deneb” show up in a giant ship near the U.N. building in New York City. The Deneb are, it turns out, not actually aliens, so much as …human. 150,000 years ago, a small group of humans were taken from Earth, and transferred to another planet (that they refer to as World). (WHO did this is not answered. There are hints, though, that that particular plotline may rise in the upcoming novels). Anyway, due to World’s geography and whatnot, the Deneb had a jumpstart on agriculture and getting civilization going – thus allowing them to become much more technologically advanced then us Earthlings. Anyway, they built the ship and made their way to Earth for two reasons – to find their ancestors, and to warn us that there is a fatal dust cloud making its way toward earth’s orbit. Will humanity be able to find a cure in the 10 months that we have left? And are the Deneb as trustworthy as they claim? All in all, an engaging sci-fi novel. (She rose from the porch, dusted off the seat of her jeans, and went into the lighted house.)
26. Nailbiter vol 5 Bound by Blood by Joshua Williamson – Parts of this felt like filler, but it was still an entertaining enough series for me to stick with it. (I hate reading.)
27. Nailbiter vol 6 The bloody truth by Joshua Williamson – Well. Okay then. You want a lot of exposition and explanation and answers that are rushed and less than supremely satisfying? Because that is what you’re gonna get. One the one hand, at least the series didn’t drag on for far too long just making things more and more complicated (looks sideways at Morning Glories), but on the other hand, the feeling I get is that another volume or two would have actually benefited the series overall. Bummer. Maybe someday this will get turned into a tv series. I suspect that it could be really well done. There’s SO much potential for this idea, it really did feel like they didn’t mine it as much as they should have. Oh well. (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH)
28. Zita the Spacegirl by Ben Hatke – charming graphic novel about a young girl (Zita) and her friend (Joseph) who stumble upon a strange device with a big red button on it. Zita presses the button, zapping them both to a weird alien world that has giant mice, friendly (and not so friendly) robot guards, an alien cult, and, oh, an asteroid approaching that is going to destroy the world in a few weeks. Zita needs to find Joseph, find a way home, and not get herself killed in the process. Nothing wholly original in this, but the artwork is very adorable, and most of the characters are quirky enough that you enjoy the time with them anyway. (Hey wait!)
29. The End of Ordinary by Edward Ashton – Ehhhh. This was a quick read, and it wasn’t *bad*, but it felt like it wasn’t really living up to it’s potential. There were hints of ideas that were bigger and seemed like they should have been explored better (manmade viruses, altering people’s DNA, rogue AI systems). It started off interesting enough, but by the end … felt sort of empty. I have suspicions that it was set up to allow other novels set in the same universe to be written in the future. (Baby steps, right?)
30. Paper Girls vol 3 by Brian K Vaughn – This whole volume was set in the way distant past, introduced a few new characters and potential wrinkles, but didn’t really move the story forward much. But that’s okay, because the characters are for the most part pretty great. Looking forward to future volumes. (Why too what?)
31. Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Zafron – read this for college class, was super enjoyable! Not my usual pick, but I’m glad that I was forced to. Set in Barcelona in 1945, this tells the tale of Daniel, who has his life changed when he discovers the work of a (mostly) unknown author named Julian Carax. The stories within stories were intriguing and all of the mystery and drama and symbolism and beautiful language just worked on so many levels. Highly recommended. (Soon afterward, like figures made of steam, father and son disappear into the crowd of the Ramblas, their steps lost forever in the shadow of the wind.)
32.   A Small Story about the Sky by Alberto Rios – poetry, with a heavy desert tint to them. Some worked amazingly well, some were just meh. (Something is always fixed.)
33. Brown girl dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson – This was a autobiography/memoir told in verse form. This was like a time capsule of the Civil Rights movement of the 60s. Many of the poems were powerful, too. (And all the worlds you are - / Ohio and Greenville / Woodson and Irby / Gunnar's child and Jack's daughter / Jehovah's Witness and nonbeliever / listener and writer / Jackie and Jacqueline - / gather into one world / called You / where You decide / what each world / and each story / and each ending / will finally be.)
34. Al Franken Giant of the Senate by Al Franken- God, how I wish more politicians were like Al Franken. The man is smart, passionate, funny and he CARES. This autobiography goes thru Franken’s early life, his time on SNL, and the majority of it is focused on his run for the US Senate. He’s not perfect, of course, but just seeing that not all politicians in this era of Trump are horrible humans is refreshing.  (And how fucking great they are.) ..sigh. And, just a week and a half after I read this, news about Franken’s behavior has broken. I’m disappointed and sad and angry and I don’t even know. The book was still interesting, and well written, but my entire outlook of Franken has been changed, and not for the better.
35. Sleeping Beauties by Stephen King and Owen King – good, but not GREAT. (A moth flutters from the branch of the old oak tree and settles on her hand.)
36. Rhett & Link’s Book of Mythicality: A Field Guide to Curiosity, Creativity, and Tomfoolery by Rhett McLaughlin & Link Neal – my favorite youtubers wrote a book. Part autobiography, part how-to-guide to living a more ‘mythical’ lifestyle… it wasn’t all that funny (comedy in books really is difficult), but it was an enjoyable enough way to pass the time. (Now go, and be your mythical best.)
37. You Can’t Spell America Without Me: The Really Tremendous Inside Story of my Fantastic First Year as President Donald J Trump - A So-called Parody by Alec Baldwin & Kurt Andersen – Baldwin’s Trump impression has long worn out its welcome (just like the real thing!) but this book was ...well, it was all right. Had a lot of subtle (and many completely unsubtle) jabs at the Cheeto. But I'm sure it didn't change any minds. I don't think that was even the goal, though. I guess if it helped any sane individual have a moment or two of joy, it has succeeded. I did get a few smiles out of it, but mostly it made me tired, because there has been SO. MUCH. CRAP.  (Because the president has got a question.)
38. Legend volume one: Defend the Grounds by Samuel Sattin – Graphic novel set in a post-apocalyptic world in which humans have mostly died out (those who remain have become zombie/brainless killers) and house pets (dogs cats and hawks, at least) have gained intelligence and banded together to reform their societies. This was a lot of set up, but just didn’t work for me. The art was decent, but the story and characters didn’t connect with me. I won’t be continuing this. (I look forward to joining you… on the blooded path.)
39. The Punch Escrow by Tal M. Klein - Definitely a "page turner" - this sci-fi romp is set in 2196, where teleportation is the norm. Then, everyman Joel Byram finds out - the hard way - that the procedure doesn't work the way everyone thinks it does.  Having it end with it more or less begging for a sequel is pretty irksome, though. (Fuck.)

 So. That was what I read. Onto the films...

