Movies seen in 2019

And now it's time for the movie part. Ah, traditions.

Movies seen in 2019

1. The Predator - Quite a bit of a mess, really. It was just enjoyable enough while watching for me to not turn it off, but, man, it straddled that line.
2. Venom - ehhhh. You know, I could probably just re-use the review from The Predator. Quite a bit of a mess, really. It was just enjoyable enough while watching for me to not turn it off, but man, it straddled that line. (Here’s hoping some better movies are in the pipeline for this year…)
3. A Simple Favor - this was like a soap opera, just in movie form. Which was fine. It was twisty, turny, funny at bits, and over the top.
4. Slither - alien slug invasion. Good times.
5. Solo: A Star Wars Story - kinda boring, kinda predictable, about 40 minutes longer than it needed to be. I didn’t DISlike it, but…
6. Widows - a heist movie, but more about political backstabbing and criminal lifestyles in Chicago, as well as a reflection on how those sorts of things impact the people who have to deal with the aftermath of crimes/murders. Quite an enjoyable flick.
7. 21 Jump Street - I went in with pretty low expectations (not sure why, exactly) and was therefore pleasantly surprised. Not all the jokes landed, of course, but there were a higher number that did than I was expecting. Ice Cube’s character was fricking gold, and it is always delightful to see Ellie Kemper.
8. 22 Jump Street - more of the same. Exactly the same. Heh. This was good, too, maybe a little bit better than the original, even. I loved the chain of sequels we can look forward to.
9. Down - made for Hulu movie; a couple of business coworkers get stuck in an elevator on the eve of Valentine’s Day weekend. This was pretty mindless, but I was in the mood for a dumb brainless flick, and it fit that bill.
10. The Spy Who Dumped Me - Kate McKinnon is a national treasure. Not sure that the ‘romance’ angle needed to be included, but mostly this was a lot of fun, even if it wasn’t anything fantastically awesome.
11. Overlord - On the eve of D-Day, some American paratroopers fall behind enemy lines after their plane crashes during a mission consisting of destroying a German radio tower in Cielblanc, a small village near the beaches of Normandy. After reaching their target, the surviving paratroopers realize that, in addition to fighting Nazi troops that patrol the village, they also must fight against ...something else. This was pretty solid, even if the ending was a bit predictable.
12. Bohemian Rhapsody - great music, and a great performance by Rami Malek. Don’t know that it was worthy of a Best Picture nomination, but a pretty solid biopic of Freddie Mercury.
13. Halloween - the 2018 sequel to the 1978 movie with the same name. This wasn’t really that scary, but I enjoyed it quite a bit. Jamie Lee Curtis and Judy Greer are both awesome, and I liked Laurie’s granddaughter too.
14. Kin - a family drama/road trip/sci-fi flick that I enjoyed more than pretty much anyone else on the internet. I liked all the characters, I liked the situations (although the gang breaking into the police station was a bit over the top), I liked how it mixed genres pretty seamlessly. This set up a bigger world, like it was wanting a sequel or a tv show spinoff or something, and I gotta say, I’d be down to watch that. This was a nice little gem, as far as I’m concerned.
15. Infinity Chamber - sci-fi movie that felt somewhat low budget (and maybe it was, I don’t know) all about a man in the future who gets put into an automated prison with an AI computer guard as his only companion. There’s also a sort of memory investigation type machine that allows him (and the prison, presumably?) to go back into the prisoner’s memories and… change things? It felt a little bit like Inception, in that by going into his memories, there was something that was being searched for. Anyway, this was okay for what it was - and the ambiguous ending (which I expected/saw coming) was one that I was more or less okay with. There are worse ways to spend an hour and forty minutes is what I’m saying.
16. Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse - so. Freaking. Good. Easily, hands down, the best movie I’ve seen in 2019 so far. The humor, the action, the animation, the characters, the feelings. I watched this alone, but I'm probably going to rewatch it with the kids, because it’s just that great.
17. Spring Breakers - well, if you wanna see slow motion half-naked young people getting high and James Franco chew scenery for 80 minutes or so, there’s this. Otherwise, there’s no reason to waste your time. And, really, even if you want to see all those things, there are probably much better ways to find them all. This was garbage.
18. Truth or Dare - dumb, but that was pretty much as expected.
19. Pokemon Detective Pikachu - Pika pika! Pikachu. Pika pi? Pikachuuu!!
20. Glass - anticlimactic conclusion of M. Night Shyamalan’s “superhero trilogy” that started with Unbreakable and Split. The pacing of this was atrocious; most, if not all, of the character motivations were questionable; and while James McAvoy’s acting is probably the strong suit in this, even that was tedious and laughable in areas. Ah well. Let’s just hope that he doesn’t extend his ‘verse with more. (Because I’d no doubt watch *those*, too.)
