Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Wolf3

After I wrote the first draft of Wolf (located here, in case you're interested in seeing how it's evolved), I attempted to expand it.

Here are the three other attempts, in order:
Take 1:

"Excuse me, Driver?"

Jason Wolf turned to face the passenger that was requesting his attention. A young Hispanic looking woman, dressed in a professional looking suit with exquisite earrings and a matching necklace was squatted near the driver seat, a very concerned look on her face.

"Yes, ma'am?" Jason acknowledged.

"There are several people back here who seem pretty sick. Like maybe some food poisoning or something?" the woman spoke quite quickly.
Jason was pretty sure that she spoke that way all the time, but the fact that there was a potential crisis brewing probably acerbated the situation.

Her diagnosis of food poisoning was probably a correct one. Greyhound Buses constantly stopped at greasy spoon restaurants that did hell on one's digestive tracks. Jason considered his own gut as evidence. He wasn't overly large, not like some of the other drivers he had seen. It seemed that you could usually determine how many years of service a person had under their belt by looking at their belt. The rule of thumb seemed to be that for every year on the job, another five pounds were added. Jason was following that rule to the letter, as he could certainly stand to lose at least 20 pounds.

Jason shook his head to refocus on the situation at hand. "How many people are displaying symptoms, ma'am?" he asked as he glanced in his mirror, looking at the thirty eight passengers, trying to determine for himself what was so bad that a civilian would bother to alert the driver.

Jason could see three people who were obviously in a state of distress. One of them was a male, his age was hard to determine from the position he was in, but he looked young. The person seated next to him was an older man, probably in his late sixties, who was very thin, and had long flowing grey hair. He gave off an aura of a grandfatherly hippy type, probably helped by the fact that he was wearing a tie-dye
t-shirt and tan khakis. His skin was quite tan, and he looked as though he could be of Native American descent.The older man was rubbing the back of his ill companion and muttering something that Jason could not hear, but assumed was words of comfort.

The second person was three rows further back, and was most likely the Hispanic woman's co-passenger. She was also dressed professionally, but she was not looking good. Her head was back and she was perspiring heavily enough that even from the quick glance Jason had of her, he could see the pools of sweat on her forehead. She let out a low moan that made Jason cringe in sympathy pains.

The third was a short,stocky white man who appeared to be in his fifties. He was traveling alone, it seemed, as there was nobody near him. He rose from his seat, clutching his head and grimacing. Jason figured he would be the next to approach him, probably ask him to stop for medical assistance.

The woman at his side answered his question, "Meredith – that's my friend I'm traveling with – is one of them, and it looks like there are two other men who are also not feeling well."

Jason looked out the front window at the freeway passing by. They were just less than one hundred miles from Las Vegas, their destination. Mesquite was the next major city on the route, and if they needed immediate medical attention that would be the place they would stop. Vegas was an hour away, maybe an hour and a half. Mesquite would be
reachable in 35 minutes. They were about to enter the Virgin River Gorge, which was one of the most nerve racking parts of the drive, with all the twists and high crosswinds that were on that portion of the freeway. Additionally, while in the Gorge, cell phone service was spotty, at best, and getting a hold of Dispatch was not guaranteed either. If a crisis was about to erupt on board, being out of communication was not something that Jason wanted. On the other hand, traveling through the Gorge took at most, ten minutes, and they would have to get through it regardless, so the sooner he passed to the other side, the sooner they would be able to get medical help, if they needed it. Taking into consideration that it was already almost 7:00 and that it was dark out, he did not think stopping early was a
good idea.

"Okay, ma'am, thank you for bringing this to my attention. Why don't you return to your friend right now, and I'll make an announcement about our next stop." Jason advised.

The woman nodded and began to head back to her seat when many things happened both in the bus and out. Interstate 15 was rather busy that night. Jason watched as the sports car in front of him began to swerve in an erratic manner. He slowed down, giving himself a wide berth from the vehicle, in hopes that the driver was simply one of those hundreds of idiots who spoke on their cell phones while driving, and had lost cell phone reception and was losing control temporarily.

Going the opposite direction on the freeway, Jason noticed a semi truck driver with his eyes squeezed shut in pain. Time began to slow down as he watched the man pound his head on the steering wheel, all the while still gripping it, and that vehicle - a much larger danger than the sports car ahead of him - began to slow down and drive
erratically. Horns blared from the cars and trucks that were in danger of being struck by the 18 wheeler.

Jason picked up his intercom and addressed the bus passengers. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," he began. "It seems that some of our fellow passengers have become ill. I am going to have to make an unscheduled stop in the town of Mesquite, in order to.... Jesus!" The sports car had swerved first completely into the left lane, then
overcompensated back into the right, and had gone off the freeway entirely. The speed at which the automobile had been moving was fast enough for the shoulder bridge holder thing (safety shoulder rail??) snapped and the car went over the ridge, disappearing into the darkness of the dark Virgin River hundreds of feet below.

Jason could hear horns honking in the distance. Another vehicle - a green SUV - zipped past them. Jason saw them begin to slow down. He instinctively reached for the dispatch intercom but absent mindedly put it back in the holder and began to slow down so that he could stop and investigate the accident he had just witnessed.
In a moment of prescient abilities, his mind began to scream at him - "There's something not right here. You've got sick people on board, and other people crashing and swerving. There must be something making people sick. Some kind of terrorist attack, maybe. Something is not right.".

Before he could pursue this train of thought any further, he was interrupted by the sick passengers onboard. The stocky white man had collapsed into the aisle, facedown. Two men from across the row had started to get up to help him.

Meredith was also getting worse. She had begun to wail, and thrash about, almost as though she were having a seizure. Her friend, the woman who had approached Jason to begin with mere minutes ago – although it felt like much longer as things progressed to get worse – was panicking near her, trying to calm her friend, and not doing a very good job.

The white haired man’s sick friend was also no better. Although the older gentleman did appear to be handling the crisis much more competently than anyone else seemed to be.

Jason spoke to the bus again, “If everyone will remain calm and in their seats please. I am going to pull over and request some assistance.”

Meredith’s friend yelled, “My friend is in trouble! She’s really sick; I think she might be dying!”
Jason began to slow the bus down and pull onto the shoulder. The air brakes on the bus hissed as the speed decreased. At least three other cars sped past them on the freeway. As the bus shuddered to a halt next to the 500 foot drop to the Virgin River below, Jason activated the emergency flashers. He unbuckled his seat belt and got out of his seat, addressing the passengers from the head of the bus in his best authoritative voice, “Is anyone on board a doctor or have any medical training?”

“Oh my God!” screamed one of the men who had been going to assist the sick fat guy in the aisle. He pointed at the man’s body as Jason watched in amazement. The overweight fellow was …changing.

The man’s skin – a (overly) healthy pink – had begun to grow more hair on it. In fact, the man’s entire body was beginning to have hair erupt on it. Although the hair was so thick, that it would be more accurate to call it fur. But, Jason’s rational mind protested, humans don’t have fur.

He tried to avoid the next logical step in that chain of thought, but it was inevitable: This guy is not human.

All of that took place in about three seconds, as Jason, and the others on the bus watched in dumbstruck terror as Meredith, overweight guy, and white haired’s friend all began to morph. The metamorphosis was rapid, and judging by the moans the victims were emitting, very painful.

Jason took his focus off overweight guy and looked at Meredith instead. The woman was completely covered in dark brown fur now, her face no longer recognizable as a human’s. Her eyes were shut tight and she had her mouth open. Jason could visibly see her teeth growing. She began to shake her head as though she were irritated by something, wanting to shoo away an annoying fly or something that were bugging her. Or perhaps she was just saying “No” to what was happening to her, begging the forces at work to prevent it from happening. If so, the higher powers were not listening.
Meredith – or the thing that once was Meredith, Jason wasn’t sure that it was accurate any longer to think of these people as the souls they had once been – was struggling to get out of her clothes. Her body had grown from the lithe figure that had been in the seat originally. In fact, Jason thought he could hear the bones stretching and the flesh expanding on the three poor people. Whether that was fact or Jason’s mind simply making things up due to being overtaxed by events that should not be happening, Meredith was bigger than she had started out. And that meant her outfit was too tight to be comfortable.

The female brought her right hand – it could almost be called a paw at this point due to the amount of fur it had on it – to the collar of her dress, gripped it, and pulled down forcefully. The fabric ripped revealing the woman’s torso, which was entirely covered in fur. She then clutched at her chest, and Jason idly wondered if maybe she was having a heart attack, but instead she was only removing her bra, which had not been visible beneath the amount of fur on her body.

The transformation was nearly complete at this point. A tail had emerged from the backside of the poor woman. It was just under a foot in length, and quite bushy. Some part of Jason’s numb brain whispered, Werewolves. He had, of course, seen the movies growing up, and heard stories, and even had gone through a phase during his youth where he idolized them – who hadn’t, really? Werewolves were a popular monster myth in American culture.
But until just then, Jason had always believed them to be just that – myths. Not real. Make believe fiction used as metaphor or escapism.


For whatever reason, that wasn't flowing after that point, so I abandonded it and went on to write version 2:
PROLOGUE


“Impossible!”
The Warden listened in disbelief as the report grew increasingly depressing. “Two inmates escaped. One guard incapicated. One vehicle stolen.”

The Warden took a relaxing breath before issuing the commands. It was important to remain level headed. Yes, the situation was bad, but the inmates would slip up. And when they did, the Warden would be there, ready to pounce.

“Lock down the facility. Nobody in or out. Issue an APB. Notify our agents in…” The Warden consulted the Intel to see where the prisoners were most likely going. “…Oregon of the situation, and tell them to expect me personally. Let them know that the criminals will most likely attempt to blend in, and that they are extremely dangerous. Do not underestimate these two. That is how we got in the situation we are in now. I admit, that was my mistake. I won’t make it again.”

The Warden breathed deeply again. It was going to be a long night.
*****


“Jesus, Nichols, slow down!” Jason shouted.

Trevor Nichols rolled his eyes, but decelerated slightly. “C’mon, Wolf, we gotta get some distance between us and the warden. No doubt they’ve noticed our disappearance by now. In about half an hour, every damn cop between here and Corvallis will be looking for us.”

“Right,” Jason Wolf agreed. “So it does us no good to get pulled over for speeding. We should probably ditch this car, too. My gut tells me that it’s been reported stolen. Last thing we need is for them to know exactly what we’re driving. But first things first. We get the cash, hook up with Heidi, and get the hell out of the country.”

“I still have reservations about involving your girl, man.”

“And I’ve told you, Heidi is trustworthy. She’s also the mother of my child, and I’m going to take care of them, no matter what.”

Trevor turned a corner sharply. A minivan in the other lane swerved slightly and honked. Trevor flipped the driver the bird, and turned back to Jason. “Two things, Wolf man. One – ‘taking care of them’ is how you got yourself busted to begin with, if you recall.
“And two – the longer we stick around, the more chance there is of us being caught. No way am I going back. No broad, no kid, hell, no friendship is worth that.”

Jason silently took this in and the air around the two inmates grew slightly uncomfortable.

“No offense,” Trevor offered.

“None taken,” Jason replied gravely. “I understand where you’re coming from, Nichols. I don’t plan on going back either. We’re in this together, right? I mean, neither one of us could have escaped without the other’s help, so as far as I am concerned, we’re still equal partners. And if you want to split once we get the stash, I’ll be okay with that. Turn here on the left.”

Trevor turned onto a dirt road, off the main street. Within minutes the Oregon forest surrounded them. The clear night sky illuminated the way while the full moon hung low.