Movies seen in 2017:

1. Moonwalkers – Ron Perlman and Rupert Grint star in this comedy about the US Government having a ‘back up plan’ of fake moon-landing footage. Perlman is a CIA agent who kicks major ass and takes no shit from no one. Rupert is a manager of a failing rock band in England. Perlman wants to hire Stanley Kubrick to make the fake footage. Hijinks ensue. It’s actually pretty funny, although there’s a  drug scene that goes on a little too long. Overall, a fun little romp.
2. The Secret Life of Pets – I admit I did nod off near the end, but the parts that I saw were charming and funny. The kids really enjoyed it, too.
3. Life After Beth – a zombie romantic comedy (zomromcom?) that is …sorta lifeless? It’s got Aubrey Plaza (from Parks & Rec) in it, which is why I watched it, but it didn’t really have a point, or many good jokes. It wasn’t a BAD movie, but was just… there.
4. Welcome to Me – Kirsten Wiig plays Alice Kleig, a woman diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, who wins 83 million dollars in the lottery. She uses the winnings to start her own Oprah-like television show where she talks about herself. This wasn’t that good, and wasn’t funny. It was actually sad that her mental illness wasn’t being addressed by any of the people around her. Her therapist gave up on her, her ex-husband was there, but not attempting to get her help, her best friend couldn’t get through to her due to her selfishness (and her mental illness?), and the television crew didn’t care at all as long as she kept signing checks and their ratings were improving. It had the textbook “happy” ending in that she “improved” her relationships with her friends and those around her, but oof, this could have been so much better than it was.
5. Kidnapping Mr. Heineken – based on a true story about a group of friends who kidnapped the CEO of Heineken beer in 1983. And then they received the highest ransom payout in history. (It doesn’t end well for them, though.) Anthony Hopkins was Mr. Heineken, and he was great, as usual. I enjoyed this – partly because I had no idea how it was going to play out. Sometimes ignorance is useful.
6. Tallulah – Ellen Page plays Tallulah, a drifter who winds up taking a toddler from her neglectful upper-class mother. This was really really good.
7. Imperium – Daniel Radcliffe plays an FBI agent who goes undercover into the world of white supremacy in order to stop them from making a dirty bomb. Lacked tension, or something. It was merely okay, I didn’t really feel anything for any of the characters, and didn’t get a deeper understanding of the white supremacists.
8. Life of Crime – a mediocre crime comedy with Jennifer Aniston and Tim Robbins. Another case of a movie that was entertaining, but more or less forgettable.
9. The Shallows – Millennial Jaws, I guess.
10. This Is Elvis – a sort of documentary of Elvis Presley’s life and career. Used a lot of rare footage, mixed with a few recreations (especially in the early part of his life when things weren’t documented) and was narrated by various people from Elvis’s life. It was pretty interesting, although somewhat sad. Elvis seemed like a decent guy who got in over his head a few times. And man, the guy really did have a great voice.
11. John Wick –  In this Matrix side-quest, Neo is almost defeated by the mini-boss, Perkins, before Player 2 (Wilem Dafoe) steps in. Eventually, Player 2 is killed by the final boss, and then Neo has to battle him in the rain. He wins, but also dies. Good news, though! He must have reached a save point right before then, because he’s able to finish out the game with a new dog.
12. The Complete Beatles – In the 1960s, 4 young British guys got together to form a band. They had a few hits over the course of the decade.
13. La La Land – hey, a musical! Very very pretty, and the opening number alone is worth the price of admission. A lot of the songs are, sadly, somewhat forgettable, but the ending made me tear up anyway.
14. 1408 – Maybe it’s just me, but ghost stories are just not really that scary. John Cusack and Samuel L Jackson were good in their roles in this, though.
15. Suicide Squad – what a freaking mess
16. Gattac – I had seen Gattaca years ago, but remembered pretty much nothing. So, when Saren said she was going to download the movie and asked if I’d (re)watch it with her, I said sure. And... then the final 11 minutes of the movie weren’t viewable. (She found another file a few days later, watched the final bit, and then told me what happened.) Two things that stood out upon watching this – it’s interesting that in the “near future”, an obsession with 1950s-styles reemerges, and those detectives investigating the murder were really bad at their jobs.
17. Deseierto – meh
18. American Beauty – rewatch. This hasn’t aged well. Back in 1999 I thought it was insightful and deep. Now I found it pretentious and annoying. And most (all?) of the characters are reprehensible.
19. Scarface – cocaine is a helluva drug.
20. Trolls – ehhhh. Super colorful, and sing-y, and …surreal? Weird? Odd? Character design. It wasn’t a horrible movie, but it didn’t do a lot for me, personally, either.
21. Arrival – bit of a slow burn, but pretty good flick.
22. Counter Clockwise – neat premise – a scientist accidentally creates a time machine, and travels 6 months into the future, where he finds himself wanted for the murder of his wife & sister, so he has to travel back in time and find out why. Unfortunately, the premise was the best thing about this low budget drek. I guess logically it all worked out, but most of the characters’ actions were WAY unbelievable, making it difficult to buy into how it was all playing out. Pity.
23. Moana – great character arcs for both Moana and Maui, AMAZING animation, and just a great movie overall.
24. The Remaining – it’s The Rapture, yo. Still don’t get how that’s a good thing for anyone involved – all the believers die, and those who remain get chased by fallen demons unless they “choose god” too. Or… even if they do? I don’t know, strange belief, but, you know, people believe all sorts of weird things. The acting wasn’t bad, and the production value was actually pretty decent for this type of film, but there wasn’t much of a point to the story beyond God works in mysterious ways.
25. Se7en – rewatch. Still a pretty good flick, although this is one of those movies where, once you know the twists, it’s not *quite* as entertaining, ya know? Also, where the female characters at, yo? Also also, Mills & Sommerset were a lot more loose with the rules than I recall them being the first time I watched it.
26. Space Station 76 – it’s like the writers said, “Hey, let’s make a spoof of the 70s.” and then got all the 70s stuff, but forgot the jokes. This was painfully unfunny. Pity, because there was a glimmer of potential there. The soundtrack was groovy, though.
27. Passengers – not  cool, Chris Pratt. Not cool. Which the movie acknowledges… but then has Jennifer Lawrence accept/fall in love with her stalker/captor anyway. Sigh. A better ending that I read online: Jim should die because his survival is ludicrous. Then we have Aurora living alone, talking to the robot bartender, stalkerly reading up on her fellow passengers and ultimately crushing on one of them, struggling with the ethical dilemma... and then we see her with a screwdriver getting ready to open a guy's pod. Fade to black.
28. The To Do List – I think I’m pretty okay with watching anything with Aubrey Plaza in it.
29. Vin and the Chipmunks – Missed the first ten/fifteen minutes of Alvin and the Chipmunks while on vacation. It was…there.
30. Rogue One A Star Wars Story – Fan service galore, but it worked. I’m not a mega-fan (the Star Wars universe is fun escapism, not a hokey religion), so this was just a good popcorn movie.
31. The Bye Bye Man – how does a movie this poorly written, this predictable, this unscary, this unintentionally laughable get made? The mysteries of Hollywood.
32. Kubo and the Two Strings – really, really good. The animation is freaking amazing, and the characters were fun to be with.
33. Train to Busan – easily the best zombie movie I’ve seen in years. Loved the zombies, loved the characters, loved the action. Very entertaining.
34. Doctor Strange –The bending cities trick was cool, but did get a little tedious after a while. However, the Hong Kong action scene near the end was freaking AMAZING. All in all just a mediocre entry in the Marvel movie universe.
35. A Dog’s Purpose –schmaltzy and not that greatly acted, but, I cried anyway and laughed at some of the dumb jokes. They’re good dogs, Brent.
36. Split – I bet that stinger would have made me super excited if I had ever seen Unbreakable. Since I haven’t, it feel pretty flat, like the rest of this movie.
37. Masterminds – very few of the jokes worked (I think I laughed maybe once) but the fact that it was a heist movie (somewhat) and a true story (again, somewhat) gave it a lot of leeway. Plus Kristin Wiig and Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones all get a pass – I’ll watch pretty much anything they’re in. And this wasn’t a a *bad* movie, it just had a lot more potential than it lived up to.
38. Hell or High Water- banks are evil, but robbing banks is too, I guess.
39. Unbreakable – ah. Now the ending of Split makes a little more sense. (Doesn’t make that a better movie, though) This was pretty good, probably the best M. Night movie. And it did leave me wanting more of David’s story, so, well done?
40. Green Room – holy cow. Punk band versus a bunch of heroin selling Nazis. Tense, gory, and pretty well acted, too. (Bonus – Patrick Stewart!!)
41. Night of the Living Deb – you know how sometimes you want junk food, and then you eat it, and you’re like, “Why did I eat that? It was so not satisfying.”? This movie was that. A zombie ‘comedy’ (I did chuckle once or twice, I think) about a couple who have a one-night stand and wake up the morning after to find themselves in a zombie-apocalypse. Ray Wise is in it, which is a plus, but there’s not much else going for this, sadly.
