Boxing (Day)'s been good to me, Howard.

XmasX has been a good one this year. I'm on day 8 of 9 of this time off work, which has been wonderful. (The most wonderful time of the year, as they say) And today we have just been lounging around, fighting paper dragons, snacking here and there, wrecking cars in the kitchen, changing plastic clothing, and basically just having a day of relaxation. Good times.

Doh! Just looking down at the clock, I realized that I could've provided this entry with an alternate Ben Folds title! Oh well.

So, I went out to purchase milk today. And I was somewhat saddened by what I saw. Xmas truly is OVER. It's like, as soon as midnight of the 26th hits, the season is gone and forgotten. Going into the grocery store today, all of the Xmas merchandise that was left was being boxed up and bundled into displays saying "50% off" and "Clearance". And the Xmas aisle was barren. [frown]
In addition, the decorations around the neighborhood seem to have had the Xmas Spirit sucked out of them. I saw an inflatable Santa and inflatable Snowman in one yard ...and they were both deflated. At another house, the giant plastic candy canes were all knocked about (most likely due to the high winds we've had blow through here). And the radio station Lite 100.5, which has been playing nothing but "holiday music" since the day after Thanksgiving, has gone back to it's usual format.

Yup. Time to move on. The week after Xmas is generally when the media starts to do it's Year in Review type of things, so maybe I'll drudge up something similiar myself.

Anywhat, I hope everyone out there had an enjoyable holiday. And since I didn't get a chance to say it before, and it's a tradition (such as it were) in these parts, I'll say it now:
Merry Humbug
and
God Damn Us, Everyone!!

Yeah, write.

My "incredibly insane, not really feasible, but still might be somehow manageable" goal of 2005: To blog 200,005 words.

I figured if thousands of folks can manage to write 50,000 words in 30 days, I can do four times that in 365. I'm totally out of my mind, because it works out to about 547 words a day. Which means if I miss a day (or three) I'll be so far behind that I'll never catch up. But who knows. Maybe I'll surprise myself.

I figure I will also work on my elusive Perth story this year (since it's supposed to take place in 2006), and this goal might be the fire that helps it get going.

And, hey, maybe I'll even write a new Ape10 episode.

In non-blog related news - It's three days til Xmas. Three! All right! Hard to believe that it's (nearly) here already, but that's the typical response this time of year. Disbelief at how fast it's arriving. It's taken a long time to hit me, but it's finally sinking in that Xmas will be here! Hope Santa leaves his mark...

Wish me luck!!

Dear Mr. Bush -

I hear that Tom Ridge, the Director of Homeland Security is stepping down. I also hear that the replacement you had originally chosen - a Mr. Kerik - has stepped down before even taking the position! Man! What a bummer for you.

I think you should really consider hiring me as your new Director of Homeland Security. While I have absolutely zero experience doing that job and whatever it entails, I do believe that I would be a winning candidate. I mean, in the nine years that I have worked for the Company I am with now, there has not been one single terrorist attack. Not one!! (Several threats, but no follow through!)

In addition to that, I also have experience with Microsoft Word, and can type 80 wpm.

Also, I don't know what the pay is for Homeland Security folk (including the Director), but I can guarantee you that I will work for cheaper. Think of all the money you'll be saving! You can put it toward, I don't know, killing people in Iraq or something.

Lastly, I have plenty of references. There are at least ten or two Internet Weirdos that will vouch for my character, and my pals Osama, Mohammed, Jzarkairi, and Dave all think I'm great too.

In conclusion, monkey.

I mean, in conclusion, please consider hiring me for Homeland Security Director. Thank you.

Sincerely,
the P@

Yabba dabba doo.

Oil. Fossil fuels, which are, you know, dead dinosaurs. And the reason you're able to read this. Kinda freaky to think about.

Also freaky to think about (which is why most people don't - I mentioned Peak Oil to a coworker the other day and his response was a "Why haven't I heard about this?") is that it's gonna go away. Relatively soon.

Here. Listen to someone else.

The First U.S. Conference on Peak Oil and Community Solutions

Closing Address by Richard Heinberg, November 14, 2004, Yellow Springs Ohio

First let me take this opportunity to express my great thanks to Pat Murphy, Faith Morgan, and Megan Quinn of Community Service's The Community Solution, who have organized this conference so thoughtfully and successfully.

We have already heard a lot of talk this weekend, and I don't want to tax us further with yet more information. I see in the program that I am supposed to speak on "Hope and Vision: Solutions for Planet Earth." It seems to me that several other presenters have already given us plenty of hope and vision; I am not sure I have much to add in that regard. But perhaps I could take these few minutes to share with you some philosophical thoughts on the big picture – on our plight and our opportunity from a historical perspective.

We are, it seems to me, seeing the beginning of the end of industrial civilization.

That word civilization is a tricky one. We are trained to think of it as connoting everything refined, cultured, and secure. The alternative is barbarism, is it not?

Well, not necessarily – not, at least, from a historical or anthropological perspective.

For several years in the 1990s I was a member of an academic organization called the International Society for the Comparative Study of Civilizations, which, like most such outfits, holds yearly meetings at which professors entertain one another with their latest iterations of sometimes indecipherably subtle theories. The members of ISCSC, or "ISSY" as it is affectionately called, could never quite settle on a definition of the word civilization, but there was general agreement that civilizations are good and very worthy of comparative study. Thus the paper I read one year, "A Primitivist Critique of Civilization," didn't go over particularly well.

But while the word civilization may be hard even for experts to define, its derivation is clear enough; it comes from the Latin "civis," meaning "city." Civilized people are city builders. But this is hardly a complete or even useful definition; there are surely other factors involved, including writing, numeracy, trade, and a system of social classes. According even to these few criteria, there have been about 24 distinct civilizations in human history.

Now, I think we all have a clear sense that our particular civilization is qualitatively different from any other in history – from the Chacoan, for example, or the Mayan, or the Mesopotamian, or the classical Roman or Greek. Ours is the first, and will be the only, fossil-fueled civilization. It is civilization on steroids, civilization on multiple carafes of espresso, civilization on rocket fuel. We supersize it, and want it done yesterday. Consequently, we have chewed up and spit out more of the Earth's other resources more quickly than any group of humans have ever done.

Of course, civilizations produce wonderful cultural artifacts: pyramids, temples, literature, music, and so on. Perhaps because the American oil empire has grown up so quickly and rootlessly, its cultural products – though admittedly impressive in some ways (consider the modern Hollywood blockbuster movie with its multi-million-dollar special effects) – often have an ephemeral quality, a superficiality, and an emotionally manipulative commercial utilitarianism, that makes many of us less than proud.

Our buildings, clothes, utensils, containers, and tools – all aspects of our designed environment – have come to be shaped by fuel-fed machines rather than by human hands. If we can make them faster, or if we can make more of them more cheaply with machines, economics requires that we do so. As a result, we have become starved for beauty – the beauty of nature, and the beauty of careful, skilled, individual hand production rooted in slowly and painstakingly evolved culture that is itself rooted in a particular landscape. Perhaps we suffer unknowingly from an unrecognized mass disease – chronic, pernicious beauty deficiency.

One interesting thing to note about civilizations is that they have a nasty habit of collapsing. Many of them have come to their ends for similar reasons, and often the process of collapse has begun within only years of their reaching their maxima of geographical extent, military power, and accumulated wealth. Clive Ponting, in his marvelous book A Green History of the World, offers a familiar explanation: ancient societies typically drew down their resource base and destroyed their habitat. They cut too many trees, exhausted their topsoil, emptied their wells.
Joseph Tainter, in The Collapse of Complex Societies, provides a more subtle account. He attributes collapse to declining returns on investments in complexity. And he defines collapse itself as a reduction in social complexity. A flattening of the pyramidal class structure, a withdrawal of the imperial overreach, a rupturing of trade relations‹all are symptoms of the involuntary simplification of a society.

Parenthetically, I should note that Tainter, who certainly respects indigenous cultures, is not saying that non-civilized societies aren't complex in terms of their rituals and myths, or in their ecological understandings. He defines complexity in terms of quantifiable social elements like the number of distinctive tools and tool systems, or the number of social classes and occupations present.

Societies become complex in order to solve their problems. We adopted agriculture to make up for the caloric deficit consequent upon our overhunting of megafauna during the late Pleistocene. We irrigated so that we could practice agriculture in seasonally arid places. We built social hierarchies to allocate irrigation allowances from a single river to hundreds or thousands of individual farmers, or to store and distribute grain from seasonally abundant harvests.

At first, such investments in social and technological complexity may yield dizzying returns, and societies that make them often grow quickly and tend to overpower their neighbors. An empire may develop, and may persist for centuries or even millennia.

But the strategy of social complexification imposes hidden costs that gradually build up. The support population eventually tires under the burden.

Once the point of declining returns is reached, almost anything can push a society into decline. Climate change and other environmental disasters sometimes play a role. Typically, civilizations that are near their point of collapse become involved in wars over resources, and they are often plagued by poor leadership that is unable to understand the nature of the challenge or to propose effective responses.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Surely a civilization whose entire basis rests upon the extraction and use – and thus the depletion – of a few nonrenewable resources is the most vulnerable sort of civilization that has ever existed.

