Today is President's Day, which, according to some car commercial, is the day when we honor two of our greatest leaders. (Two out of 43, eh? I suppose those are pretty decent odds, considering.)
Anyway. In honor of this holiday (which I had to work, thank you very much), here are a few ways in which to celebrate:
Choke on a pretzel.
Lie.
Invade Iraq.
Steal an election (or two).
Spy on the American people.
Lie.
Pray to Jesus.
Mispronounce the word 'nuclear'.
Get a blowjob.
Lie.
Claim that the Mission is Accomplished.
Coin the phrase "military-industrial complex"
Become stuck in your bathtub.
Lie.
Die in office.
Be assassinated.
Declare war.
Raise taxes.
Get your face on currency.
Chop down a cherry tree.
Lie.
Spend! Spend! Spend!
5 comments:
Meh.
I originally wanted the list to include a reference to each of the presidents, but the hour groweth late. Plus I think I covered all of them with the "lie" bits.
Regardless, this was a better post in my head than it turned out to be in real life. Hey! Just like the presidents!!
I was about to say, "Hey, did Bush get a blow job?" I mean, I know he's married, but that's no guarantee. As for assassination or dying in office, there's still time...
Oh, wait - this applies to more than one President, right? Right? Sure?
Technically, there are only 42 presidents, because Grover Cleveland was both the 22nd and 24th presidents.
I'm just full of all kinds of useless facts. I'm very good at crossword puzzles.
Dude, I don't know if you're aware of this, but there's a President's Month now. Thank goodness I was nonchalantly informed by a car commercial, otherwise I'd have had no freaking idea!
Nucular, honey, it's pronounced nucular.
Ahh, The Simpsons. A quote for every occasion!
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