42. Nocturnal Animals – the novel within the movie was way more gripping than the outer story about Susan’s failing marriage/career, and I felt like there were a number of things I didn’t quite “get” about that aspect of it. This was adapted from a novel, apparently, and I feel like there were probably things that would have made more sense if I had read that. I really enjoyed the movie overall, despite the confusing parts, so maybe I’ll track down the book it was based on and read that.
43. Life – I felt like the pacing was off at the beginning – they kind of rushed getting Calvin in and established (there should have been a whole lot more awe and wonder at the discovery of intelligent life forms, after all) and the whole thing was filled with horror movie clichés, but for the most part, I enjoyed this. The “twist” ending was not really much of a twist, but what ya gonna do? Also, I don’t think I’ve seen a movie with Jake Gyllenhaal that I have NOT liked, at least somewhat. Dude winds up in really interesting movies, if nothing else.
44. Frozen - (not the Disney movie) low budget flick about a trio of college students on a ski trip who get stuck on a ski lift at night, with hungry wolves below. Sure, credibility was strained at times, but this wasn’t half bad.
45. Beauty and the Beast – the live action remake of the animated classic. The bits that were spot on were SPOT. ON. And much goosebumps (and maybe a few tears) were had. But this did feel a bit …inflated? Like there were maybe ten minutes or so that could have been trimmed, just to make it a tighter movie. Eh. I’m nitpicking. This was pretty great.
46. Logan – why is it so dusty in here? This was really good, but certainly not an upbeat flick. But, yes, very very enjoyable.
47. Get Out – so good. One of those rare movies packed with multiple layers and symbolism, AND it was enjoyable and realistic (to a point). Very smart, very well acted, and just a great movie all around. 
48. The Girl on the Train – blah. Just felt like this sort of thing has been done a lot better by dozens of other movies.
49. The Belko Experiment – quick brutal little horror flick about an office in South America that is actually a government-run experiment in killing and human survival. Outlandish and ridiculous, yet enjoyable for what it was.
50. Mindhorn – hilarious comedy about a washed up actor who stared in a crappy sci-fi police show in the late 80s called Mindhorn. In the present day, a suspected killer says he will only cooperate with the police if he can speak with Mindhorn. So the cops bring the actor in to help them out. Hilarity ensues. (Yes, really.) This was one of the funniest comedies I’ve seen in a very long time.
51. Tunnel – Korean drama that was engaging, but probably could have been about 20 minutes shorter. About a business man who gets trapped in his car when a poorly constructed tunnel collapses.
52. John Wick chapter 2 – sequel. And set up for ANOTHER. (Which I will absolutely see.) This world is ridiculous, and yet somehow totally engaging. Although, really, I think it would be ideal if the third chapter is the final one.
53. Alone Here -  a slightly better than average zombie apocalypse flick. Mostly a character study, about a woman who retreated to the woods with her husband and young daughter once things started to go bad. Incorporates flashbacks to show how she ended up alone. In the present, she meets up with a man with his teenage stepdaughter who are trying to survive – they work together, trying to trust each other.
54. Shimmer Lake – a crime thriller that was …okay. It tried to take a page from Memento by more or less playing out in reverse chronological order, which was not really necessary, but did give it a few semi-interesting twists, I guess. I saw the final twist coming way too early, and by the end was kind of thinking, “okay, what was the point of this?”
55. The Boss Baby – um.
56. Alien: Covenant – sequel to Prometheus, and still a prequel to Alien. Took WAY too long to get things set up, and then still didn’t care about (m)any of the cannon-fodder once the Xenomorphs started picking them off. It did look pretty, so there’s that. It was EXTREMELY cynical, though. David/Walter was the standout. (The androids really are some of the most interesting things about the Alien universe. Or at least the Prometheus-based part.)
57. Trapped – a Hindi film about a young man who goes to rent an apartment in a high-rise building, and winds up locking himself in there. Some of it stretched credibility (nobody saw the fire!?!?) but it was overall VERY engaging.
58. Snatched – I had low expectations for this, they weren’t met. (sorry, Amy Schumer & Goldie Hawn. This was just garbage.)
59. Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2: It was just a tad overlong, and some of the charm from the first one has faded a bit, but overall, these wacky a-holes are still a lot of fun to hang out with.
60. Cult of Chucky – blah. Too cynical for a Chucky movie, really. And I’m reminded of a Marilyn Manson quote – “Without the threat of death there’s no reason to live at all”. Chucky has at this point basically obtained immortality – you can’t beat him, there’s no real point in trying. Which makes his story boring.
61. A Ghost Story – uggggggggh. I watched this movie at 2x speed, and it’s only 92 minutes long, and EVEN THEN, there were scenes that dragged (the pumpkin pie scene is seriously like 10 minutes long). “Get on with it” was probably uttered by me a few times. And the time loop ending, while sorta cool …didn’t really fit with the rest of the movie. Disappointing.
62. Blood Father – It’s Mel Gibson, so, you know, there’s that baggage. But, if you’re willing to overlook that, this was a well-acted fun diversion. It’s got William H. Macy in it, too, so there’s another plus. Mel plays an ex-con who has a teenage daughter, Lydia, who has gotten herself into a buttload of trouble – her boyfriend has connections with the Mexican cartel. When she ends up shooting him during a house robbery, she goes on the run, turning to her estranged dad to help her out.
63. Timecrimes – Tight little sci-fi thriller about a guy named Hector who does a little time travel while trying to avoid getting killed by a mysterious guy in the woods. Could’ve done with a smidge less misogynistic overtones, though.
64. 47 Meters Down – Mandy Moore, Claire Holt, and sharks. Perfectly acceptable (and forgettable) popcorn flick, which did have some moments of true panic-inducing tension.
65. Hercules in New York – Ahnuld’s first movie. For the most part, this is a brainless comedy that doesn’t take itself too seriously and while not anything outstanding, is pretty fun. I actually laughed out loud a few times!
66. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – rewatch; ah, they were all so young.
67. Spider-Man Homecoming – tons of fun! I guess the 6^th time is the  charm, huh? Michael Keaton as the Vulture was a great villain. His backstory was believable and he was sympathetic – and menacing! And Peter Parker’s friends and love interests were diverse and realistic and funny and this was just an all-around great superhero movie.
68. Bone Tomahawk – it’s like Predator, but set in the wild west!
69. Kong Skull Island – there were a ton of “this is only here to look cool” shots, but, damn, did they look cool.
70. War for the Planet of the Apes – This whole trilogy was great, but I felt like the final five or ten minutes of this one felt like a bit of a letdown. I’m not sure how I was expecting it to wrap up differently, but somehow it was just…slightly disappointing. Overall, though, each of the new Planet of the Apes movies has been fantastic. Maybe I was just sad that there (probably) won’t be another one.
71. It Comes at Night – tense. And sad. But very compelling.
72. Kill List – holy fuck, that ending is going to stay with me for a while. This was all about a retired hitman named Jay with a young wife & son who has fallen on hard times. His partner and best friend, Gal, comes to him offering a job of 3 individuals to take care of. When Jay agrees to do it, the contract is signed in blood (the client slashes his hand with a knife). Things get increasingly weird and dark from there.
73. Sightseers – dark comedy about a sheltered woman going on a road trip with her new boyfriend, committing murders along the way, as one does.Sort of like if Natural Born Killers were done with ...just ordinary boring people.
74. The Wizard of Oz – this is a pretty obscure musical from 1939, not a lot of people have heard of it, which is surprising, because it’s really really good!
75. The Proposition – Excellent bloody brutal western set in Australia in the 1800s.
76. Die Hard – this was like Die Hard in a corporate skyscraper. (hahaha)  Anyway, yeah, fantastic action flick. Alan Rickman was amazing, and John McClane was relatively human and normal, which made the movie all that much better. In the  later sequels, he was just this unstoppable macho blah, but here there were moments he was scared, he got hurt, he was someone you could root for and care about. Plus,  this had some great iconic lines.
77. Logan Lucky – fun heist movie
78. 31 – I watched this Rob Zombie movie in hopes that it would get better, or that there was some point to it all. It didn’t, and there wasn’t.
79. The Muppet Christmas Carol – this was there. Maybe I’ve become a heartless bastard, but I feel like I’ve outgrown the Muppets. This just didn’t make me feel anything. 
80. Bright -  the pacing and editing were weird with this. As was a lot of the characterization. And the message just seemed to be, "Prejudice is bad, but we all have it". I guess. Some of the action was cool, and *some* of the world building worked - if there were better writers working with this universe, I could see myself checking out a sequel.