Most scientists I know who study these things have come to the conclusion that we are living at the end of the current empire, the first truly global empire in the history of our species. By "end" I don't mean that the whole thing will come crashing down tomorrow or next year. Historically, collapses have usually occurred over a period of decades or centuries. In our case the signs of diminishing returns, and of overextension, are already unmistakable. And, perverse as the comment may seem, I don't think collapse, in this instance, would necessarily be such a bad thing.

As Tainter points out, collapse really just means a return to the normal pattern of human life – life, that is, in tribes or villages; small communities, if you will. Collapse is an economizing process in which a society reverts to a level of complexity that is capable of being sustained.

This is all so easy to understand from an academically detached perspective. But of course we are not Martian anthropologists observing the events through a telescope; we are talking about the circumstances of our lives.
So what do you do if you are living at the end of an empire? I suppose one rational response would be to eat, drink, and be merry. Why not? It sure beats worrying oneself to death over events one can't control, and thus squandering whatever moments of normalcy and chances for happiness may remain before the end comes.

Somehow, I think that you here have other ideas about what to do. I suspect that if you had been passengers on the Titanic, you would not have been drinking yourselves into a stupor at the bar; you'd have been strapping deck chairs together, finding a way to increase the signal strength of the ship's radio, or invent waterproof buoyant suits that could be remanufactured from hemp ropes using equipment commandeered from the ship's machine shop.

I probably can't tell you anything you should be doing that you are not already doing about as well as you can under the circumstances. We all know the drill – grow more of your own food, conserve energy, become active in your local community, learn useful arts and skills, stock up on handtools. In essence: we must plant the seeds for what can and will survive; for a way of life as different from industrialism as the latter is from the medieval period; a way of life whose full flowering we ourselves may never see in our brief lifetimes.

Many of you have been teaching this stuff for decades; you don't need a "how-to" lecture from me.

However it can be helpful to know that there are others thinking the same thoughts, grappling with the same challenges, and finding different but complementary strategies; and it seems to me that this conference has helped immeasurably in this regard. We know each other now, and we know that we are in this together. We know also that we have passed a few recent signal events and are approaching another very important one. It's helpful to compare notes.

Somewhere this weekend I heard the inevitable comment that we are preaching to the choir. That's not the way I look at it. To bend that metaphor, I feel as though in this moment I am addressing a council of preachers.

We have only a dwindling amount of time to build lifeboats – that is, the needed alternative infrastructure. It has been clear for at least 30 years what characteristics this should have – organic, small-scale, local, convivial, cooperative, slower paced, human-oriented rather than machine-oriented, agrarian, diverse, democratic, culturally rich, and ecologically sustainable. We have known for a long time that the status quo – a society that is machine-oriented, competitive, inequitable, fast-paced, globalized, monocultural, corporate-dominated – is deadening to the human spirit and ecologically unsustainable.

Sustainable. Unsustainable. What do these words really mean?

Perhaps peak oil at last provides the word sustainability with teeth. People now speak of "sustainable development," "sustainable growth," and "sustainable returns on investment." That, my friends, is sustainability lite. The word has been diluted and denatured almost beyond recognition.

An understanding of peak oil provides us with a minimum definition of the word: can we do this, whatever it is we're talking about, without fossil fuels? If we can, then it just might be a sustainable activity or process. There¹s no guarantee: there are a lot of human activities that don't involve fossil fuels and that are not sustainable – like large-scale whaling with sailing ships, or intensive irrigation agriculture in soil that isn't properly drained.

But if you can't do it without fossil fuels, by definition, it ain't sustainable.

And that includes most of what we do in North America these days.

What we here are saying is that a transition to a lower level of social-technological complexity need not be violent, need not be chaotic, and need not entail the loss of the values and cultural achievements of which we are most proud as a society. And the end result could be far more humane, enjoyable, and satisfying than life currently is for citizens of this grandest of empires.
Even though this conference is spectacularly well attended from the standpoint of the expectations of the organizers, we are comparatively few. And the message we are communicating is not being heard by the great majority of our fellow citizens. It is probably optimistic to think that it will be understood by more than one or two or three percent of the population. However, if that seed nucleus of the total citizenry really gets it, we may have a chance. We all know what seeds are capable of.

I'm reminded of the Populist rural movement of the late 19th century, which altered America's political landscape and very nearly diverted the US away from its imperial, corporatist destiny back toward the agrarian ideal of Jefferson. The Populists spread their word, starting in rural Texas, to nearly every county in the South, East, West, and Midwest. Their method? They trained 40,000 public speakers. Then, at grange halls, county fairs, and Chautauquas, they painstakingly educated their fellow citizens about the banking cartels, the trusts, and the currency system, and about how local communities could take charge of their own economies once again.

The 1898 presidential election proved to be the undoing of the movement: the Populists had decided to bet the farm on electoral politics and ran William Jennings Bryan, who was beaten by the arch-imperialist William McKinley, himself soon to die at the hand of an anarchist assassin.

We've just had an election too. And, unless it is contested, it may well mark the unequivocal end of the Republic, and of national electoral democracy in this country.

But just as it is becoming altogether clear that we are living in an empire, we are seeing clear signs that the empire is itself nearing its fate.

My friends, it is a time to be hopeful. It is a good time to cherish one another and embrace the young and fortify them with our experiences and vision, and to trust in their ability to find their own appropriate response to the events ahead.

There will be sustainable human cultures on this planet a century from now. In fact, that's the only kind of cultures there will be. And I think we can reasonably hope that at least some of those cultures will be able to trace their lineage to the seemingly marginalized hippies, activists, energy geeks, permaculturists, communitarians, organic farmers, eco-city planners, and plain citizens who started educating their neighbors about peak oil early in the century.

We have done some good work already, but we have a lot more to accomplish. Perhaps we now have a better grasp of the context in which our work must continue, and of its crucial importance for the survival of our species.

May we apply ourselves with renewed confidence, commitment, and good humor. We can create beauty and live in beauty. We can live in joy, knowing that our efforts will sprout roots, trunks, branches, leaves, flowers, and fruit. We can dwell in community, as we share each other's lives and visions, talents and resources, concerns and needs, and learn to support one another and work together.

It is a scary time to be alive, but it is a wonderful time to be alive. It is good to know that there is so much accumulated intelligence and compassion among us. This has been a fabulous conference with extraordinary presenters and presentations, and even more amazing participants. We leave here with gifts of knowledge, encouragement, perspective, and passion. Thank you.

In semi-related news, the price of gasoline here has dipped to $1.89 a gallon, and it made me really happy. I'm nothing if not civilized.

It's beginning to look a lot like December

disssssssconnnnect.


Thoughts.

Like birds flock through my synapses.

Disconnect. Discotech. Dis. Connect.


I can't feel my hands as I type this and it's odd. It's odd. It's so so odd. I wonder if people get what they deserve.

I wish I could breathe. You don't know what you love until you no longer have it.

Crystal clear. Crystal blue persuasion. Crystal (disconnect) Pepsi.

The music of now is evidence that change is not imminent. The internet is evidence that we can change quickly when we want to.

Do we want to?

Misandry = hatred of men
misogny = hatred of women
misantrhopy = hatred of humanity
what's the hatred of life?

Subvert and entertain. I subvert. Do I entertain? Do I? Do I?

Time to wash dishes. Listen to music. Think some thoughts. And breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

It's been a hard day's night.

Sadly, P@ won't be blogging today. Unstead, I, UTP@, will be your host. Enjoy.

Love, UTP@.

Heeee.

I've ..um..been awake since 7am. Seven. A. M.!! DRAMATIC MUSIC>

Heeeee. It's eating the music.

So, yeah. It's now 11:47pm. That's many hours without sleep. Oh! Spekaing (hee!) of no sleep - last night before we went to bed, the police (all of them!) decided it would be fun to fly around our house in a helicopter. With a bullhorn. And drive by with sirens and stuff.
It probably was fun, but not for us. We were of the worried/annoyed/needing to sleep mindset.

Looking into the future...no, try that again. With hindsight (that's better), I discovered that the police (all of them!) were actually hunting for the people who thought it would be fun to rob a nearby casino. That probably was fun. Except for the being hunted (and captured??) by the police (all of them!) part.

I should have more fun in my life. Maybe I'll fly around someone's house. Or hunt for casino robbers.

So, anywhat. I woke up at the ungodly hour of seven after going to sleep around 2. I drove to pick up my paycheck and was annoyed greatly by the morning DJs on 971, the Point, talking about homework. "It prepares kids for the real world." Mmhmm.

Got paid. Cashed check. Bought gas. Verb noun.

We then drove to the really far away world of our unschooling friends who were hosting Sandra Dodd. (See my wife's blog!)

That was fun. But I didn't eat enough. When we left, it was determined that there was no earthly way I could make it to work by the required time, so the Steph opted to keep the car. Yay! I got to work quite hungry, but otherwise okay.

Long story short, I walked into the discovery that both of my coworkers had called in sick. I did the work of three people! They should pay me triple!
They really should. Because, dude. I worked like a freaking ...worker. On the bright side, my supervisor bought me dinner. And it did make the day go by much faster. But tiredness caught up with me sometime around...whenever it did.

Once my shift ended, the Steph arrived and I got in the car, and the Beatles' HArd Day Night was playing on the radio. Heeeee! You said it, British boys!

We stopped at Tacko Bell on teh way home, and ate wonce we got here, and we discovered(re) that all people who work in fast food are stupid.

Then, I read the blogs of my wife, who is funny. Then I blogged this. Then you read it. And that pretty much brings us up to date.