21. Greta - slow burn (nodded off a few times near the beginning) that… doesn’t really have a payoff, unfortunately. I mean, Isabelle Huppert and Chloe Grace Moretz give fantastic performances, but the story is just sort of meh.
22. Happy Death Day 2U - pleasantly surprising! The first movie was enjoyable, and this one was that rare sequel that was just as good as the first. I’d even be open to a third, if they manage to have any compelling ideas to carry it forward. This was much more of a sci-fi/comedy romp than a slasher film, which is fine. I also thought things were going to go in a very different direction at the beginning of the film, but was still rather happy with what I saw.
23. Leprechaun Returns - why??? Why did I waste 93 minutes of my life with this crap? Why did 400+ people get paid to work on this? Blah. So disappointing in so many ways. It’s not like I expected this to be *good*, but it wasn’t even mildly entertaining. It was just BORING. And stupid.
24. Terrifier - It’s the feel good comedy of the year! Okay, no. They got the look and feel of slasher flicks from the 80s down quite well. And Art the Clown is certainly distinctive, both in appearance and as a character.
25. The Mule - Slow burn as the tension ratchets up with each drug run that Earl (Clint Eastwood) makes… and then nothing happens.
26. The Prodigy - had some moments that were creepy.
27. Captain Marvel - the pacing felt a little ...off? Maybe? Or maybe it’s just that I haven’t watched a Marvel Cinematic Universe flick in a while. This was still very very enjoyable, and Brie Lawson is freaking awesome. Actually, I liked ALL the characters in this: Carol, Monica, and LT having their little family… Annette Benning as Mar-Vell/Supreme Intelligence… de-aged Nick Fury… Goose. Everyone rocked. And yes, I teared up during the “standing up” montage.
28. Us - Pure.. Awesome. So god damn creepy, and even though I was expecting the “twist”, I didn’t quite figure it out, and even if I had, it’s STILL a fantastic movie that was extremely entertaining. Haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, even three days later. Jordan Peele makes some damn amazing films. Can’t wait to see what else he’s got up his sleeve. Oh, and Lupita Nyong’o is AMAZING.
29. Aquaman - ugggggh. This was WAY too long. Predictable, unfunny, and worst of all - BORING. Yes, it was colorful and flashy, but compared with the Marvel Universe, this was just garbage.
30. Eden Lake - brutal. A young couple goes on a vacation that goes horribly wrong when a group of teens begin to terrorize them.
31. The House of the Devil - slow burn, where the first almost hour has not a whole lot happen, but once Samantha gets to the babysitting gig, the tension increases exponentially. This looked EXACTLY like a late 70s/early 80s horror flick. I actually thought it WAS made back then, until I looked up later that it was actually made in 2009. Kudos to the production team in that regard. The dumb twist at the end wasn’t necessary at all.
32. The Transfiguration - Milo is an orphaned youth, living with his older brother, Lewis, in New York. Milo is obsessed - OBSESSED - with vampires, and believes he may be one himself. He later meets Sophie, another orphaned outcast, who is living with her abusive grandfather. Milo is an amazing character - one who commits some shocking acts, but also has our sympathies.
33. The Wailing - Korean horror movie that was sort of an examination of evil, but was also a bit confusing as to exactly what was going on. A Japanese man shows up in a small village, and mysterious deaths begin to pile up. Is he a ghost? Is it mushrooms? Are you sure you WANT to find out? Because as answers are provided, it seems the things you do are possibly going to cause MORE problems and pain… This was long, and somewhat confusing, but I couldn’t stop watching it, and I was entertained.
34. Ralph Breaks the Internet - sequel to Wreck It Ralph. I liked this better than the first, although there were pacing problems near the last quarter end. But this was much funnier than the first, and I liked the character arcs more.
35. Night of the Creeps - Thrill me. Heh. This was an entertaining 80s horror flick I’d never seen before.
36. Pet Semetary - the 2019 remake. Sigh. This was almost as if someone took Stephen King’s novel and buried it in a cemetery that brings things back to life, but ...wrong. The first hour or so was just so… PG-13 horror, and all the characters were so blah. Like, the wife’s trauma over her sister? Wouldn’t the couple have, like, TALKED ABOUT THAT ALREADY? If you’ve been together for at least a decade, it seems like something that would’ve been mentioned, and possibly dealt with to some degree. And the whole dead student/dreams/sleepwalking thing going on with the doctor was just boring af. Church (once brought back) was entertaining. And the last twenty/thirty minutes with the brought back child was creepy, but overall this was just ANOTHER remake that just wasn’t needed. Pity.
