Dear Santa Christ

I have been very good this year. Of course, being omnipotent, you know that already. You also know what I want for my reward for being such a model citizen. But it never hurts to remind people, so here is my xmas wish list:

1. time
2. money
3. life
4. games
5. other magazines
6. a bow and arrow set
7. to know how to use a bow and arrows
8. skills
9. skillz
10. a new computer
11. stuff
12. some dvds
13. pepsi
14. sleep
15. aspirin
16. a cell phone
17. a cell phone grenade
18. for cell phones to be eliminated from the planet
19. to hit my word count goal of 200,005 words blogged in the year of 2005
20. to be a little bit taller
21. a haircut
22. money
23. everyone to be happy
24. peace of mind (that's good any time of the year, actually)
25. peace on earth (so is this)
26. piece of pie (ditto)
27. piece of ass (and this, too)
28. a time machine
29. pop tarts
30. to have finished my story
31. to have actually worked on my story
32. someone else to write my story for me, but to incorporate the ideas I have for it
33. a chinchilla (although I know I'm getting one when I turn 35, so if you can't get me one this year, I can wait)
34. email
35. email that is not junk
36. a second job
37. to not have to get a second job
38. Operation: Simpsons Edition
39. friends
40. ooh! A robot!
41. a monkey
42. zombies
43. I'll take the porcelain dalmatian (hee!)
44. less people on the planet
45. less traffic
46. less pollution
47. less meanness
48. less politicians
49. lunch
50. bar-b-cue potato chips
51. one of them fancy calculators (you know the kind)
52. a great glass elevator
53. a paper airplane
54. the new NIN cd (With Teeth. Um. With Teeth is the title, I don't need teeth to be included with the cd)
55. a lasso of truth
56. Y: The Last Man Graphic Novels
57. a big screen television
58. a Buffy game for the GameCube
59. Two new controllers for the GameCube
60. gloves
61. A1 sauce
62. a jar of dill pickles
63. Mr. Potato Head
64. creativity
65. superpowers
66. bottled water
67. a fireplace
68. better insulation
69. better circulation
70. chickens (to raise, to eat, to sell)
71. a collection of all the special state quarters
72. a tornado in a box
73. a Tasmanian devil
74. a new printer
75. a deserted island
76. a new car
77. an answering machine
78. my two front teeth
79. peace on earth, goodwill toward man
80. any other cliche you've got available
81. a lightsaber
82. Yoda
83. Jedi Mind Trick Capabilities
84. a minotaur
85. Mandy Moore
86. Michael Moore
87. Roger Moore
88. more more more!
89. mores (heeee!)
90. weapons of mass destruction
91. The Dark Tower series
92. an alien spacecraft
93. an alien
94. an Alien in a Can
95. the moon
96. the sun
97. the sun blocked out (excellent)
98. a turtle
    
99. a trip to Awwwwstralia
100. clear skin
101. translucent skin
102. Canada (but just the cool half, eh?)
103. knowledge
104. hot chocolate
105. peak oil
106. a clone
107. tickets to see the Blue Man Group
108. a stereo
109. headphones
110. bagpipes
111. a typewriter
112. a mechanical pencil
113. pens
114. a trampoline
115. a lawnmower
116. an underground labyrinth that leads to various places around the city
117. the entire series of Angel on DVD
118. pizza
119. a new dictionary
120. a new atlas
121. a timeline
122. a chalkboard
123. a spoon
124. an asteroid
125. Asteroids
126. Hogwarts
127. Harry Potter Book 7
128. gills
129. wings
130. horns
131. fur
132. webbed feet
133. claws
134. fangs
135. a tail
136. a holodeck
137. anything that can be found using Google.com
138. anything that can not be found using Google.com
139. Applebee's
140. an end to this list
141. toilet paper
142. kitty litter
143. a horse
144. a lion
145. a tiger
146. a bear
147. to be on Survivor
148. an Energizer Bunny
149. an end to censorship
150. an end to stupidity
151. an end to avarice (heee!)
152. ice cream (Rocky Road)
153. to have an entry about me be put into wikipedia
154. some folders
155. a PT Cruiser
156. a vanity license plate to go with the PT Cruiser
157. a milkshake (that's better than yours)
158. a hat
159. a calendar
160. a desk
161. a new notebook
162. an iPod (not really, but might as well ask)
163. a crystal ball
164. sunglasses
165. a good Will Smith movie
166. a porcupine
167. some classes at UNLV or CCSN
168. a bowling ball
169. a bowling alley
170. a six sided die
171. a ten sided die
172. a 100 sided die
173. a pair of cool glasses like John Lennon used to wear
174. miracle whip
175. a walking stick
176. a little mermaid
177. a yellow submarine
178. the Nina
179. the pinta
180. an oubliette
181. a psychophysiological detection of deception
182. an American Express card
183. a Target store of my very own
184. an Xmas tree
185. a beehive
186. a scooter
187. a giant hamster ball
188. an ark
189. a dolphin
190. opium
191. squid
192. squirrels
193. sandwich bread
194. Indiana Jones' hat
195. a wad of cash
196. Boardwalk
197. Park Place
198. a sandshrew
199. a shovel
200. a rake
201. a new broom
202. a malfunctioner
203. a good spell chekcer
204. the second "P" tile from Scrabble
205. new clothes
206. etc.

I know it's a large order, but I feel I deserve it. If not, just remember that I know where you live.