Jason continued to guide Trevor through the off roads, grimacing as his companion drove over some particularly rough areas rather haphazardly. Finally, they came upon a large oak tree that towered above the others. The gnarled bark and knots in the trunk gave it a very ugly look, that in the moonlight produced faces of the damned staring out at the two criminals.

“Here.” Jason said.

Trevor killed the engine and they stepped out of their stolen car.

Two shooting stars zipped overhead. An owl hooted nervously.

Trevor looked at his partner, “Here? You hid the cash here?”

Jason nodded. “All four million of it.” He walked over to the massive tree and began running his fingers over the bark, feeling around in the near darkness.
Trevor reached inside the car and turned the headlights on to provide more light, then walked over near Jason and watched.

Finding a large hole in the trunk, Jason reached his arm deep inside the tree. He smiled as he grabbed the bag that he had placed there two and a half years ago, before he had been arrested for bank robbery. The briefcase was still in relatively good shape after the years of neglect.

He pulled the case out of the tree and set it on the ground. Trevor hooted in joy upon seeing it. “Wolf man, you are my freakin’ hero!!” he shouted.

“Yeah,” Jason said, “which makes this all the more tragic for you.”

Trevor barely had time to register the meaning of the words Jason had uttered before the first bullet hit him in the shoulder. “Whu?” was what Trevor said in utter surprise.

Jason Wolf held the smoking gun in his hand and fired a second time, hitting Trevor Nichols directly in the chest. The convict fell onto the ground, and rolled over, attempting to claw away from his would be assassin.

Jason took the steps quickly, pointed the gun at the back of Trevor’s head, and fired two more shots, obliterating the man’s skull.

He then reached into Trevor’s pocket and retrieved the car keys. He walked back over to the bag filled with the money. He reloaded the gun, closed up the case, and got into the car.

He drove about five feet before stopping the car, opening the door, leaning out, and vomiting up his last meal. When he was done, he began to cry. I can’t believe I just did that, he thought. Jesus. Murder.

He shook his head clear of thoughts, and began to drive back to the main street. By his calculations, he had roughly ten more minutes before the police would begin looking for him and Nichols in earnest. He knew that Heidi would be one of the first places the cops would begin their hunt, so he had to get to her first.

So much to do, so little time. But so, oh so much money.



As Jason Wolf, loving father, long time bank robber, first time murderer, pulled out onto the main street, a police cruiser sped past him. The black and white did not have its sirens on, which was a good sign in Jason’s view. It also did not stop *him*, which was an even better sign.

Jason turned on the radio, and switched over to the news station, to see if their escape had made it to the media yet. If it had, it was not, apparently, a big enough story to warrant covering. Jason was not deemed a dangerous criminal, and until ten minutes ago, hadn’t been. True, he had robbed several banks, and had used guns in order to do so, but he had never actually shot anyone.

Nichols, on the other hand, had been in for a multitude of crimes. Murder being one of them. He had harmed people, including a guard during their escape. The guard had not been killed – Jason had made sure that he was still alive when Nichols had left his unconscious body on the floor – but assault of an officer did not go over well with the police force.

Jason considered for a moment the fact that Trevor most likely would have killed him, had the situation arose. Nichols was not a good man, and, while it may have been justification speaking, Jason believed that the world was better off with Trevor Nichols dead. He’d done a good thing by executing him. Trevor free in the world would have been bad enough. But Trevor free in the world with millions of dollars would have been exponentially worse.
And Jason didn’t even want to think about what Trevor would have done around Heidi and Matthew.


And then, several months later, I tried again, with version the third (or, um, I guess 4th, if you include the original blog entry):


Chapter 1


Jason Wolf was standing in line at the bank when the two men brandishing guns and wearing ski masks brazenly strode into the building.

There were five other people in line in front of Jason. A tall elderly man wearing a checkered business casual shirt, and holding a cane. An attractive woman who appeared to be in her mid thirties, with curly blond hair. The woman was holding the hand of a young child. The boy, who was no older than four was wearing a Spider-man t-shirt, and had curly blond hair just like his mother. Jason smiled at the kid, because he reminded him of his own son, Matthew, before he had gotten ill.
There was also a young man who was tattooed and had a very thick neck. His hair was cut extremely short, and he was wearing a t-shirt with “Ministry” printed on it. He was also talking on a cell phone, much to Jason’s annoyance.

Other than the customers, there was one security guard – who appeared rather bored prior to the invasion – and three bank employees. Two of them were tellers, the other one may have been a teller, but was not actively helping anyone at a counter, but instead doing work in the background.

Jason’s heart was pounding before the men even walked in. The planning stage of the robbery had been going on for almost a month now, and it was finally going to happen. He needed this to go down without a hitch. The success rate for bank robberies was pretty high, Jason knew, but on the downside, often the robbers did not make enough money to ‘live’ off of. Jason didn’t want to make bank robbery a career (although he felt that he did have a knack for certain aspects of it); he only needed to obtain a quick influx of cash so that he could pay for the medical bills that Matthew had racked up in the past two months. His medical insurance coverage was taking care of some of the payments, but not nearly enough. He and Heidi had had to borrow money in order to make last month’s rent. Jason’s younger sister, Vivien, had loaned them several thousand dollars, which had been a godsend, but the shame that Jason felt having to borrow from family was enormous. And while Viv claimed she was happy to help – especially for her nephew – she didn’t have enough money to bail her older brother out of all his financial difficulties. (Yet.)

This was why this robbery had to be perfect. Jason felt as though he were out of options. He’d done as much plea bargaining and begging and payment arranging as he could do. If he could manage to get a hundred thousand (or more) out of this heist, things would be much much better.

Jason eyed the security guard. The man looked to be in his forties, but seemed to give off a Barney Fife type of aura. The pistol in his holster might be a problem, but Jason suspected he would not be able to pull it fast enough. Besides, even if he had, it would be no match against the shotguns that his partners would be using. And lastly, Barney would be thrown off by the fact that while it appeared that there were two gunmen doing the robbery, there was actually a third working the job.

The Ministry customer in front of Jason was much more worrisome. If that guy attempted to play hero, someone – most likely him – could end up injured or dead. Jason did not want anyone to be harmed. He merely wanted to get the cash and get out. The other problem Ministry guy posed was his phone. All he had to do was hang up and dial 911 and all the planning would be for naught. Luckily, Jason had taken cell phones into consideration when preparing the crime.

The customers that were being helped by the tellers both finished up at the same time, and walked out. The elderly man and the young mom both began walking toward the employee counters in order to complete their transactions.

Jason saw the men approaching. There was no turning back now. This was the point of no return.
With a deep breath, Jason closed his eyes, and visualized Matthew healthy and whole again. He then pushed the button on the device in his pocket. The lights flickered briefly inside the bank. Nobody was aware yet, but Jason had just cut the security cameras and the bank alarm was now disabled.
The man on the cell phone said, “Hello?” and looked at his display – which was completely blank. A confused look crossed his face, and he pushed a few buttons, trying to get his phone to operate again. “What the hell?” he said. Jason kinda chuckled to himself. That guy’s cell, the security alarms, and all the electronic devices within the building – including the computers the bank employees were using- would be nonoperational for the next ten minutes. The EMP that Jason had used had made sure of that.
The employees were experiencing computer problems as well. “My screen just went down.” One of the women said. “Mine too,” the other employee commiserated. “I’m sorry, folks, it looks like we had some kind of power surge, and our computers are temporarily down,” the manager stated to the customers.

It was at that moment that Jason’s partners, Trevor Nichols and Keith Stelman, entered the building.

“Everybody down, now!” the larger of the two men, Trevor, yelled. His voice carried extremely well in the enclosed space. All ten of the people in the bank turned to look at him. Even Jason was impressed with how into the role Trevor was getting. None of them had robbed banks before, but Trevor seemed quite adept at it so far.

Trevor pointed his shotgun at the customers and employees, while Keith aimed his weapon at the security guard. The guard had been reaching for his weapon, but Keith ordered the man to get down. “Floor!!” Keith yelled, indicating the floor to the guard in case he had forgotten where it was. The security guard raised his hands from his belt, and slowly got down on his knees, glaring at the armed men.

While this was going on, the mother had picked up her son and was shielding his face from the intruders. The young child began to cry, asking his mommy what was going on. She was attempting to calm him, but not having much success.

The old man and the Ministry guy had both gotten down on their bellies. Jason, too, had interlocked his hands behind his head and was down on the ground.

Trevor had walked over to the employees and handed them a large sack. “Put the money in the bag, quickly, and nobody will get hurt. And don’t try anything funny. No alarms, no dyes, no tricks.”

Meanwhile, Keith continued to have his gun pointing at the customers and the guard. “Gentlemen, empty your wallets,” he announced to the room. “You,” he said, indicating the mom, who looked absolutely terrified, “empty your purse. And take off that jewelry.”
He stepped across the room and knelt down next to the young woman. She eyed him nervously as he put his hand on her son’s head, in an attempt to calm the child said, “Don’t worry, little guy. We’ll be gone soon.”

The child looked at the man in the ski mask and said, “Are you a bad guy?”

Keith laughed. “Hey, Trev…” he stopped himself from using Trevor’s full name, but Trevor was irate. “Enough chit chat!” he hissed. “Get the wallets, we’re almost done here.”

Keith nodded, and scooped up the woman’s purse and necklace. He stopped at the kid and answered his question, “No, not really, kid. Just desperate is all.”

Keith walked over to pick up the wallets of the old man, the Ministry youth, and Jason. There were two reasons that Jason had planned for the people inside to be held up as well. The first was to keep tabs on everyone who happened to be there. He fully intended to pay back any money that they stole from the wallets and purses that they absconded. They were bank robbers, not petty thieves. The second, and more important reason, was so that Jason could pass the EMP device out of his pocket so that it would not be on his person when the police arrived.

All of the stuff was thrown into a separate bag that Keith was carrying. Trevor’s bag was filled with money from the bank tellers and handed back to him. Trevor opened the bag to investigate, and make sure that his previous directions had been followed, that there were no money dyes included.

As he was searching the bag, the Ministry guy had made silent gestures to Jason, indicating that he was planning on “playing hero”, just as Jason had feared he might. Jason had attempted to dissuade him of the idea, all the while, still pretending to be one of the victims of the robbery.

Keith pointed the shotgun in their direction – more so at Ministry guy than Jason, Jason noted thankfully – and shouted, “Hey! Don’t try anything stupid!”

As if on cue, while Keith, Trevor, and Jason were all distracted by this, the security guard leapt into action. Moving at a speed that surprised Jason, and unfortunately, Keith as well, Barney Fife retrieved his gun from his holster, sprang to his knees, and yelled, “Drop it!” He pointed his handgun at Keith, who had begun to turn his attention (and weapon) to the guard.

Jason yelled, “No!” just as the officer fired a bullet in Keith’s direction.

It was certainly a cliché, but it was true – from Jason’s perspective, everything slowed down as a million things happened at the same time.

The gunshot from the guard was deafening and the flash blinding as the bullet traveled the short distance across the room, striking Keith in the shoulder. Keith screamed in agony and cursed as he dropped his weapon. Trevor yelled in frustration and shock as he fired at the security guard. The sentinel’s gun had produced a thunderous explosion, but it was miniscule compared to the blast from Trevor’s shotgun. The shot hit Barney Fife in the upper thigh, and he dropped instantly, screaming in pain.