I was originaly(l) planning on watching Hellboy tonight. Somewho, I don't think that's gonna happen now. Becauswe(-w), it's really tired now.

Sleep is good food.

Total and complete

Lack of inspiration, that is.

I want to write, but feel as though I have NOTHING to write about. Talk about a frustrating sensation.

We went to the library today. That was fun. I checked out a bunch of CDs, several graphic novel/comic books (GEEK!), a book about the Simpsons (woohoo!), and Hellboy on DVD. Entertain my brain!

Um.

I've just been clicking around on Wikipedia. That's a fun site. Turns out that Han Solo and Leia end up having 3 children. Twins (Jacen and Jaina) and later a child they name Anakin. Also, Chewbacca dies at Vector Prime. That saddens me.

I still need to finish up the December boq's questions. This inspirationlessness has been all-encompassing. If anyone's got some last minute suggestions, you know how to contact me.

I was halfway thinking of typing up my NaNoWriMo attempt from last year. I pulled down the old notebook, and looking it over, saw that it's only 8 (written) pages. That might be too lengthy to read (let alone for me to type!) but maybe if there's enough interest. [shrug]

You know, now that the month is almost over, I got to wonder - what are all the NaBloWriMo and NaNoWriMo contestants gonna do on December first? I expect that there will be a whole lot of nothing in the blogosphere in a day or two. ;)

Blog Challenge #4: A Picture's Worth 1000 Words

Here it is. The final Blog Challenge. Thanks to everyone who participated - or at least thought about participating, since it is the thought that counts. Of course, the other challenges are still open, there is no expiration date, so if you were simply waiting for inspiration to hit you, or until after the events of November had passed to partake, you still can.
The other challenges:

Blog Challenge #1: To comment is to reply.

Blog Challenge #2: CAST Away.

Blog Challenge #3: _'d l_k_ t_ b_y _ v_w_l.

Which brings us to this one.

The challenge is to take some writing and make it in the style of Ape10. For those not in the know of what I mean, I'll explain. Some of the words of your writing must have links to images. The images should correspond to the words, but you can be creative with it.
As for the writing, it can be lyrics to a song (which is what I will be doing) or a poem you like (bring Shakespeare to life!) or a short story or even an original piece. Whatever works for ya.
Now, have fun!

Here's my contribution to today's blog challenge.



On the first part of the journey I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rain
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
After three days in the desert fun I was looking at a river bed
And the story it told of a river that flowed
Made me sad to think it was dead

You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can't remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,la,la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,la,la

After nine days I let the horse run free 'cause the desert had turned to sea
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rain (see above)
The ocean is a desert with it's life underground
And a perfect disguise above
Under the cities lies a heart made of ground
But the humans will give no love

You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can't remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la (again,see above)

Man, that took a lot longer than I had thought. Apologies to America (the band, not the country).

exhaustion produces turbulence

Or something. I don't know.

I'm tired, have nothing to blog about, and have been in a slightly irritated mood all day. And why? I don't know.

I don't know! It's like, the phrase du jour. Say it!

I was thinking on the way home that I'm an idiot. But at least I admit it. I don't know anything. I'm starting to get annoyed with people who believe they do.

I. KNOW. NOTHING.

In slightly ...less grumpy news, I keep having Smallville dreams. In them, I am Clark - or at least, seeing things from his point of view - and there seems to be a lot of conflict between Clark and Papa Luthor and Clark and Bo. Other than that, my memory of the dreams is faded. As dreams are wont to do.

Ten years ago, I was all homeless. I think that may be contributing to my grumpitiaty. (That is too a word.)

Work. That, too is of the stupid.

I mean, I'm not around the girls for 9 hours out of the day. And then we sleep for another 8 (read: 10). And then I'm online. Feck. I don't know. I don't know what I'm talking about or what my point is or if I even have one.

Remind me that I have an entry to make about the FCC. OR not. God, sometimes I wonder why I bother. I think we need to go to the library again.

Speaking of identity theft, there was a story on the fucking news about a woman who committed that "crime". It was interesting - at least as far as a story on the fucking news can be - because she got a credit card issued to a NONEXISTANT person! She sent in an application with a fake name and a made up social. Huh. After that, she started using real people's names and information. And she bought a house. She bought a fucking house! Man, that's gutsy. It's also what (according to the story) led to her arrest. Greed, man. Get's ya everytime. That, or one of the other deadly sins. *chuckle*

So after that, she ends up going to jail for 48 hours.

Yay?

So many things on the fucking news are pointless. I don't know.

This entry's gone on too long. I need food. And sleep. And maybe some pepsi. And I don't know what else. I don't know.

moneymoneymoney

Happy Thanksspending. or Cashgiving. Or Thank$giving. I had an awesome name picked out for the day after Thanksgiving, but I can't recall it. For those who live abroad, in the United States, the Friday after Thanksgiving is historically, the busiest shopping day of the year. It's when a large number of stores have sales and the unofficial official beginning of the holiday season.

Of course, it's also Buy Nothing Day.

Normally, for us, it is buy nothing day, since we don't have the godmoney to spend. We don't this year, either, but we're going to go out (maybe) in a bit and spend anyway. Woohoo for salmon! [/cryptic (and sarcastic!)]

Speaking of godmoney, I got woken up this morning by a phone call from a collection agency. They were looking for a person with my name, who apparently owes cash to some Beach Club. I told the woman on the phone that that wasn't possible since I'd never even heard of this company. She informed me that it was located in Minnesota. Since I haven't lived in Minnesota - ever and haven't been in that state in a decade, I figured it most likely wasn't me. I gave her the last four digits of my social security number, and hooray! It's not me! Or, it's not someone trying to be me, either. This is quite interesting, because (I think I blogged about this earlier) for a while I was getting calls from Sears saying my credit card was overdue. Funny, I don't have a credit card. Turns out, they were looking for the same Patrick W. that lives in Minnesota. AND Minnesota was where our cable bill was being sent to. Hmm.

All this godmoney talk has made me think about the things that are free. The best things in life are free, as the saying goes, so let's take a look at what (some of) those things are:

[-] Air. Breathing.

[-] Water. (Well, mostly free.)

[-] Listening to your wife's placenta. (Doesn't Placenta sound like a night club? Stephanie's does. I bet the bean is thinking "Man, it's so loud in here!")

[-] Being born.

[-] Thinking.

[-] Sunshine.

[-] Laughter.

[-] Hugs.

[-] Shelter.

[-] Food.

[-] Friendship.

[-] Learning.

[-] Love.

ric acid and natural fla

Random thoughts.

We're airing Deep Down on Saturday (I'm so glad that our station picked up the syndicated runs of Angel) and I was just thinking how funny it would've been if they'd not found Angel's lobster box for ...oh, say, the rest of the season.

Cheerleaders really do lead a lot of cheer.

DVDs have the ability to hold like, gabillion tons of information, right? Then why do movies need two discs? Or more? Can't all of those 'extras' fit on one?

We have chickens in our neighborhood. The roosters crow all the time. It's awesome. And annoying. And awesome.

We will soon have chicken in our stomach.

I dreamt about John Connor, and the future, but I don't recall the details.

Commercials put food on our table, but dear jesus could they be more irksome? (That's a rhetorical question, makers of commercials.)

Five. Five emails.

Oh! I get it! Elephants! Hahahaha!!

DNA is good stuff.

Done now.

Sometimes, a band just expresses it perfectly.

I know it's an old song, but it's stuck in my head.

The main attraction distraction
Got your number than number than numb.
Empty your pockets son they got you thinkin' that
What you need is what they sellin'
Make you think that buyin' is rebellin'
From the theaters to malls on every shore
The thin line between entertainment and war
The front line is everywhere there'll be no shelter here
Still burn the nightmare works you pushin' for,
I'm a snap of the whip, the true feather to tar
Memroy erased and promise gone,
Tradin' your history for a V.C.R.
Cinema simulated life in trauma
Forthright culture, Americana
Chained to the dream they got you searchin' for
The thin line between entertainment and war
There'll be no shelter here,
The front line is everywhere.
Hospitals not profitful
The market bulls got pockets full
To advertise some hip disguise
View the world from American eyes
The parmagon keep fiendin' for more
The thin line between entertainment and war
Fix the need, develop the taste,
Buy the products, or get laid to waste
Coca-cola was back in the veins of Saigon
And Rambo troops We got a dope pair 'a Nikes on
Godzilla pure motherfuckin' filler
Get your eyes on the real killer,
Cinema simulated life in trauma
Forthright culture, Americana
Chained to the dream they got you searchin' for,
The thin line between entertainment and war.
There'll be no shelter here,
The front line is everywhere.
The front line is everywhere.
The front line is everywhere.
The front line is everywhere.
American eyes, American eyes,
View the world from American eyes,
Bury the past, rob us blind,
leave nothing behind.
Just stare.
Just stare.
Just stare.
Just stare.
Or live the nightmare.

Unquestionably.

a) Prayer changes all (at least, that's what's said). Make a prayer all humans reading can chant.
Allah, please make earth peaceful. Amen.

e) Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies. Reveal some harmless deception(s).
Heee! Lies, eh?
Erm.
Males dislike sex.
The government cares.
Societies rule! [/Jupe]
Earth's resources are infinite.
We need more reality television.
There. Five.

i) (I apologize if I induce eyerolling.[wink]) Is civilization inherently evil? Explain. (Additional brain stretching: justify th' opposite view.)
Briefly: It is.
Opposite view: It isn't.
[grin]

Slightly lengthier explanation: Civilization is evil, if 'evil' is defined 'unsustainable.' Civ. demolishes life, growing & growing until it achieves ruination. Inevitable, since it is civilization's destiny.