37. Await Further Instructions - British family gets together for Christmas. There is tension between the family as the eldest son has brought his new girlfriend, Anjii, who is Indian, and his family has some racist tendencies. The following morning, they discover the house has been covered with wires that don’t allow them to escape, the landlines and internet connection are cut off, and the television channels are all broadcasting a message that reads “STAY INDOORS AND AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS”. Paranoia and panic sets in, and escalates as the messages begin to get more and more sinister. The ending was a bit disappointing, but the first 3/4th of this was pretty tense, even if it wasn’t really anything that hasn’t been done before.
38. Avengers: Endgame - oh, man. Goosebumps were had, tears were shed, laughs were ...laughed. And “Oh hell yes!” may have been said a number of times. Time travel is silly and probably doesn’t actually make sense, but the movie is just so epic and fun that it doesn’t matter. So glad that the culmination of ten years of superhero flicks was able to pull off the ending. And, yes, I know the Marvel universe is going to continue on (probably beyond the heat death of the actual universe) but I’m perfectly content with THIS being how it all wrapped up. (Okay, I’m going to watch anything else that is put out, but still. This was just a great great gift to all of us fans.)
39. Shazam! - fun! Not as great as really any of the Marvel movies, but better than Aquaman, or any of the other DC flicks so far. Maybe it helps going in “blind” not knowing any of the comic backstory. Maybe it is just that Zachary Levi is a great comedic actor. I dunno, but this movie, which was essentially “Big”, but with superpowers, was a pretty fun time.
40. Brightburn - decent, but nothing really new was brought to the table. It was just the “what if Superman turned out evil” trope. Set up for a potentially interesting sequel, but they’d have to do something truly unique to make it worthwhile.
41. Escape Room - like Cube, but ..duller? 6 strangers get invites to an escape room that is billed as the most difficult in the country (and has a 10,000 dollar prize if you manage to escape it). The rooms are deadly, and as they attempt to solve each room, they start to get picked off one by one.
42. Ma - Octavia Spencer plays Sue Ann, a lonely middle aged woman who befriends a group of teens by buying them alcohol. Sue Ann gets overly attached to the teenagers, slowly showing her unstable side. This was a bit of a slow burn, and I think there may have been some editing weirdness, and there was no real denouement, but overall this was still a solid little thriller.
43. The Dead Don’t Die - oof. This was PAINFULLY bad. What made it worse was the elements were all there: Bill Murray, Adam Driver, Rosie Perez, Selena Gomez, Tom Waits, Danny Glover, Steve Buscemi, Carol Kane… and about a dozen other celebrities I’m forgetting right now all staring in a meta-aware zombie flick? Should be absolutely golden. Instead, it was absolute shit. So disappointing. :(
44. Men In Black: International - zzzzz. So boring.
45. X-Men Dark Phoenix - the action fights were pretty good. And I kinda mostly like all of this generation of X-men people, but this wasn’t great. Of course, there have been a LOT of horrible X-men movies, and this was marginally better than those, so. [shrug]
46. Yesterday - romcoms aren’t typically my cuppa, but this was better than I had anticipated. I liked the angst that Jack had in trying to take on the weight of the fame of the Beatles, and also how it made him feel like a fraud for passing their creations off as his own. And there was a certain scene that was entirely fanfic (well, even more so than the whole premise of the film), but, oh, man, tears were shed.
47. John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum - while the John Wick universe is a fun one to spend some time in, the returns are starting to diminish. I mean, yeah, I’ll be there for #4, if it happens, but an endgame would be super nice, ya know? There’s only so many headshots you can watch before they start to lose their impact.
48. El Camino: A Breaking Bad movie - it was great to get a nice box of closure for Jesse. And seeing old Breaking Bad faces was just…really pleasant. Man, that show was good. I… wouldn’t object to a Skylar follow up film. Just sayin’. Yeah, Mister White! Sequels!!
49. Aladdin - big dumb goofy fun. Necessary? Nah, probably not, but it was still fun.
50. Anna and the Apocalypse - a zombie movie and a musical mashed together, and it’s set during Christmas? Oh, hell yes. The songs were (mostly) catchy and funny and awesome, too! (“Human Voice” brought me to tears, but, then, I’m an easy mark) This was great.
51. Night of the Living Dead - the 1989 remake, which I’d never seen. Obviously, the original is superior, but this one wasn’t bad, mostly due to the performances and some of the changes to the situation.