The woman with the child was screaming, the child was screaming, the elderly man was huddled on the floor, shaking, the Ministry guy was muttering, “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck” over and over, and the employees had disappeared behind the counters. Jason Wolf saw his fragile, beautiful plan of robbing the First Bank of Medford shatter into an irreparable mess. Worse, was the image of his son being healthy and all his financial problems shattered along with it. All he could say was “No.” He was crying “No” repeatedly. It was as if he and the Ministry adolescent were both trapped in some sort of bizarre vocabulary loop, constantly reiterating the only words their brains could properly process.

Trevor scrambled over to Keith, who was down on the ground, bleeding profusely. “Are you gonna make it?” Trevor asked. Keith responded with a hiss and a “Yeah, but it hurts like a motherfucker.” As he was starting to stand, he asked Trevor about the guard, “You didn’t kill him did you?”

Trevor shook his head. “I don’t think so. Leg shot, is all. …Why, did you want me to?”

Keith smirked in spite of himself. “No. We’re in a world of shit enough as it is. Let’s get the cash and get out of here before…”

Outside the bank, two police cruisers had arrived, with their siren lights on, but the sirens themselves in silent mode.

Trevor snapped at Jason, who was still huddled down on the ground. “I thought you took care of the alarms?”

Jason did not want to give up his cover yet. Trevor and Keith may be going down, but there was no need for him to go down with them. At this point, he might very well get out of here without being implicated in the crime. He did not respond to Trevor. Luckily, Trevor did not pursue his line of questioning. As far as everyone else was concerned, Trevor’s question about the alarms could have been directed to Keith.

The police that had arrived on scene stepped out of their vehicles. One of them used a bullhorn to speak to the bank. “Come out with your hands up and weapons down.”

“Oh, god,” the guard moaned weakly. “It hurts.”

Trevor stepped over to where the guard was and picked his gun up. He placed it in his pants and hissed at the security personnel, “Shut up! I need to think!”

“All right,” Trevor started, his voice somewhat shaky, nowhere near as confident as it had been fifteen minutes earlier when he had first come into the bank, “here’s what we’re going to do.

“All of you get up and get into that corner over there,” he pointed to the farthest corner from the entrance.

As the elderly man and the woman began to make their way to the corner, the Ministry youth stopped and said, “What about the guard? And your friend. They both have been shot, and need to go. Why don’t you let them get the help they need?”

“Why don’t you stop trying to tell me how to rob this place, punk?” Trevor shouted in return.

Oh, man, he’s cracking up.
Jason thought.

“But,” Trevor continued, “you make a good point.”

Ministry nodded slightly as if to say, “Yeah, I know I do.”

Trevor turned to his wounded partner and said, “Look, Keith, I don’t think you should stay in here. If I get out of here with the cash…”

Keith stopped him with a look of panic. “What are you implying, here? That I turn myself in, while you and Jason get away?”

Jason shot the men a worried, furtive glance at the sound of his name. If they blow my cover, so help me… Jason thought to himself. This situation was growing increasingly tense and Jason simply wished he could get it back on the plan. He considered what his implications were at this point – his fingerprints could conceivably be found on the EMP device. And, of course, if Keith and Trevor went to court, they would implicate him, and it would be his word against theirs. Jason had made sure – or so he thought – to destroy all traces of the paper trail that could lead to any of them. All the planning had been done via untraceable cell phones. The EMP had been ordered using a different address and names in a city several miles away. None of their communications had been done via email, so there was no computer trail. Nobody inside knew that Jason was involved. And, legally, he hadn’t actually done any of the robbing or threatening – or shooting. All he had done was taken out the security cameras. This was probably a jail worthy offense. But if he did end up convicted, he would undoubtedly get a lesser sentence than Keith or Trevor would.

However, Jason would prefer that he keep his jail time to a minimum. Or nonexistent at all. And at this point, he might be able to avoid that, if he kept cool. Hell, all three of them might still be able to remain free. Although the odds of that happening seemed to be dwindling with each passing second.


Will there be a 5th go of it? Time will tell...

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

This thursday is the CW Upfront. (2nd ever!!) [The other networks are doing theirs at various times this week. I'd talk about them, but I don't work for the other affiliates, so I'm not going to.]
Anyway. The point is that that means I'll have a topic to blog about on Thursday!! Assuming, of course, that I'm not so freaking exhausted by the end of the day that I can be bothered to.
Right now, I am so UTP@, and have such a skull-cracking headache, that it's impressive that I'm getting this boring non-entry written.

Work is ttally kicking my ass lately. With my supervisor being out, I've stepped up my responsibilities tenfold (or, at least threefold), and I just have to wonder why I care so much.

Monday, May 14, 2007

It's the start of a ...thing.

So, yeah. Youtube Mondays from here on out. Or until I get bored with it.

This week's videos are They Might Be Giants related. (Note that not every week will necessarily have themes. This week just does. Because TMBG rule.)

First up, a Lost/TMBG combo!


And two songs from them:





and, of course, after watching these (and even if you didn't), you are Older than you've ever been...

Saturday, May 12, 2007

clickclickclick

Warning: May cause obsessive-compulsive disorder.

(Yeah, I didn't really have anything to blog about today, so it's just a link to a fun time-wasting game. Also while you're there, try this one. I got up to the green level. The mirrored-inverted-moving levels are just insane)

Friday, May 11, 2007

A Million A Day

If aliens arrived on earth, (or, heck, it could be some disease, I suppose) and started killing random people - but always 1 million every single day, it would take them 17.8 years to eliminate the human race.

Possibly longer, since people would still be giving birth.

But imagine that. 1,000,000 people is just about the population of Las Vegas. So it would take 17 years of wiping Las Vegas off the planet every day before all humans were gone.

That is a lot of homo sapiens.

I've thought about having expanding that idea somehow into a story - but I don't really know where it would go. Maybe people start to figure out a pattern to which people are going to be killed? Or they attempt to fight back? I don't think that there is much of a story there. It's just an interesting fact that there are over 6.5 billion people on the planet, and that is a large number that I can't really comprehend.

But I have noticed that a good percentage of my story ideas involve some sort of crisis that impacts the entire human race. Not sure why that idea appeals to me, but it does keep arising in my consciousness. Maybe if I actually finished one of the stories, I wouldn't be so obsessed with that theme anymore. (heh)

Thursday, May 10, 2007

That was me

Sometime last night, around 10:58pm Pacific Time, you probably heard "NOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Sorry about that. Blame Lost.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Over worked brain

Just pretend this is part of the other post.

Or maybe I'll just delete that first one, since it was a non-post as it was.

Anyway.

Today was a strange day at work.

And...huh. Now that I'm going to sit down to type it out, I find that I don't want to talk about it. Smooth move, ex-lax. (heh.)

Let's see. What to talk about instead?

When I was a teenager, back in the days before caller ID [god, i'm old], my friends and I would spend a lot of our time making prank phone calls. One that was particularly amusing was when we would call up a fast food restaurant (it was KFC, if I remember correctly), ask for a manager, and then when the manager got on the phone, attempt to make a reservation.
Good times, man.

Eh. I still have my headache.

mimosa

I have a headache.

I should just save this as a draft and finish and publish it later. Instead, I'm going to hit publish now, and see if I blog later.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

The first 3 chapters

I am exhausted, so this will be brief.

I started my reread of the Harry Potter series today.

Observations:
Dumbledore says, "He'll have that scar forever." [eyebrow]
And, "Scars can be useful."

Hmm.

Nothing odd sticks out about Petunia at this point. Except that it is stated that the Dursleys and Potters have not seen each other for several years at the beginning - meaning that Petunia had never met her baby nephew, until the Tuesday when Voldemort was defeated.

Dudley Dursley's friend's name is Piers Polkiss. Many wizards and witches have names that are alleterative. (Erm. Not sure if that's a word, but I'm just pointing out that it's interesting that so many characters have the same letter for their first and last names, and that both of the aforementioned kids are [assumedly] Muggles...)

Hagrid borrowed the motorcycle from "young Sirius Black". But... wasn't Black in Azkaban at that point? (I need to keep that question in mind, for when I get to book 3)

I'm surprised at how quick the first three chapters went. Things were so much easier in the beginning...

Monday, May 07, 2007

Is that your walnut?

Random entry:

The creators of Lost announced today that the show will be ending in 3 seasons. They came to an agreement with ABC that the next 3 seasons will be 16 episodes a piece, resulting in 119 episodes total. Personally, I would've rather they stopped at 108, but I figure if I just ignore the Jack-centric episodes, it will most likely result in that anyway, so it's all good.
The good thing about this arrangement is that the writer's now have an end-goal in sight, and they can actually work toward that. Hopefully less filler episodes as a result.

I fired up the grill today, and made some awesome cheeseburgers and hot dogs for dinner. Mmm. I love this time of year when it's nice enough to actually enjoy being outside in the evening.

In the news today - there was a bomb that went off in a parking garage of a casino here in town. Apparently, an explosive device was left on top of a car in the parking garage of the Luxor. Around 4am, two employees were going back to their car. One of them attempted to remove the thing from the roof of the car, and it exploded, killing him.
It totally sounds like it was an episode of CSI.

I picked up Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone from the library today. (We own it, but it's currently packed away) I plan on reading about 3 chapters a day ...starting tomorrow, I think. There are 160 chapters in the 6 books, so doing 3 a day will result in me finishing before the 7th book is released. So, maybe not 3 every day. But, yeah, Steph rereading the books to the girls has me interested in rereading the series for myself. And maybe blogging about it on occasion. ;)

I also picked up a cd from The Minus 5. It's a little more countryish than the previous disc of theirs, but it's still enjoyable.

I keep squashing (or losing, temporarily) the drive to write. Ideas keep coming to me, though.
Current stories/story ideas I want to expand upon:

Wolf
Foreign Exchange
Choset/Fulle/Perth story
The Malfunctioners

An idea I had today - Aliens arrive on earth, and announce that in X number of days, they will be leaving, and they will be taking X number of worthy people with them.
I wonder what the reaction would be. Would people attempt to go with them? Try to stop other people from leaving? Try to kill the aliens? I don't know. It was just a thought that I had earlier in the day. My brain wanders at times.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

I'd like to meet his tailor

The problem with werewolves in the movies is their clothing.

When transforming into wolves, the clothes (generally) just vanish. [We watched the Buffy episode Beauty and the Beasts today, and it was quite guilty of that. Perhaps Oz's clothes just got absorbed into him?]

An American Werewolf in London got it right in their transformation scene, because David is in so much pain, he removes his clothing beforehand, and morphs in the nude. Good job, movie guys!!

Of course, magically disappearing (or appearing - see below) clothes are pretty rampant in tv and movies.

Heck, in the same episode of Buffy, Angel managed to track down a pair of leather pants, and, despite being out of his mind from hundreds of years of torment, got himself half-dressed!

And when You-Know-Who is reborn in the movie version of Goblet of Fire (another thing we watched today), he arrives complete with magic robes!

And of course, my long-standing complaint about souls/ghosts is that they always appear wearing whatever they died in. I guess fabrics have souls too.

But going back to werewolves - that was (one of) the biggest logistical block(s) when I was planning "Wolf". (Which I still do plan on writing....someday.) How to get past the clothing issue. I mean, yeah having wolf-creatures in various stages of undress might be more accurate, but it sounds kinda silly. (Or kinda terrifying, actually. Seeing some beast approaching you while it has half of Aunt Sally's skirt around it's waist might be disturbing.)
Huh. I guess that could work then.

Doesn't remedy the other end (the changing back. What would all these nearly nude people do?) And...you know, talking through this has actually helped spur some ideas...