Opposite view: Civilization yielded Simpsons.

o) Note some good songs you know. (Bonus chore: compare or contrast those songs.)
Woman, Road to Nowhere.
On Woman John Lennon croons to Yoko Ono. Road to Nowhere's more ...philosophical. Both good songs, though.

u) Quick question: Should Buffy's soulmate hunting concluded thusly: "Buffy just luvs Buffy. Dough!"? Discuss.
Soupy undoubtedly uttered: Buffy should've fucked Rupert.
Yours truly speculates Buffy's soulmate = Buffy. Duplicated.

Blog Challenge #3: _'d l_k_ t_ b_y _ v_w_l.

This type of challenge has been issued before. But! This is the advanced challenge version. Mwahahaha!

Okay. So the challenge is to write. You can write whatever you want, but to meet the requisites of the challenge, you must make sure that each word contains the vowel of your choosing. You can, if you want, do the challenge for each vowel. And, because I'm in a generous mood, I'll even provide 'starter topics' for each vowel. You don't have to use these, but I did put a lot of thought into them. And they are pretty darn creative, if I do say so myself.

Of course, you can use all of these, some of these, none of these. Whatever works. It's just that you must make sure that each of the words in your essay(s) (for lack of a better word) contains that vowel. (I feel like I'm simultaneously overexplaining and not explaining well enough. Story of my life. And also a nice side effect of being overtired.) Okay, enough explaining. Here are my starter topics. Feel free to use them. Or not.
Oh! But I ask, again, that if you do partake in the challenge, that you mention where you stole it from. AND!! If you start to get stuck in any of your responses, I'll forgive people "cheating" by using symbols (&, @, 4, etc) or even using th' to replace the (obviously that would be th' case in any of the essays other than the "e" one.)

Okay, now that I've thoroughly confused everyone out there, let's get on with this.

Starter Topics

a) Prayer changes all (at least, that's what's said). Make a prayer all humans reading can chant.

e) Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies. Reveal some harmless deception(s).

i) (I apologize if I induce eyerolling.[wink]) Is civilization inherently evil? Explain. (Additional brain stretching: justify th' opposite view.)

o) Note some good songs you know. (Bonus chore: compare or contrast those songs.)

u) Quick question: Should Buffy's soulmate hunting concluded thusly: "Buffy just luvs Buffy. Dough!"? Discuss.



Good luck, everyone! I look forward to reading lots of oddly worded phrases. [grin]

shtuff.

It being a Sunday in November, there should be a Blog Challenge here. Well, there's not! Ha ha! [/Nelson]

I've got it in mind (i've had all the Blog Challenges in mind since the first one) but right now my brain and body are too exhausted to type it out. Also, I misplaced my notes, which had the specifics of this challenge written down. (You'll see)

And, yeah, I could backdate, but, even if I did that, the challenge wouldn't be ...um...challenged by anyone anyone until tomorrow, so I'll save all of us some grief and simply post it tomorrow. It's a great one, well worth the wait.

In other news, on my AOL Buddy List right now, I have zero buddies, zero family, zero co-workers, and zero recent buddies online. I do believe that's a first.

What a drag it is getting old.

Sore back.

Pot belly.

Losing my hair.

Eyesight fading.

Tired. So, so tired.

Music sucks.

Wrinkles!

Sore thumbs.


Okay, that last one is from my playing Castlevania on the Nintendo 64 for the past hour. Which just goes to show you that you can't stay young, either.

otional benefits package

For those who are wondering, this title (and the one before it) were gleemed (gleaned?) from whatever odd scraps of paper have been lying around me when I begin to blog. It's great for coming up with titles when I have no title readily available.

I was thinking today on the drive home about how it's November 19th, and while the idea of shopping for Xmas is in the air (and on the air) the idea of Xmas...isn't. People aren't being more considerate toward one another, or smiling more or anything like that. The holiday is supposed to be something to strive for year round, and while I know that's impractical and impossible... I don't know. It just hit me how November 19th is not considered special. I can't explain it because I didn't really understand it myself. Forget I said anything.

There does seem to be something in the air lately, though. Or on the internet, maybe. Vibes are strange things. God, why do I even talk?

My stomach is empty. I've had to eat today: A bologna sandwich, two pieces of KFC chicken, some candy. Healthy!

You know what's weird? When someone you

You know what's really weird? When you decide mid sentence to not even bother finishing the thought. Well, maybe not so much 'weird' as 'annoying'. Sorry.

Also weird? Numbers.

And a lot of other things. Like, everything.

Merry November 19th, everyone!

include bread, veggies and meat.

ANother very tired day. Tiring. Whatev.

News of the moment that made me ...happy, I guess. ABC is moving Alias to Wednesday's, right after Lost! It'll be J.J.Abrams night! Woo. and hoo.

I'm not quite UTP@, but pretty close. Be. Largh.

Let's see, what else? Tomorrow the SpongeBob SquarePants Movie opens. Hooray! Except that I'm sure I'll wait until it comes out on video. But I will see it someday.

This is becoming a very "and then I made a cheese sandwich" entry. Yawn.

You know what's hard to keep in mind? The fact that people you see on TV are just that - PEOPLE. Politicians are human! It's really really difficult to remember that that is a fact. I think they forget, too. Celebrities, models, other people driving on the freeway, news anchors, terrorists. They're all homo sapiens sapiens. I wonder why that's such a hard thing to keep in the forefront of one's brain. Everyone is a person, who has feelings and thoughts and dreams. They each have desires and wants. They all poop. They all eat. They all emerged from a mother.

I think we forget that too often. And, like I said, I think sometimes the people I mentioned forget that they are people too. Some supermodels came into town a few days back - some Victoria's Secret thing...I don't know what the deal was, it was a secret - and it just hit me that all the attention that these women were recieving (and do recieve, like ALL the time) probably made it difficult for them to remember that they're just like the rest of us. They will age. They will die. They shed tears. And skin cells. Just because they've been deemed extremely photogenic (and they were) doesn't shouldn't grant them special uberhuman privileges.
Just because politicians dress up in suits and have lots of pieces of paper...they're still animals.

I don't know. This ramblingness ties in closely with the epiphany I mentioned a few days back, but at this moment, neither thought seems to be making much sense. Guess that's because I'm a human being.

...and there's nothing on.

I've got 57 emails in my inbox right now.

Theresa Heinz would be proud.

Randomly funny (or at least, semi-amusing) thoughts I've had in the past 24 hours:

"P@, you are a card carrying member of the philosophy of denialism."
"No I'm not."

"I fought Jude Law, and Jude Law won."


Actually, I guess that's all. I thought I had more inner dialouge, but turns out I don't. I would, though, like to fight Jude Law.

under the wire

Jesus, Blogger. Could you be any more uncooperative?

Bah. I have something I want to talk about, but it's long and complex and it's late and I'm not exactly in the mood anymore. So whatever.

Safe, Non-Toxic

Note to self: Don't look at sites like this before blogging. It puts you in a foul mood unsuitable for thinking clearly.

We bought a saw today. For $1.59. You get what you pay for! Unless you're a thief. HA!

You ever have an epiphany, but you don't want to share it, for fear that it will be picked apart? Just wondering. I'm not saying I've had one, simply curious if others have experienced that. Okay, I have had one.

Um.

Think I'm still not really thinking clearly.

Blog Challenge #2: CAST Away

CAST - Continue A STory. In which a story is begun on a blog, and then continued, bit by bit, by the people who leave comments.

I've done this before, but that was back in the Haloscan days. (Heh. So funny.) The "rules" are slightly different this time. Original rules were:

1) You may add on a section up to 3 times - but you need to have at least two other people put entries between yours.
2) Don't end the story. That's for me to do.

The only difference this time is that there is no limit on how many times you may contribute. But! No double posting. You must wait for at least one other person to put up a section of the story before you continue. Don't want anyone story-hogging.

As for the (most likely) inevetiable possibility of double-posting (people putting up sections at the same time)...I don't know how to deal with that, actually. I'm hoping that it just dosen't happen.

Lastly, the "challenge" part is for you to start your own CAST on your blog. You can use the same story beginning (if you want) but it would be more ...creatively expanding for you to come up with something original. If you do, though, I ask that you please link back to me crediting me with the idea. (Only because I want more traffic and possible people adding to the story)

Okay. With no further delaying, onto the acutal story...

*****

Paul Washington was woken up by the ringing of the telephone. A beam of almost-noon sunlight sneaked in his bedroom window between the thickly drawn curtains. Groggily, he reached for the phone, willing the hangover away. "Hello?" he answered.

The voice on the other end shouted something in German. Paul didn't understand it, but there was no mistaking the urgency, whatever the message may have been. "Sorry, dude. Wrong number." He hung up and fell back into a deep slumber.