So, there's that.
I also collected spare change this year - I already counted it up - and made it an episode of OK What Now.

In 2018, I really want to write more, to read more, to watch more movies and play more games. I want to get out of the bit of a rut that I've found myself in, and do more things that make me feel more alive (and document them so as to be able to remember them years later) I totally plan on blogging more (both this blog and my 'super secret writing' one), and we also have plans as a family to incorporate more game and movie nights. I think 2018 is going to be a really good year.

still not worth it

every three or four months, it seems, Pumpkin Spice will say or do something so monumentally stupid that gives me an absolute gut-busting laugh. ("Don't look!" was the one for today, "I'll see you in court!" was the last one I recall). And while the laughter is great for the five or ten minutes that it lasts, it's definitely NOT worth all the ongoing horror and dread and despair and grief and anguish that he causes the rest of the time.

But, when they make the movie(s) ten years from now, at least it will give them some much-needed comedic breaks amidst all the drama.

Jeff rolled a one, didn't he?

Because, man, it certainly does feel like we're in the darkest timeline. Maybe there's a way to get into one of the other ones.

Speaking of Community... the hashtag/phrase ended with "...and a movie". Any word on that? Because, while the series was uneven, it did have a LOT of good stuff in it, and lord knows we could use more good stuff right about now.

Clark Kent, man of secrets

There should be a story where not only is Kal-El having to pose as Clark Kent, and keep his Superman identity a secret, but he's also a werewolf, and has to hide that, too. (Something tells me that this may have been an episode of Smallville already...)

cpr lizards, hipster beards and keyboard wwwwwwoeeeeeeeees

First, hey, news, I think you need more stories like this one:
http://news3lv.com/news/local/summerlin-mother-uses-cpr-to-save-lizard-found-in-pool

(a woman found a dead lizard in her pool, and used cpr chest compressions to bring it back to life. Awesome.)

Second, I've been growing my beard lately, and it's getting to the 'hipster' looking stage, I think. Or maybe 'late 1870s' look. I dunno. I'm both enthralled with it and annoyed by it, so I don't know how much longer I'll keep it going. There are more and more gray hairs in it each day, too. (Not an overwhelming majority, or even near a majority at all. They're more like... people who voted 4th party. They're there, mixed in among the population, but you have to really be looking out for them.) And, yeah, I'm comparing my beard hair color to political affiliations. Welcome to my brain.

Lastly, I'm currently using the laptop, because the main computer is both really laggy, AND the keyboard is ....less than ideal. The following keys on it are 'sticky', where they either don't type when you first push them, or they get stuck and you therefore get multiples of them in a row:
1, e, w

The workaround for the 1 key isn't too bad - you just have to use the 10-key numbers instead. (Although there's no workaround for exclamation points. So when those get used, you get REALLY excited. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

June July and August

This month seriously disappeared.
Anyway. I never posted the June one second everyday video, and now I have  July's as well, so two videos for the price of one.
And for August, I'll continue to post vlogs on youtube W, T, and F; but I also want to get back in the habit of blog-blogging, so I hope to do more of that, as well. (Although with the state this computer is currently in...)

But that's future stuff. Here's past documentation:

June:

1 - practicing for my vlog that premeried on my bday
2 - icee (they were 25 cents that day)
3 - popcorn during movie night
4 - Abed
5 - the first day the new gates at work were operational
6 - trip to the mailbox
7 - Apple Jacks
8 - Comey testifies
9 - New car
10 - Taco bell
11 - Bowser
12 - Preshow Man
13 - Birthday pizzas
14 - Birthday pepsis
15 - uscan
16 - bird near me at the bus stop
17 -(fake) giant spider on the grill of some pickup truck
18 - prepping for water balloon fights
19 - Birthday lunch with Marta
20 - it was freaking hot that day (119, which I believe tied the record)
21 - final listen to the van's radio
22 - Ori! (when out of ideas, film the dog)
23 - um. I honestly don't know. I think I was checking the levels of a fluid in the car.
24 - there's a lizard on our tree! (it's hard to see, in the second that the video goes by, but it's there. Also, you can hear our neighbors dog bark in the background)
25 - washing dishes
26 - chili dogs
27 - outside courtyard at work
28 - fidget spinner
29 - new pool!
30 - Employee of the quarter mountain dew container.

And July ...