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Dear youtube

Please create a feature wherein videos can display closed captioning. It doesn't have to be on all of them - that would be a gigantic undertaking - and it should most certainly be an option, not something automatically done, but it would be a most beneficial feature.

Sincerely,

P@, who currently has no working computer speakers

Friday, May 04, 2007

BONG!!!!

Back in 1988 ("Nineteen eighty eight, eighty eight!!") there was a short lived, although quite impressive, sci-fi television show called The War of the Worlds (Yes, it was based on/influenced by the novel by H. G. Wells and the radio drama from 1938 and the 1953 movie of the same name. The show was given a complete overhaul for it's second season, including a name change, and, the general [correct] consensus is that the changes were for the worse)

ANYWAY. While the show (and novel [and maybe the movie, I haven't seen the '53 version]) were worthwhile, this post is not exactly about the series.

In the show, there was a character named Dr. Harrison Blackwood. He was one of those 'free-thinking' types that Hollywood loves so much, and while he was a doctor, he used many unorthodox methods.
One of these was the usage of a tuning fork to help retrieve memories.

When my friends and I saw this, we found it hilarious. (It is rather funny in its outlandishness. I'm not sure whether it was intended to be or not.)
But, the point is, that we began to write stories - sometimes collaborating, sometimes working solo - where tapping a tuning fork would cause the character(s) to remember something else that had happened, even [and especially later] past lives. As the stories progressed, they more or less morphed to where the characters were not remembering the events, but actually time traveling with each 'bong' of the tuning fork, they would be transplanted to a different time (and place, usually). Depending on how deep the "bong" of the tuning fork was, the bigger the change in time/space.
(And, yeah, the fact that when I was 13 I was naive enough to not know the other meaning of 'bong' has definitely brought a wistful smile to my face.)
I'm fairly certain that there was an overall narrative to the tales, as jumbled as it ended up being. Although the fact that the 'bongs' of the tuning forks often worked as deus ex machinas probably would've made our English teachers cringe, they were incredibly funny to a bunch of 13 year old boys. Especially when the 'bong' would result in looping back to a previous memory/situation.

Brian, Matt, Jason and I really got into the Tuning Fork stories for a while there. (I even went so far as to buy a real tuning fork that I carried around. I was such a freaking NERD!!)

Sadly, all of the Tuning Fork stories are lost to the ages. I really do wish that I had kept some of them, or could remember how they went. Maybe I should look into getting a tuning fork.

Bong!!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Of the 15 or 23 people who read my blog, the following will only be of interest to maybe 4 or 8 of you. Yep, I'm talking Lost.

It's not a fully developed theory, and I don't know how much of it I buy myself, but ever since the seed of the idea came into my mind (sometime after "Catch 22" aired), it's been growing.


Spoilers for season 3 up through at least "The Brig" are below:

What if Smokezilla is God?
Not exactly the God of the Bible, but still, an omnipotent judging....being.

In Neil Gaiman's books, gods fade out of existence if people stop having faith in them. I really like the idea that god(s) have to survive on faith. What if that is what the island's security system has to live off of as well?

My island time line would go something like this: First, Dharma arrives on the island, and they either discover Smokezilla or create it. Either way, they start to worship it, maybe. And for a while, Smokezilla lives on a strict diet of Otherosity. That is the only "religion" that it knows, and everything is hunky-dory.

Then, Danielle and her crew show up on the island, and accidentally (?) cause an illness that kills pregnant women on the island.

Now, the Others have to start recruiting people to get to the island.

Somewhere along the way, Smoke(God)zilla learns that there are other faiths. So, since it wants to learn more about them, it begins to bring people of different faiths to the island - Desmond was a monk, Eko was a priest (actually Yemi was, and it brought Yemi there first), Jack has faith in science, John has faith ...in the island (which might be why the Others think he's "special"). Maybe the Island/Smokey/God is looking for a religion that it can call it's own. Maybe God is Lost, and wants to be Found.

Eh. Like I said, not a fully fleshed out theory, and I can confidently say that I would be floored if the show did go in this direction, but if it does, remember that you heard it here first. :)

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

"The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something." ~ Kurt Vonnegut

I keep holding myself back from creating things. The desire is there, the fear (of it being bad? of failing? of not completing it? i don't know exactly) is just stronger.

Let's see what I can do to remedy that.

(This was totally not the post I wanted to make originally. I have held myself back from that, too. This may be harder than originally intended...)

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

2 mehgit. 2 mehgit 2 quit

Maybe it's having gone back to work after having 18 days in a row off.
Maybe it's that the amount of work was overwhelming, and I spent a good portion of the day feeling like I was drowning and/or wanting to cry.
Maybe it's rising gas costs.
Maybe it's watching the news, or reading the news, or hearing the news, or the fact that there's news.
Maybe it's riding the bus.
Maybe it's the chaos and clutter.
Maybe it's seeing evolution going on as I walk through businesses in Las Vegas.

Maybe it's just me.

Whatever it is, this yucky empty feeling can stop now, thanks.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Vacation wrap-up

The problem with not blogging daily is that you get out of the habit of doing so. And then, when it comes time to update, you either don't want to, or have so much to say that you don't know where to begin. And/or, you certainly don't remember everything.

So, now that the vacation is over - I go back to work tomorrow - I find myself in the position of having a LOT to talk about, but very little desire to actually take the time to type it all out. The lesson is that when we go on our next trip (be it vacation, or when we leave Las Vegas for good) that we certainly need a lap top. Or I should write things down as we go, so that I can remember things better.

Anyway. List time. Because listing things (in no particular order) seems to be how my brain works best, and because it's one of the laziest ways of blogging and getting information out. The trip was overall a great one, but it wasn't all liquid sunshine and Pepsi. I'll start with the bad, to get it out of the way, and also so that I can end with the positive.

The Bad

- Harper was killed.
During the conference, there was a game of "Assassin" being played. Assassin is played pretty much like this:
Everyone who is playing puts their names on a slip of paper, and the names go into a hat. Draw a name. Whoever you picked, is who you have to "kill" sometime during the conference. To kill a person, you simply have to touch them on the shoulder and say, "You are dead." or "Gotcha" or "I just killed you", or something to that effect.
The catch is - there can be no witnesses.
So, traveling in groups is a safe way to avoid being murdered. However, if you are constantly in a group, it means that you can't do any killing either.
Once you kill a person, they have to give you their target, and that becomes your next person to assassinate.
Harper ended up being killed by a teenage girl who was, apparently, quite good at the game (she had already taken out 10 other people before getting Harper). But the fact that she got "killed" was highly disturbing to Harper. She was inconsolable for at least 45 minutes, until eventually, she was "brought back to life" by the girl who had killed her, and they agreed that they would work together to get Harper's target.
Assassin was fun, though, and I think if Harper plays again, she'll be better prepared for it.

- We got sick
Harper, Irina and I started getting runny noses and sore throats around Wednesday (the 25th). Steph didn't start feeling bad until yesterday. For the most part, I'm over my illness, although I still have occasional bouts of coughing. Being sick is never fun, even when you're in Oregon.

- My boss was in a car accident
On Wednesday the 25th, I got a call from work, informing me that my supervisor had been in a pretty bad accident, and would be out "for a while". The initial call was pretty much right after it happened, and a lot of the information was inaccurate. (I was first told that he had broken his back. I was told later that he has a fractured vertebrae, which is marginally better, but still pretty scary.)
The rest of the week (Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday) I received calls from work, either giving me updates, or asking me work related questions that only I - or my supervisor - would be able to handle.

- We got pulled over for speeding
In Tonopah on the way home. I was doing 51 in a 25. Because 25 is a ridiculously low speed to drive. And also, it didn't feel like we were moving that fast.

- Steph's camera broke
On Thursday night, as we were going into our hotel, Steph's camera was accidentally dropped.
On Friday, when we went to our last fun spot before beginning the boring drive back, we discovered that due to the drop, it was not going to operate anymore. :(

The Good!

- The pictures were still retrievable
If you check out Steph's blog, you can see many of the photos from the trip. Even though the camera won't be taking any new pictures, the ones that were on the card were still able to be put on the computer. Yay technology!

- We were let go with a warning
Thankfully, the cop in Tonopah didn't give us a ticket. (Even though I was going double the posted limit!) A ticket would be the last thing we need. To my credit, I drove the speed limit the entire way home. (Even 25 in all the small towns in Nevada)

- Powell's book city
Dude.
DUDE.
Portland is a very interesting city (although I don't know 100% how I feel about it, and whether I would want to actually live there) but one of the most amazing parts of it was Powell's. Powell's City of Books is pretty much what it says. It's about 4 city blocks worth of used and new books, located in downtown Portland.
Going to Portland for that alone would be worth it. We really needed more time to actually walk through that place - it's huge! - but at least we've now seen it.

- The Oregon Vortex
This was where we discovered that Steph's camera was not working, so we had to buy a disposable. (For 12 bucks!) I just wikied up the Oregon Vortex, and the short article there kinda dampened some of the enthusiasm from the visit, but even if it was just optical illusions, it was still kinda cool to see a golf ball roll uphill, and to witness Steph grow several inches just by moving a few feet.

-Abby's Legendary Pizza
Yummy!

- The Talent Show
Steph got video of the girls doing their hula-hooping at the talent show this time around. Both of them have improved their abilities quite a bit - and they were already really good at the previous conference. Saren even worked in doing some jumps and hula-hooping on her knees.

- Barefoot Boogie
The last night of the conference, there was an all-ages, 3 hour dance. Irina was hilarious, and the girls all had an amazing time. I even let go of my reservations and danced with the crowd.

- Portland Zoo
The San Diego Zoo gets all the press, but I think the Portland Zoo is the better of the two. It's smaller - which means less walking! And maybe it was because it was cooler, or because it was Portland, or because it was a school day, or I don't know - but it was also much less crowded, so that was another plus.

- KNRK
Best radio station I found during the trip.

- Newport Aquarium
Even though I was sick, and completely energyless during our visit to the Newport Aquarium, it was still fun.

- Done blogging
I know I'm forgetting/leaving out a LOT of the experience, but that's what Steph's blog is for. ;)

Sunday, April 22, 2007

The trip so far (continued)

Where did I leave off?

Oh, right. Thursday.

Like I said, that day we did not have a gigantic drive ahead of us, so we opted to do a little sight-seeing in Jacksonville (fee non ay! [I really cant stop doing that, Im sorry]) first.

Jacksonville (fee non ay!) is this little town that has maybe 1000 people living in it. (Maybe more, we didnt see the entire town, but i cant imagine that its population is more than 5000.) The entire downtown area is all walking distance, and many of the buildings [and homes] were built in the 1850s - 1880s, so its quite the historic little town. And the fact that it is located in lush green forests only adds to its charm.
While walking around, we saw many many cats just roaming free. The weird thing is, they were all orange. Or had some orange fur on them. It mightve even been the same cat, stalking us. We also saw several ginormous squirrels. I think in another 500 million years or so, those squirrels are going to be running that place. So, you know, be prepared.

We had lunch in The Mustard Seed Cafe, which had some awesome food, and everyone that came in knew each other, and they were all nice and they had Pepsi, of course. After that, we walked up to the town cemetary, because cemetaries are interesting, and because we are morbid. :)
The cemetary probably has more inhabitants than the town.

But thats okay, because that place was really cool. While we were there, we ran into a woman that worked there, and she filled us in on some of the projects that the city has going on with regard to the cemetary - fixing up some of the old plots, completely doing a census of sorts regarding who is buried in what graves, warding off zombies, that sort of stuff.