Ten minutes later, the door was kicked in. Paul sat up instantly, heart pounding. The adrenaline raced through his body and he was sweating as three men in dark black uniforms and brandishing machine guns surrounded his bed. The men were all yelling at him, obviously irate. Paul stuck his hands up, terrified. Well, at least my hangover is gone, he thought mindlessly as his brain attempted to understand the bizarre situation he found himself in. The leader of the men poked the nozzle of his machine gun into Paul's ribs and barked some sort of question. Paul shook his head and said, "I...I don't speak German."

The leader said the same phrase again, and again poked Paul with his weapon. Paul's vision blurred and he feared he would faint. He willed himself to stay conscious and said, "Take whatever you want. Just don't hurt me. Please." The leader grabbed Paul's arm roughly. He looked at his forearm, but obviously didn't like what he saw - or as Paul quickly determined, what he did not see. All three men had a barcode tattoo on their forearms, and they were expecting Paul to have the same. One of the other men asked a question - most likely, "Where's his tattoo?" - and the leader barked angrily at him. Paul was hoping was ferevertly wishing this was all a horrific nightmare that he'd soon wake up from.

Paul protested as the leader placed a pair of handcuffs on him, but these men did not seem to understand English any better than he spoke German. "You've got the wrong guy!" he yelled, as they forced him to get out of bed. He had on his jeans, but no shirt.

Realizing that dealing with these thugs wasn't going to work, Paul decided his best course of action was to get help from a neighbor. As the men started to march him out of his apartment, he screamed, "Mrs. Johansen! Mrs. Johansen, call 9-1-1!" His yells brought his next door neighbor to her door. Mrs. Johansen had been Paul's neighbor for the past 4 years. They attended the same church. He knew she'd help. The woman opened the door, and Paul nearly did faint when he saw that Mrs. Johansen had a barcode on her forearm...

Weekend Update!

Since I have nothing of importance to blog about today, I figured I'd read the news today (oh boy!). Just to find out what the people who control the media think we ought to know.

Here's a sampling, with some fun witty comments by yours truly following!

Dick! ~ Yup, Dick Cheney's having heart problems again. Which is surprsing to me, since I wasn't sure the man had a heart. They say that the body and mind are connected. Or maybe the Universe is trying to tell him something. Of course, if he does actually die, like the head of a hydra, there would just be another monster to replace him.

Zzzzap! ~ Recipe for disaster: Take authority figures, add tazer guns, mix in children. Stir.

Well, duh! ~ Finally Scott Peterson was found guilty. Also, why is any of this of importance? I don't know Scott. I didn't know Laci. Their lives should not be in the news. But, of course, I've tried to make this aruguement with the president and political figures before, to little avail. I just don't see why we're being told about this court case. Or any court case, for that matter. That being said, I hope they kill the fucker.

How's that War on Terror coming along? ~ I've got Rage Against The Machine's Killing in the Name stuck in my head.

Hollywood is magical ~ They can clone Tom Hanks!!

Fungus among us ~ This fungus just wanted to come to America, the land of opportunity! Soybean rust. Hmm. Well, you reap what you sow.

Micro$oft news ~ Phew! I wouldn't want Bill Gates to lose any money.

That was kinda fun. Maybe I'll make that a regularish feature.

Work kicked my ass.

I'm so bloody tired.

I have a long list of people that I would like to see fired.

I also have nothing to talk about. Blah.

Special Guest Star: Oreo, the cat.

Whose name may actually just be "Cat!", but I digress.

Today is 11/11! Go numbers! I've altered the time-stamp to reflect and honor this.

It's also Kurt Vonnegut's birthday. Hooray! He's one of my favorite hairless apes. In honor, I'm reading Hocus Pocus which is a novel by him. I may throw in some quotes from it. If I can be arsed. [/Britishism]

Today is also Veteran's Day. Kurt Vonnegut is a veteran. Of World War 2! Man. That's like, historic. History.

Also, it's been brought to my attention that I don't speak enough of our cat. That's because he's no longer cute. He still exists, though. But he's generally pretty bitey. Or annoying. But we still love him! Currently, I have no idea where he is, but if I had to wager a guess, I'd say he's most likely sleeping in the bedroom.

In other news, Green Day's American Idiot is the album I most want to add to our collection. Go Green Day! Although, as I was telling Stephanie, the other day, I heard a radio commercial for Green Day coming in concert, and it ended with, "Green Day, produced by [name of some huge corporation]" and it made me sad that a PUNK band would allow themselves to associate with a huge corporation. I mean, yeah, Green Day sold out a long time ago, and I don't ultimately care what Green Day does...it just seems ...hypocritical, I guess, for a band that is supposed to represent an anti-establishment mentality to want money, fame, and mass marketing. Ya know?

I don't know. Hypocrites rule. I'm a hypocrite. He's a hypocrite. Wouldn't you like to be a hypocrite too?

In other other news...I had something, but I forget. Damnit. OH! I was going to ask about Attorney Generals. What exactly do they do? Are they attorneys? Or are they generals? Or neither? Is there some sort of army of lawyers out there? (Other than Wolfram & Hart, that is) And are there Attorney Corporals? And! There's the Surgeon General, too. Hmmm. Do all professions have an army? That's a strange thought.
Maybe, though, it's the wrong meaning of 'general', and there's an Attorney Specific out there somewhere, who simply doesn't get as much press time as the Attorney General.

You know what it's like?

It's like having 8 emails in your inbox that you just won't delete.

It's like Vietnam, all over again.

It's like a half-eaten fig newton.

It's like sitting in a car which is in a garage, with the engine running, and fighting over which radio station to listen to.

It's like a moth.

It's like the Roman Empire invading surrounding cities, raping the villagers.

It's like pizza.

It's like a cultural collapse.

It's like history repeating. Repeating. Repeating. Repeating.

It's like talking til you're blue in the face, and still having it fall on deaf ears.

It's like blogging.

It's like rigging the game in your favor.

It's like...something, that I forget.

It's like a metaphor, or something.

It's like monkeys. Just like monkeys.

It's almost like someone knows.

It's like humans and ants.

It's like a movie.

It's like a tv show.

It's like nothing before it.

It's like everything before it.

It's a lot, it's a lot, it's a lot, it's a lot...like life.

What is it like?

Maybe I should build a boat?

It's been raining for two days nonstop now. Which is cool, but a little disturbing. I mean, this is a desert, right? It never rains in Vegas. It rains on the outskirts of Vegas, or it rains in Vegas, but only for 10 minutes at a time. This has been pretty much a downpour, and pretty constant, for two days.

And the weather folks keep adding days to the forecast. "This is gonna end by Monday" they said a few days ago. It's now supposed to clear up "on Wednesday" only to have more rain show up through Sunday.

And we just lost power briefly.

There's thunder. LOUD thunder. And lightning. And rain, rain, rain.

Our back porch is totally flooded. And the power just blinked off again.

Better blog before I lose it.

Great is ok, but amazing would be great!

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Blog Challenge #1: To comment is to reply.

I've decided that in the month of November, in celebration of NaMeBlogWriMoSoLaTiDo, that each Sunday I will issue a sort of Blog Challenge. You are by no means forced to take part in any of them, but if one of them grabs your fancy, go for it. [up]

This being the first week, I thought I'd start with something relatively easy to complete. Commenting!

Here's the challenge.

1) Comment on an old entry in my blog. It doesn't matter if you've commented in it before or not, just find an entry that is dated before November 7th, 2004 and leave some words.

2) Comment on an old entry in someone's blog that you frequent regularly. Go through a friend's archives and find an entry that you like, then send them a note. Looking back at past entries is often illuminating.

3) Find a blog you've never read before, a complete and total stranger, and leave them a comment. If you're feeling skittish about doing this one (The Internet is populated with freaks, after all) you can leave your comment anonymously. However, if you let them know where your blog is, you might just widen your circle of friends.

That's it. I've already completed step #3, so go team me!

Oh, and of course, feel free to repeat steps 1-3 as many times as you'd like. No need to stop after just one round of commenting. Comment like the wind!

jIH DichDaq taH pa' vaD SoH

The alien civilizations in Star Wars, Star Trek, and ...well, about 98% of all sci-fi, actually, go off the assumption that they were just like ours, and they advanced to the point where they can have space travel and whatnot.

Ignoring the silliness of that assumption, I'd like to focus on an idea that is not really touched upon by this theory. Before the Klingons (for example) built interstellar spaceships, they must have built other technology. Like, say, television.

Which would mean that they would have had television shows....

Which means that there must exist Klingon versions of Friends. Dude.

DUDE.

military monkey men might make movies

Yeah, I don't know either.

I saw the trailer for Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith today. At work! On our "news"!! Which is pretty darn neat, considering. The movie will most likely be as horrible as the other two, but the trailer did leave me feeling slightly optimistic that it'll be worth the 20 bucks to go see it with Steph. Only 7 more months of waiting to find out. [doh2]

Also, in case anyone was living in a cave (or, um, outside of the US...or inside the US, but wasn't watching the WB for the past two weeks or so) this Sunday is the NETWORK TELEVISION PREMIERE OF THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING. [/dramatic voice] I swear if I see another trailer for that I'll ...I don't know what. BUt seriously, I know it's impressive and all, and they've most likely got a lot riding on the amount of viewers they expect to pull in, but do they have to mention it in EVERY COMMERCIAL BREAK?

This Sunday, of course, is also the season premiere of The Simpsons. Year 16. Sixteen! Woohoo! So, if we watch any of LOTR:TFOTR, we'll be missing at least a half hour of it. Sorry, Frodo.