52. Midsommar - I went into this knowing that it was from the director of Hereditary, and that, like that film, it was highly disturbing. I liked this a lot, although I think Hereditary bothered me more. This did have creepy moments, and was definitely unique. I loved, too, how, in both of his movies, there is a TON of foreshadowing. I’m most certainly going to check out anything that Ari Aster creates in the future.
53. DanTDM presents The Contest - earlier this year, youtuber DanTDM hosted a videogame competition. They filmed it, and now it’s a movie. The thing being shown in theaters was promoted as being an interactive experience (there’s an app you download beforehand, wherein you choose one of the three teams to join up with)... It made it mildly more entertaining, but overall this was kind of a missed opportunity. There were 10 multiple choice questions displayed during the film, but getting them right or wrong had no impact, and you aren’t even told your score at the end. :( If they had made it *more* interactive - somehow showing what each team had scored, or given you a total at the end, it would have felt more worthwhile. As it was, it was just a less than entertaining videogame competition between three young kids in the UK, overlaid with a “story” about how this was an interdimensional contest held every 1000 years. It was okay as an outing with Silas, but it really could have been a lot cooler than it was.
54. The Killing of a Sacred Deer - hmmm. I think I hated this. And a large part of the reason was the absolute irritating decision that the director seems to have of making everyone talk in monotone. (He did the same thing in The Lobster, another film that I was ambivalent toward) I truly think that if the dialogue had been delivered normally, this *might* have been a better film. Dark as hell, and disturbing, but I just don’t get why everyone has to talk without emotion. That aspect is unnerving - so, bravo, if that’s the intention, but it also made it supremely difficult to get into the movie, too, so a bit of a backfire there.
55. Re-Animator - ehhh. This “classic” horror movie from the 80s has not aged well at all.
56. The Visit - Becca and Tyler go to spend a week with their grandparents, whom they have never met (their mother is estranged from her parents). When they get there, they discover that their grandparents are ...a little off. Tensions increase. This was… okay. Not a great movie, but just… okay.
57. Monsters, Inc. - comfort food. (also, yay, Disney+ !)
58. Stuber - dumb forgettable buddy cop comedy, but it had several moments of laugh out loud bits, which is all I ask for.
59. Spider-Man: Far From Home - while entertaining, the first half of this felt...off, somehow. Like, none of the jokes were landing, and it just seemed like a subpar Marvel movie. The last half clicked pretty well, though. I really liked the overall themes of questioning what you’re seeing.
60. Noelle - take a large serving of Elf, mix with a bit of The Santa Clause, throw in a dash of The Santa Claus Movie, sprinkle on some Prancer, and a pinch of Airplane!, then cook for 1 hr and 40 minutes on Disney+, and voila! Perfect Christmas Fluff!
61. Angel Has Fallen - by the numbers action flick. If you’ve seen an action movie, or a first person shooter video game, or even the trailer for this, you know what’s gonna happen. Still - Morgan Freeman is the president, so I was there for it.
62. Child’s Play - the remake (reimagining, I guess) of the ‘88 horror film. This wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t anything awesome, either, but it had Aubrey Plaza, and Mark Hamill was Chucky’s voice, so it definitely had things going for it.
63. Dora and the Lost City of Gold - a live action teenaged Dora the Explorer. Mildly entertaining, a little longer than it probably needed to be.
64. Home Alone - oh, the 90s.
65. Starfish - indie film that ...was a bit too pretentious and ambiguous for its own good, in my opinion. Aubrey’s friend Grace has recently died, and while mourning, Aubrey breaks into Grace’s apartment. While there she discovers messages that Grace left for her, including a series of mixtapes labeled “THIS MIXTAPE WILL SAVE THE WORLD”. The apocalypse (maybe) takes place while this is going on, and pretty much all of Aubrey’s reality starts collapsing in on itself. This had elements that were pretty nifty (I liked some of the indie songs played, the acting was great, and even a lot of the special effects were fantastic), but overall just didn't work for me.
66. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker - Hm. Steph asked me my thoughts after it was over, and my immediate reaction was, “That was a bit of a mess.” And, yup. It was just a barrage of action sequences (admittedly, some of them were pretty damn awesome) and plot points, without a lot of time for reflection or allowing things to breathe. Character growth was essentially nil, and poor C3P0, man. Palpatine’s “plan” (and headquarters, and dialogue and appearance and heritage) all made zero sense, but ...whatever. It’s Star Wars. The internet warned me that this was bad, but then, the internet said Last Jedi was bad, too, and they were just stupid in that regard. This was...not super great, and could have been much more interesting, but it is what it is.