always remember: nothing matters
Today is May 26th, 2024. The song of the day is "Wet Dream" by Kip Addotta. (This will be familiar to anyone who grew up listening to the Dr. Demento show.)
It was April the forty-firstBeing a quadruple leap yearI was driving in downtown AtlantisMy barracuda was in the shopSo I was in a rented stingrayAnd it was overheatingSo I pulled into a Shell StationThey said I'd blown a sealI said, "Fix the damn thingAnd leave my private life out of itOkay pal?"While they were doing thatI walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar, a real diveBut I knew the ownerHe used to play for the DolphinsI said "Hi Gil"You have to yell, he's hard of herringThink I had a wet dreamCruisin' thru the Gulf StreamOoh Ooh Ooh OohWet dreamGil was also down on his luckFact is he was barely keeping his head below waterI bellied up to the sandbarHe poured me the usualRusty snail, hold the grunionShaken not stirredWith a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the sideHeavy on the makoI slipped him a finOn porpoiseI was feeling goodI even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squidsFor the halibutWell the place was crowdedWe were packed in like sardines They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy DorsalWhat soleTommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tunaSalmon Chanted EveningAnd the stage was surrounded by screaming groupersProbably there to see the bass playerOne of them was this cute little yellowtailAnd she's giving me the eyeSo I figured this is my chance for a little funYou know, piece of PiscesBut she said things I just couldn't fathomShe was too deep, seemed to be under a lot of pressureBoy, could she drinkShe drank like a . . .She drank a lotI said "What's your sign"She said "Aquarium"I said "Great, let's get tanked"Think I had a wet dreamCruisin' thru the Gulf StreamOoh Ooh Ooh OohWet dreamI invited her to my place for a midnight baitI said "Come on baby, it'll only take a few minnows"She threw me that same old line"Not tonight, I gotta haddock"And she wasn't kidding eitherCause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddockI'd ever seen come down the pikeHe was covered with musselsHe came over to me and said"Listen, shrimp, don't you come trollin' around here"What a crabThis guy was steamedI could see the anchor in his eyesI turned to him, I said"A-balone, you're just being shellfish"Well, I knew it was going to be trouble and so did Gil'Cause he was already on the phone to the codsThe haddock hits me with a sucker punchI catch him with a left hookHe eels overIt was a fluke but there he wasLying on the deck, flat as a mackerelKelplessI said "Forget the cods GilThis guy's gonna need a sturgeon"Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriendShe came over to me, she said"Hey, big boy, you're really a game fishWhat's your name"I said "Marlin"Think I had a wet dreamCruisin' thru the Gulf StreamOoh Ooh Ooh OohWet dreamWell, from then on we had a whale of a timeI took her to dinner, I took her to danceI bought her a bouquet of flounders And then I went home with herAnd what did I get for my troubleA case of the clamsThink I had a wet dreamCruisin' thru the Gulf StreamOoh Ooh Ooh OohWet dreamCruisin' thru the Gulf StreamOoh Ooh Ooh OohWet dreamCruisin' thru the Gulf StreamOoh Ooh Ooh Ooh
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It was April the forty-first
Being a quadruple leap year
I was driving in downtown Atlantis
My barracuda was in the shop
So I was in a rented stingray
And it was overheating
So I pulled into a Shell Station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said, "Fix the damn thing
And leave my private life out of it
Okay pal?"
While they were doing that
I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar, a real dive
But I knew the owner
He used to play for the Dolphins
I said "Hi Gil"
You have to yell, he's hard of herring
Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream
Gil was also down on his luck
Fact is he was barely keeping his head below water
I bellied up to the sandbar
He poured me the usual
Rusty snail, hold the grunion
Shaken not stirred
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side
Heavy on the mako
I slipped him a fin
On porpoise
I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids
For the halibut
Well the place was crowded
We were packed in like sardines They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal
What sole
Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna
Salmon Chanted Evening
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
Probably there to see the bass player
One of them was this cute little yellowtail
And she's giving me the eye
So I figured this is my chance for a little fun
You know, piece of Pisces
But she said things I just couldn't fathom
She was too deep, seemed to be under a lot of pressure
Boy, could she drink
She drank like a . . .
She drank a lot
I said "What's your sign"
She said "Aquarium"
I said "Great, let's get tanked"
Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream
I invited her to my place for a midnight bait
I said "Come on baby, it'll only take a few minnows"
She threw me that same old line
"Not tonight, I gotta haddock"
And she wasn't kidding either
Cause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock
I'd ever seen come down the pike
He was covered with mussels
He came over to me and said
"Listen, shrimp, don't you come trollin' around here"
What a crab
This guy was steamed
I could see the anchor in his eyes
I turned to him, I said
"A-balone, you're just being shellfish"
Well, I knew it was going to be trouble and so did Gil
'Cause he was already on the phone to the cods
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
I catch him with a left hook
He eels over
It was a fluke but there he was
Lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel
Kelpless
I said "Forget the cods Gil
This guy's gonna need a sturgeon"
Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
She came over to me, she said
"Hey, big boy, you're really a game fish
What's your name"
I said "Marlin"
Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream
Well, from then on we had a whale of a time
I took her to dinner, I took her to dance
I bought her a bouquet of flounders
And then I went home with her
And what did I get for my trouble
A case of the clams
Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
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