Question about the Star Wars ...sextilogy (? I know that's not the word (or even really a word at all) but I can't locate what I'm looking for). Are we meant to watch them in the order 1,2,3,4,5,6? Or are people meant to watch them in the order 4,5,6,1,2,3? Because if you watch them 1-6, the "surprise" of Yoda in Empire Strikes Back...isn't a surprise. We meet Yoda early on, and we know he goes into hiding. But in Empire, Luke doesn't know that the little green creature stealing his food is the Jedi Master he's looking for. I think because of this (and probably other reasons as well) we're meant to watch them in the 4-6 then 1-3 order. Or maybe just ignore the 1-3 films altogether.

Cheaters never win.

Except, of course, when they do.

I'm cheating on the date. I didn't blog yesterday, but as Annika said, " I will allow myself to pre- or post-date entries" so I'm justified in tinkering with time. Ha! Tinkering with time!!

Um. Funny thing is, I don't have anything to say. I could talk about how Bush stole this election, too (Legitimate my ass) but I really don't want to get into political crap. The feeling of overwhelming despair that comes whenever I think about it is too horrible. I've been trying to look on the bright side of the outcome of Nov. 2nd, and while it may be a stretch, I think I've found some.

Maybe, just maybe, Bush will be what finally pushes us to Rock Bottom. Maybe, just maybe, having a so called leader make life so goddamn unbearable will wake people the fuck up. Maybe, just maybe, a cultural awakening will result from whatever travesties come from Bush & Co. Maybe.

I mean, it's got to happen eventually, right? Maybe Bush will be the catalyst. Maybe it'll be Peak Oil. Maybe it'll be global warming's effects. Maybe it'll be the extinction of some species that we vitally depend upon. Most likely, it'll be a combination of those (or some other factor I've not even considered). I also suspect that it won't happen yet. I'm really leaning toward 2012. 8 more years! 8 more years!!
[sigh]

I don't know. What's something more positive to talk about? Anyone? Anyone?

Monkeys like fruit snacks.

We went to the zoo today, and I fed a Barbary Ape (which, as we know, is not an ape at all) an orange flavored fruit snack. Screw the rules, man. That monkey wanted that sugar-filled gummi concoction.

The coolest thing about them were their eyes. And how human they looked. Oh, and the fur-cleaning they did to each other. And how they leaped around. And their fingers! So humanlike! And their big-ass teeth. (Scary!) And how when the monkey I fed ate the fruit snack, he stuck his arm out through the gate in a "Gimme more" fashion. All around, monkeys rule.

Speaking of ruling, I guess there was an election or something last night. My only response to this is as follows:

HA HA HAH HAAAHHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAH HAHA HA HA HA HAAAA!! HEEEE HA HA HHOOOO HA HA HA HA HAA HA HA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAAAA HAA HAAA AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAH AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

HA!!

Seriously.

I wish I could've stayed with the monkeys. They were so much better than having to go to work.

Once more, with feeling.

Interview with the Magic 8-ball, part III.

Magic 8-ball, do you know the outcome of the presidential election?
YES
DEFINITELY

Ooh! Now we're getting somewhere! Magic 8-ball, will you tell us the outcome?
YES
DEFINITELY

Awesome! Well worth the wait. (I hope) Okay, Magic 8-ball, is the president going to be John Kerry?
IT IS CERTAIN

Really. So George W. Bush is going to lose?
YES

Will there be rioting or lawsuits or a mass exodus to Canada as a result?
BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW

That bodes well. Magic 8-ball, are you just making these results up to make people feel better?
MOST LIKELY

Well, now we just have to see how accurate the 8-ball is. But, really, how wrong can a piece of liquid filled plastic be?

Political update!

Interview with the 8-ball, cont.

Magic 8-ball, do you know the outcome of the presidential election?
CONCENTRATE AND ASK AGAIN


It's just like the media!! Only more accurate!

You heard it here first!

Interview with the 8-ball!!!

Magic 8-ball, do you know the outcome of the presidental election?
ASK AGAIN LATER

Well, there ya have it!

Sugar is poison

So it's Halloween. Hooray!!

The girls are all happy, eating Smarties ("Why are Smarties so popular, but you can't buy them anywhere? I only see them when I go trick-or-treating.") and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and lollipops and whatnot.

Steph is lying on the delapidated couch, listening to the baby. Or some demon inside her belly. I'm not sure which.

Lord only knows where Oreo is.

I'm tired, and was very close to not blogging, but the desire to express myself won out over exhaustion. Lucky yous.

So, our day.

I spent several hours last night online catching up on the stupid 'boqtober' goal I had given myself. Thus, tiredness today.
Anywhat, woke up, and the girls watched tape-delayed Kids WB episodes and we had breakfast.

After we all dressed, showered, blahblahblahed, we went to Rufio's and Subway for our lunch. Stephanie went to Children's Orchard to buy some clothes for Deceptor. Next we hit Target and Learning is Expensive to buy stuff that I guess we need. And also some new Pokemon cards, which pleased the girls immensely.

Once we got home, we carved the pumpkin, and it turned out pretty well. Steph did the deglooping of the insides, but we didn't keep the seeds this year. Oh well. She also drew the face with a pen, which made the carving (done by me and the girls) much easier.

Around 6, we got the girls in their costumes (Saren - a witch, Harper - a pumpkin) and then hopped in the car to drive to a nicer neighborhood to beg for candy. While driving, we saw that our neighborhood had a lot more trick-or-treaters than previous years, which was surprising.

We did the trick-or-treat thing for about an hour and a half, and were, once again, saddened by how few houses/children there were. Everyone seems to go to those Safe House Trick or Treating things, which I dislike. Even so, the girls did wind up with plenty of candy, and they had a good time, so that's all that truly matters.

After that we had dinner out (not Wendy's! Bucking tradition this year!), then came home and watched last year's "Treehouse of Horror". We still have "Nightmare Before Christmas" to watch, but the girls went to play their Pokemon decks instead, and I came online, and Steph tried to listen to the baby, and well, that brings us up to date.

Hooray for Halloween!

Thank you?

Last night, Steph told me, "You look like Lex Luthor's dad."

I think that's a compliment. That's how I took it, at any rate. I suppose I should have reacted with a "Mwahahaha!"

Millennial chicken! And Harry Potter.

Two nights back, the Steph made a chicken for dinner. It was super freaking yummy.
No, it was SUPER FREAKING YUMMY! I reported to Amy that it was "the best chicken I had had this millennium", and I stand by that report. Good good stuff.

In other news, a few days back we were at the bookstore, and I found a book that was all about the "Secrets of Harry Potter". Intrigued, I picked it up, and began to flip through the pages. Some of the stuff I read was incredibly interesting. And now I share! Fair warning, knowing this stuff may influence the readings of future books in the series. Of course, this is also stuff that some of you may already know - if you think about things long enough, you'd figure it out. So, it's not anything ultra-spoilery, but I'll be putting it in tags, just in case.

[Begin spoiler for -Harry Potter series highlight to view]In chapter 13 of each book (so far, anyway), the "villain" of the story has either first appeared, or made a cameo appearance. Um. Supposedly. I haven't checked the veracity of this claim.

Also of note - Hermione is usually right - except when she gets emotional.
Ron is usually wrong - except when he makes a joke about things. (Hee! I've noticed that one!)
And, if she (J.K. Rowling, that is) interrupts a conversation, she's hiding something important.[end spoiler]

Staring at a screen

While washing dishes, listening to U2, I came to the (re?)realization that words are magic.

Or maaagic, even.

It used to befuddle my mind the idea of magic, as presented in, say, "Buffy" or "Charmed" or most sort of fiction - where people chant words - often Latin, because we all know that the Romans were witches- and voila, instant change.

Pfft, I would think, how can simply uttering random sounds cause anything to happen? And when thought in that way, it doesn't make a bit of sense. Spoken words are simply a combination of the 144 different sounds that the human voicebox is capable of making. (Note: I'm sure I'm making all sorts of scientific errors here. No doubt Jupe will correct me. [wink]) There is nothing inherently special about these sounds - they're simply noise, which the Universe is full of. (If a phrase is uttered and nobody is around to hear it...)

And written words are worse! They're simply symbols for the sounds! If anything, it's a step removed from the 'magicness' of the original noises.

However. It occured to me that words do have power. Both written and spoken words can (and do) alter the brain chemistry (kemistry!) of the individual seeing/hearing them. It's incredible. It's weird beyond comprehension, but it's true.

I don't even think I'm making sense here, because these thoughts aren't even making sense in my head and I know I'm not getting them out there in theright order or in a manner that will send the magic correctly. Alas.

I don't know. I was thinking about words and why they have the power they do. Maybe we aren't meant to understand it, anyway. Who the hell knows? Who the hell knows anything?

In much less thinky news, it's 1:35 in the morning, there are six days left until Halloween, and 13 days left until the new season of The Bimpsons begins. Excellent.

Lost speculation!

I know that there are fans of the show Lost who read my blog, so I offer some incredibly vague speculation for their benefit! For those of you who do not watch Lost...um. Pretend I posted about ...I don't know, whiskey covered candy bars or something.

So - my speculation is based on episode 4, Walkabout. What if there are two? One good, one bad. That would explain why he didn't die, and it would tie in nicely with his backgammon speech from episode 3.

There. I think that was clear enough for those who have seen the show to know what I'm talking about and sufficently vague enough for those who have not to not be spoiled.