By around 2pm, we decided to head toward Corvallis. While on the way we drove through Eugene, which.... wasnt all that fab, sadly. Granted, we only drove through one little bit of it, and there could be many other parts of Eugene that are lovely, but we certainly didnt see them that day. Springfield was slightly better, but overall, I think if I had my druthers, Id pick Jacksonville (fee non ay) or Medford as a place in Oregon to live over Eugene or Springfield.

Got to the hotel (the Salbasgeon, which for the first couple of days I refered to as Sebastian, until I learned that it derived its name from 3 types of fish - salmon/bass/sturgeon) around 6ish. Walked across the street to KFC for dinner, came back, and watched the most entertaining episode of Survivor in a LONG time, then took the girls swwimiing for a little while before finally settling back in for the night.

Friday

This was the first official day of the conference, although registration didnt begin until noon.

This is going to sound bad, especially since it was just two days ago, but ...I dont remember what we did on Friday. We did the welcome speech thing...and I know the girls ran around, but I cant remember what the mass majority of the day consisted of, until the pajama party at 8pm. In the morning, Harper, Irina and I had the free breakfast (which was quite deliciious, actually) and Saren adn Steph drove down to Sunnyside Up - a local restaurant where many of the conference attendees were having a pre-conference get together.
The pj party was fun. And wild. It started off with a giant duck duck goose game (although it seemed that adults either werent invited, or simply werent joinng in by choice. I shouldve broken out of my comfort zone and sat in with them, but didnt.) and it morphed into a game of Simon Says, and balloon sword fights, and Dance Dance Revolution and Connect 4 and Blink and knock knock jokes and screaming and running around and fun...

Saturday

This isnt going to be in order, just a list of things that happened, as they come back to me:

- Had dinner at Sunnyside Up. That was really cool. They have this brilliant idea of putting trivial pursuit cards on the tables. hee! Awesome way to kill time while waiting for your food. Plus, lots of local art on the walls, and a very funny sign on the outside door (Steph took a picture of it, so I wont ruin the surprise) Themenu was a little too... new age? hippy? whole foods?...something... for my comfort zone, but i enjoyed the turkey sandwich, and they had Pepsi, so it was all good.

....and again, im gonna cut this short and finish up later...

The trip so far

(Or, what I can remember, and what I can type while everyone else is still sleeping. LetÅ› just call it the highlights, shall we? [also, note to myself - avoid the apostrophe key!])

Tuesday

we left the house around 9;11 in the morning. Although we needed to fill up the gas tank, and turn back home for a few forgotten items before really hitting the road around 945. (And we still ended up not bringing eveerything. Some of the Nintendo DS games, for example, and I had wanted to bring some of ooour board games to share/play, and we forgot those as well. Also, Harpers notebook/journal.)
Anyway. Tuesday was a mostly-driving day. Got to Tonopah for lunch, and while it was slightlly interesting with its historic background of having been a mining town, Tonopah [and most of the Nevada desert] is just ugly. Certainly wouldnt want to live there.
Kept driving -for whaaat seemed like days - and we finnally got to Reno (911!) neaar supertime.
I suppose I should note now that this keyboard, in addition to having the apostroophe phobia (apostrophobia?) also has a tendency to go overboard on leeetters if you hold it down for more than a milisecond. I had been correcting the additional letters and spaces (for the most part) but it is just too difficult to keep doing it, so, there ya go.

Anyway. The first thing we noticed about Reno (911!) was how cold it was! The wind was blowing as wwwe got into our hotel room, and it was damn chilly. Uh-oh, we thought, hopefully the rest of the trip wont be this cold because wwwwwe are really not prepared for it.
Aftr setting up in the hotel room, wwe were getting hungry, so Steph sent me (and Saren) out to get food. On the drive back...it began to snow.
Snow.
In April.
Half my wardrobe is shorts. The girls also wwwere not winterweather equpped. But, as the blizzzzzzaard continued to pour down - and it began to truly stick to the ground - we let them go out and play in the flakes.
When we woke up the next morning, ultimaately about an inch had fallen and remained on the ground.

Wednessday

Another long driving day. Mostly going through mountains. Or, more accurately, snow covered mountains.The snow flurries hit us off and on through most of the drive, as well. Eventually it started to die down, and warm up, but for a while it looked like it was going to be a white christmas um..Earth Day.
Wednesssdays stoopping location was Medford, Oregon, which is a nice midsized town that I think would really not be a bad place to live. Steph likes neighboring Jacksonville (fee non ay!) better, and I agree that either city could be ideal.
We drove around Medford for a while, and had dinner at Abbeys (Legendary) Pizza. Which was a pizza place we had visited on our first trip to Oregon. Yummy stuff. Also, Oregon seems to be a Pepsi loving state. Most eveeerywhere you go, you see signs for Pepsi. Awesome.
Wednesday night, after the superlong drive, the girls needed to unwind, so we all walked over the river (and through the woods, ironically enough) that was right next to our motel, and into what had to be the most incredible playground I have eveer seen. This thing was HUGE! It was alll wood, and had hundreds of hideyholes and a gigantic maze and slides (which the girls didnnt go on because it had rained and they were wet. Vegas slides cant go on because of the heat, Oregon slides cant go on because of the rain) and sliding floors and all kinds of fun stuff. As it started togeet dark, we headed back to the hotel, waatched Lost, and went to sleep.

Thurssday

Si
nce Thursdays drive was not a long one, we decided to investigate Jacksonville (fee non ay!) for a while first.
This is getting a bit long, and its now 8am, and we still need to have breakfast, and everyone is waking up, so I guess I will wrap it up for now. More later.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Water water everywhere

So, Oregon is wet.

But, you know, it really isnt that bad.(We are at the hotel in Corvallis where the Life Is Good Conference is going on, and the hotel has a computer in it with free internet access. [although for some reason hitting the apostrophe key causes the computer to beep extremely loudly])

A full update will be forthcoming, I just wanted to get in a blog entry from a different state. :)

Friday, April 13, 2007

Harry Potter and the Big Fat Spoilers

A while back - maybe as far back as July of 2006, I can't recall the exact time, and I'm too lazy to google it up -JK Rowling gave some interviews about the upcoming final Harry Potter book.

In the interview, she said [begin spoiler for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - highlight to view]
There will be two deaths in the book.
She did not say who, or how, or why, or when. [/end spoiler]
Now, maybe it's just me, but I don't want to know that. Having that information put out there is going to taint the way that I read the book, because I'll be expecting it.

Granted, I was expecting it anyway*, but to have it confirmed by the author is just...slightly diminishes the power of surprise one gets when going into the novel completely unaware, ya know?
Fortunately, I excel at forgetting things, and I am sure that there will be plenty of other twists and turns that Book 7 is going to take, so I'm confident that I will still be able to enjoy the book.

Unfortunately, I know that the Internet does love spoilers. And as the release date approaches, it is going to become increasingly difficult to avoid them. I really hope that I can go into Book 7 as unspoiled as I possibly can. It's the way that such things are meant to be experienced, in my opinion.

*[spoilers for what was previously mentioned about HP&tDH]Actually, I was expecting the death toll to be much higher than just two. I mean, the final battle between Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter and only two characters bite it? Maybe it *will* be higher, and the 2 characters was just a minimum, but even so, I really wish she hadn't let *any* information slip out like that.[/spoiler]

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Listen

Kurt Vonnegut has died. So it goes.

It's extremely rare for me to be impacted by the passing of a celebrity. I mean, if anything, Vonnegut was simply a member of my granfalloon. I did not know him personally, I never met him, I have not, in fact, even read everything that he has written.

Nevertheless, I have found this news quite upsetting. Vonnegut was a unique and amazing voice, and I feel a deep sense of loss at his passing.

I can take solace in the fact that he is, of course, still alive and writing, and always will be. (Or, more seriously, that his works will always remain with us. I think I'm going to start working my way through Vonnegut's novels.)

Kurt provided us with a lot of meaningful, witty, cynical passages. His impact on me, and, from looking around the internet, obviously plenty of other people, was profound.

God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut.

God made mud.
God got lonesome.
So God said to some of the mud, "Sit up!"
"See all I've made," said God, "the hills, the sea, the sky, the stars."
And I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around.
Lucky me, lucky mud.
I, mud, sat up and saw what a nice job God had done.
Nice going, God.
Nobody but you could have done it, God! I certainly couldn't have.
I feel very unimportant compared to You.
The only way I can feel the least bit important is to think of all the mud that didn't even get to sit up and look around.
I got so much, and most mud got so little.
Thank you for the honor!
Now mud lies down again and goes to sleep.
What memories for mud to have!
What interesting other kinds of sitting-up mud I met!
I loved everything I saw!
Good night.
I will go to heaven now.
I can hardly wait...
To find out for certain what my wampeter was...
And who was in my karass...
And all the good things our karass did for you.
Amen.

Kurt is up in Heaven now.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Third time's a charm

This post might look familiar to those of you who have been reading my blog for a while. That's because it's a continue-a-story that I have posted (at various stages) twice before.

I'm hoping that this time I get some more responses, and that maybe this story will actually conclude. [I have an idea of where I want to take this narrative in mind, but I'm willing to let it go wherever it gets taken as well.]

So, yeah. In case you are unfamiliar - the idea is that I will post the beginning of a story. The comment section is where the next person continues the story, and it just builds from there. The only 'rules' that I ask are that 1) you don't end the story (that's for me to do) and 2) that you don't post twice in a row.
If you want to add a sentence, or you want to add 452 sentences, it's cool by me. If you don't like the direction the story is going, then change it. And note that the previous incarnations are also still up, so if you want to visit the old tellings and have those stories wind up differently, feel free.

Whew! With that, I will now post the story...

Paul Washington was woken up by the ringing of the telephone. A beam of almost-noon sunlight sneaked in his bedroom window between the thickly drawn curtains. Groggily, he reached for the phone, willing the hangover away. "Hello?" he answered.

The voice on the other end shouted something in German. Paul didn't understand it, but there was no mistaking the urgency, whatever the message may have been. "Sorry, dude. Wrong number." He hung up and fell back into a deep slumber.

Ten minutes later, the door was kicked in. Paul sat up instantly, heart pounding. The adrenaline raced through his body and he was sweating as three men in dark black uniforms and brandishing machine guns surrounded his bed. The men were all yelling at him, obviously irate. Paul stuck his hands up, terrified. Well, at least my hangover
is gone
, he thought mindlessly as his brain attempted to understand the bizarre situation he found himself in. The leader of the men poked the nozzle of his machine gun into Paul's ribs and barked some sort of question. Paul shook his head and said, "I...I don't speak German."

The leader said the same phrase again, and again poked Paul with his weapon. Paul's vision blurred and he feared he would faint. He willed himself to stay conscious and said, "Take whatever you want. Just don't hurt me. Please." The leader grabbed Paul's arm roughly. He looked at his forearm, but obviously didn't like what he saw - or as
Paul quickly determined, what he did not see. All three men had a barcode tattoo on their forearms, and they were expecting Paul to have the same. One of the other men asked a question - most likely, "Where's his tattoo?" - and the leader barked angrily at him. Paul was ferevertly wishing this was all a horrific nightmare that he'd soon wake up from.

Paul protested as the leader placed a pair of handcuffs on him, but these men did not seem to understand English any better than he spoke German. "You've got the wrong guy!" he yelled, as they forced him to get out of bed. He had on his jeans, but no shirt.