1 - strawberry sundae from DQ
2 - dead bee (taken from out of the pool)
3 - Employee of the Quarter reserved parking spot
4 - fireworks
5 - Silas explaining what bees look like via minecraft
6 - reading issue 8 (I think) of Morning Glories. (Still no idea what the hell is happening in that series, though)
7 - BFFs
8 - Bounce Off
9 - lunch with my dad, stepmom, stepsister and her family
10 - Smith's parking lot
11 - slurpees! (They were free that day)
12 - Ori (when out of ideas, film the dog)
13 - the cow says...
14 - trying out Click List
15 - balloon fight
16 - pool
17 - rained pretty heavy that day. Flooded drainage ditches as a result
18 - one of the feral cats that hang out near my work
19 - sliding big gulp cup
20 - OJ
21 - the day the car's mileage hit 111111
22 - got a haircut
23 - downtown summerlin fountain
24 - giant grasshopper was RIGHT outside the door when I left for work that day
25 - Silas & Irina at our grassy area playing tag
26 - Chester
27 - JJ's birthday
28 - Fitz & The Tantrums (I can make your hands clap)
29 - 1, 2, 3, Switch
30 - Ori "connecting to the internet"
31 - hot dog

three times weekly, holy cow

so, I went and started a vlog on youtube a couple weeks ago. (on my birthday, actually)
It's nothing exciting or monumental, but, hey, it's there. So, if you're interested - most of the videos are pretty short, so there's not a huge time investment - check it out.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFbSuOsNfz_XFSMvw1_MPDA

I put up new content Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.

Things I've discovered since doing this:

I *really* dislike my voice. And appearance.
I've got ideas for recurring ideas/themes; putting them into practice is way different than just having the ideas, though.
I do this 'blink' thing quite a bit. I've become aware of it, and I can often feel myself doing it when I talk to people in real life, and I hate it. It's irritating. I've also become hyperaware of how I sound when I'm talking to people; not a fan of that, either.
The videos with my kids are the best ones, I think.

May 1 sec every day video

How'd it get to be June already?? Sheesh.

Anyway, another month down means that it's time for another 1 second everyday video...

And what these days were:

1) JJ's salad.
2) Marcus being amazed by a magic trick (I don't know how it was done either)
3) Peter Pan dry run (I may have the terminology wrong. It was basically the play being put on with no audience.)
4) Vader's "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (although I don't think I caught the sound. Imagine my dismay.)
5) Hollywood Blvd.
6) Legoland (that's Steph & Irina on a ride where you pull yourself up high, then drop)
7) Bunny at Balboa Park
8) walking to the corner market
9) Freakazoid!
10) walking around the UNLV campus
11) Irina in her GS outfit
12) Abed
13) Saren's Starbucks gold card
14) nerf gun battle
15) driving Saren's car
16) I got rearended by this woman - no damage to our van, but her car got the fender cracked
17) Silas turns 8
18) the whole enchilada. (It was super good, too)
19) my blood pressure results
20) dropping a bouncy ball down the stairs
21) turtle peep eating
22) homemade pizza (it was super good, too)
23) giant hand art sculpture thing
24) 22 year workiversary cake
25) Red Nose day
26) Ori
27) dead spider at the bottom of our steps
28) Walmart was all out of the water balloons i wanted to get
29) grilling burgers (they were super good, too)
30) Steph driving as Toadette on Mario Kart 8 Deluxe
31) Silas made a homemade bridge and was driving his cars off of it.

And there we go.

April 1 second everyday

I was going to blog yesterday, but it would have been all about Trump, and who wants to read about that clown?
Anyway, April's done, and so it's time for the 30 second compilation of one second videos from the past month. (Except that I missed a day this month, so there's an extra second of your lives you get to keep. You're welcome.)

Here's the video:

and here's the breakdown:

1. A... flower?
2. Ori eating (when in doubt of what to film, film Ori!)
3. Heavy rains that day, I filmed water pouring in the parking lot at work.
4.
5. Master Control
6. Ori doing tricks
7. Irina riding her bike
8. Angel
9. Grabbing books from the library
10. Turtle peep!
11. Filling up the sink to wash dishes
12. Giant rabbit display at Smith's (for Easter)
13. A watched pot of water (boiling)
14. Dyeing Easter eggs
15. Annual Valley of Fire Easter thing
16. Easter baskets
17. Irina dancing in the driveway
18. Ori in her crate
19. Baby Groot
20. It was a beautiful day outside, I went out and hung out in the courtyard at work for a bit.
21. William Shatner on Match Game 74. (He's giving the answer of Tiger; I forget what the question was)
22. The Phenomenauts performing at the Science March (the Vegas edition was more of a rally, not a march, but, whatev.)
23. Black widow
24. Skeeball at Incredible John's Pizza
25. Giant flashlight at UNLV (well, Giant flashlight sculpture)
26. WHOLE lot of work to be done that day
27. My office is filled with nerdy things. Like Ren parachuting from the ceiling.
28. Opening night of Peter Pan. The actors on stage were out there before the show telling us we couldn't record the show. (To be fair, I didn't record the show, I recorded them saying we couldn't.)
29. It's STILL true, 100 days later. (Also, what is taking so long??)
30. Playing with homemade slime.

March 1 second (mostly) everyday

And another month down where I didn't blog anything OTHER than this. Well, there's always next month....

Here's March. (with the exception of March 5th, which slipped past me without taking a video, sadly.)

And what these are:

March...
1st - Playing in the ocean
2nd - Walking Ori
3rd - Nintendo Switch arrived!
4th - pizza in the fridge
5th - n/a
6th - first day back at work after vacation
7th - cookies
8th - walking past the cemetary on the way in to work
9th - me getting punched in front of the "selfie wall". (My work set up a selfie wall [two words that do not belong near each other], and I announced that if I saw anyone taking a selfie in front of it, that I would punch them. I then figured that me getting punched while taking a selfie would be a great 1second video.)
10th - Sarne fighting Windblight Ganon
11th - Harper watering our half dead tree in the backyard
12th - jigsaw puzzle of a dog wearing sunglasses
13th - Silas & Chelsea playing 1-2-Switch at work
14th - Pi Day Pie
15th - we bought lightbulbs at Target. (We got the wrong size, like we always do, and I had to exchange them later)
16th - the van's mileage hit 140,000 miles that day
17th - St. Patrick's Day... green bananas.
18th - Ori closeup
19th - Turtle peep, turtle peep, looking for food, what are ya gonna do tomorrow??
20th - my leprechaun greeting
21st - Marcus singing "Hello"
22nd - transferring work files at home
23rd - like 7 new grey beard hairs appeared overnight!!
24th - chicken stir fry
25th - very sad. My Jelli mug got cracked, and had to be thrown away. :(
26th - Ori cloesup (again!)
27th - driving past the prison
28th - Joel playing Crossword Quiz
29th - "Come on in, guys!" (actually, i think this was "once again, immunity is back up for grabs." the audio didn't really come through)
30th - We had a major windstorm blow through this day. Gusts of wind up to 60 (and in some parts of town, reportedly 84!!) mph. It sounded like a freaking hurricane in our backyard.
31st - Saren eating some ice cream while we wait for our Costco pizza to be ready.

February 1se

Took a little longer than expected, but the February 1 second every day video is up.