I just don't get it.

Disturbing.

Anything else I might have to add I'd only regret saying.

Stop and smell the smoke

The Price is Right, yloponom, dishes, downloading songs, playing Kingdom of Loathing, writing emails, looking at maps, pokemon and pepsi, singing xmas songs, my dad's unemployed, doubts and worries, regrets and stories, built to spill and ben folds five, the gop and the dnc, elements, chemicals, atoms, metanoia, metroid, gamecube, xbox, dreams of resident evil 2, post offices, zombie feet, ape10s not yet written. halloween, costumes, sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar. pizza, trash, animals, sky, clouds, library fines, the neverending story (ahahaahaaahaaah), fruit roll ups, credit card debt, posts, money, dmv, 10 years later, the list of miragia, yoyo, string, cat food, senor cat food, freezing feet, fan turned off, fall arrived, pigeons on the porch. cockroaches, taco bell, ten dollar bills and twenty questions. cereal, life, normalcy, school, red hatsand purple outfits, aging. crying. thinking.

thinking.

The unicorns love me tonight.

I honestly don't know what I wanted to say. There are things to talk about, but I'm not feeling bothered. I've got one of those oh so fun, "Screw everything" attitudes right now. I blame (Canada) the lack of Pepsi in my veins.

Maybe I'll go remedy that right now.

equalibrium

Occasionally, there is balance in the universe.

Annika and Will, two of the best people I know, are getting married this weekend.

Blessings to them both.

Our news turns one today, oh boy.

Yup. One year ago today, our station(s) began airing news on a nightly basis.And while it got off to a bad start, things have become routine. In an already overcrowded market, we're adding to the saturation of "information". And have been for 266 days. Yahoo!

To celebrate, right now they are having a free lunch (who says there's no such thing?). Of course, I'm at home. So a lotta good that does me.

Also, our station(s) being Sinclair Broadcast Group stations, will be running some stupid Anti-Kerry documentary thing in a few weeks. As a result, we've been receiving death threats. Guess I picked the right time to go on vacation.

The case for not voting

Finally. I've been wanting to post this for months. There's a lot of points I want to hit, hopefully I am able to do it in a way that doesn't jump around too much and flows coherently.

If you want to comment, feel free to take as much space as you need. Lord knows I am going to.

I have never voted in a political election. I can safely say that I never will. This information is generally met with shock, disdain, and criticism (if I'm lucky). I will atttempt to explain why I choose not to participate in the voting process.

When I was younger I felt that I should stay out of the election because I did not know enough about the candidates to make an informed choice. That is no longer my main reason for refusing to cast a ballot. It is, however, still a valid reason for anyone out there thinking about not voting to not vote. Why make a decision such as who to vote for if you feel you don't posess enough information?

I'm doing this wrong. I know I am. But onward I push. Let's see, I've consult my notes and see if I can start somewhere else...

The message to vote is everywhere. 7-11, WB Commercials, MTV, McDonalds, even Nickelodeon. (That all important under 18 vote is vital. More on that in a minute) When something is as ubiquitous (and largely unquestioned) as this, it makes me worried. WHY is voting so important? The question should not be "Why don't you vote, P@?" but instead, "Why should people vote at all?" Frankly, I'm of the opinion that if something is really important, it doesn't need to be pounded into us constantly. When there are billboards telling everyone to Vote Early, when the news (television, newspaper, internet, radio) talks about voting EVERY DAY, when you can't go into any public building without being harrased to register to vote...that sends warning flags to me. If voting were so damn important, so necessary to one's well-being, people wouldn't need to be reminded daily, hourly. It would be second nature. Do you need a billboard saying to love your family? Do you need the news to remind you each night to be thankful for your friends? Where is the person outside the library hounding folks to remind them to eat?

So the message is out there - VOTE, it's important. But as with so many aspects of out culture, the "WHY?" is never given. Nobody questions. "Oh, the experts say, 'We must vote' and the experts are never wrong. So we must vote." Or, same sentence, but replace "experts" with "tradition".

I think that perhaps, if anyone were to question why voting is so important, they might answer that "voting makes one's voice heard". Mm-hmm. See also: Everyone that hates George W. Bush. See also: Everyone that hates Bill Clinton. See also: Everyone that hates George Bush the First. And so on. Any time there is an election, it means that someone's voice (as much as 49% - or more, due to the electoral college) is "not" being heard - EVEN IF THEY VOTED.

Semi-related is the often touted "guilt-inducer" that voters will use: "You can't complain if you don't vote."

ARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!

Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong!!!!!!!

A) It is written nowhere that if you do not vote you have no voice. Not in the Constitution, not in any of the laws, nowhere. And if it were, that would make me sick. I can't complain - I can't voice my opinion, I can't say how much I dislike (or like - interesting that people never say, "You can't be happy with the situation, because you didn't vote.") something - because I didn't cast a ballot? Where is the logic in that? Your voice is something that you OWN. Voting has nothing to do with it. They're mutually exclusive. If I don't like the president (and I don't) I am going to say so, regardless of whether I punched a computer screen saying so or not. And anyone that tells me I can't ...

That phrase just boils my blood. You can't complain because you didn't vote. Bah! Does that mean that women (pre-1926) couldn't complain? Slaves? Does that mean that children can't complain about their conditions? Does that mean that ex-criminals can't? Or the homeless? What about animals? Birds can't complain about the air quality, because they can't vote. Lakes? Trees?
That's the other thing - voting doesn't count their voices.
Because someone was convicted of a crime, does that mean that they should not have a say in how their lives are run?
Because someone is under the age of 18, they don't have rights? Their input is somehow less valid?
Because someone is not human, this means that we should not take into consideration their importance?

Voters say "Yeah, that's right."

Voting reinforces the belief that there is One Right Way to live.

That alone is enough to make me never want to vote. Would you want someone choosing your religion for you? Would you want someone choosing what your meals were? Would you want someone to choose what you wore? Or who your friends are?
If not, then why are you voting? Why would you want to dictate to people you've never met, say, in Bismark, North Dakota, what way they should live their lives? And for presidential elections it's worse, because the president of the united states has WORLD impact. So by electing John Bush or George Kerry or ANYONE, you are having an impact (perhaps slight) on the way in which people in South Africa are living. That's mindboggling. And not in a good way.

Quick question - would you vote for a candidate who disagrees with your position on abortion? What about the death penalty? Or health care?
Two points with this - 1) You're never going to find a candidate who agrees with you on every "issue". 2) What do you do if you don't believe in the "issues" at all?
And this ties back in to the reinforcement of the belief that there is One Right Way to live. You casting a vote for Candidate X is, in essence, saying, "I believe that this person knows the best way for EVERYONE to live. His opinions are mine (or close enough) and our opinions should be those of everybody." Leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth.

Kurt Vonnegut said, "Only psychopaths want to be president." What does that say about the people who believe we need one?

There are (depending on where you look for the details) between 50 million and 100 million people who are eligible to vote, that do not. And that's in the US alone. And that's only counting the "eligible" voters. Shouldn't the fact that so many votes are not cast count for something? I'm of the firm belief that NOT voting IS a vote. Dictionary.com agrees with me.
Vote is defined as
"To express one's preference for a candidate or for a proposed resolution of an issue; cast a vote: voting against the measure.
To express a choice or an opinion."
My not voting is simply stating that I prefer to have NO candidate, thank you very much. Also - "a proposed resolution of an issue" made me chuckle. When has an "issue" ever been "resolved"?

People think that voting is important because they have been misled into thinking that it gives them some power. It does not. It allows them the illusion of power, the illusion of choice. And even then, the power that it is supposedly giving them is power over OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES. God.

I was going to tell an amusing story about a town that was trying to decide what the City Drink should be - Pepsi or Coke, and how one guy only wanted water...but it's too long to tell here, and I've rambled enough. Plus, I've told the points of the story already. Maybe some other day. But just remember that Coke and Pepsi are really good allegories for the political parties. Nader would probably be Diet Coke, or something like that.

See, I want Bush out of the White House as much as the next guy. The difference being, I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO MOVE IN. Replacing Coke with Pepsi means you'd still have a soda as the drink. And your body needs water.

All of this vote-bashing still hasn't even touched on the problems with the voting system itself. The news has done a pretty good covering of those basis - Chads, the electoral college, electronic voting machines. So even if you do choose to vote, the likelihood of your voice being heard is crippled.

Maybe, though, I'm wrong. Maybe I should just go ahead, and despite my preferences to have no president, go and vote. Go and reinforce that stupid belief that there is One Right Way to live. I mean, the more people vote, the better, right?

Imagine an election that had 100% turnout. (100% elegible turnout, remember, we don't want to hear the voices of anyone that may have committed a "crime" or doesn't own a house) 100% turnout is the ideal goal of democracy, right? So...if everyone who could vote did, what would that solve? How on earth would that make anything better?
Now imagine an election where nobody showed up. Where Bush and Kerry and Nader and Cobb and all the other psychopaths didn't have any support. Where nobody agreed with them. Where nobody said, "This guy knows the best way to live."

The person who knows how best to run your life is YOU. Not some rich white guy that you've never met. Hell, not some internet weirdo who only a handful of you have ever met, either. Voting (or not) is up to you. I've made my decision.