Realizing that dealing with these thugs wasn't going to work, Paul decided his best course of action was to get help from a neighbor. As the men started to march him out of his apartment, he screamed, "Mrs. Johansen! Mrs. Johansen, call 9-1-1!" His yells brought his next door neighbor to her door. Mrs. Johansen had been Paul's neighbor for the past 4 years. They attended the same church. He knew she'd help. The woman opened the door, and Paul nearly did faint when he saw that Mrs. Johansen had a barcode on her forearm...
It occurred to Paul later that perhaps he had fainted, because the next thing he knew he was sitting at a metal table in a small room with no windows. It looked like he assumed a police interrogation room might look, based on his impressions from television, but there was no mirror and he couldn't see any other sort of surveillance system.

One of Paul's arms was handcuffed (or otherwise tied - he couldn't actually see it) to the back of his chair. It was, incidentally, a very uncomfortable chair, made of metal or plastic or some other material that makes you feel as though there is no padding between your bones and the seat. His other hand was cuffed - if that's the
right word - to the table with one of those plastic zip-ties that he was pretty sure cops and maybe soldiers carried. His head felt very heavy and he couldn't turn it properly. It crossed his mind that he might have been drugged, but he wasn't sure what that would feel like.

He was pretty sure that people on drugs had hallucinations, but he wasn't sure what those were like, either.

Paul blinked and suddenly there was a man standing at the other side of the table. Now Paul was certain he'd been drugged. Either he had blacked out and the man had come into the room, or the man was a hallucination. Paul squinted his eyes in an attempt to focus better.

The man's gun looked real enough. He wasn't sure what kind it was. It looked like something from a Sci-Fi movie, but for all Paul knew, that's what all guns looked like. He wasn't exactly an expert.

He tried to ask the man where he was, but his mouth was dry and no sound came from it. He cleared his throat, because he wasn't sure what else to do, and managed to croak out something along the lines of, "May I have a glass of water?"

His vision became blurry again and, wondering if perhaps he needed glasses, he blinked a few times again.

Now there was a woman standing next to the man. She looked familiar, though Paul was certain they had never met.

Placing her hands on the table, she leaned toward Paul and said something, but now his ears weren't working properly either and he thought he heard wind blowing, or the ocean, like when you put a conch shell to your ear.

"I'm sorry?"

She leaned closer. "I said..."

"Can you understand me? Is the translator operating?"

Paul blinked. This day was becoming stranger and stranger. When the woman had spoken, he had heard her ask in English, but also slightly speak in German. Additionally, her mouth had not quite been in sync with the English he had heard. It was very similar to seeing someone on television who spoke a foreign language and hearing the translation spoken over it. All the while, the ocean wind noise was faintly whispering in his ear.

In a state of shock, Paul simply asked, "Translator?"

The woman, who must have been wearing her own translator - or who understood English - nodded and tapped her ear. Paul then noticed that something was in his own right ear. It felt like an earplug, but was, undoubtedly, a piece of machinery that was translating the conversation into English for him.

Paul thought all these thoughts, along with "Who are these people??" before realizing that the woman was again speaking and the machine was translating:

"...you will do best to answer my questions honestly. We do not know what connection, if any, you have with Fredrick Muller, but the fact that you were found in his apartment implies at least a casual relationship with that criminal."

Even though the translator did not convey much tone, it was obvious to Paul that this woman despised Fredrick Muller, whomever that was.

The woman went on, "My first question is - how do you not have any identification? Where is your mark?" She pulled up her sleeve, revealing her own bar code tattoo.

Paul swallowed, trying to get his bearings and determine exactly what he was going to say in response. The man with the gun made him nervous and he was confident that if he said the wrong thing, that he would end up a dead man.

"First," he said, "I do not know Fredrick Muller. The apartment you people pulled me out of was mine. You've obviously got the wrong person. As for identification, I have my driver's license at home in my..." the woman smacked him across the face, hard, silencing Paul.

She snarled, "Do not lie to me!" in German and the translator managed to chill Paul.

"How did you remove your identification?" she asked, yanking on Paul's free arm, looking again for his nonexistent bar code. "How?!"

Paul didn't know what to do, but didn't think that attempts at deceit would work with these people. Besides that, he didn't know what it was they wanted him to say, so he stuck with the truth. "I'm trying to tell you I've never had one!" he said in an exasperated tone.

The woman heard this in her translator and looked at Paul like he were crazy (Paul was beginning to think she might be onto something there). "That is not possible." she said flatly.

At that moment there was a knock on the door and another guard (Paul assumed, he had the look of a guard) entered and spoke to the woman. Paul's translator picked up the conversation and converted it to English for him, despite the fact that he probably wasn't meant to hear any of it. "Burr," (Paul at first thought the guard had said
"brr", but then quickly realized that 'Burr' was the woman's name - or title, perhaps), "there is something you must see."

"I am interrogating the suspect right now." Burr growled back. The guard said, "There is another like him. Another person with no identification. A Negro in his thirties. He only speaks English. He was found in district five, trying to break into someone's home. Schmidt has him in the other room and is requesting you come right away."

Burr looked at Paul and then at the guard. "Bring the other man in here. I will interrogate them both at the same time. Perhaps the lack of identification and the English language are not all these men have in common."

The guard nodded and left the room. Paul didn't think his request would be granted, but saw no major harm in asking - especially since he could now be understood - "May I get a drink of water, please? And perhaps a shirt?"

Burr considered Paul briefly, then said to the man with the gun, "Water. Shirt." The man nodded and left the room without a word.

At that time the other guard entered, forcing a scared looking black man in front of him. He looked at Paul and seemed to draw several conclusions quite quickly. "They arrest you, too?" he asked Paul. Paul nodded, afraid to say anything aloud, but inside he was ecstatic to hear another person speaking his native tongue. The black man was forced into a chair beside Paul, and the guard with the gun said to Burr, "I'll go get a translator for him." The black man said, "I told you! I don't speak German. No shpreckin the Deutsch!" Paul smiled in spite of himself. He liked this man.

Burr frowned. "Tell your friend to shut up," she ordered Paul, "or I will kill him."

Paul had no doubt she would do it, either. He said to the man, "Hi. I'm Paul. Paul Washington. That woman there? She's in charge. Don't piss her off. Right now she doesn't want you to talk. I suggest you listen to her."

"Huh." the man replied. Then to Paul, "Oh. My name is Derrick. Derr..." but at that moment Burr smacked Derrick across the face.

Derrick leapt up and was going to retaliate, but Burr kneed the middle aged man in the groin, dropping him instantly. "I told you to tell him not to speak." she said coldly to Paul. Paul simply gaped at the whole scene, unable to help Derrick up, since he was still handcuffed to his chair.

The other guard returned at that moment with a glass of water and a light blue shirt for Paul. The shirt was tossed into Paul's lap, the glass of water was put in his free hand.

Derrick slowly got back up and sat in his chair. The guard took that opportunity to handcuff his arm. Derrick didn't object - at least verbally - but Paul knew he wasn't happy about this development. This guard also had a translator and he placed it in Derrick's ear.

Burr asked Derrick if he could understand her, if his translator was working and to simply nod if the answer was yes. Derrick nodded.

"Good." Burr said. "Now we will begin to get some answers...

"First, you will tell me why you were breaking into a district five house."

There was a half second pause before Derrick answered, in which Paul could see him swallow all manner of emotion. He had a fire in him, and Paul could tell that he wanted to let it out. But that hit to the face seemed to have sobered him pretty well. When he spoke, it was in a low and even voice.

"Like I told your boys when they came up behind me, it was my house I was getting into. I was not breaking in. My key was stuck."

It was hard to tell from her face what Burr made of this answer. Then she smiled.

"You certainly cannot expect me to believe that ... one of your kind ... has a home in district five."

"That so?" Derrick bit out.

Burr continued to smile. "So were you there for stealing, or were you sent to terrorize our good citizens?"

Oh how Paul understood (as much as he understood anything) what was going on behind his new friend's bewildered face. If he was that - "friend" was an appropriate word for a guy you instinctively trust in an utterly foreign situation - right? Paul wondered idly when the Germans would leave them alone so they could make sense of everything and ... maybe make a masterful escape? Somehow, he didn't that was
going to happen. He had to do his best with these unnerving guards staring him down. It was like trying to solve a crossword puzzle with a bomb counting down. They both had to play their hands well. "But our hands are tied," he thought ridiculously. What was Derrick going to say?

He wouldn't get to know, it seemed. The door opened again, and again, an urgent message was calling Burr to the door. Paul strained to hear the hushed tones, and he saw Burr's eyes narrow.

"...Jackson."

"Huh?" Derrick had whispered to him.

"Jackson," he repeated. "The other half of my name."

"Oh." Paul smiled. He pushed down the urge to laugh. He felt a little crazy.

"SO!"

The harsh, reverberating syllable brought Paul back to reality (assuming that word fit).

"Separate them!" Burr barked. She was smiling again. Maniacally.

The two guards swooped down on Derrick. One of them cut the band around his wrist. Derrick's eyes were painfully wide as they pulled him from the room. So much for company.

The woman was approaching him again.

"Now we have you," she said.

"You do?" said Paul, blankly. He had given up all illusion that he could control this situation.

"The phone call to the apartment..." she began.

The phone call to the apartment.

"...was traced from your friend's house."

A deafening noise from outside the room followed this pronouncement, as Burr glared at him, unblinking.

"I swear I don't..." Paul started to object, convinced that it would do him absolutely no good. These people didn't listen to reason, they wouldn't listen to the truth, and Paul didn't even know what the hell the truth was anymore. But it didn't matter, and Paul didn't get to finish his declaration because another loud boom interrupted him, this one much closer. It was accompanied by the smell of smoke and the sound of panicked screams of anguish and confusion. Burr had turned to face the door when it exploded inward.

Paul screamed and attempted to hide himself underneath the table. His arm was still handcuffed to the chair and his wrist was cut badly as a result. Burr had been knocked backward from the explosion, but was regaining her composure quickly. She pulled a gun (Paul wasn't sure what type, but it was small enough to have been concealed earlier) and fired into the smoke that was pouring into the interrogation room. Paul closed his eyes and so he did not see the number of people who came into the room, and he did not see the shot that hit Burr in the abdomen. When he opened his eyes, there were three strangers in the room and Burr was lying beside him with a bullet wound in her gut, possibly dead.

One of the men reached into Burr's pocket, pulled out the keys to the cuffs, and tossed them to the man standing above Paul. He unlocked Paul's chains and offered his hand to Paul. Part of Paul's mind that wanted to retreat to a fantasy land thought, "Now he'll say 'Come with me if you want to live', just like in the Terminator movies."

The man did speak, then, but he did not quote Arnold Schwarzenneger. Instead, he spoke in German, and the translator whispered in Paul's ear, "Paul Washington, my name is Fredrick Muller. We don't have much time."

November Mileage

January - 730
February - 1357.8
March - 872.4
April - 1056.9
May - 278.3 (car, which is currently not running); 486.6 (minivan) --total for May is 764.9
June - car = 0.0; minivan = 1489.6
July - car = 0.0; minivan =1796.3
August - car = 0.0; minivan = 944.6
September - car = 0.1; minivan = 1725.3 - total for Sept. is 1725.4
October - car - 0.0; minivan - 1283.9
November - car = 0.0; minivan - 703.6

Year to date - 12,725.4

Come together...

I don't know what effect this will truly have on the world, but, hey, it can't hurt.

Buh-log-ing.

D-List Blogger

Well, huh.