Here's how it breaks down:
1 - Irina's birthday!
2- Groundhog Day
3 - Angel closeup
4- Showing off my haircut
5- Harper driving around the neighborhood. The stop sign we passed has graffiti on it that makes it read: Don't STOP Believin'
6 - Magazine rack at Target. I don't know who set it up that way (with the Trump cover right between two Hitlers) but it amused me.
7 - Walking with Silas & Irina down to the corner market
8 - The moon
9 - Sitting at an intersection while driving
10- Irina reading
11 - Me signing "Man in the Mirror" while looking in the mirror
12 - Pre-play audience.
13 - It was like 11:40 at night, and I hadn't made a video of the day, so I just recorded my super tired self getting ready to go to bed
14 - A plant that Saren brought home.
15 - Riding the bus
16 - "What's in the baaaawwwkkkssss?!!?" (from the movie Se7en)
17 - Silas jumping down the stairs
18 - Driving in the rain
19 - Gilmore Girls
20 - A bunch of trash. On presidents day. Because, you know.
21 - Ori sneezing
22 - stray dog was found near our work, he was hanging out in the office with us while we found him a home
23 - Going up the stairs
24 - Grabbing a pepsi out of the fridge
25 - Showing off Harper's haircut
26 - Bearded dragon lizard at Petsmart
27 - Hotel room
28 - The Disneyland Main Street Electrical Parade!

January 1 sec everyday

I'm sure eventually I'll blog something other than these, but in the meantime, here's the  1 second everyday video for January of 2017...

and how it all breaks down...

1. Smashing gingerbread houses in the driveway
2. Ori barking
3. Perusing the graphic novel section of the library
4. Driving down the freeway (Steph was driving, I was in the passenger seat)
5. Abed
6. Super early bus stop morning selfie
7. Silas playing Wii Sports Resort
8. Pickup truck at a stop had a cage full of goats in the back
9. Silas and Irina playing boxing on Wii Sports
10. Rainbow company crowd
11. Purchasing (among other things) Crystal Pepsi
12. Sweet Tomatoes
13. Hatchimal
14. Silas & Irina getting ready to go up to Utah for the weekend
15. Taking Ori on a walk
16. Filling up a cup of Dr Pepper at In-n-Out
17. Marcus & Joel (coworkers) doing synchronized counter pushups
18. Robertos tacos (99cents every Wednesday, yo)
19. Visiting with a former coworker, Tony edition.
20. ugh. sorry. (Still wish we had had the guts to put that over the air.)
21. lifting weights
22. rainy day backyard
23. picking out my outfit for the next day
24. video of Spanish class assignment
25. Visiting with a former coworker, Ian edition.
26. Silas playing a boardgame he created
27. Janice's last day at work
28. dominos
29. typing up English assignment
30. Rubios salsa
31. It really does. (I do say this every year at this time... and every year it's true.)

December 2016 1se

Here's the 1 second everyday video for the last month of 2016:

And, taking a page from Steph, here's how the videos breakdown:

1. Xmas decorations put up in the house.
2. Me combing my hair out.
3. Ori
4. Silas & Irina after the Seussical show
5. Jury duty day 1 (outside the courthouse)
6. Jury duty day 2 (inside the courthouse, on the 17th floor)
7. First day of wearing the Santa hat
8. Kids watching A Christmas Story
9. Driving around looking at xmas lights
10. At Seussical, a few of the things to be auctioned off.
11. At Seussical, as the crew was doing strike
12. Spaghetti dinner that I overcooked.
13. homemade ornaments
14. gingerbread houses
15. the day we put up our tree
16. Silas & Irina making a youtube video
17. lunch with my sister and Sherry
18. holiday party, with the kids unwrapping the plastic wrap ball of candy
19. Abed
20. pizza at work
21. candelight dinner in celebration of the solstice
22. coworkers posing in the lobby
23. buying groceries??
24. opening pjs on xmas eve
25. xmas day!
26. playing zombie dice
27. being shot at with dart guns
28. buying more groceries (and the checkout machine telling me to not forget my change)
29. recycling the xmas tree
30. rainbow outside of work
31. all the spare change I found over the year (grand total of 4.13)

2016 movies

In 2015 I watched 68 movies - this year I clocked in with 64 (and a mini-series documentary). We'll see how 2017 turns out.

 1)      San Andreas – it wasn’t 2 hours of The Rock punching an earthquake, which is what I wanted, but it was close enough, I guess.

2)      Awaken  - I figured I’d start watching random Netflix movies, alphabetically. This was the “A” title, and it was pretty dumb. About a group of people who kidnap random strangers and place them on a deserted island so that they can be harvested for their organs for dying rich people. Just a mindless D-grade action flick. Darryl Hannah was in it, though. And Edward Furlong. Not that either of them made it any better.

3)      Making a Murderer – not a ‘movie’, per se, but figured this was worth a mention. This was a 10 hour documentary series about Steven Avery (and his family), a guy who lives in Wisconsin, who in 1985 was falsely arrested for a sexual assault. 18 years later, DNA evidence proving he didn’t commit the crime set him free. He then decided to sue the police department for millions. While that was going into effect…Steven Avery was arrested for the murder of a local woman. The whole series was pro-Avery, so was a little frustrating in not giving the whole story. However, the takeaway from the whole thing is that this man (and his nephew) most certainly DID NOT get a fair trial.  So many instances of straight up corruption and just absolute sickening what was done to Steven’s nephew, Brendan.  The fact that his (obviously) coerced confession was sufficient enough to grant him a conviction is chilling to think about.

4)      AntMan – This was sort of the first Iron Man movie …with ants. And I’m fine with that. So much fun.

5)      Justice League: Gods and Monsters – Animated flick about an alternate universe wherein the Justice League (Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman) are much much more brutal than what we are used to. It was mildly entertaining, but in the end, since it wasn’t “our” world, it was hard to really care about the story. Definitely the most violent of the Warner Bros animation movies I’ve seen.

6)      Seeking a Friend for the End of the World – This was really quite good. A comedy/drama about an asteroid on the way to earth, and how people deal with it. Steve Carrell and Kiera Knightley were great, and it had a good mix of comedy and pathos. Nice little gem.

7)      Final Girl – Horrible. The premise, while simple, could have worked, but the execution was …just plain bad. A group of college frat boys have a club where they pick up random girls, take them to the woods, and then “hunt” them. Abigail Breslin stars as Veronica, who was trained to fight by a guy who wanted revenge since they killed his wife and daughter. She then becomes the bait, and when they go to the woods, she hunts and kills them. Waste of time.

8)      The Final Girls – Not a sequel to Final Girl. Instead, this was a fun ‘horror’ movie that was in the vein of Cabin in the Woods and Tucker & Dale vs. Evil. Before Max’s mother died in a car accident, she was an actress, whose biggest claim to fame was being in the cult classic “Camp Bloodbath” from the 80s. Due to magic, at a screening of the film, Max and her friends wind up IN the movie as it’s taking place. Max gets to reunite with her mom, and lots of lampshade hanging occurs with regard to slasher-flicks. Pretty clever, and an enjoyable time.

9)      Cooties – A more or less by-the-numbers zombie flick, where the ‘twist’ is that all of the infected are children at a school. The teachers are the survivors. It’s neither as funny nor as clever as it thinks it is, sadly. I don’t know how it could have been improved, but I was disappointed in what was presented, which is sad, because the cast was composed of people I like in other things: Elijah Wood, Riann Wilson (Dwight from The Office), Jack McBrayer (Kenneth from 30 Rock), and Jorge Garcia (Hugo from Lost) were all in this, so it seems like it *should* have been better. There were a few lines that made me laugh, but overall this was just sort of dull.