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans

I know that many of you are suffering the effects of having gone Cold Turkey with Ape10. I apologize. I've added links to the episodes on the sidebar in hopes that it will rekindle the old imagination and new eps will be forthcoming. Perhaps, if you'd like, you can reread the series. It would be just like starting over. Imagine that.

Happy birthday, Mr. Lennon.

This isn't the post you're looking for.

In my head, that was said in Ben Kenobi's Jedi Mind Trick Voice.

So, yeah, this won't be the big political post, because I keep putting that off. It should (SHOULD) be posted before Election Day. I just have to get off my arse and write it. I swear, though, telepathy would be much easier. If you could all just read my thoughts it would save everyone a lot of trouble.

Moving on, I ran a movie called Spanish Judges the other day at work, and while not a great movie, it wasn't horrible either. It was one of those B-ish crime movies that doesn't have a single moral character. Everyone is double crossing everyone else, and you wait for the end to see who gets what they deserve and who gets what they think they want. Good stuff.

But the ending confused me.

I won't give anything away, but if anyone out there has seen it and wants to discuss the film's final shot (I'm talking about Mars Girl here), let me know.

Utah was good, but felt too short. It was nice to get into the wilderness, or at least away from the hustle and bustle of Las Vegas for a few days. On the way back home, we drove through some sort of freak lightning storm that was incredible to behold. The sky was lit nearly contstatly, and the winds were quite strong. Good times.

In other news, I can't seem to send songs to people anymore. When I copy them off a CD, they are Windows Media File types, and apparently can be sent to other people, but they can't hear them. I don't like it.

Get out of the town!

We're going out of town for the weekend. Get away from the big city, and enjoy some of the natural world that is Southern Utah. yay!

Didn't have anything else to say, but I was getting tired of my old entry staring me in the face. Update about that situation, for those who are curious - 13 was still there the next day, but by that evening were allowed back into their building. They bought cake and sodas for the entire station on Friday. Free Pepsi. Excellent. Although I still would've prefered dinner. Just sayin'.

Once we get back from this mini-vacation, I'll finally get around to posting that political entry I've been brewing over for the past six months or so. Cha-ching!

I keep getting a (t)error message.

Ugh. That was a horrible title.

Anywhat, so yesterday was all Action Packed! (HA!! Dude, I'm amusing myself (to death!) with my wit. And probably nobody else. Oh well. At least I'm getting some use out of it.)

Explanation time!

Stuff not related to the Big News of yesterday, but still fun to report: We went to the park with the Life Learners group, and several other families showed up! I played tag with a bunch of children, ranging in ages from 5 to ...14ish? Aside from the side effect of a mild breathing attack ([rolleyes] Note to lungs - get with it. Asthma is so last century), the running and chasing was very fun.

After leaving the park, we (just the Spsh! Clan) ate at Pizza Hut. Mmmm. Pizza.

Then, I had to go to work. I gathered up Jupe's letter, my notebook, and my latest book from the library, all in hopes that I would be able to write back to Amy and perhaps read some of Nothing Human. That was the plan anyway. And we all know what happens when something is planned...

Now, our station has always had a parking problem. (Heh. "Parking problem" sounds like "drinking problem". Which is leading to smile-worthy images in my brain.) Anyway, more often than not when I arrive at work in the afternoon, I end up having to park in the parking lot of the offices next door, because there simply is no more room in our lot. (I've mentioned this to Amy, but I'll say it here too, just because it's kinda interesting: People will park in the Fire Lanes, and in the 20 minute parking spots, and even right in front of the door - but the Handicapped Parking spots are always left vacant.)

So. Long story made a bit shorter - I pull into the other parking lot...and can't find a spot in there either. I ended up finding a place to park at the very end of the parking lot next door. Which resulted in me having to walk ...not too much, maybe 1/5th of a mile. Still, I would have been on time if I could've parked closer. But I'm not bitching about that. It just seemed...unusual, was all.

So I get into the building, and there are an inordinate amount of people there. If I had been thinking clearly, I would've made the connection between extra people and less parking, but that synapse didn't meet until later.

I enter the master control room (which had the door propped open and a LOT of additional bodies inside) and am finally informed of the Really Big News of the day.

Channel 13 (the ABC affiliate) was sent a package earlier in the day. The package, apparently, contained a powdery substance. (No word on if there was a message included or not) Getting this in the mail was scary enough for Channel 13 to evacuate their building. Their programing was still on the air - being done remotely from inside their news truck, apparently - but they needed to broadcast the news from somewhere. That somewhere wound up being our building. It was rather interesting to have our building housing THREE television stations. Although I'm glad that I'm not extremely claustrophobic.

All in all, it didn't affect me very much. I helped them out by building break reels (translated means - pushing lots of buttons and moving a mouse), and by staying out of the way, mostly. The most frustrating thing was not having any information given to us. By the time I left at 11, I still didn't know if the HazMat team had discovered anything, or if Ch. 13 would be there tomorrow, or still be there next week, even. Stuff that I did pick up along the way:
The CBS affiliate (maybe others as well?) has said they will not be opening their mail until this situation is cleared up.
Another ABC affiliate (in Phoenix) also received a package with powder in it, on Monday. Theirs turned out to be "nothing".
ABC people didn't buy us dinner. =(

So, yeah, I didn't get to write Amy's letter or read any of my book. Talk about a wasted day.

On the bright side, though, the traffic department has Halloween candy sitting out now. And that includes candy corn!!

Oh, there was also an earthquake in California. And Mt. St. Helens may be erupting again soon.

What's the big idea?

My friends, I am, if nothing else, a man of ideas.

Okay, I'm a lot more than that, but my ideas are one of the things I like most about myself.

Recently, I decided that keeping my ideas to myself is no good. I should set them free, let them into the wild and see how they pollenate. Or amuse. Or something.

So, here are some of my thoughts on ...stuff. Feel free to rate them, or criticize them, or add your own. None of them are meant to be (entirely) serious (or are they?) so it won't hurt my feelings if you tell me why it would never work, or that I'm insane, or whathaveyou. On we go.

Food

• Peanut butter and jelly burritos.
  
  
• Jack-o-melon! Instead of carving pumpkins for Halloween, carve watermelons.
  
  
• Edible shampoo. Eat breakfast while showering! Plus, the shampoos already are made in strawberry, apple, orange, etc scents, so why not flavored as well?
  

TV

• Pendragon - a show about King Arthur. Maybe as a teen. WB, are you paying attention?
  
  
• Spin Cycle - a comedy (or drama, whatever) set in a laundromat. Think of all the guest star possiblities!
  
  
• The Bible. That book has not been mined for the television possiblities, much to my dismay. A show about Jesus? Or Moses? Or Whoses? Totally there, man. Totally there.
  
  
• Who Wants To Kill A Milionaire? - My only idea for "reality" TV. A televised paintball game wherein the "survivor" wins the pot. Even better if it's set in a shopping mall.
  
  
• Ape10 - A series about a shapeshifting ape, a robot, and a zombie time travelling while fighting The Man? It would either be the highest rated show ever, or cancelled halfway through it's first episode..

Blanket of my existence

So I watched Angel episode 1.09 (Hero) today, and I got goosebumps. I didn't the first time I watched it, but this time, even though I knew Doyle was gonna sacrifice himself, the music, and the hackneyed speeches got to me. Perhaps it was partly due to the knowledge that Glenn Quinn's real life ended shortly (relatively) thereafter, but I think mostly it's because I'm such a sap.

The girls are taking turns showing movies. Currently "Zombies: The First Movie" is airing. Sample dialog:

"Now for my super power, which I just made up!"
and
"You wanna piece of me?" "You wanna battle? Battle like never before?"

It's quite moving, actually.

I need a better computer, so that's I can download stuff. I miss our songs, damnit. All of our beautiful, illegally downloaded songs!!

Didn't brush the fro today, so it is bushtastic right now. Go team nature!

They should totally make waterproof computers, because I really do my best blogging in the shower.

My face itches.

I'm quite relieved that I don't work today. Yesterday resulted in a massive headache, all due to football.

Brains, I have determined, are the weirdest things ever.

grumble

Not in a good mood. At all.

Stupid internet. Stupid blogger. Stupid stupid stupid civilization. Stupid work. Stupid words. Stupid this and stupid that.

Stupid looks wrong now.

I'm still template-tinkering, but I'll be doing it "off stage" until I get the completed design done. Until then, I think I'll go minimalistic.

In other news, it would be beneficial if people would stop needing money from us. Since we don't have any.

Under construction

I'm messing with the template, so if things look odd for a while, you know why. Hopefully soon I'll find something that appeals to my blogging sense of aesthetics.

In the meantime, pardon my dust, and if you have any suggestions, send them my way.

Know your audience

I seem to have picked up a few new readers. (Or have I??) Either way, I'm doing a stalker roll call. But just having people say "Yeah, I read your blog" is kinda dull (although the validation is a nice bonus for me) so I'm including a boq as well.
You of course, are not obligated to leave a comment, nor are you required to answer the following boq, but both would be nice. And I am making a nice template for you.



<b>What is your name?</b>

<b>How did you enter The P@rix?</b>

<b>What is your blog address?</b>

<b>Find a movie that came out the year you were born. Now provide a quote from it.</b>

<b>What is the last thing you ate?</b>

and finally...

<b>Make a sweeping generalization. (They're fun!)</b>

I feel like I have a gabillion other things I want to talk about, but all in good time, I suppose. Thanks for your participation.