And of related interest (and what I was originally going to link to before discovering the above posted "quiz" from Annika's blog) is this article from the Las Vegas Weekly about blogging. I disagree with bits of it, agree with other parts, and mostly just found it kinda...well, like a blog entry. Not really important in the scheme of things. [shrug]

Today is the end of November, which means the end of NaNoBlogMore. I somehow managed to post every day for the past 30 days, so I guess that's something. I seriously think that I am going to take December off, though. I've got a few more posts in me for today (the mileage, another link, and a really long post that will hopefully garner some interaction) and then I'll see you all in 07.
If I'm really lucky, Blogger will be able to upgrade me by then.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

buttons pushed

Someone pushed the Winter button. (Tonight's low is going to be 27. Which, granted, isn't as cold as some [most] parts of the country, but this is Nevada. It never gets this cold this early in the year.)

Someone pushed my Tired button. I overslept majorly this morning, and I am really very tired now, too.

And now i'm going to push the Publish Post button, because I can't think of anything else to mention.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

a little bit from column a, a little bit from column b.

sometimes I despise myself.
sometimes I am so damn impressed with myself that I marvel that people aren't on their knees when i walk into a room.
(usually it's a compromise between the two extremes)

sometimes I know exactly what I want to say.
Sometimes I have no freaking clue.
(usually, regardless, I have a difficult time actually expressing it.)

sometimes the future looks very bleak, other times it looks quite optimistic, the truth is a mixture of the two, but my outlook flip-flops.

soemtimes i cant' spell or use grammar very goodly.

ahh, life. it's (un)predicatable and wild.

Monday, November 27, 2006

homestretch

If this post were being made on Steph's blog, it would be labeled with the "This Post Refuses to be Labeled" label.
Also, it would be funnier.

You know what's really ...weird? Memory. How the hell does the brain record things - record everything - and filter it all and have it stored for recollection? Does the brain have storage limits? I would suspect that it must, and I'm tempted to quote Homer here, but at the same time, your brain would have to continue to remember stuff if it went on existing, right?

I mean, if we could somehow keep a brain alive forever - say hooked up to a machine ala many sci-fi stories - and keep it constantly stimulated with experiences, wouldn't it just continue to remember the events it witnessed in case such memories needed to be played back?

And I know that a lot of stuff (everything??) is stored in the subconcious, but doesn't that have limits too?
If we took our hypothetical brain and taught it 1 new word everyday, how long would it take before it could not recall the first word that it was taught?
Or maybe I'm thinking of memory (and memory storage) incorrectly and the computer analogy is not right. Or helpful.
Maybe memory is like a body of water - an ocean or a really big lake (or a pond, ha ha ha) - and we're constantly swimming in it as we remember past experiences, but at the same time, it's raining, which is adding drops of water to the overall amount of water to swim in. Since memories in this case would be liquid, they would all flow together - how does one keep track of a single drop of water in a lake - and that would explain why some memories are difficult to bring back to your mind - they're deeper in the water. Also, it would go a ways toward explaining why sometimes something you've not thought about for ages suddenly comes rushing back to you - the water has been stirred up enough to bring those drops of memory back to the surface.

I don't know.

In other news, the internet can be an incredibly frightening, depressing, and infuriating place. I'd link to what I'm talking about, but it's not worth it. Plus, I'm sure you can find your own examples.

In other other news, 99 Red Balloons is hilarious, and sad. I mean, the army overreacts to a bunch of balloons, and destroys the world, and then the singer starts the whole thing over again because she's in mourning over her friend having been killed in the attack. Um. Unless I'm interpretting that wrongly. Which might be the case. But my point still stands.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

I, III, V, and X

So we just returned home from Steph's mom's house where we had a 3 hour game of Risk with Steph and her brothers. We didn't finish the game all the way, but it was a foregone conclusion that Steph's army (aka Green Mama, aka Green Peace, aka Gang Green) was going to wipe out the last two forces in her way. Namely me (the Black Death or Black Plague) and Sean (the Blue Bombers), so we called it early.

Although who knows how that fight between Ural and Irktusk would've turned out. I mean, really.

Good times were had by all. I had originally planned on giving a fuller description of the night's game, but it's pretty late now, and I (unfortunately) have to wake up early tomorrow, so that'll have to do. Anyway, now that Steph knows how to play Risk (OBVIOUSLY!), I hope that we can play here at home more. Although I don't know how much she actually enjoyed the game, and more just kind of kicked ass and took names.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

These will never stop being funny

I don't feel like blogging right now, so instead, some YouTube clips. These are three pop culture moments that never fail to make me laugh.

First, from Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy:



"That's how I roll!!"

And, from Invader Zim:


And Eddie Izzard:

Friday, November 24, 2006

So much to blog about!

It's like a cornucopia of blog topics!

1) For the past week or so, Blogger has had a display at my dashboard claiming that "my blog is ready for the switch to the beta version", which, as I've mentioned before, I have been wanting to upgrade to forever.
But.
Whenever I attempt to switch to it, I get a nice huge error message saying, "COULD NOT SWITCH TO BETA."
Which is it, Blogger? I mean, obviously, it's that I can't, but if that's the case, why tease me with the false promise of being able to upgrade? It's just cruel.
Anyway, it helps to make blogging a really negative experience, and I'm sure that my posts the last few [whatevers] have reflected that.

2) In much happier news, today is the 10 year anniversary of when Stephanie and I first met in person! Holy time pass, Batman! It's amazing that ten years have flown by this quickly.
Ten years ago, I was 21, had jet-black hair (dyed a few weeks prior because I was still young, stupid, and had expendable cash flow), weighed at least 15 pounds less than I do now, was working at KFBT, and had no car.

3) To celebrate, we had our Thanksgiving dinner tonight, rather than yesterday. Steph made a turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, biscuits, corn, salad, cranberry sauce, lasagna, and sparkling apple cider. Yumola! Plus, there is pumpkin pie (yuck) and apple pie (yum!) for dessert coming up. Feastolicious!

4) We have a kitten in our house again. The neighborhood kids across the way found a kitten - probably only three or four weeks old - at the park. They knocked on our door and asked us if it was ours. They said that they could not take it to their house because they would get in trouble. So, rather than throw it back out "to the wolves" (Steph's words), we took it in so that we could feed, shelter, and bathe it, and then tomorrow put up signs and/or offer it up on Freecycle. Steph is currently taking pictures of said animal, and I'm sure she'll blog about it eventually, so as is always the case, check her blog for a more detailed, more amusing and more worthwhile entry on the matter.

5) I don't think that there is anything else. The plan for the rest of the night is to play Trivial Pursuit and have pie. Good times.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

best in show

TV's been on pretty much all day. We watched the 80th Annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, which was, um, paradey.

After it ended, there was some crazy dog show on. We left it on and did other things, but, man dog shows are a strange thing.

When the Toy Poodle won Best in Show, my cynical (and hilarious) reaction was, "It's fixed!". Steph was just upset that that bitch won.

Next on was Babe which we had never seen before, but I was just yesterday considering adding it to our quueeue. Now I don't have to! That'll do, pig.

In other news, I was thinking that Jesus would be a great person to invite over for dinner. I mean, water into wine? Making fish and bread just magically appear? That dude rocks!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey

The movie Curious George was watched by the girls today. I only caught the last half-ish of it, but was pleasantly surprised. It's not a bad movie at all. Plus, the word "monkey" is said more times, I think, than in any other movie ever. And "monkey" is a great word. More movies should say it more often.

Today feels like a Friday.

Yesterday I was going to write a big long blog entry about taking a stand in matters, but then it got late and I got tired and it just wasn't worth it. Which is an ironic thing for me to say, because that is a big part of what the (hypothetical) entry was about. When do you stand up for things and when is it not worth it?
Oddly, as I age, I find that it's "not worth it" as much as I used to. Or maybe I'm just more cowardly as I get older. [shrug] I don't even know if I'm making sense.

In other news completely, Blogger still hates me. Frickin' Blogger. Lying to me every single day about the betaversion. Oh well. Some day, I suppose.

Eh. I feel like I'm forgetting something semi-important but the chord just isnt' being struck right now, so I guess it's not that vital.

In conclusion, monkey!!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Those were the good old days

I really was funnier in the past. Archives are quite underrated.

Monday, November 20, 2006

um...no.

Disturbed (or is it there no "e", I forget? Disturbd? I could wiki it up, but it's not worth it. The band sucks regardless of how they spell it.) has made a cover of Genesis' "Land of Confusion".

Just...no.

And now I just saw a trailer for a remake of Charlotte's Web that appears to be very CGI-influenced.

There are rumors (or maybe it's fact now) of:
Indiana Jones 4 (mixed feelings on that one)
A Battlestar Galactica prequel series (I haven't even watched the current series! Why go and make a prequel??)
A "next generation" type of series for V. (My inner child really liked V, but I suspect that a) it woldn't hold up to viewings now and b) that an updated series is not really needed)


And definitely on the way (but by no means necessary):

A 5th (6th?? I lost count) Rocky movie.
Oceans 13 (didn't Oceans 12 bomb??)
A 4th Die Hard movie (Die Hard, Die Harder, Die Hardest, Die Hard infinity!)

Interactive time! What remakes/sequels/prequels are you currently dreading/fearing/shaking your head in disbelief over?

Sunday, November 19, 2006

null/void

First, the whiny section:
My back hurts.
I have a canker sore right now.
I can't find the remote control.
I have to work tomorrow.
It's both too hot and too cold in this house.
I don't have anything interesting to blog about, and there are still 11 days left in this month.I wonder if taking a month and NOT blogging would be simpler. I may have to try that in December.

And now the rest:

We went ice skating today at the Fiesta Hotel and Casino's ice skating rink. Kinda weird to be driving around in late November to go ice skating and requiring the air conditioning in the van. Eh, it's Vegas weather, whatchya gonna do?
Saren really enjoyed the skating. Steph snapped a few pictures of her and I skating, so I bet if you ask nicely, she'll post them.

Next week is a short work week. So, that's a plus. We're planning on playing Risk with Steph's brothers on Sunday, which should be fun. I always enjoy Risk, but it takes so long to play, and the girls are still a little too young to really get into it (plus Irina would totally disrupt any game that we might have on the floor), so I'm very much looking forward to Sunday night.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

2 great tastes...

My newest million dollar idea:

Cookie burgers.

It's a regular cheeseburger, but instead of buns, you have chocolate chip cookies.

I'm lovin' it!

Friday, November 17, 2006

I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.

I had a big long post about stuff, but ...now I don't.

Question for the P@riots reading this - what are your thoughts on malevolent spirits? People can be influenced by negative energy, can machinery? Does it become a sort of feedback loop where it just builds and builds? Is there a way out of such a cycle? (Short of a baseball bat to the harddrive, or some other violent and expensive release of pressure?)
What about exorcism? Or exercise, maybe? Mabye that's what I need. Work off some of this stress that seems to have built up in me for whatever reason. Who knows? (The Shadow knows.)

Or maybe I just need to be able to laugh at something. It's been a while (read: at least three hours) since I've found anything really funny.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

museless

(and other thoughts)

I think my muse (or is it my Muse? Is Muse supposed to be capitalized? even if you are not talking about the band?) has left me. I wonder why that is. (hee! I'm musing why I don't have my muse.)
I bet it's from nto sleeping enough.

CSI type shows have been on television for years -decades, really, if you go back and include mystery shows like Columbo and Murder She Wrote- and you've got to wonder how the writers manage to week after week think up different ways of homicides being committed. If I were the real police, I think I'd keep a very close eye on those writer types. Or make sure to stay on their good side, if you know what I mean.

So glad tomorrow is friday.