10)  Minions – This was okay, had a few good laughs.

11)  Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse – sigh. I think I’m going to give up on comedy-horror for a while, it’s been really difficult to find anything worth watching. Out of the trio of scouts, I loathed one of them and found the other two difficult to be sympathetic toward. I don’t think it was the intention of the filmmakers to be rooting for the zombies, but I was.

12)  The Martian -  Very faithful adaptation of the book (at least as far as I can remember), and the book was a fun popcorn read, so this was a fun popcorn flick.

13)  The World’s End – This should have worked – I greatly enjoyed Shaun of the Dead and was mostly amused by Hot Fuzz – but it somehow didn’t quite gel for me. I loved the seriousness of the themes of growing older and friendship and living up to one’s potential (or not!) and I kinda liked the sci-fi-ness of the Blanks, and I would think that combining the two would result in just my sort of movie (I am a huge sucker for genre-blending), but, again, it fell a little short. Maybe I should give it a rewatch at some point to see if it improves my outlook.

14)  The Secret Life of Walter Mitty – a perfectly “okay” movie. Ben Stiller stars as Walter Mitty, who has a very active imagination, but not a very active real life. When his job at Life Magazine is put in jeopardy, he finally gets active in order to track down an elusive final cover photo. This had moments that were great. For the most part, though it was just kinda there. Nothing bad, but nothing really stood out, either.

15)  This is 40 – not a lot of plot, but that’s okay, because the jokes were nonstop, and very very funny.

16)  Wet Hot American Summer – I’d avoided this for a long time, mostly because I thought it was a corny 80s teen movie. Turns out it was a hilarious spoof of corny 80s teen movies! Not every joke landed, but enough of them did to make this absolutely work for me. Good times.

17)  American Ultra – This was sort of a more adult version of the show “Chuck”.  Jesse Eisenberg was Mike, a stoner dude who has anxiety attacks anytime he tries to leave his home town. Turns out he’s actually part of a CIA project to develop a superweapon. We’ve seen this story plenty of times, so don’t expect anything truly unpredictable, but it was still a perfectly enjoyable film.

18)  People Places Things – this was a great rom-com. Jemaine Clement (from Flight of the Conchords) stars as Will, a graphic novelist & art teacher who separates from his wife (Stephanie Allynne). The movie focuses on Will’s life as he tries to move on.  Absolutely a great undiscovered gem.

19)  Goodnight Mommy – a German thriller/horror movie that suckered me in with a creepy trailer. It’s about a single mother of twin boys who recently had reconstructive surgery on her face. The trailer made it seem like it was going to focus on whether the woman under the bandages is actually still the boys’ mom. Instead, it focused on the boys, and the …reveal (calling it a “twist” is simply an insult to actual twist endings) which was telegraphed from literally the first two minutes.  Sadly, a mediocre movie that didn’t live up to its promise.

20)  Pee Wee’s Big Holiday – It was great to have a new Pee Wee movie! This didn’t live up to Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, but it was absolutely in the same vein, and well worth the time.  Now let me let you let me go. LATTIHTBG. Heheheh.

21)  Flypaper – two gangs of bank robbers – one a trio of professionals, one a pair of bumbling morons – decide to rob the same bank  at the same time. They opt to work together – grudgingly. (The pros are after the vault money, the amateurs want the ATM cash) The hostages, however, wind up throwing monkey wrenches into both plans. This wasn’t a very good movie, but it had potential. It’s just that the ‘jokes’ were for the most part, very lame, and the’ twists’ were telegraphed very early. Pretty forgettable.

22)  Trainwreck – I had high hopes for this, but sadly they weren’t really met. A large percentage of the jokes just didn’t work for me, which is extra disappointing, considering how much I like Amy Schumer and Bill Hader in other things that I’ve seen them in. Oddly, it seemed that a lot of the second-tier characters were a lot funnier than the leads. John Cena was hilarious, Lebron James was too. And Amy’s boss. (None of Amy’s coworkers were that funny) Jokes aside, the movie itself was more or less just a regular romantic comedy (although a bit long. It easily could have been 20 or 30 minutes shorter). It wasn’t a bad movie, just not as funny/compelling as I had hoped.

23)  The Hunger Games –Mockingjay part 2 – More or less by the numbers YA adaptation. The pacing was kinda weird in bits, scenes seemed to jump from one thing to another pretty quickly, which is weird, since they split this into two movies to begin with. It seemed that this would have been somewhat confusing for anyone who had not read the books.  Certain scenes were very well done, though.

24)  Hush – thriller about a deaf woman who lives alone in the woods and is terrorized by a killer in a mask.  Was okay.

25)  The Gift – Simon and his wife get stalked by a ‘weirdo’ from Simon’s past. Turns out there’s a reason behind the weirdo’s weirdness.  Was better than expected (mostly due to the acting).

26)  The Hateful Eight – Tarantino movies are always watchable, if nothing else. I don’t think I actually *liked* this movie, but I’m not sure if you’re meant to.

27)  Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens – Yeah, it was basically a retelling of the original Star Wars, but I’m more than okay with that. This was what a Star Wars movie should be.

28)  Knock Knock –Keanu Reeves is a middle-aged dad home alone while his wife & kids are out at a beach. Two young women show up on his doorstep in the pouring rain. He lets them in and calls them an Uber driver. They have 45 minutes until the ride gets there. They begin to seduce him. This was pure cinematic fast food. Mildly enjoyable, but not really good for you. The first half of the movie was actually pretty tense, but got more and more ridiculous as it went on.

29)  Z for Zachariah – post apocalyptic love triangle! Good acting, not much story. It’s based on a YA novel, apparently. Maybe I’ll seek that out and read it.

30)  The Revenant – visually, it was beautiful. Mostly, it made me extremely relieved that I live in modern times.

31)  Deadpool – Somewhat funny (loved Colossus, most of the meta-jokes, and the 4^th wall breaking; could have done with less of the ‘shocking to be shocking’ sex jokes (or if they’d been funnier, maybe?) but overall, it was pretty enjoyable.

32)  The Witch – extremely creepy and sad. Watching this Colonial family tear itself apart was heartbreaking and compelling at the same time. And the ending …absolutely chilling.

33)  Krampus – uneven, but decent. The monsters were really  creepy looking. The ending was kinda meh.

34)  Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory – WE are the music makers, and WE are the dreamers of dreams. Willy Wonka is the best. Good day, sir!

35)  Zootopia -  The sloths were very funny. Visually this was amazing, and the world was absolutely fully developed, and the characters were too. Overall, pretty great. I did find it seemed to be a little bit long, but that might have been due to me being tired after a very long day when we were watching it.

36)  Zoolander 2 – Sufficiently funny. We probably didn’t NEED a sequel to Zoolander, but since we got one anyway, I’m glad that it wasn’t completely awful, like, say, the Dumb and Dumber one was. Sure, there were cringey parts, but there were also enough bits that made me laugh out loud. And, you know, if Stiller and Owen want to make a third Zoolander in another 15 years, I’d probably be down with that, too.

37)  Whiskey Tango Foxtrot – not a laugh riot, and not a great drama, a weird mixture of the two, and it basically worked. Tina Fey stars in the true story of Kim Baker, a reporter from New York who gets sent to Afghanistan in 2003 to cover the ongoing mess that is there. Personal growth and culture clash ensue.