One week from tdoay is Gro...Thanksgiving. (Yes, I was originally going to type out Groundhog Day.) I still marvel at how quickly time goes by now.

Um.

Sleep time! To cycle this back around to the topic at the beginning (and in an effort to get mroe comments) - what is your muse? What inspires you? How can i get my (groove) back?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

ymoyl

Huh. I thought I'd blogged already today. Good thing I checked twice, eh?

I did not run over any alien fox babies today. (Unless I did.)

I did have an idea for something to talk about earlier today, but now that I'm sitting in front of the white screen of death (heh), I am much much less compelled to type about it. It's been brewing in my head off and on for a while now, so I'm sure eventually it'll make it's way into the world wide web for all to enjoy and/or mock.

Here's one way that life is disappointingly NOT like a video game: There's no awesome catchy 8-bit music accompanying us as we go about our adventures.
Another way - when people fail, there's no big GAME OVER that appears.

I think the Universe might be out of line somehow right now due to the fact that it is a Wednesday - in Sweeps, no less - and there is NOT a new Lost on.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I can't stand your product, but your commercials are amazing.

Said at Target today:
"Something crazy needs to happen so that I have something to blog about."

Nothing did, though.

Maybe tomorrow I'll find an abandonded baby or run over a marmot fox or be visited by aliens who will deliver the following message to humanity: "WHAT THE FUCK, HUMANS?!?" or something.

I'll let you know.

Monday, November 13, 2006

8 hrs

man, what i wiulodn't give 4 that aniunt if sleep right ow,

i promiused the story of yesterday yesterday, but it's nit wirthj it. or i'm 2 tiredm,

long story short- we didn't have the last 10 minytes of a movie we were syioosed to air that night. i got caalled. i had to go down 2 the station to help remedy rhe situation. doimng such things is whuy i gaet paid the big bucks, thouygh, right? right??? ha ha ha.

anyway. dince it'as minbday againb, i'm mr. lack fo sleep huy. and we are supposed 2 watch deadwood in a few minutera.

this wntry more or less sucked.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Two schools of thought here. I can either blog about how my entire day was interrupted by work, and explain the whole sordid mess, and get restressed out about it (I'm STILL very upset over the goingson of the day, and it was more or less over 2 and a half hours ago).
Or, I can just let it go, realizing that it's not the worth the energy and thought that I've already devoted to it and try to enjoy the remainder of my weekend.

I'm going to go with option 2. Because lord knows that I'm going to have to deal with enough bullshit tomorrow when I go in to work. And because I need practice at dealing with stress in positive ways. (I have done a lot of deep breathing during the writing of this. It's... not really helping.)

Tell ya what. Tomorrow, after I've had the ability to cool down some - and we see what fallout occurs from today's screwup - I'll come back and relate the tale. Yay! That means tomorrow's blog entry is covered as well as today's! So, there's a positive spin on the whole thing.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

pass

I'm blogging every day in November, except for the 11th.

Friday, November 10, 2006

mundane entry #5302

The problem is that I'm bored by my own thoughts - you know, because I live with them 17/7 - so I'm wondering why I should even bother transfering them to blogper. But, my thoughts are new to you (heh) and additionally, some day down the road I will have forgotten these thoughts and this will serve as a reminder. A snapshot of my brain at the time. Or something.

Of course, now that I've typed all that, I've forgotten what I originally was going to say.

Let's see. Finished reading The Husband today. I don't know why I bothered. 400 pages of ...Koontz.

I've more or less given up on NaNo. Emphasis on the more, actually. I've not written anything story-wise since Tuesday. Oh well. I think I'll just wait until I want to write, rather than having the goal enforced upon me. That being said, good luck to everyone else who is continuing to partake in the craziness of NaNo. And, hey, maybe the world of Wolf will someday call to me again, and if/when it does, I'll listen. I think the bigger problem is that I come up with these ideas, and I want someone else to do the writing for me.

If anybody wants to write Wolf, I'll tell you the gist of what I want to happen, and you can go from there. Really. I'll even forward on the 2000ish words I had written, but they're pretty bad.

Moving on.

So many aspects of our culture (or probably any culture, really) seem... crazy when you try and figure out where it began.
Case in point - circumcision. What the hell possessed the first human beings to say, "Hey, let's cut off some of our skin? And better yet, let's make it some of the skin from the most sensitive part of the body!"
And what's even crazier? The fact that it caught on. Other people were like, "Oh yeah! That mutilation thing is da bomb!"

I had some other idea for yet another story, but I have forgotten it now. Doesn't really matter, because I would have just wanted someone else to do the writing for me. [doh]

Thursday, November 09, 2006

New Lost Theory

I think that Craphole Island might be Sunnydale, circa Season 7.

Some spoilers now, for S3 of Lost and S7 of Buffy, so highlight only if you've been watching, or don't care about such matters:


The Smoke Monster seems to be able to take the form of dead people (Yemi, Jack's Dad (?), Hurley's friend Dave (?), maybe Kate's horse), which makes it The First Evil.

The guy with the patch is Xander.

And last night's episode ("I Do") had Caleb (or Mal, if you watched that Firefly show). So Season 7 just keeps on intruding into the Lost world.


I had some other pieces of evidence to back me up, but I've forgotten it now.

In other news, I've decided that Dean Koontz wrote The Husband as a NaNovel. Because a) it certainly couldn't've been planned [the twists are just too...out there] and b) the dialouge is, in many instances, just filler.
It's a crappy book, but I can't stop reading it. Weird.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Come on down!!!

Apparently, Bob Barker has decided to retire. There has not (as far as I know) been word yet on who will be replacing him. (Or if they'll simply shut The Price Is Right down once he leaves. Honestly, can you imagine anyone else hosting it?? [and, yeah, I know that others have hosted it, but let's face it Bob Barker is TPIR])

I always imagined that I'd do pretty well on TPIR. Whenever I watch at home, I always play along (god, I spent so many of my summers as a young 'un watching Price is Right, Press Your Luck, and a slew of other daytime game shows), and I always do reasonably well. I'd want my game to be either Cliff Hangers (I love watching the little mountain climber yodel as he goes up. And I always morbidly laugh when he falls off.) or Pathfinder. Or, most appealing - Plinko. Man, Plinko is awesome. Plus, it's fun to say. "Plinko!"

I would NOT want to play That's Too Much!. Because the cheapass in me always yells, "That's too much!" at the first price that Bob says. Because it is.
I would also not really want to play one of Lucky Seven. Yeah, the prize on that is always a BRAND NEW CAR!!!, but it's just too difficult to win.

Of course, it's all pretty much moot now, unless I happen to get down to LA before June of '07. :(
Oh well. There's always Wheel of Fortune.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

7th

I posted twice yesterday. Doesn't that let me off the hook for today? [/whine]

Oh, but, hey, look at that. I've done blogged again. Go team me.

And, since I have this open, I'll ramble a bit, eh?

Random thoughts:

How in the world could so many people have been involved with the making of Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties?? I swear the credits went on and on and on and on. I think more people were in the credits than actually saw the movie. It just amazes me whenever we watch a film to realize how much work goes into them.

Ducks, geese, and pigeons are all pretty crazy.

My knees ache. I swear that someone flipped the "old" switch in my body, because I am seriously getting all these pains just overnight. The old (er, that is, the 'young') me would have just shrugged these things off. Now, the healing takes a lot longer.

Monday, November 06, 2006

regurgitate

A few days back, Steph read some advice about NaNo that she read to me. It was (paraphrased) "The key to NaNo is to lower your expectations from 'best seller' to 'won't make someone vomit'.".

I think my Wolf story is a notch or two above the puke level. Or at least, I hope it is.

Today I wrote some 200, 250 words while at work. And then I lost it all. Talk about wanting to throw up.

And, yeah, 250 words isn't that much, but the slowness that Wolf has been coming, every word counts. At this point, I'm pretty much not gonna even try to hit 50,000. I just want to get the story out. (Although you got to wonder why I keep trying to force something that doesn't seem ready to be born. Hmmm.)

In other news, we just got back from the libe, where I picked up Ginger Snaps, An American Werewolf in London, Stephen King's Cycle of the Werewolf, Weezer's Make Believe CD, and The Husband by Dean Koontz.

And now, it's time for Heroes.

Oh, god, i'm old.

I did pushups (15), situps (5? 10?), squat thrusts (not many) and jumping jacks (I didn't count, but I went nonstop for nearly three minutes. I did a LOT of them.) yesterday.


I am in so much pain today it isn't even funny.


Last night during the Treehouse of Horror.... I fell asleep during the 3rd segment.

I also dozed off a couple of times during I ♥ Huckabees.

My back aches. And my hair is thinning.

Aging. Happens to the best of us.

This was totally not the post I was originally going to make. Maybe later.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sunday School

A humourous take on the Book of Job:



See? I've said for years that the Bible is a goldmine of comedy, just waiting to be plucked for television. This type of thing should be a weekly series.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Title goes here

Blah.

Didn't work on my story today - I'm at 2000someodd words right now, which is way behind schedule, but still is 2000 more words than I had four days ago (although, really, the story is just not...great.) - and I almost didn't blog today either.

Harper slept for like 12 hours today and she also threw up when she was awake, and I wonder if I'm catching what she had, because I am just not feeling... active. In fact, I'm gonna go veg out watching some lame Jet Li movie for the rest of the night. Maybe tomorrow I'll be more mentally here. Or there.

Friday, November 03, 2006

synaptic rebounding

ugh. I have a headache.

Partly due to haveing (yeah, I know it's misspelled. I'm too lazy to go back and correct it. But not too lazy to spend an extra however many words talking about it. I'm odd. And this is just a stream of conciousness type of entry anyway, so of course it'll be rambling and nonsensical and probably kind of boring and maybe have a nugget or two of real insight or wisdom or humor or whatever inside it. Point?? Oh! right, I was saying my headache is partly due to having) so many thoughts going on.

And partly due to too much television. (And it's political season. Again. Which at least means I'm not alone in my headache having.)

And partly due to lack of food.

And I think partly due to some sort of virus that's moved into our home within the past twenty-nine hours or so. Bah. Stupid sicknesses.

Things that are missing:
1) The latest cell phone card for my rechargeable phone. The units I have expire today, so I really need to find it.
2) The deodorant I bought a few days ago. I still have my old one, but it's running low, so finding the new stick would be helpful.
3) I ♥ Huckabees. It was next on our Netflix Q, and was supposed to have arrived on Wednesday. Apparently it got lost in the mail. :(
4) My ability to wrap this up with a witty conclusionary conclusion.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

2

As in, the second day of the month.
And the 2nd attempt at Wolf(er, or maybe the 3rd, really, if you count the 'false start' from last month on my blog). The good news? I've written 600someodd words now! Hooray! And, while it's still rather cringeworthy, at least it's WAY better than the 176ish words I had written yesterday. That stuff was just... no.

And "2" also counts for the two writing projects (progects? no. projects) going on this month. Nano and Nablo. I'm going to try and do both. AND!! I'm going to see if Nablo can have 50000 words. Which means I'd have written between the two, 100000 words in 30 days. Okay, put in that light, it's kinda insane. But, I still suggest that those who are doing NaBlo should have the 50k word count goal. Just to see.

In other news, Saren is also attempting NaNo. She wants to write 300 words in her story, which so far is about spiders. Although she just said she wants to write something "that she knows more about". And then she disappeared into her room to start typing on the computer.

I'm rambling. I should be working on my story. Or eating. Man, all the time with the eating and needing of food. So inefficient.