38)  The Boy – slow burn character study of a 9 year old future sociopath. It was slow, and a little bit predictable (not the least bit helped by the cover of the dvd giving away the climax/ending), but still quite compelling. There were a few parts where Ted (the 9 year old boy) was being attacked/hurt by others that were extremely hard to watch, even knowing it was fake. Supposedly this is the first in a planned trilogy, following Ted as he grows up. I’d be down to see the other movies, if they’re as intriguing as this one was.

39)  Midnight Special – bleh. I like Michael Shannon but he’s not enough to save this dreck. (Oh, Kirsten Dunst was in this, too, although she’s given even less to do [and the movie doesn’t bother to pass the BEchdel test. Sigh.]) It starts compelling – a dad and his friend are on the run from a religious cult and the government because they’ve kidnapped the dad’s son. The boy has powers, and needs to get to a location across the country by a certain date. Unfortunately, there’s too much ambiguity and unanswered questions about the nature of the boy’s powers, and, none of the family members have any chemistry with one another. Plus, there was never any doubt that the boy would make it to where he was going. The whole movie felt like a really cool first or second draft, but needed to be polished up some more to be really remarkable. 

40)  The Angry Birds Movie – mildly better than I had anticipated. Had a few lines that made me chuckle (although writing this the day after viewing it, I don’t remember any of them…).

41)  The Lobster – really weird. I don’t know if I liked it or not, although I am leaning towards not.

42)  The Boy – a different “the Boy” than #38. This one was about an American nanny (Lauren Cohen who plays Maggie on The Walking Dead) who is hired by rich eccentric English folks to watch their “boy”, Brahms. Turns out that Brahms is actually a porcelain doll that they treat as though is living. There is backstory, and twists, and jumpscares, and it’s all very PG-13. Like most “horror” movies, it feels like it potentially could have been very creepy, but falls short. Oh well.

43)  Air – meh. Daryll from Walking Dead, and Djimon Hounsou are in a bunker at the end of the world, watching over a bunch of cryogenically (sorta) sleeping people who are humanity’s chance at rebuilding. The acting was decent, but the plot and writing… not so much. Maybe would have worked as a short story in print, but as a film was a waste of time.

44)  Keanu – Key and Peele make a movie about a couple of nerds who get sucked into the gang-world in search of the world’s cutest kitten. Not all the jokes worked (most of them, actually felt clichéd) but it was still a very fun enjoyable movie.

45)  Popstar Never Stop Never Stopping – a mockumentary focusing on Conner 4Real (Andy Samberg), former member of the mega-successful boy band/rap group The Style Boyz.  This was much funnier than I was expecting it to be.

46)  Money Monster – a deranged man loses his life savings in a stock market ‘glitch’ after listening to the advice of George Clooney (who is playing a host of a financial cable show). He takes Clooney (and  the staff of the show) hostage while they are live on air. A by-the-numbers conspiracy eventually comes to light. This was okay, but nothing memorable or outstanding.

47)  Captain America: Civil War – blah de blah, more superheroes. I think I might be getting burned out on Marvel flicks. (Although, admittedly, the airport fight was pretty spectacular).

48)  Extinction – decent little zombie flick with Matthew Fox. It was okay. Nothing great, but I’ve seen way worse. The last third kinda devolved into typical shoot ‘em up nonsense, but I was involved enough to finish watching it.

49)  10 Cloverfield Lane – creepy John Goodman, nice ambiguity for the first 2/3rds of the movie about what was REALLY going on, and the protagonist was a smart, capable, and kick-ass woman. I sort of wish it didn’t have the “cloverfield” tie in, because it didn’t really connect with the previous movie, and I felt like this should have (and could have) stood on its own. Either way, this was a pretty great little thriller.

50)  Swiss Army Man – hmm. Daniel Radcliffe plays a corpse named Manny who befriends Hank, a guy who is stranded on a deserted island and very lonely. Manny and Hank help each other learn to love and accept each other, and life, thru the power of farts and erections. It was definitely an ODD movie. I just don’t know if I really liked it.

51)   Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice – I was expecting to hate this based on all the negative reviews it received; and, sure, it was overlong, incoherent, and very very grimdark… but it kinda worked? I mean, parts of it. Ben Affleck is probably my favorite Batman/Bruce Wayne now. And Henry Cavill looks like Superman, I guess. Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor was just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ both in his performance and in terms of what his character was doing, but whatevs. It was a Zach Snyder murder-verse action superhero flick. You get what you get.

52)   X-Men: Apocalypse – forgettable, enjoyable popcorn.

53)  Ghostbusters (2016) – oh, wow, my childhood wasn’t ruined! Freaking idiots online, I swear. This wasn’t the greatest movie ever made, but, then, neither was the original. (yeah, I said it.) The Fall Out Boy cover of the Ghostbusters theme was horrid, though. And the trailers actually showed the worst jokes of the thing!

54)  The Purge: Election Year – ridiculous, but marginally entertaining. (although the margin is shrinking with each installment)

55)  Kick Ass – Rewatch. Such a great superhero flick.

56)  A Christmas Story – movie equivalent of comfort food.

57)  Star Trek Beyond – latest in the rebooted Star Trek series, and not a bad installment. I think Trek still works best as a tv series, but this felt like an episode of Trek, blown up (heh) to movie-size, so god job, everyone.

58)  Sausage Party – about as funny, shocking, and entertaining as an episode of South Park. (actually the kitchen scene was worth the price of admission [um. Free. Because I got this from the library], so, 3 minutes out of a 90 minute movie…)

59)  Morgan – Morgan is a homegrown half-human, half…something else. The scientists who grew and raised her are being evaluated by corporate. Things go badly. You know, it would be super awesome if movies stopped relying solely on twists. I didn’t even know that there was going to be a twist to this, but once it became evident, it really dampened my enjoyment.

60)  Central Intelligence – The Rock stars as an extremely goofy CIA agent with Kevin Hart as his reluctant sidekick. Not much was funny, but the few bits that were good were due to The Rock. The dude can be pretty hilarious.

61)  Finding Dory – meh. It looked pretty, but this just had a unnecessary sequel feel to it. Sorry, Pixar. You’ve done better in the past.

62)  Goat – Can there be masculinity that ISN’T toxic? God, I hate our species sometimes.

63)  Ordinary World – despite being predictable and not really great, I found this movie about Billie Joe Armstrong (from Green Day) being a dad facing a mid-life crisis kind of adorkable.

64)  Yoga Hosers – so. Un.funny. UGH. This was a ‘sequel’ to Tusk, which I viewed last year, and while that wasn’t great, it was at least unique and bizarre enough to recommend to others. THIS was just garbage. In Tusk Johnny Depp’s  character was the worst thing to happen to it. In this movie, he’s actually the best thing. Hands down, this is the worst movie I’ve seen this year.

65)  Don’t Breathe – quite good. I could have done without the sexual violence scare, but this was a unique thriller that didn’t focus on gore and while it had events happen that stretched believability, it was overall an entertaining little flick.

Upon rereading these, it looks like a LOT of the movies I watched were either bad, or just passable. I need to seek out better films to watch, I think.